In my experience, no. My 26 year old DD is a brilliant girl who already has a fabulous job and is earning another degree at the same time... She manages to juggle these things while living in one state and working four days a week across country,,,,she is supremely organized, with lists of six month, year, and five year goals, reading lists, travel bucket list, etc. And she is a slob. I am resigned to that. When she visits us she takes two bedrooms and thirty minutes after her arrival it looks as though a clothing shop and bookstore exploded together. I am already meditating in practice for our trip to Prague in September.!

They may or may not become neater at different junctions in their lives: college, first apartment, marriage. My brother was a SLOB. Now he is a neatnik, like beyond neat. LOL. Both my sons have gone through messy stages, but for the most part they are organized and neat. Like you, I fear my daughter will be a mess forever. She is brilliant, but her mind is not naturally organized. I have learned to keep the door closed. I have told her when she goes off to college, her room at home with be left neat, tidy and clean or I will purge it (something she does not want!). My daughter is also ADD and has developed organizational skills in every part of her school life, just not at home! Oh well. I still love her. I just tell her that when she is an adult I will send her money for a cleaning team to come a day before I arrive for a visit. That way I can pretend she is clean and tidy! LOL!

When I was a teenager, my mom nagged me all the time about what a slob I was. She would say, "I can't wait until you're grown up and I get to see your nasty house!" Of course I would just roll my eyes and throw something on the floor . . .

My room was such a mess I would get overwhelmed and wouldn't even know how to start. Mom's cleaning mantra was "Everything has it's place" but I had no idea what that meant. Well, I'm all grown up now and I run a pretty neat and tidy household. I swear, to this day, my mom's words, "Everything has it's place," ring in my ears!

On the other hand, I was never a nagger with my son and I really wish I had been. His apartment is appalling. He even cleans it up before I come over! On the other hand, he has really excelled at work and going into management training after a 1 1/2 years of landing a job after college. Hopefully, he will eventually make enough money that he can hire a cleaning crew!

I sure hope so. My oldest son is a slob. My middle son can be neat if made to be, and my youngest, a daughter is messy, but likes to be able to find her things so there's hope. My oldest moves out in a few weeks for college. He is sharing a house with 3 other guys. I know he won't be neat, but I am looking forward to him experiencing what it will be like to either live with other really messy people or have others nag at him about his messes. We will see.

Not until they have their own places! ;)

Hard to say, my eldest, who will be 30 in a week, is a terrible slob. She used to be mixed, her room would be nice and neat and organized one day-a mess the next. She does not keep her place neat now at all-in fact, I've gone to visit and have to resist the urge to pick up.

DD2 was a terrible slob as a kid-she'd set up shop anywhere she went, and it'd get bigger & bigger. Now she's a mixed bag-overall her home is neat as a pin, but most of the time it'd take just a few minutes to spiff up-I'd say normal, lived in.

DS will not make his bed. Period. Or hang up his clothing, but overall he's a very neat kid. He has 3 roommates and it makes him nuts because 2 are complete slobs. When he lived with his GF, HE was the one who cleaned their home-it wasn't just a mess, but filthy at times so he spent his days off scrubbing.

I was really terrible...until I had my own place. Then, the decorating gene kicked in and overtime, I became Martha Stewartish. It made my mother so happy.

There was also a learning curve, I just did not know certain things about how to clean or for that matter really, how to look and observe cleanliness. I had never cleaned a toilet before :-( or washed my own clothes. I had done lots of other stuff though!

***Will my teenagers ever stop being total slobs?***

Not likely while they're teens!! It will happen when/if their surroundings become important to some facet of their life or their self image. I was a relative slob at home but once I hit college, I didn't want that image or reputation. But as Bumble said, there is a learning curve and that just takes time unless someone is born with that cleaning/organizing gene. At first I focused a lot on superficial things, so there was the overall appearance of *pretty* and things in their place. But you could write your name in those places and the dust bunnies had little villages set up! Messy is one thing, dirty is another. But neither is high on the radar of most teens I've known.

Best to practice learning not to stress about what you can't change! By ages 16 and 19 your teaching days are mostly over and they will be the way they want to be.

I have 3 kids all taught responsibility, cleanliness, how manage ADL's, etc., etc. They each had specific household jobs growing up and DH supervised them after I returned to work full-time. They all did their chosen jobs without much fuss. The untidiness in their rooms was solved by closing doors! Now in their late 30's/early 40's they are each very different. One has a lovely clean and tidy home which is always presentable, another cleans up before I visit, and the 3rd lives in an environment I consider almost unhealthy and doesn't care what anyone thinks. Both DH and I did our best so I take no responsibility or blame for their choices. I take pleasure in that they are all contributing members of society, don't use drugs, and 2 out of 3 are always pleasant adults I love spending time with.

Perhaps ease up on the threats and make it clear you will inspect weekly to remove garbage from their rooms. Without going into details that is one thing I recall with my most untidy child and was essential for the cleanliness of our home. Untidy is one thing, old garbage left for too long is unhealthy. Check under beds! *rolleyes*

Depends. From my experience, there are two types of sloppiness... one caused by being disorganized, and one by just being a lazy, slobby person. My husband is a perfect example of the former. He will cram something into any space at all... no organization skills whatsoever. His dresser drawers have various and sundry items just wadded up and stuffed in anywhere. No designated "underwear" drawer, "sock drawer", etc. I cannot tell you how many times at the beginning of our marriage I got to the point where I couldn't stand it, sorted it all out, organized it, and even labeled the drawers - only to have it look exactly as it did before, just a week later. I have since given up on that. His workbench in the garage is no better. I buy him various organizing items, which he refuses to use. Everything is just heaped into a big pile on the table there. If he can't find what he wants (wonder why?!), he simply goes out and buys a replacement item! So, we probably have at least 10 hammers in this house - can I find even one? No! (Finally decided I would buy my own set of tools - in hot pink -so he hopefully won't abscond with those and lose them, too!). And we won't even get into his inability to shut a cabinet or appliance door - let's just say I have bruises top to bottom thanks to his lack of consideration in that department!

Now.... if you think this guy is just a natural slob or that his family must have set a poor example for him when he was a kid - you'd be wrong. His mom is a total neat freak (even irons underwear and waxes the sink!) and he and his siblings were required to help clean the house top to bottom every single Saturday for 5 hours as a child - and to iron all of their own clothes, too - which he still cheerfully does - (mine, too, on occasion, lucky me!) - although why, I'll never know, when he then just stuffs them willy-nilly into any drawer! He CAN be organized in certain areas of his life if it is required, but it definitely does NOT come naturally to him in the home front! Thankfully, work is another story. Case in point - he managed to make it through 23 years in the military with no problems at all!

SO... my point is that there is always hope for your child, but I'm thinking most of one's ability to accept a mess is just something they are born with. Also remember - everyone has different "tipping points", too. To some, a filthy bathtub is the final straw. To others, it's a disgusting fridge. Still others draw the line at disorganized closets or dirty dishes all over the house. I learned this way back in college when I had 3 different roommates all with different cleanliness requirements! Thankfully, these areas can be tweaked to a certain degree - and there ARE certain motivators out there that can help improve the situation, too -even temporarily... - wanting to impress a member of the opposite sex (at least when in the dating stage!) being one of them!

Luckygal, I like your attitude and your perspective. My husband and I are tidy and organized. We both sometimes hold on to stuff but it's always neatly arranged and the house stays in order. My kids' rooms...not so much.

My son and daughter are young adults: he is 24 YO, she is 21. Son is mostly living in his own place-govt provided housing in which he is required to reside as part of his job during the work week. So he is only occasionally 'home' in his room. Daughter is attending college; she will be a senior next year and hopefully moving out after she graduates.

I left their rooms alone once they got to be teenagers UNTIL now. After much, much reminding and nagging I finally got fed up. I took it upon myself to declutter/toss garbage. My daughter's room was more dirty than untidy so I sorted and tossed but mostly cleaned. My son's room was badbadbad-it looked like a Hoarder's outtake. It was so bad that I broke a rule about discarding materials and took many bags of garbage to the trash station.

Daughter was pleased (what a princess) and son was furious. But I had been asking/telling/begging him to clean up his room for literally over a year. Since he didn't do it, I invoked my parental mantra: your room, *MY HOUSE*.

My goal is to have both rooms ready for the housekeeper to add to the cleaning rotation on her biweekly visits. I've not asked her to do either room because things were so messy and chaotic that she probably couldn't even have done any cleaning anyway.

I am not all that concerned with how they will maintain their own living spaces... more just wishing they would go GET their own living spaces a lot sooner than it seems will be happening!

Ann

My room as a teenager was so messy that my father threatened me with sanctions if I did not clean it up. The reason it was messy was because I was rarely home. I took more than a full load at school, worked every evening and was active in school-related activities.

As an adult, my home stays tidy most of the time except for the home office which is the room that is used for ongoing projects and the drop point for items that have yet to find their permanent home. Having one room that is always messy makes all of the other neat rooms possible. I have to watch myself, though, or the mess in the home office will get out of control.

No. lol As long as she's in your home she'll be a slob but, when she gets her own place she may be in the group that changes. Here's hoping.