Kalinka

I am "blind" musically. I love music because to me it is magic. Unfortunately, I find decorating to be magic as well! My skill is with words, not colors or styles or sounds.

I don't know if you will ever "get it" because I've been hanging around here trying to get "it", for a long time. But DH and I remodeled a kitchen at our last house and although it was painful, and took months of painstaking decisions, the result--to me--was beautiful. Of course, we were halfway through when I got a new job offer and we left just a couple of weeks after finishing the kitchen!

So hang in there, gather photos of rooms that speak to you, and incorporate a few elements at a time until you feel your own room is speaking to you.

Robin

Oh Robin that is no fun to move right after remodeling. I have moved 6 times and it is a constant challenge to have to start from scratch. My last house was just beautiful even with nothing in it. It was impossible to mess that space up.
This house is a total challenge as it is very small. All the things from my last home did not work in this one and I fought it for awhile and then decided that this is a cottage so I have to decorate cottage. Modern stuff does not work in here, it feels contrived.

The only thing I have done well with was keeping all the furniture very neutral so a new paint color and different pillows and throws can change the entire look and feel.

All the pics in here have been inspiring. I think that the greatest challenge is working in a space that you really do not like. I have a feeling that by the time i get this done .. i will move again so right now the house is just an art project. I want to learn how to work with all spaces so that moves will not throw me!

I hope your new kitchen is as beautiful to you as the one you just remodeled!
Kalinka

I'll second how hard it is to move and have to start all over, and what worked in the last house probably won't work in the next one. I'm having problems with that myself right now. I'll also second how it's tough to get something all fixed up just to leave it!

Kalinka, I'm a visual artist by trade and I still have the same problem you do of not being able to visualize. My garage is also loaded with paint cans! Good thing I don't mind painting, as I've painted my bedroom 5 times in two years and I'm still not happy with it. Now I've decided the problem isn't so much the walls as the furniture. And it doesn't help to have two dog crates in there, one of them HUGE. Oh well! lol

I find all the inspiration pictures here to be helpful, or at least inspiring (as in "keep trying you missed again"). Did you see the cottage decor thread in the gallery? I put a kazillion pictures in there so you're bound to find something for inspiration.

Kalinka, if anyone is decorator challenged, I am. I totally admire artists and musicians. In my business, I sometimes work with school band and orchestra directors. I don't know how some of those guys (and gals) get from their home to the school in the morning. They are usually disorganized and have no concept of logic, which is why they need me! ---- Then again, I absolutely marvel when I hear what they can accomplish with a bunch of kids. I am totally blown away. Bottom line, if we were all vanilla, life would be boring! Sometimes I think those of us who think we are decorator challenged are way too hard on ourselves. I admire people like Oceanna for all of her vision and expertise, but even she is not happy with her bedroom after 5 coats of paint! As I said in another post, I sometimes think that when we live with something for a long time, it is not as exciting to us as it is to others.
I received several very gracious compliments on my dresser turned vanity, and yes an artist had painted it. I could never have done that. But I have lived with it for about two years, so it has become kind of ordinary to me.
So don't be so hard on yourself. If you are making a very big ticket purchase, bring a brown bag with you; for things like paint, about $30 and a day can change any color.
Many years ago I used a lot of wallpaper. I agonized for days, weeks, even months over the best choice. My husband used to say that any one of a number of choices would work equally as well. Maybe that's why I pay big bucks to have the gray covered ---- and at 63 he is just beginning to get gray hair!! Enjoy the forum - there is so much good advice here - I would bet your home is beautiful!!!

Oceanna
Oh yes I have been all over your cottage thread, its amazing, that must have taken you forever!
When I moved into this home I brought my most loved big chocolate nubuck couch in here and it was a disaster! Twas way too darn and too big. I went from 12 windows in my living room to ONE. Lots of natural light to zip.

This place is starting to feel better and alot of it is due to coming here.

Dog crates are fun. I have tons of those in my garage. (i train dogs) Normally i make a garden of large potted trees and put the crates behind them so you cant see them. Crate decor has been my specialty for a number of years. I have always come up with how to work around them. Soft crates make great night tables and come in good colors AND you can paint on the fabric.. it kind of works like stretched canvas. Thinks like that I can visualize.

Thanks so much for that cottage thread.

Kalinka

Kalinka

No, the new kitchen is a 1980's throwback with cheap small cabinets, decorated in perfectly awful beige wallpaper and "renter's white" paint. Good thing we're renting! Plus I'm working on a PhD so I have no extra time to do much decorating. We're a military family so moving is part of the lifestyle. Looking forward to retirement--or moving again--in the next 2-5 years so then we can buy something and try again!

Robin

Kalinka, you're not the only one. I suspect most of us here have problems, especially with big ticket items or something that takes a lot of work. LOL It's easy to make suggestions to other people because we aren't heavily invested in the project when it's someone else's home.

I do think some people have it easier just because they don't really care - those same people don't bother coming to these boards. Some folks just have such a strong vision that they can pull it together but I think they are a very lucky limited number. I think most of us here struggle and worry and get gray hair because we care so much and we do want to get it right the first time. We have to be gentle with ourselves and allow that we can have mistakes or change our minds. That's what is great about a site like this. And when it's just tooooo hard, hire a professional.

Sky

Kalinka, when I found this forum a couple of years ago, I was working on my second home, the one that I thought at some point I would be carried out feet first. At the time, I was looking for furniture and literally stumbled across the DF. I lurked for a loooooong time before I had the courage to post. When I did my first post, I literally said that I was dipping my toe into the shallow end and begged for folks to be gentle! I too thought I was decorating challenged and in my case I purchased many things and later regretted it.

This forum became my daily bread and two things have been confirmed for me, I know a heck of a lot more than I thought I did and secondly, everyone makes mistakes. Often as I read the threads, I would think "oh that works or it doesn't" but I hardly posted my opinions because I was too intimidated to do so.

I recently moved to OH and so now I am working on another house. As I started decorating this house, it took me a minute to realize that I had vision and while the eye is not perfected, it is getting there.

The key is that I slowly started to become more confident in myself and even began asking questions such as the one you posted, particularly when it comes to accessories. What I have done is started to acknowledge my strenths and have asked for help with my weaknesses. I have also identified refined and my style and that too has helped me tremendously.

You mentioned music. I absolutely love music and if there were no music in the world, I truly would cease to exist. Next to decorating it is my #1 passion. What I have done is tied decorating to the music I love. Examples, I would my FR to be like smooth jazz, relaxing, intimate, comfy cozy. You know, kick your feet up, get that throw, turn the music on and relax. I want my GR AKA my living room, to be like classical musical with a French Country/European/Hint of English refinement. I want you to be comfortable, but you will know automatically just from the feel of the room, not to put your feet on the ottoman! This is the room for a good bottle of wine, great conversation, good friends.

I also like hip-hop, R&B, Barbara Streisand, Disco, The Bee Gees, House Music and there are parts of my house or certain accessories that if equated to my music, you would be able to "see" and feel that influence. So depending on what kind of music you love, think about your home from a musical standpoint. What kind of musical statement would you want it to have and what would need to buy to make it happen?

The biggest lesson of all is patience, patience and more patience. It won't all get done in one day, month or even year. Sometimes when you are working on a new space, it is easier to take one room and start there. Usually that one room will lead to the next and the next and so on.

Someone recently started a thread with photos and asked what style did we think she was. I thought that was a great question because everyone chimed in and now I hope at least when she is out shopping, she will be able to articulate and describe at least what she wants.

Relax, breathe, have fun and it will come together!

Deborah

Interesting to think of decor in terms of music. I like music with no production... i want to hear the pure clean instrument. I hate things that are overproduced. I dont like a lot of effects on vocals or instrumentals. It does not matter what style of music it is.
I like something to happen that is unexpected musically.

I feel the same about decor. I dont like things to be overly ornate. I like things that are unexpected.

Actually I think that you are on to something. Maybe it is like writing a song... I labor over that the same way.

Also I think a change in envoirnment makes a big difference. I am from up north. You can not decorate in Florida the same way that you do in Vermont or Chicago. Warm cozy colors are not so good down here, it makes the airconditioning less effective :0

Thanks for all these great responses!

kalinka, you ARE developing your eye, the sheer fact that you posted this and are reflecting on it are proof. It's all trial and error and it's a slow evolution.
The times when your instinct is right are victories; mistakes occur along the way, even the best designers have "goofs", although they don't brag about it.

I think the music analogy is interesting too. I'll add a bit more to it...

I took piano lessons all through my childhood. I could play decently, but there was not great *talent* behind it. It was all learned. I think of anything in the arts (in this case, decorative) in the same way...we might learn to emulate the good stuff, but if there is no true talent behind it, it will always be a bit lacking. But that's not to say that the learned skill is not good enough....I think it is. We are only human, after all, and the truth is that we can't excel at everything. So my goal is to do the best I can, and be happy with that.

I too thank all here who share their bits of wisdom here. I have learned a lot in just a couple of months of reading.

Kalinka, I'm a musician, too, with absolutely ZIPPO talent for the visual arts. What you said about how you like your music -- acoustic, not overproduced, something unexpected -- is like you read my mind. And as I think about how I've decorated, it absolutely maps to that sensibility. How interesting is THAT? Clean lines, nothing contrived, "unexpected" accessories/knickknacks that are often whimsical.

I don't really have any advice for you except to try developing a knowledge of what you like "in someone else's house" vs. "in your own house". I know there's plenty I like and admire, but I couldn't live with it. Finding what's ME has been a journey, not uncomplicated because what's ME also has to be what's DH. Luckily, his taste and mine are very similar only he's pickier, so the result is he keeps me truer than I'd be on my own and, I think, has helped us avoid bad mistakes. (I'm more impulsive. He's an engineer and not removely impulsive.)

That's my little sonata on the topic. Or shall I make it a rondo ... theme, variation A, theme, variation B, theme ...

:-)

Talent is a funny term, if you can play you have talent. People with zero talent dont get through the 3rd lesson because there is nothing behind it. You cant compare yourself with a mega talent because that is not talent it is a gift.

Music and decor have so many similarities. Music needs a theme, it needs tone, it needs to be grounded, it needs a focal point and it needs to be pulled together. Those are some of the bones of music. There are a million ways to get that done. It comes from the gut, it takes practice and it takes courage to try to find and willingness to express. You have to fearlessly put it out there.

That is what I see in here. There is only one major difference. Trial and error in music does not cost anything but a little ego. Trail and error in decor can cost a small fortune so it is harder to drop the fear and run with wreckless abandon unless you have very deep pockets.

Funny-- my undergrad degree was in music performance! It is sad, though. I do not play anymore and I even sold my larger instrument.

With music, I always thought (when it came to composing) that I was best with synthesizing elements, not starting from scratch. I liked to take things that I loved, but turn them into something unexpected. Maybe that is the route I need to go with my own decorating, because I feel lost. I know when something works for me, I just don't know how to get there. However, I agree that sometimes you've just seen/heard things so much that you take them for granted.

I think my favorite room in our house is our playroom. It is not going to be in any design magazine, though. It has soft green walls, a faded denim sofa ($15 from Craigslist!), children's books, a view of the backyard, and pictures we scanned in from the cover of books (framed) on the wall, a tacky 60s ceiling . . .and of course-- toys! It's often messy. But, it is USED. It looks like people enjoy themselves in there. That is the look I think am going for. When I see homes that are beautiful, I admire them greatly. But the ones I want to live in are the ones that the ones that looked LIVED in, with people who have passions and love for one another.

My dearest friend was a beautiful woman in a frumpy package when I first met her. She has long, naturally curly brown hair, a beautiful figure and a lovely face. Her personality and kindness to all make her a treasure even if you completely discounted the outward appearance. But seriously, I had never seen anyone with so many natural attributes and so little taste. Her hair was always frizzy because she knew nothing of mousse or styling products. She was greying (in her late 30's at the time) in the front. Her face was devoid of makeup. And her dresses, suits, and shoes, were mostly hand-me-downs from her aged mother. Eventually, a couple of other friends and I started including her on shopping trips and began urging her away from '80's styled clothing and into figure-flattering things that she would have never considered. As her daughter became a teen, she started learning (on her own from friends) about the care and feeding of naturally tightly curled hair and began to urge her mother to try a new style and some products. My friend even finally colored her hair with a tinge of chestnut highlights. And while she still doesn't pile on makeup like I do, (she doesn't have the desperate and unfortunate need for it that I do!) she is now wearing colored gloss on her lips and a little eyeshadow.

Actually, we helped to create a monster, because, now she is stunning! None of my friends can hold a candle to her. Anyone who has ever watched Sabrina should be able to totally picture the transformation. For a woman in her mid-40's to look ten times better than she did in her early 30's is astonishing, to say the least. And the best part to me? She has developed her own "eye" for what looks good on her. She still worries and questions her own judgment. She feels it necessary to bring her husband and (now 20 year old) daughter along on shopping trips to help her decide. But she can finally "see" what does look good. And it's beginning to show in her home too.

So, my point is, that while vision and a great eye for the details CAN be acquired, sometimes it takes time a lot of help. Some people have no real aptitude for it. Keep on working on it, because it's really satisfying when you finally get a color right, or a fabric chosen that looks good and wears well. Finding the right antique or piece of art to fit in a space is completely gratifying. But if you still feel that you just don't quite have the hang of it, include some of your friends that can put things together to make a pretty room. Get a little guidance from a neighbor that has a lovely home. There's no shame in using someone else's choice for a paint color if it turns out smashing in your spaces.

And don't set too much stock in most of us. After years of reading and posting on decorating boards, I find that most of us have 10 paint discards before we find the color that works. I've brought home at least half a dozen fabric samples before I've settled on one for window treatments or upholstery. And the Returns counter at HomeGoods has a special area for Red's stuff--All the mirrors and pillows and rugs and misc. that didn't quite work out like I thought when I got it home and put in it's place. If I had to order all my furniture from stores instead of buying used and reselling the things that I don't like so much when they are in my rooms, I would be sitting in the middle of a mistake in every room of my house, and what's worse, not able to afford to fix it. Seriously.

Red

Red - You almost have me convinced to come to where ever you live and get a make over and go on a shopping spree. It sounds like you released the butterfly with- in for Sebrina.

It is wonderful that there are musicians in here, I did see a few killer music rooms in here so I should have known. For a long time dog crates were my tables and guitars were my decor... talk about mixing wood tones. That is not to mention all the cases, we call that distressed fake leather. I have only 3 now.

I think that some of the rooms are most breathtaking in here.

I sometimes visit the gallery just when I am feeling tired, I feel like I come into your rooms and relax, then go back into my room and create.

A lived in clean inviting creative space is what I want to make. I have learned that bright colors dont work well in this space so I picked colors that I NEVER would have imagined working with... from here.

I should have posted some photos and gotten some feedback, it would have been more fun that way but I was totally intimidated. my living room is the size of most peoples entrance area.

Post pictures! I have a small LR, too. So what? I figure it is easier, in some respects, to have a small room. . .especially considering I have a small budget, too!

Kalinka, listen to me hard. Your living room is NOT the size of most people's entry. It's the size of some of the entrys posted HERE by people willing to post pictures. How many people there are out there in the great and green land of GardenWeb with small living rooms, tiny kitchens, and NO entryways, no one will ever know. That's because most that have really small spaces can't step back far enough to get a camera angle. That's why you will never see my OLD entry, or my current bathroom. To get a good shot of my master bath area, I would have to shoot from just inside the toilet rim.

Red

Red is right. I had to stand in my hall closet (NOT kidding) to get pics of my living room to post. :)

So yes, if you want to, then please do post. Diversity adds to the value here!

Kalinka, you wrote: "I cant seem to see things in my minds eye."

Have you ever noticed that when someone here writes a long, detailed, descriptive post, the first (and sometimes only) response is: "PLEASE POST PHOTOS!"

It's because very few of us can see things "in our mind's eye".

I consider myself good with color, and I have DOZENS of rejected sample quarts in my basement. And I agonized over every one.

It's part of the process. Don't beat yourself up.