You are right and the others are wrong. When they looked at the arteries of the young men that died in Viet Nam they were stunned at the coronary artery disease. It doesn't matter AT ALL how much exercise a person gets , if they eat the way your step-son is eating he will increase his risk for heart disease and other maladies that are inherited as well as acquired.

As far as making someone eat well maybe you can talk to his coaches and have them then talk to him. It would actually be a very good idea to have the coaches do this to the whole team. A topic that needs to be up front with young people today for sure. When I see the calories listed for the "mega" sandwiches and meals at the fast food restaurants in this country I feel sick to my stomach.

On my bike ride I burned 4000 cal. a day. I never ever ate junk food. It wasn't that hard to get " good ' calories but it did take effort. Just because someone is this DOES NOT mean they are healthy and can eat whatever they want . It means they have a certain metabolism but that can and will change.

I sure hope you can enlist the help of others to get your very valid point across. More power to you and I am glad that you are sticking to your guns and offering good food in your own home. c

Thanks, Trailrunner. I appreciate the validation. I just don't want to be too strict or militant or unreasonable about this.

I have mentioned a few times to my husband that heart disease doesn't start at 50 or 60 - the foundations for it are laid in childhood. And patterns of eating behavior are formed in childhood, too.

As for talking to the coach, I've thought about it. However, the football coach probably isn't much of an ally - he routinely treats the kids with things like chicken wings when they do well or meet a challenge. But that doesn't mean I can't at least bring it up with him and speak with the other two coaches, as well.

Thanks again!

Kimberly,
here are a couple web sites for http://www.fitness.gov/nutrition.pdf

http://www.iahsaa.org/Sports_Medicine_Wellness/Nutrition/GSSI-Fueling_for_Football.pdf

this one is from a soccer club but still useful
http://www.visionsocceracademy.com/AssetFactory.aspx?vid=160

Katharina

Here is a link that might be useful: nutrition for teenage athletes

Sounds like your son could benefit from a consult with a nutritionist. That will definitely shed some light on exactly what damage he is heading for should he continue on the path of consuming whole pies and McDonald's.

That is really sad and making it worse is the positive attention he is getting from some of your family members.

Health insurance will pay for a consult, and if you don't have health insurance, I think you could find a reasonably priced practitioner. The consult will, however, be priceless.

You're right, they're wrong. Currently he's an active teenager, but fast forward when life gets in the way and he's no longer facing 2-a-days he'll be facing weight problems and the health problems that accompany them. Look at all of the ex-football players that end up on The Biggest Loser.

Your DH needs to get on board. Get the junk out of the house. Put out a fruit bowl. A hungry teenager will eat the good stuff if he's hungry and there isn't any junk around. Speaking of junk - how is a 15yo getting McDonalds for breakfast if he isn't being driven there? Egg white omelets are easy to make, filling, and can be filled with broccoli & cheese to make them kid friendly.

Good luck.

Teenage boys. They eat and eat and eat! lol.

Are you close enough with him to have a one on one talk? If so, get pen and paper, sit down with him and let him know that you don't mind the volume of food he eats, but you want to make sure he's getting some healthy food too.

Then ask him what his favorite veggies are, casseroles, fruits, etc. Ask if he likes baked sweet potatoes. Even salads taste great with a good low fat dressing.

Good luck!

You might try making food that you know that he likes and add in more veggies and other nutritious ingredients to the recipes. I haven't tried any of her recipes, but Jessica Seinfeld has several cookbooks, like Double Delicious that might help.

Here is a link that might be useful: Do It Delcious

Best o' luck to you. I think trying to instill sound nutrition guidelines in a 15 yr. old boy is like trying to teach a cat to sing. Anyway, the most important thing is that he get enough protein. Perhaps showing him some bodybuilder/pro athlete training sites might be helpful.

His metabolism will never be higher and he's burning off all those "junk" carbs, but of course, he can't eat this way forever.

But in general, I think trying to force this sort of stuff on anyone, much less a teenager, is pretty much a recipe for making sure they tune you out. Bringing up the health problems of your husband's family is also going to be a wedge.

Does his coach have dietary guidelines? I've linked to a triathlete blog, but of course, they love those carbs!

Here is a link that might be useful: The Athletic Performance Diet

I would make it an easy transition though.
Make mashed potatoes with chicken broth and less butter. Make turkey hamburgers and wraps with lots of black beans and less cheese. Have some caramel sauce to dip apples wedges into.
Make a pie with splenda and don't tell.
Have pretzels and baked chips instead of regular.
Make some hummus and pita chips.

If all you have in the house is fruit bowls, he'll go somewhere else for snacks.

Thanks, everyone, for your comments, suggestions and web sites. You helped me know I'm on the right track, so I'll keep plugging away.

Unfortunately, most of the foods suggested, such as black beans, hummus, egg white omelets, broccoli, pretzels, etc. are all foods my husband and I will eat, but my step son won't touch.

I like the idea of consulting a nutritionist - that way an unbiased party can assess our situation and make suggestions directly to my step-son so that he knows what to eat for athletic performance.

I appreciate your help!

On this question, my opinion is: you are right. And you are wrong.

Of course you are right that what your stepson is eating isn't a very healthy diet. And you are right that early habits and intake can have lifelong consequences.

However, I think you are probably wrong to believe that there is a way you are going to be able to change his *preferences* and thus bring him to a realization that he wants to and will choose to eat in a more healthy fashion. Why? Because first of all as others have pointed out this is a 15-year old boy. I've had one, who is now a 21-year old young man. Many (not all but maybe the majority) inhale food, they love what tastes good which is generally fatty/salty/greasy and they do not have any intention or desire to switch to what a parent or perhaps most importantly a step-parent thinks is best.

Which brings me to the other point: this is a step child. Of course I don't know the individual dynamics of your family but your original post makes it clear that your family of marriage--and his blood relations--do not support your desire or efforts to change your stepson's nutritional patterns. If even your *husband* isn't on board, I just don't see that you are going to get anywhere with your efforts.

Is there a way to help him eat better? I think you can try cooking in a more healthy way, as has also been suggested. You can keep trying to introduce him to 'better' foods, though I suspect that isn't going to be a huge success. But I think this option:

"I like the idea of consulting a nutritionist - that way an unbiased party can assess our situation and make suggestions directly to my step-son so that he knows what to eat for athletic performance"

...is only going to turn you into the buttinsky stepmother. Guaranteed, your stepson (and probably your husband) is not going to see this as 'unbiased'. They are probably going to be irritated with you and again, not likely to go along.

Guess I'm being the skunk at the picnic but I suspect this really isn't going to be solved with logic. It's going to take some serious relationship-dynamic work between (most important) you and your husband, then you and your stepson and finally you and your inlaws.

Ann

Thanks, Ann, for your thoughts. I agree - I definitely don't want to be the buttinsky stepmother! But as the one responsible for the food in the house, I am just trying to "get it right" and at least attempt to instill some appreciation for or knowledge of decent nutrition.

As for speaking with a nutritionist, my thought had been to suggest it so that *I* know how to feed a growing boy, not to use it as an "I told you so" opportunity. But no matter how I present it, chances are it will be seen as a negative thing, at least by my step-son.

I do make pretty healthy meals and I make sure to include things my step-son likes to eat. I do serve at least two veggies and fruit at every meal, and we sometimes eat non-meat meals, although step-son lets me know he doesn't appreciate meals without meat. ;) I cook a lot and know where I can cut corners and do so when it makes sense. But I also don't want to be so stingy on calories that I short change a growing boy. That is part of my challenge.

Regarding relationship-dynamics, I'm working on that with DH and step-son, however, not the inlaws. We're friendly and they're nice folks, but MIL knows what she knows and won't be convinced otherwise. I've learned it's not worth my blood pressure or time to educate or convince her of something because she can't be swayed. If having weight loss surgery didn't convince her of the need to eat right, nothing will. On top of that, DH and step-son have both asked her to stop giving step-son junk food "to go" every time she sees him (she gives him cans of ravioli, boxes of Little Debbie cakes, bags of candy, etc. to take home because she knows I don't buy that kind of stuff), but she won't stop buying him junk.

The bottom line here is I can only do so much. I will continue to make healthy meals, stock the fruit bowl and be a role model for healthy eating habits. But I'm not going to nag or keep bringing this up, as it'll get me nowhere and quite possibly make things difficult amongst us.

Despite this particular problem area, step-son and I actually have a pretty good relationship. He's a good kid, hard worker and straight A student. I guess I just feel more pressure than your average step-mom because he lives with us full time - he eats with us every night, not just on the weekends.

Kimberly

Okay I have two words - Food Network. I've noticed that even teenage boys appreciate some good "food porn" on Food Network. Maybe shows that feature chefs like Bobby Flay that specialize in grilling meat, and also include vegetables in their meals would appeal to him. My son loved to try out new recipes at that age based on things he saw on the Food Network. And he was also a jock, playing varsity basketball and running track.

I don't have a teen-age son to test it out on, but terriks, I love your suggestion!

Gosh, you could be writing about my nephews! My SIL only cooks white...chicken, corn, mashed potatoes, bread. Pizza is cheese or taco flavored only. Salad (if ever) consists of iceberg with ranch dressing. I've only once seen green beans and my brother ate that.

She has a conniption about my kids being vegetarian!!

My youngest nephew is very heavy, and I know he's eaten veggies, he got yelled at for eating my carrots (that I'd offered him!!)but his mom doesn't feed her kids anything she doesn't like. His brother was a portly kid who has now developed an eating disorder. He plays sports but won't eat enough to sustain him. He's lost all his weight and makes comments about 'now that I've lost the baby weight, I have to keep my weight down'. But he still eats junk...just a lot less. I worry that his sports performance will be affected (not to mention his eating disorder and body image).

I definitely think you should look into the sports nutrition. Obviously your in-laws equate food with love...maybe as your SS gets older he'll realize that he can just pitch the Little Debbies when out of Granny sight.