The cost per sq ft can vary tremendously, depending on what materials you choose even more than the cost of labor. Actual cost could be much lower than $165 or double that! Is the process of building hard? Yes, and the less you plan and decide in advance, the harder it is. Even if you don't get into the mechanics of building, and don't expect to do more than choose colors and finishes, there will be approximately 987,000 decisions to make that you never expected. Do your plans in advance with as many details as possible -- it's unfair to others (spouse, architect, GC, foreman, mason, HVAC, etc) to expect them to mindread what you want, and it's unfair to your budget to make decisions at the last minute. Last minutes decisions almost always cost you lots more than those made before the build began. Besides, your contract should be so well written that only a hurricane/flood/etc should cause the need for alast minute decision. Your husband is right that you aren't aware of all the difficulties, because NO ONE ever expects the build to be as problematic, time-consuming, detailed, and unexpected as every build actually is. Even experienced GCs with many houses under the belt can be caught by surprise --- by a boulder, or by lumber costs, or by a hurricane/ tornado/ blizzard/ flood, or by clever thieves, or even by his favorite expert crew going on vacation. Because of the stresses involved, your marriage will either deteriorate with remarkable speed, or improve slowly. Whichever happens, the couple that moves into the new house are not the same people they were when they first met the architect. Personally, I prefer people who have built a house; there's something about the process which adds a wonderful depth of character that no renter can achieve.

"Premature soil movement" can mean a lot of things. I do not understand how you can stabilize soil UNDER a house that has already been built. I have no idea how serious the problem really was, or how difficult it would be to fix, but admitting you had to stabilize soil UNDER a house tells me there was a BIG problem. I also have my doubts the builder voluntarily repurchased the house from the buyer - there may have been a lawsuit (or the threat of one) involved. And this is just my paranoid, suspicious nature - but any big housing developer has certain connections where he could easily find someone to "sign off" claiming everything was ok. If something bad develops - how easy would it be to hold them accountable for that piece of paper claiming everything was ok? Then the termite thing is another problem, but that seems less of an issue to me. Thats something that can be easily treated, and lets hope they thoroughly inspected the house to make sure the termites were only concentrated within the cabinets. I really don't mean to be a fear monger, but I would definitely stay away. With as many houses are on the market, it would be easier to find another house that does not have these issues. Good luck

@jellytoast and others who point out that basically I’m not qualified to act as my own GC and am not saving money by trying to do so: There’s truth to that. Ultimately I’m responsible for not verifying the install was plumb and square, and you have a valid point. I knew the installation itself was critical, and I knew the cabinets need to be square. I totally dropped the ball on verifying that they were. On the other hand, as Sammy pointed out, some GC’s are no better than what I wound up with. This could have ended up a non-issue, or the same way – or even worse. In any event we’re dependent on (1) our own knowledge + information from the GC or (2) our own knowledge + information from the installers/tradesmen. When we bought the house 2 years ago we hired a GC to install hardwood floors (in ½ the house) and to handle what was going to be a much larger kitchen remodel (bump into the garage and tear down another wall instead of keeping the same footprint). It was a really bad experience. First, we paid a premium for sub-par hardwood floor install/finish. Had I learned more on my own about HW floor install and finishes rather than relying on information from the GC and his sub we would have done the floors differently. It was a disappointing and costly mistake. I learned there are risks with a GC as well as without a GC, and that hiring a GC doesn’t guarantee desired results. We did get a bid from another GC to handle the scaled-down kitchen redo this year. Ultimately we weighed the risks vs costs in either scenario (GC vs no GC) and decided to GC ourselves. This isn’t the right decision for everyone, but I still believe it was the right decision for us despite the situation we’re dealing with. The KD came out yesterday along with one of the original installers and an install project manager. The project manager recommended tearing out the counter that has ½” shim, and install the cabinets correctly. Also tear out the crown moulding where it’s bad/ugly and re-do. All doors that have cosmetic imperfections will be replaced. At this point we are satisfied with the proposed solution, although it’s certainly not over. I can’t say how much I appreciate all your comments and help! Thank you!!

a)Your cabinets look very nice to me. don't change anything major until you get closer to your plans to change countertops. Frankly even then I'd change countertops and backsplash, and would leave these cabinets alone. Professional job will be very expensive, and they look good, really. If you're worried about what's in or out-stain comes back, so you'll be the fashionable one:) If you can't stand them-still better to wait until you know the rest of the elements, as already suggested upthread. b) Don't paint walls gray, but not because it's on its way out (even though it kinda is)..decisions on paint, and colors in general, should be dictated by your house, existing elements, light a room gets, your style, preferences, etc. Your kitchen stays the same for now-it means most grays except for greiges so warm they're already taupes etc, don't have anything in common with it. Cabinets would work with gray, it's quite versatile wood stain you have..but your current granite and backsplash won't. I'd go with warm colors just lighter...creams, for example. c) I know you've said you've decided on it already but I agree to go with slightly lighter stain on the floors. More forgiving. (even though some people like me fuss about floors whatever color they are) Disregard if you're set on it..do check though how they'll look with your cabinets, this stain flooring, that stain flooring, if you haven't yet. I understand that the decision to stain the floors drove the question of painting the cabinets, or?...