Probably not anxious enough.

but now you seem anxious about being anxious about it, and that's not good either.

Yes. Yes. and also Yes!

DH can be considered by his own nature-and-by-nuture a borderline hoarder .... plus we run our Ebay store out of our home so the garage and the home office is FULL and cluttered. The store is a VERY necessary source of income but can be a source of tension at times too.

Sigh. I truly envy those folk who can simply remove items, clear spaces, reorganize or re-decorate at any point.

I'm not sure it makes me anxious, but it definitely affects me. For instance, I cannot start cooking/prepping food/etc if there are things on the counters that don't typically belong there (like dishes, paperwork, etc.) I also have to clean up as I go whereas dh waits until after he's finished cooking or eating. I can't leave the house if there are dishes in the sink to the point where I'm almost late getting out of the house if I'm leaving and notice there are dishes. I don't mind organized clutter as much - IOW, I can have a pile of mail on the counter, if it's in a pile or organized and not spread all over.

I don't like collectibles or trinkets, etc. Too much stuff on tables, bookshelves (except for books or nicely displayed, uncluttered groupings) is not for me.

Christmas does make me a little crazy with all the extra stuff around. And when we are unwrapping gifts, I have to have a big trash bag in the room to throw out trash as we unwrap as too much trash definitely makes the experience less enjoyable.

When I was working in an office, I could not leave at the end of the day unless my desk was totally organized.

Hmm, I guess maybe I am a little anxious about clutter after all. But oddly, my house is not clutter free. With four kids and a dh who is not the neatest, I can't stay on top of it like I'd like to w/o driving THEM crazy. So I'm a bit more relaxed about clutter than I was pre-kids.

Yes, definitely. I am not a clean freak or phobic in any way about germs but clutter makes me crazy. I need to have neat, organized spaces for my mind to function calmly. I have been this way since I was a child growing up in a very disorganized and cluttered house. My room was my sanctuary and I kept it straightened up and looking "decorated", as best I could, at all times.

It is hard to hate clutter so much - my husband's family stays with us a lot and they are much less bothered by clutter and general messiness. I love them a lot and I try to keep my tendencies at bay when they are here and I know they try hard with me to be neater. I used to get really mad at myself (and was more anxious!) about loving order and organization, but over the years I have grown to accept it more and I realize that living clutter free makes me a happier person. We all have our pet peeves and other things that bother people don't bother me at all!

Yes, except for designated areas of the house that are filled with clutter--thinking particularly of my son's room and our florida room. Both are tucked away from my daily view and both are much too full of junk. I really need to tackle both areas.

However, the spaces that we live in daily stay tidy and I do get anxious and upset when things get cluttered or in major disarray. So our sinks are always empty of dishes, flat surfaces don't have stuff on them, mail gets sorted and tossed quickly, beds are made daily etc. I long ago got into the habit of tidying each night before bed and each morning before work and that helps a lot.

Corollary: one of the life luxuries I never, ever want to give up is a housekeeper twice monthly. With the house being deep cleaned every other week, and with my son living elsewhere, it's truly a pleasure to look around most of the time at a nice, neat, clean and calm home :).

Ann

I wouldn't say anxious, but annoyed. My DH and I are at odds about this. During the winter months, he hangs his coats on the dining room chairs. Sometimes three different ones. Then in the living room he takes out his gym clothes and throws them on the back of a club chair.
We have talked about this and his feeling is that he lives here too! He just does not want to hang up his coats as he goes out multiple times in the day.

He is retired but still handles all our real estate properties, so he's always busy with something.
Two years ago we bought a club chair for the bedroom. Instead of sitting and having my morning coffee in the living room, i take it upstairs because my view from the soda is the coats!.

I have one daughter back at home. She confines her clutter to a downstairs bedroom. She uses two of our three bathrooms though, for all her beauty products. For the holidays, I confine her to the bathroom downstairs!
I sometimes hang my coat on a stair rail in our TV room downstairs. I guess I feel though that the living room and dining rooms should be clutter free since these are the rooms people see coming through the front door.
I've learned to live with it though. It's a quick fix if I get unexpected guests.

I do try to keep things tidy. Dishes cleaned and put away, newspapers put in recycling when finished etc.

Yes, and I've passed on to our DD. I've spent the entire morning decluttering most of the house, once again. Am now headed into our guest room, which is also where my desk is, to start on that. A cluttered house or room really does make me anxious. Although I'm not obsessive about it, it's hard for me to relax if I have to look at clutter.
Lynn

Too much so? I'm a big picker upper, clean as you go type of gal. Wouldn't have it any. other. way.

If I ever build my own home, I will make the laundry room a good size and have a table, cupboard something in there for all the daily stuff that creates clutter....bills, papers, magazines, receipts, decorating files, etc. I have one closet on the main floor in the foyer...that's it. I've tried to create more storage with furniture pieces but it's not enough. I currently have stuff stacked along a wall in DH's den that I need to go through...papers from work, medical stuff, etc...it never ends!

Ellendi....my DH does the same thing! Hangs his jackets on the kitchen chairs. It drives me insane! Even if I have stuff on the counters, just removing his jackets makes the kitchen look better.

A long time ago, before I was a homeowner I think, my SIL (who is older) told me that she can't leave the house if it's a mess, because if she gets in a car accident and dies, she'd be embarrassed for people to know that she left her house that way. I don't have THOSE thoughts, but I do like to give the first floor a very quick once-over, if I have time, in the morning before I go anywhere. Not "cleaning," just de-cluttering.

The house also has to be neat and clean before we go on a vacation, because I know my head would explode if I came home from a relaxing vacation and walked into a big mess.

Certain members of my family walk out of the house, or head up to bed, leaving empty or half-empty water glasses in the living room, headphones on a table, pillows tossed on the floor, etc. Unless we're having company, I tend to let this go all weekend and Sunday night, after everyone has gone to bed or to their rooms, I will do a "sweep" of de-cluttering.

This is not to say that my house is CLEAN. I can ignore dog hair on the floor or a dirty kitchen table for much longer than I can tolerate someone's shoes in the living room or yesterday's newspaper on the coffee table.

I guess I'm not alone then.

Ellendi our husbands must be related. My DH has coats hanging on chair backs and has no problem shucking a shirt or other clothes on the floor. It truly makes me nutso! I feel like I am constantly fussing at him to pick up or do it myself. When I hang things up for him he complains that he can't find it. There are, at any given time, three to four pairs of his shoes at the French doors in the library. I used to just tease him about it and say his shoes multiply like bunnies but my sense of humor is being sorely tested.

KSWL, same here. I can't abide the thought of dirty clothes at home in the hamper.

I have the same complaint about the jackets all over the furniture. My daughter taught me a trick that works for her. In the fall she sets up a temporary coat rack near the most used entrance in the fall and its a good compromise. It's wrought iron and looks good in her entry.

And I've worked very hard at keeping the paper to a minimum. The majority of the mail never makes it in the house. I put it right in the recycle bin. That helps immensely.

Yes, clutter can make me anxious. My house is small so I really have to stay on top of it. ð³

I wouldn't say it makes me anxious but I don't like it. My DH is like many of the others - it doesn't bother him. He likes to leave everything wherever he finished using it so it will be readily available next time he needs it. I've learned to tolerate a certain amount of his clutter and he has learned about how much I'll tolerate and does seem to make an effort to stay within that limit. There are certain areas that are designated for his clutter and he pretty much sticks to those. It could be a lot worse I guess.

I could have everything perfectly clutter free if I was alone but what fun would that be. Who wants to be alone in a clutter free home - not me.

I would say it depends and I would say one person's clutter might be another person's accessories.

An orderly stack of books next to my bed is not clutter.
The nearly 80 candlesticks that are usually on top of my japanned cabinet are not clutter--they are a collection.
Even the 12 or more things on my nightstand are not clutter.

Because they are there because I am reading them (the books) or enjoy looking at them (the doodads) and they are laid out, organized and clean.

I have to have a pile of papers where mail and paperwork and such gets left alone even though it's a bit messy, because it reminds me that I may need to read it, pay it or file it.

But I can't stand things randomly lying around, I can't stand anything under the bed and I can't stand any dust or soap or toothpaste residue anywhere, and I will "line up" certain things that I think need to be lined up and I will do it as often as needed in order to keep them lined up.

And I am the relaxed one in my house. My SO traveled with a friend who is a bit --scattered, I guess-- and came home put down the suitcase, and went into the kitchen and picked up a roll of paper towels and the bottle of Windex, and said: "Leave me alone for a while-- I need to unwind!" So for some people cleaning and straightening is even a form of unwinding.

Holly, exactly! I tried hanging them up. Can't find your coat? There's this thing called a hall coat closet! And actually the hall closet is just for his coats and jackets.

I'm done. Not worth the effort. I agree with Gibby," Who wants to be alone in a clutter free home - not me."

No problem here with clutter.

"the house also has to be neat and clean before we go on a vacation, because I know my head would explode if I came home from a relaxing vacation and walked into a big mess.
Haha Sueb, I'm with you."
I have to have everything organized and clean before I leave for the lake house, then it' s like Groundhog Day. I have to do the same at that house before I come home lol. I like everything around me to be in it's place and look like a still life. Now, my husband, is another story but he has several rooms of his own so he can make them as messy as he wants. I never go it them, it's scary lol

It makes my anxious, makes my skin crawl, makes me crazy. I like everything clean- really, really clean. Even my pets get groomed and their teeth brushed. Clutter makes me feel dirty.

Absolutely makes me anxious. Can't stand clutter, nor can my DH fortunately. My kids don't seem to mind it though. Working on them.

I know someone who took every coat, shoe, sock or whatever that was randomly thrown around and hid it, and when asked "Where is my___?" responded " Isn't it in the closet/ drawer/ rack / where it's supposed to be? No? Hmm."

When enough stuff had disappeared they started to figure out that they had better keep track of where they were putting it, which meant it might as well go in the right spot. It didn't take long to get the message across.

Pal, I totally agree that bedside books and pretties aren't clutter. I just loathe clothes scattered or hanging on chairs and shoe, shoes, and more shoes by the doors. I have a walk in closet in the living room and I want to make it a small mud room but I fear it will become like Fibber McGee's closet and I will get bonked on the head each time I open it. I will most likely be looking for a contractor in the Spring to cut a door from the outside into it. Maybe I need a crash helmet!

I usually spend ten to fifteen minutes every night before bed straightening out. That certainly helps keep the clutter somewhat manageable.

I consider myself a "reformed perfectionist" and have worked very hard at it. I knew at an early age my OCD was not a good thing so began to deliberately make mistakes or at least not do things perfectly. May not be the same for others but I've found that positive affirmations work well for me in controlling anxiety-producing thoughts.

However, there are some things that make me more content with my life and that is to make sure the house is picked up, clean, and all laundry done before trips. So nice to come home to an almost perfect house. We have a cleaner every 2 weeks and I refrain from doing much in between (I do wipe out my bathroom sink and the counter regularly), make the bed every day altho sometimes wait til well after breakfast, and we both keep the kitchen in an acceptable state. Sometimes his paperwork, etc. builds up on the island but if it hangs around too long I just put it all in one of his dresser drawers and when he misses it I tell him where it is.

Fortunately my partner and I are both reasonably tidy about hanging up clothes altho we both leave books all over and the dog refuses to pick up her pillow when she kicks it off the chair onto the floor. Oh well, sometimes I pick it up and other times I ignore it for awhile.

At the moment there are several totes with seasonal decor in the sitting room just waiting for the tree to be put up sometime this week. I refuse to allow it to bother me. I believe we have choices in how we want to feel about things.

Pal, we must have posted at the same time. Your acquaintance had a grand idea. I just don't quite have the heart to do it. My poor DH loses so darn much that I think he has spent a good percentage of his life tracking down misplaced items. I don't get why the light bulb doesn't come on in his brain that a place for everything and everything in it's place would make his life so much easier! âºï¸Â

holly,
I am the exact same way, I get this surge of anxiety when I walk into a room and there is clutter everywhere.
I HAVE to put things away.
It's so much easier too, to clean up without the clutter all over the place.
How does one vacume with shoes and clothers and things all over the floor? How do you dust with things on every surface?
Oh well, and I'm a little claustrophic too, which is even worse.
I get anxious if I feel too closed in, and clutter can make you feel that way.
See, you aren't alone.
Clutter free is for me.
Now if I could just get my hubby to think that way....

YES! I cannot think if my home or my office is not neat. My secretary used to laugh at me because the boss she had before me had stacks and stacks of paper all over the place. It did not bother him one bit. I was his antithesis.

DH doesn't leave clothing laying around and he does his own laundry. But he simply doesn't see papers, remotes, papers, CORDS, magazines, papers, and papers, and papers...

I tell myself DH could be a neat freak like the husband of a woman who worked for me. Her husband was neat and a total jerk. I suspected him of abusing her. I gently inquired and she denied it, but I never believed her.

So, even though DH would never alphabetize the spices, or understand why I would, he has many other redeeming traits. I think I'll keep him. (Our 25th is in 3 weeks!)

ETA: DD's take on feng shui - All of the feng shui in the world cannot beat a clean, neat, well-organized house!

This post was edited by bbstx on Mon, Dec 1, 14 at 20:33

LOL! Y'all must live at our house! We both are guilty of walking past a coat closet and draping a coat over a dining room chair. Decent size house but really lacks useable storage/closets. (I converted one bedroom into a huge walk-in closet to hold our off-season stuff since our 2 BR closets were like 6" deep). We/I kinda move things from room to room as I declutter a room. Unfortunately *I* can't pass up a possibility of recycling/upcycling items which leads to being a borderline packrat. I am getting better though - I hide the stuff in the basement! Lol

Pal- hiding the item wouldn't work in our house. We're infamous for just going out and buying another one!

If you lost anything in my house growing up you did not get another one unless it was an absolute necessity for school or something.

This is probably the 12th time I've told this story here, but my parents' kitchen had The Bottle Opener. It was a shower present in 1954. Others occasionally came and went, we had a bar area in the basement that had it's own. There was one where the lawnmower was kept to open the additive.

But in the kitchen The Bottle Opener reigned supreme and was kept in a specific spot.

Around 2008, it was lost for the better part of a day and my parents were pretty furious. We looked all over the place, but it was pretty obvious that my sister who picks up things and carries them around and sets them God knows where had done this with the bottle opener.

I had a friend home and she said "This is ridiculous, I am going to Walmart and getting @#$% bottle opener. In fact I am getting SIX @#$% bottle openers.

I wouldn't let her. Because she probably has a dozen and doesn't care at all where Eleven of them are any of the time. It's only when she can't find the Twelfth that she bothers to look. I call her the one-woman landfill.

Define clutter. Seriously. I've seen kitchens with only a coffeemaker, a bottle of dish soap, and a decorative object on the counters described here as cluttered. Huh?

I think everyone has their own definition. There is stuff that *you* think belongs in one spot so it is clutter if it's in another. Then there is just way too much stuff clutter - and there are definitely different ideas of what is "too much".

luckygal , me too. Another reformed perfectionist. When my son was a baby and started to eat finger food (Cheerios, etc.) he had to have a damp washcloth to wipe his face after every bite. I realized I had ruined that sweet little child. I had to ease up for my firstborn's mental health.
When he started Kindergarten, he was usually dressed in a shirt and sweater in the winter. He insisted on tucking in not only his shirt, but also his sweater. Gads, either I did not ease up quickly enough, or he inherited my perfectionism. My daughter was born two years later and was a messy little tomboy. When I found a plastic bucket in her room with a book on top of it, I knew better than to look into it. She collected live pets and worms. Ugh! Moving on to the teen years---yup, my daughter was the neatnik and my son became the slob. Who knew? Maybe it all wasn't really my fault. Clutter? I love a clean house. Luckily, my husband does too and always helps to clean up. He does the laundry and washes dishes. It irritates me that he always has crumbs around his recliner. I only eat at the table. Mmm, reading back over this, he's a keeper. There is very rarely any clutter in our house. We could never hire a housekeeper because they would never live up to our standards. Okay, not completely reformed. ; )

To me, clutter is the equivalent of an indoor weed, or litter. It is something that just doesn't belong there! It is junk mail left on a countertop, a hair brush not put away (another DH speciality), shoes left beside a chair.

I think this picture from Google images pretty well explains it

"ETA: DD's take on feng shui - All of the feng shui in the world cannot beat a clean, neat, well-organized house!"

Interesting considering feng shui relies on clear uncluttered spaces in order to be effective.

A link that might be useful:
http://fengshui.about.com/od/clearyourcluttertips/ss/feng-shui-clutter-clearing-system-prepare.htm

Yes, it bothers me tremendously but doesn't phase DH. Grinding teeth...

(Sigh). No. Not even a little bit.

Carrie

This post was edited by carriem25 on Mon, Dec 1, 14 at 22:27

I think there is a midpoint between right and left above. The paired boxes are deadly dull, imo:

Clutter definitely makes me anxious! And I am not proud to admit that the endless cycle of picking things up and putting them away makes me irritated with my DH and 9 year old DS. They are not terrible and do help out, but our standards are very different. The jackets, shoes, hats, papers, electronic devices and chargers!! It seems that no matter what "system" I try to implement, they are everywhere! I like clean, cleared off surfaces...and they last about half a day.

My DH has an endless enormous stack of stuff in a corner of the kitchen counter. "The Pile" , as we call it, has his wallet, several sets of keys, bills, papers, work stuff, books, magazines, eyeglasses, eyeglass cleaner, hats, gloves, cords, chargers, and every type of assorted manly possession. It cannot be contained by any box, basket, filing system, or drawer known to mankind, and it has persisted through logical discussion, begging, and bribery. He goes through it a few times a year, usually when we're anticipating company. It cannot be conquered or relocated. I try not to look at it. Good thing he has other redeeming qualities!

I also find that our small house is easily overwhelmed by Christmas decor, and I am trying to keep it more minimal. As much as I enjoy decorating for the holidays (and my son loves it), it's always nice to put it all away in January and get that breathing room back.

Lol, palimpsest. I thought they might be speakers?

There are several things going on in bbstx's photo. Stuff in the form of too many photos (including the often used here "gallery" wall), stuff that doesn't belong in the form of things on the floor, and stuff that isn't "perfect" in the form of squashed pillow and crooked pictures. I don't like either photo.

Pal's has some needed open space on the sideboard (I agree that the boxes are boring) but I hate throw pillows on chairs.

I have a lot of stuff on my kitchen counters, but I don't consider it clutter as we use it, like the toaster oven, the can opener, the cylinder full of utensils, hot shot, etc. Clutter to me is stuff that has a place, but isn't in it.

We have only a few corners of clutter where they're supposed to go...like on the desk area in the kitchen with bills, catalogs and junk mail; like coats hanging on the hooks in the mud room that aren't hung up in the closet; like stacks of papers in the in box(s) on DH's desk. For the most part the clutter is kept at bay. Mainly because we both like the look of the rooms when they're neat and it does keep it less stressful. But we also designed in places for things to go. When we run out of room, that is not the sign to add more spaces, but the sign to clean out the existing ones.

To ellendi and others with a coat issue, I'd suggest a 2-point tackle...1) add coat hooks where it's convenient to the door so you don't have to open the coat closet to hang them up and 2) tip the dining chairs on their side for a few days after installing the coat hooks so they can't be used as an alternative to the hooks until the new habit is formed.

My gf lives in a 4 br colonial with the basement level garage, which only has room for 1 car as the other is full of stuff. Then you walk into the hallway which is very narrow as it's lined with stuff on both sides, past the laundry area which is stacked with unfolded laundry and around the corner to get to the stairs that go up. I never say anything, but every time we go through there, she makes a comment about needing to get to it, or about who's stuff it all is or whatever. I know it eats at her and stresses her out. She certainly doesn't need more stress in her life. I'd even offer to help her clean it up and organize it so the simple act of coming home doesn't cause her such fret, but I'm afraid she'd take it as criticism. Mind you, her adult son is living at home post college so is strong and capable of helping her with the heavy lifting. But somehow...an issue common to women?... she feels as if, as the mother, it's her responsibility and she doesn't enlist her children's help.

And that is really the point of reducing clutter...the simple act of coming home should be welcoming, not stress inducing.

Here is a link that might be useful: Why mess causes stress

Funny story about "DH Clutter." We have a section of built-in open bookshelves in the kitchen. Most of the shelves contain books or pottery, but DH and I each have a designated section of shelf (a narrow section, maybe 12" wide) with a basket that fits nicely in the spot. It's supposed to be for our random stuff. My "stuff" mostly fits INSIDE my basket. Maybe because I also have my own drawer around the corner, so I'm cheating a bit. But wait, he has his own shelf in the mudroom and I don't, so we're even. But I digress. DH's basket in his kitchen-shelf spot is ALWAYS overflowing. The basket is crammed full, and in front of it he piles his watches, lip balm, random post-it notes, business cards, gift cards, whatever. I clean out my basket about every 2-3 months. He MIGHT go thru his once a year. And here is how I know he doesn't even know what is in his basket -- maybe 3 months ago, I decided I would clean out his shelf area. I got halfway down into the basket and found a jewelry gift box. Of course I looked, and it was a pair of earrings I had asked for, probably before our anniversary last May. He bought them and totally forgot about them, and there they STILL sit. I didn't want to admit that I snooped, so they're still there, and I know he doesn't remember them. I think before Christmas I'm going to say, hey, DH, you know what I want for Christmas? Those earrings in your basket!

The best part is that I have been on the hunt for brushed-gold hoop earrings for months, and DD is aware of it, and she often asks me, with DH right there, if I have gotten my brushed gold hoops yet. I say nope...and even though the earrings in the box are, YES, brushed-gold hoops, DH doesn't react at all, because HE HAS NO IDEA he even bought them.

"When my son was a baby and started to eat finger food (Cheerios, etc.) he had to have a damp washcloth to wipe his face after every bite."

Haha, my daughter and I were chatting this weekend and I told her the reason there are no pictures of that classic one year old birthday party with the child sitting in a high chair sqashing cake and frosting all over him/herself and every surface within reach is because I just didn't have it in me to let either of my kids do that :). Truly, it was just TOO much to deliberately set out to smash food and make an enormouse sloppy mess everywhere.

Actually, even as my mellower older self, I still don't think I could do it.

Ann

It depends on what the clutter is and who left it. I'm more tolerant of my own clutter than my husband's. Unfair but true.

My husband has approximately 1 billion sports cards, a conservative estimate, that make me anxious whenever I come across their various storage spaces. I don't see them every day or even every month, but they aggravate me when I run across them. Neatly stored out of the way but they still pointlessly exist.

I'm more tolerant of clutter that is a project in progress and not cleaned up yet than routine, everyday, just put it away already stuff. To be honest and fair, I'm probably responsible for more of that then he is.

I'm pre-anxious, is that a thing?, about the stuff I will receive for Xmas that I don't want. It will feel like clutter to me. I can't seem to stem the tide on that stuff. Some of those things go right into the laundry room thrift store collection box so I will be able to donate it within a few weeks of when it enters the house, unwanted, unwelcomed, and unloved.

I LOATHE clutter! It makes me feel twitchy. My eyes need unfilled, unadorned areas to rest and appreciate what is there. My sweet mother in law seems bound and determined to "gift" me all of the items that she and FIL are decluttering from their lives! It is almost as though they feel guilty for wanting to get rid of Aunt Lola's punchbowl, so hey..."let's give it to son & DIL! They have so much room, and heck...the house looks 1/2 decorated anyway!" :) I finally, sweetly, told her that I can't keep taking everything, the attic of our brand new house was filling up w/stuff WE WILL NEVER USE!
Ugh! My tween dd seems to have hoarder tendencies, so now I catch MIL giving stuff to her! Oy Vey! First world problems, I suppose, but annoying nonetheless.

YES! I usually have a tolerance period of a few days before I feel compelled to tidy/pick up. If it doesn't happen I get very stressed. Doing the dishes and having everything in its place is definitely a zen sort of feeling and I feel like my balance is thrown off if its not.

I must confess that I am more tolerant of my own clutter than of DH's. I do confine my clutter to my home office and one drawer in the kitchen. I have paperwork that goes on my desk to be addressed but I have several piles of items that need to be done away with altogether. I am hoping that when I sell my current business and have time at home I will whittle away the clutter there too.