My Nephew

20 years ago

My nephew was killed this morning by a drunk driver. He was only 20 yrs old. Why did the driver survive and my nephew who was walking to his campsite get killed?? My heart is breaking right now.

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Comments (4)

alisande
20 years ago
I have learned that asking "why" is just as useless as thinking about "what if..."

After my daughter Jill died, I said something to a friend about the unfairness of the world, and he quote a poet: "The world is neither fair nor unfair. It just is." I think that's very true.

My sympathy goes out to you and your family.

Susan
socks
20 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear of this terrible tragedy in your family. My heart just aches for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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The best thing you can do is listen to your sister talk--remembering Christopher, sharing her feelings, whatever she wants to talk about. Let her talk, and let her cry. Cry with her. And just because he wasn't your son doesn't mean your powerful grief is invalid. You should express to her your own anguish even tho' he was not your own son. Dotti, you are in the earliest most horrible stages of grief and shock, but after things settle down a bit, try to do some things to lift your and your sister's spirits. Walk around the block, take in a movie, go to your nephew's favorite restaurant, visit friends, take a short trip, even if for a day, etc. As for your health, please take great care to take your meds appropriately, and if you suspect they are not working properly, check with your dr. to see about any changes and adjustments. You want to keep yourself together now as much as possible. I'm so sorry for this tragic loss. My heart aches for you and your sister. Take care. Susan
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This is just so sad.. life is so hard to understand sometimes. This made me think. Why is it that it seem some people are more prone to get this horrible disease than others? It makes you wonder, ya know? Some people go their whole lives with no cancer.. yet, some... get it over and over again. And Alan, being 24.. ?? I feel sooooo bad for him and you.. and all of your family right now. I cannot imagine how he feels. I'm sending lots and lots of prayers and hugs. You have all been on my mind constantly. After hearing how much help the Hospice was for so many people in the posts above, I'm seriously considering calling the Hospice where I live to see about volunteering. I think it's time for me to give back, ya know? I haven't needed medical help, but I've been blessed to be the recipient of alot of other help.. and it's time to return it. Please take care and keep us all informed, k?
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sheebah
20 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I agree with Susan about that quote, I have asked myself those questions over and over and it doesn't get me anywhere, my 23 year old daughter died 5 weeks ago, we don't know why she died ( toxocology pending) we may never find out.
My very sincere sympathy to you and your family.
Martha
Kristeen
20 years ago
IMO, when someone dies long before their time, it's because their soul was just too good for this world and they had better work to do wherever it is that we go after this.

I know that doesn't always make the people left behind feel any better, but I guess it's my way of trying to make it at least acceptable in a world where some people only get a few days, months or years, and some people who kill others drunk driving (or any other way) get to get up and walk away and sometimes go about life for several more years. Right now, for whatever reasons we all have, we're just not good enough to go yet.

This is just my own personal way of getting through things like this though. I'm not trying to give a sermon or make it sound like the drunk driver isn't a bad person who doesn't deserve any punishment, or that you should automatically forgive him because it was just 'fate'. It's just my way of comforting myself. This is why I shy away from internet forums usually-it's just so hard to convey what one means sometimes.

I am sorry for you and your family's loss, and for everyone else's here. I can't imagine the pain some of the people on this forum are going through. Some of the things I read here just make me so sad for all of you. However little (or no) comfort it is, you do all make me really think about and appreciate my own children/husband/family.

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My Nephew

Comments (4)

alisande

socks

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sheebah

Kristeen

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