The following is a journal entry that I wrote today. I couldn't wait to get home to put it all into words. I wanted to share it with believers.

December 8, 2005

I received another gift from God today and couldnt wait to get home to put it in writing. What I will share with you could be debatable to some people as to whether it is merely coincidence or a major sign from God. I like to believe it is from God.

After we lost Christin, I had many signs. Some were truly significant and others were small, but meaningful to me.

I will tell you of a couple of them. About a month after Christin left this world, a friend of mineÂs son was in the military and based in Germany. His wife was very sick and my friend, Lauren was there to help her son and his wife. One evening, she was walking on a path on top of a mountain near where her son lived. It was late evening and the sun rays were shining through the trees. Lauren was praying intently for God to help her daughter in law get better. Suddenly, she felt a great sense of peace and knew that everything would be alright. At that moment, she looked to the left of the path in front of her and there was a fawn that crossed her path and went to her left. As she followed him, she saw Christin. The fawn ran behind where Christin was. Christin smiled at her with her usual beautiful smile and said, "Everything is going to be alright and tell everyone that IÂm alright". She then disappeared. Lauren was astonished and fell to her knees sobbing. The next day she went to the hospital and was told that her daughter in law was much better and would be released from the hospital soon. It took Lauren several months to tell us what had happened to her since she didnÂt know how we would take it. As she told us the story, tears streamed down her face. I had no doubts that what she told us was true.

Since LaurenÂs son Jacob, was in the military and she stated that the incident strengthened her faith, I have often wondered if maybe Lauren would lose Jacob and this was meant for her also to get her through it. I also knew that God used Lauren to help us. Hold these thoughtsÂÂÂÂ

Another incident that happened was on my first birthday after we lost Christin, I really wanted to go to Conyers, Georgia where there had been reported apparitions of the Blessed Mother. That morning as I awoke here in Watson, I told God that I knew that if he wanted to give me a sign from Christin, I could get it right here in my little town. I went to the cemetery and was fixing ChristinÂs flowers. I told her that if she was happy in heaven, I wanted to see a beautiful monarch butterfly just like the one that was flying over her grave the day she was buried. The second that I told her this and took my hands off of her flowers, a monarch butterfly lit on her flowers. To me, this was a sign from Chris and God and a wonderful birthday present.

This morning, I was walking near the entrance of Hobby Lobby to go look for a mat to put a portrait that someone had done of Christin. As I approached the door, there was a man trying to enter, but he had a large frame and a large carrying case and couldnÂt open the door. I told him I would open it for him. I opened both doors for him and we both entered. I continued to walk behind him since we were both going to the art section in the back of the store. I began looking at mats and he asked me if I would like to see his work. Of course, I gladly said that I would. He told me that he was searching for someone to make prints of his art work for him for a reasonable price. Just yesterday, I was thinking the same thing. The first thing he took out of his case was a beautiful portrait of Jesus on the cross. It was so beautiful. The next thing he took out was art work portraying a beautiful fawn looking face to face with a monarch butterfly which was on some broken wood as would happen if a tree was cut down or broken. (Christin was near a tree stump on the mountain). I couldnÂt take my eyes off of that art work. I told this gentleman the significance of the fawn and butterfly and told him what happened to Christin. At the end of our conversation, we shook hands and he held my hand, looked me in the eye, and told me that everything would be alright. He told me he would call me to let me know what he finds out about a price for making prints of my paintings.

I left the store very thankful that God had given me another sign and that the simple good deed of me opening the door for this man, led me to another realization that God is with us always and continues to speak to us if we just listen. I even wondered if this man could have been Jesus in disguise.

I proceeded to go pick up my dad for lunch. After we sat down to eat, my cell phone rang and it was Wayne (my husband), calling to tell me that LaurenÂs son, Darren, was killed last night.

Maybe my intuitions were correct and God really was trying to prepare Lauren for this dreadful journey that she is just beginning.

God is good, and even though he allows suffering and death in this world so that we can learn and become more like him, he is holding our hands the whole time. We need to always keep our eyes and ears open because he is there for us.

Lulie Cosby