My daughter has been legally blind since birth.
We all have different personalities to deal with such. She is very outgoing and nothing stops her. It is amazing how many friends she has had for years. None are blind. Sometimes I forget about her vision.

School was very difficult for her, the ole' buddy system and those who like to make jokes of anyone different. She joined a lot of sports activities for the blind. And also had transitioning programs for the activities you mention. Success on her own became success in the seeing world.

There are programs at Schools for the Blind which help teach this. As her mother I was surprised at the amount of information and skills taught that I would never have thought of. Your grand daughter wants seeing friends now and it can happen as she does more socially. Joining groups at school of interest is really important. Like minds do not need a seeing environment. She would most likely make friends with sighted people through them.

An interesting question. My DH and his brother are both albinos and are legally blind. They are 10 months apart...Irish Twins :) They are the 2 oldest children of 4.

My DH's parents didn't treat them as if they were different. Believe me 64 yrs ago they were really noticed in a small southern town. Their parents were in Meridian MS for 1st and 2nd grade. Their Dad then changed jobs so the boys could be in a special classroom in Memphis TN. It was essentially a one room classroom and they learned at their own pace. It helped that DH and his brother are very very bright so they were able to really take advantage of this class. They left after 5th grade.

They were in New Orleans from 6th grade on thru HS. Both were in Catholic schools . They were always lucky to be in learning situations that allowed them to thrive and had small classrooms. They were never in Special Ed of any sort.

Neither of them has ever let not seeing well be a hindrance. My DH and his brother used to play catch with a huge softball. They would throw it and it would hit the other one...or not... and they would run and get it and throw it wildly back. They loved it and tell this story with great fondness. They both rode bikes and assumed that nothing would happen. Pretty much nothing ever did till DH was much older. DH had a paper route on his bike. in NOLA, for years and years to earn money.

Our kids are all sighted. None inherited the albinism as it needs to be on both sides of the family. To this day , they are 29,34 and 36, their Dad will ask them a question and they will answer by nodding or shaking their heads....Dad will say " I can't see you LOL" and then they will verbally answer. He has never acted as though he couldn't see and they have never treated him as though he couldn't.

I have always done the driving. We ride bikes together. I am hyper-aware of all that is going on around us as he has had a couple bad wrecks due to idiots in their cars...not one of the accidents was his fault.

He has a Phd in Theoretical Chemistry, retired now. He is a jazz piano player and has had solo and group gigs since he was a teen. He put himself through HS and college as a bartender at Bart's in NOLA.

He has a 4" focal length and has a special jeweler's loop that he wears for reading. He has a special computer screen that is BIG that he uses. He holds things really close and squints and manages to see WAY more than anyone would ever believe.

When you can't see your other senses take over. His ability in music is a reflection of that. He loves to read and can sit quietly for hours and hours. He is able to entertain himself better than anyone I know. I think all of that is due to the inability to see like others.

His brother and I were in music school together at Loyola U in NOLA. His brother is a professional organist and choral director. He takes cabs and buses and subways and air planes just as DH does. He travels everywhere..just got back from Nashville on a music thing. He composes and is very very talented. He writes pieces for his church all the time. He has orchestras to direct and choruses and nothing stops him. if you were to ask him how he does all this he would think you were crazy...he just does. His sight is much worse even than DH's as he has some other problems.

I hope your granddaughter has great success at her new school. My DH's advice , he is sitting here beside me now, is to start as you mean to go on. Don't think you can't...know you can. There is no difference between you and anyone else. In fact you have a gift. Use it...be aware of the things you can "see" that other's can't. She won't be a heart surgeon or an astronaut or lots of other things but she can be so much more. c

Trailrunner, both you and your husband's words of wisdom nearly brought me to tears. Well said.

we are raising a puppy for a guide dog organization who will hopefully some day be the eyes/companion for a sight impaired person. it is amazing what these dogs learn and how they are able to give independence to the impaired!!!

i remember reading 'gift of gold' and 'light a single candle' when i was a teen which were about a teenaged girl who was blind and her guide dog trudy---at that time-years ago- i remember these books as being inspiring!

I had a friend in college who was blind. She was outgoing and willing to be friendly, which always helps, of course. She didn't expect sighted students to know how to treat her/help her/interact with her; she kindly, quietly, matter-of-factly explained. From the moment I met her, she helped me not to feel awkward (extremely important for any young person). Very soon, her blindness was just one aspect of her personality; We got down to the important things like boyfriends and music and our boring, Western Civ instructor.

Trailrunner, my daughter is also Albino, 49 and has worked since she was 18. It sounds like your DH has the GO personality as she does. We do everything together and never a problem, she won't let things be a problem. Which is why I forget at times she isn't seeing what I do. One of the things we do when out and about...wear bright tops so both of us can find each other.

Your stories are touching. I recently thought about this because there is a couple who lives not too far away who are both blind. They have their lives set up so that they do not have to depend on anyone for help. They live close to stores and can walk most places. Unfortunately, the big grocery store was torn down and another will be built in it's place. They relied on this store for most of their shopping. Now they must count on others to help them with their food shopping until the new store opens.

Peaceofmind, I wish your granddaughter the best of luck at her new school. I went to high school with two blind kids and both went on to be quite successful in life. The one girl was especially popular because she had a guide dog and we all loved the dog.

I have an Uncle and Aunt who raised two children, held jobs, traveled, enjoyed music, family and friends. My Aunt in now deceased, but my Uncle still gets out to concerts and enjoys life.

As kids, we were always fascinated with their Braille books when we visited.

My dm now and again wears this silly sweatshirt my Uncle gave her. On the chest is a phrase in Braille (don't remember what it says). Us kids are like "um...mom, do you really want someone to try and "read" that?" lol!

Others here are giving you more practical advice regarding programs and such, but just wanted to share my Uncle's and Aunt's experience and let you know I wish your dd much success!

I agree, dedtired, the stories in this thread are touching. Peaceofmind, I'm sorry your granddaughter is having trouble right now, and I wish you both the best.

As usual, especially of late, this forum is simply the best place to be....I really enjoy opening these threads. I get back WAY more than I contribute. Thank you. c

Thanks so much for your replies and best wishes for my gd. You all were so nice to share your stories. It really helped my dh and I to put things in perspective. We realized gd was causing some of her own problems by her attitude. She isn't terribly outgoing unless she is with people who know her well. Her facial expression is sort of haughty, and she is quick to judge people. If they are friendly to her she assumes there is something wrong with them. I don't make her sound so wonderful, do I? We have been looking at her through the eyes of love and not seeing the ways that she was putting people off.
I have decided that many of her problems are just typical of girls her age. By the time she's twenty five she'll be fine. That is my hope.
She is seeing a therapist who is trying to help her seem more accessible. The therapist told her that her eyes roll around and flutter and perhaps she should try wearing glasses with a tint so that people wouldn't be distracted by not being able to make eye contact. She thought this was a terrible idea and said she would try it because she wanted to try anything and everything so she would be able to say she had tried. I told her that when I picked her up from school one day last week that she didn't look like she wanted to talk to the other kids waiting outside the school. She didn't like that either. I'm fairly blunt with her because she is a blunt person herself but she doesn't accept criticism very well. She has strong opinions and will argue with anyone. She says she likes me because I also have strong opinions but I don't stop liking a person who disagrees with me. She calls me several times a week just to talk and I will call her also. She also talks often to my dh and seems to listen to him better than anyone else.
Many of you mentioned your loved one had some vision. That is a really big deal as far as quality of life goes. Gd attended the Missouri school for her sophomore year. It was a great experience for her in many ways. Her mom was really reluctant to let her go there but she seemed to do well. The academics were not challenging to her. That is probably why she didn't go back. She made a friend there who had gone to school there from first grade. He was a senior last year and was president of the state AND national Beta Club. He is a great kid with some vision and great people skills. Unfortunately, his education didn't prepare him for life on his own. He is from a splintered family who are unable to offer support.
And yes, you are right, this is a great place to get moral support and advice. My husband really rolled his eyes when I told him I'd written to a forum on Home Decorating to get some advice. After he read your responses he agreed that you are an exceptionally kind and insightful group of people.

I have decided that many of her problems are just typical of girls her age. By the time she's twenty five she'll be fine. That is my hope.

Sorry to chime in so late.

DH has retinopathy of prematurity (ROP), nystagmus, and had heart surgery at 5 or 6. It's amazing that he lived, much less that he functions so well. He has light perception in one eye and can see vague shapes up to a few feet in the other. He can also read enlarged text with a 12x magnifier, but it gives him headaches. He is a braille reader. That's not a given for blind people. Most people never had the tactile sensitivity in the first place. Most braille readers (as opposed to decoders) learned as children. His main compensatory skills are hearing and amazing spatial awareness. It doesn't hurt that he's naturally athletic.

Please don't underestimate how hard it is to be blind. Even before the economy tanked, employment was tough. Only about 30% of blind people were employed and many of those worked in sheltered workshops. DH has been a B/VI teacher for more than 20 years. It pays well for teaching job, because of his education (Masters+60), seniority, and difficulty of the job (itinerant teacher who serves 40+ blind/visually impaired students distributed among 16 to 20 schools each year). We know a couple of professors and a few other people with jobs that sighted people would consider desirable, but we know far more who make ends meet by a combination of low-wage jobs and SSI for disability. A couple of the people in the former group had good educational experiences prior to college. Most, including DH, did not. Only the professor who is a Harvard grad would test extremely high on a traditional IQ test. What they all have in common is extraordinary determination and the ability to self-advocate.

Sadly, people do make all kinds of judgments based on eyes and faces. Nystagmus (involuntary eye movement) can be interpreted as "goofing around" or as low mental functioning. Sometimes it gets old. Food server: "What does he want?" Me: "I don't know. Why don't you ask him?" (I want to say, "he's blind not stupid."). Sometimes it's funny: The hairdresser who acted like a toddler had escaped when he left and went to the bank while she finished my hair.

His spatial ability is nothing short of amazing, so people forget that he's blind. His mother and sister still try to show him photographs. "Oh, but you can't see this can you?" "Umm, not really." Two people have thrown things and hit him in the head because "they forgot." Both should have known better. One was a sighted B/VI teacher and the other was a sighted coach of a beep baseball team! On the other hand, this is a man who does make the occasional birdie playing golf ...

Some things we've noticed:

People aren't working with blind kids to help them with personal presentation. That means everything from grooming to learning to "look at" (turn head and eyes toward) people during conversation. Personally, I don't know that I'd go the tinted glasses route unless it really appeals to your GD. She should be prepared for Stevie Wonder jokes, if she does. I'd actively work with her on softening her facial expression, and learning to laugh at the absurdities. Yes, I know that's much easier said than done.

Few younger blind people know where they are in space. They need to get outside more in all kinds of weather and practice walking and listening. Sports help. DH did Olympic style weightlifting until he torn his shoulder in a fall on ice outside a school a few winters ago. It's a great sport for learning where you are - balance and moving your knees and feet. It builds self-confidence. Unlike body building, it doesn't make a woman look masculine. There's beep baseball - softball for blind people. I've also taught yoga to blind people.

Lastly, attitude matters greatly. I doubt that a week goes by that there isn't someone I'd like to shake until they rattle. Fortunately, DH is much more easy-going about it than I am. That and a sense of humor are huge assets.

Yoga, great post. There is so much to share regarding our common experiences. My daughter has worked at the Deaf and Blind school since she was 22. She was also a student during her last 2 years of high school. I never underestimate these "kids". The blind and deaf would go to movies together. Blind would sign telling deaf what was being said and deaf would sign telling blind what was being seen. She learned sign language fluently which helped getting her job.

Part of her job is transitioning into the real world. Most of the students are from families not able to help their kids. Many with difficult childhoods which need attention to in other areas of support.

Peace...you may be right about the teenage years too. It is great she is getting support out side of family and your caring is beyond. All those teen issues...hair, clothes, what do I look like, where do I fit. Additions to the place she is in. My hope is she will find a special interest or group to grow with.

I just went to a Goal Ball day at the school. Special day between parents, staff and students. Fun to meet daughter's teen kids and others. In the past years there is always full sighted players among the blind. They all wear blinders while playing. I'm amazed at the lack of fear...they also have a huge climbing wall.

Did anyone see the show where teams of 3 went on challenges? One team had a totally blind hiker who is from my state and takes the blind on major mountain climbs.

Sometimes I think my deal in life needs an adjustment compared to others making their way with disabilities.