Meeting House I need Prayers

13 years ago

Dean is no longer able to walk and very difficult to deal with. We are not married and I don't have Power of Attorney. He needs to be in a HealthCare Facility. I'm having to be a little sneaky and I'm not liking that at all.

I have the support of his Children and Friends, that this is the right decision. I'm not strong enough to go this alone.

I've alerted my DD and DS and told them I need them to be there for me.

I'm going to a Lawyer this week to see what I must do.

Just say a little prayer for me. He has a nice retirement and he is a Vetern. It remains to be seen how this will go down. It's in God's hands.

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Comments (27)

pattico_gw
13 years ago
Will keep you in prayers Gayle. I think this will be a good thing for you. But probably be hard to do. I'm glad you will have some support.

patti
sleeperblues
13 years ago
Good luck. I don't have any advice, just thinking of you and Dean.
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Martha here's a great insprirational sight you may want to make your homepage for a while. Remember a wondrous thing is happening right now. Your body is healing. I'm thankful that you have that broken leg to creep around on. I'm thankful for the doctors that set it for you. I'm thankful for the medication to releive some of your discomfort. I pray you will be surrounded by the warmth of family and friends and you will regain your strength and peace of mind. I pray that even in your misery nothing can steal your joy. Here is a link that might be useful: Inspiration
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Comments (23)
Thank you for telling me what I know should have happened long ago. My sister and brother-in-law are both lawyers.We haven't wanted to upset Diane right now because of her health.But, we are going to ask Bob to help us get him out of here.Like I said, I don't want them to take them, I just want to know how to get him out.When Ken was in the hospital back in March because of taking to many pain pills, I asked the nurse case worker how I could get him out. She told me that because he was a relative and that I had let him move in, the only way to get him out was to take him to court. That doesn't seem right, and because of mine and Jim's health issues, I didn't go further.You asked me if he had mental or physical issues that would make him encapable to take care of himself. He somehow graduated from HS, has held jobs, only ones that Jim or my Dad got for him, and is not so much in pain from his back that he can't work. Sears let him go because he told them that he could only come back to work if he could work for two hours and be able to sit for 20 minutes when he needed to. The disability that he is getting is from insurance that he is payin #179. a month. It is not Government disability.As far as mental, he is really a filthy person.He doesn't shower, my children came over and tore up the carpet in his room, and painted his room purple, what he wanted. And his room is filthy already.I put his microwave and toaster oven on the porch because it is filthy and I don't want it in my house.Shortly after he moved in,I found bugs in the house so made him pay for an exterminator. He pays that every month.Sorry for venting, but that is about all I have done since he has been making our life even more miserable lately. He told me he is perfectly happy here, isn't leaving, and I can't make him leave. New Years resolution. He will leave here. We have looked into HUD houses, but they do inspections and you have to keep the place clean. So, if he doesn't and once he is out, he is not coming back. My Jim use to be a locksmith and this will be one happy job for him Thanks again, for listening.
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Comments (7)
Hugs, bengardening. It's so hard to watch a friend with an illness. Hopefully they'll come up with a doable treatment plan for her, I know you will be her supporting friend in the meantime. Strength to you both.
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marie_ndcal
13 years ago
Find a VFW post (larger one, and ask for the Service Officer. This is their job, (free) to help veterans. If you cannot get help, ask the State officers of the VFW. DH was extremely active in CA and he had an excellent person doing this job. Not sure about the America Legion.
jae_tn2
13 years ago
doesn't sound like it's going to be fun. prayers and good thoughts for you.
glenda_al
13 years ago
You seem to be a very strong person.
Hang in there.

Thinking about you and hope things work out for the best FOR YOU!
tami_ohio
13 years ago
Will keep you both in my prayers.

Tami
petaloid
13 years ago
Even though it may be difficult, I feel sure you will accomplish your mission of getting him into a health care facility.
hounds_x_two
13 years ago
You indicated that you have the support of his children. Can they get legal/medical power of attorney? Might be a way to go, since they are supportive. So sorry you are going through this. Will keep you on my mind and in my prayers.
donna37
13 years ago
Like Marie said contact the VFW for help from their service officer. They can be an immense help for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as well as Dean.
lynn_d
13 years ago
You know Gayle, you are dead wrong. You are strong enough to do this and more when the need arises. You have my prayers and you have God at your side. Believe in yourself, sweetheart.
kathy_
13 years ago
Bless you! Hoping you can get power of attorney. You will get through this. Hugs, Kathy
janie_ga
13 years ago
Your page does not show where you live but we have a new (2 years old) Vet nursing home connected to the VA hospital in Clarksburg, WV. I have not seen the inside of the facility but it was built with windows overlooking the river and the community ball park so the vets could watch the kids play. If you and/or his kids are anywhere near a VA hospital, you may want to investigate this option. I know they are usually "next to impossible" to get into because there are so many vets in need but since this one is new, there might still be space.

Good luck,
Janie
User
13 years ago
You can do this Gayle. I am reminded of the poem Footprints in the Sand. You are not alone by any measure to get through this. It is a blessing the children are here for both of you too.

I send my prayers for both of you.
hgl_gaylemarie
Original Author
13 years ago
MY Brother was in the VA Hospital in Houston and had excellent care.
country_sunshine
13 years ago
Gayle, everyone here is behind you and will be thinking of your and praying for you.... Lean heavily upon the Lord. He will never fail you ... and talk to his kids about getting the necessary paperwork done too...

We are here for you.

Carolyn
susanjf_gw
13 years ago
what are his dr's saying? have they any influence on him? his children might have to petition the court for for power of attorny...

i just hope you find the right steps for you both... i'm so scared my niece might be in this situation someday..she's lived with her bf for over 25 years, but no recourse if he should pass (like ss benefits)
alisande
13 years ago
Gayle, you'll get through this. We all know you're a strong woman. Still, even the strong need a good strong hug sometimes.

(((Gayle)))
phyllis__mn
13 years ago
This has to be hard to handle, but you can do it, Gayle. Having the support of his family will ease the way.

Phyllis
lindyluwho
13 years ago
Janie, Gayle is in Texas.

Gayle, you can do this. Just take one step at a time so you don't get overwhelmed. Get his children involved. They should be dealing with this, not you.

Linda
Tigerlil
13 years ago
I agree that his children should be taking care of this.Not that you shouldn't be involved but the burden of making the decisions about his care should be theirs.
I don't know where in TX you are.Houston area? I do know there is an excellent Veterans home in Big Spring,TX.
Just hang in there! It will get better.I will keep you and Dean and family in my prayers.
patti43
13 years ago
Already been saying a few prayers that it will be easier than you think and for strength for you, Gayle. You know it is best for him, so don't feel so badly.
kacram
13 years ago
k(((((((Gayle))))))
jemdandy
13 years ago
Since you are a significant friend and not married, a lot of the responsibility falls to the children or next of kin. Apparently, he has not given anyone authority to make life decisions for him so this may require a court ruling. If he had an attourney, talk with him/her.

State and local laws vary. In some cases if a couple has been living together for a period of time, say 7 years, they may be considered to have a common law marriage. You will need to consult with a local lawyer for advice.
Kathsgrdn
13 years ago
((((Gayle)))) Sending a prayer your way. I hope you get things worked out.
jel48
13 years ago
Thinking about you and Dean, Gayle, and praying everything happens the way you need it to happen.
bulldinkie
13 years ago
Being a veteren they do pay for health care etc look into it,my brothernlaw just passedf away actually went to the verterens hospital.
joyfulguy
13 years ago
Either you or one of his offspring, hopefully one who is empathetic and lives nearby need to get a Power of Attorney for health, and the financial affairs aspect need to be considered if he is getting borderline with regard to dealing with such things.

Check out whether, lacking a marriage certificate, you may be eligible to have any say at all about the situation as of his death, e.g. for pension(s) should you become a survivor.

It's important to find out your position also, should he pass on, lacking a will.

Good wishes at the moment for getting this present situation dealt with in the best way.

ole joyful

Meeting House I need Prayers

Comments (27)

pattico_gw

sleeperblues

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