I would buy 2 gifts, one for each baby. As far as the clothes line...maybe 2 wash cloths or 2 undershirts or 2 prs of socks...nothing too costly.

I'd skip the wishing well thing.

I spend anywhere from $40 to $60 on shower gifts but I'm never invited to showers for girls I don't know well. I'm generally very good friends with, or a cousin to, the future grandmom or I'm an aunt to the mom to be.

Hmm.. so what's the wishing well thing for? Money?
All the extra requested gifts in addition to a gift really rubs me the wrong way. I'm hearing and seeing it's the "in" thing to do now for showers.

So far I've only spent $25 on a shower gift. That said, I've never been to a shower for someone I was close to so that amount would go up depending. I'd go with clothing and still stick with my $25 even though it's twins. I'd probably skip out on the extra gift if you're not close with the person.

If I'm not close with the person and receive an invition, IMO, it's to get gifts.

I usually spend $40-60 and if I have time, I will crochet a blanket (Haven't had much time lately)

I also will throw a bib or pacifiers or some small gift in the wishing well.

With twins, I agree that you should buy a gift for each baby but that's just my opinion.

My niece has twins. I bought her a special breast feeding pillow, designed for twins. That pillow saved her life. She nursed both of them and they could both eat at the same time with that. It wasn't on her registry but now she says it saved her life.

If you only want to buy one gift, this was a great one for twins. I found one on Ebay but I'm sure you can find them elsewhere.

Here is a link that might be useful: Twins feeding pillow

I always thought you were not supposed to put where a person is registered on an invitation. And especially not ask for gifts. But oh well.

I'd say $50 since you don't know this person well and a gift for each child.

I wouldn't let my friends give me a baby shower b/c I had just gotten married the previous year. So many people made an effort to see him and bring a gift. It just felt so genuine. A good friend of my MIL came by and brought a little onesie from Walmart - not expensive - but it truly was the time and effort that she put in that meant so much. Another person sent expensive designer baby clothes (hundreds of dollars) but never has even seen my child.

What is a wishing well?

Smiles:)

I bring diapers, wipes, baby toiletries and a baby nail clipper, or onesies and T-shirts.

I've been to so many showers where the infant was showered with the most adorable outfits, but in reality infants are messing (what with all that expelling of bodily fluids at both ends) and mine were in their onesies unless we were going out for a visit. One of my DD's never even fit into half the dresses she received as a shower gift.

I tend to be more practical...and I just remembered never having enough diapers, wipes or washcloths! Oh, and cloth diapers for burp rags.

I thought the wishing well was for cash gifts , this shower giver has really thought of everything, the clothes line could have been omitted, imo.....

I love the washcloth idea for the clothesline. You can't have too many (at least I used them for tons of things, it's just easier to clean up a baby's face and hands with a wet washcloth than a wipe). Carter's makes great baby washcloths, so soft and with nice edging that holds up much better than just a thread edging. You can buy a 6 pack inexpensively at the carter's outlet if there is one near you.

After having my own baby shower and being presented with a pile of "stuff" I had no clue what to do with, I will never give anything but a gift card at a shower again. I know it's impersonal but to me it was the most useful thing. Those cute little outfits are tempting but I never used most of them, preferring to put my son in things I had chosen myself. Now I will admit that I ended up returning hundreds of $$'s worth of stuff that I just had no real use for and rebuying things as I needed (with coupons :-p mostly diapers but a few toys and things - my credit at babies r us lasted more than 6 months before I had to lay out actual cash for something).

My next favorite gifts were the baby blankets - homemade were always my first choice to grab but anything soft and lovely was useful to put on the floor for tummy time or when I was out in mom's groups or to throw over the baby in the car (I kept a few there).

I would not buy someone a nursing item that they did not register for unless you know for sure that they want to nurse (maybe there is a pump on the registry). It's a touchy subject with a lot of women and although I am pro-nursing (still nursing my almost 2 year old) it's a personal choice to be made by each mother and if she is not intending to nurse it could be seen as a statement more than a helpful gift. But if she is planning to nurse, it sounds like a great gift.

When I'm looking for something unique I go to a local boutique baby store that focuses on nursing and natural living type items and get something from there. 90% of her stuff is made in the USA, ecologically friendly, some of it from local craftspeople, and all of it is stuff she'd use herself. Maybe you can find a store like that and browse a bit rather than the typical babies r us stuff.

Wow, they sure made it clear why you are being invited to their party -- and it's not for your charming personality as much as your pocketbook, eh? (Being notified in an invitation of a registry as like being invoiced for a gift IMHO.)

Anyway, instead of buying two of whatever, especially since you aren't that close to the mother, I'd go the route that Pesky suggested and get diapers (or baby gear or toys) that can be used for both babies. Onestepahead.com has all sorts of wonderful and practical baby gear and much of it is clearly designed by busy moms & dads. I was given an online gift certificate for the website by a friend when my son was born. I've got no connection to the website, though this sure sounds like a testimonial! :)

If 75 people or even 50 people show up to this shower, how are they actually going to fit that many clothing gifts on that clothes line? And, more importantly, who's gonna notice if you brought one or not?

My policy when invited to a shower is to decide how much I'm going to spend, according to how well I know that person, and stick to the budget. So if you decide you want to spend $x, then that's what you spend. You can choose to buy one gift that the mom can use for both kids (diaper bag or nursing pillow or diapers as was suggested above); or two equal gifts, one for each kid; or split your budget between either of the above and the clothes line items and wishing well items (neither of which I've ever heard of before).

I would NOT spend my budgeted amount PLUS extra for the extras. And I would have no qualms about bringing a gift and no extras. And honestly, I wouldn't care who noticed!

If you do choose to buy clothing, buy larger sizes. Moms to be always seem to get a ton of the 0-3 months size and very little of the 12 mo or larger stuff which they will of course need after all the other gifties have long since been outgrown.

What I spend depends on who it is. For my son's 2 best friends that had a little boy; I treated them like this was my grandchild. She wanted a specific stroller; it was out of stock, gave her a gift card to where it was sold. I also bought diapers; think a baby nail kit plus one piece outfits. I think I also got one soft 2 piece outfit with soft "shoes" & socks.

With twins, I would buy 2 gifts. Do they know the sex(s) of the babies?

You could also see if there is a large gift she wants/needs and if a few people want to go in on it. That would be my 1st choice.

Back when my son's great grandmother was still sewing; I used to buy bibs from her to give. I've since copied her pattern & if I have time; will make a batch. The last time I made bibs was 2007; I left a bunch untrimmed so have them ready to go if needed. I never make just a few; I always go over-board. I bet I have at least 50 bibs in a plastic tote. I also adjust gram's pattern for toddlers.

The link below is similar to the bib I make.

Here is a link that might be useful: bib

I'm also of a practical nature and give diapers, onesies, wipes, etc., unless the showers are for my own kids.

I've been to several showers where there were 50 to 75 guests and the honoree opened all the gifts; I much prefer smaller, more intimate showers. Big ones take forever, people are restless and talking to each other, rather than paying attention to the gift opening. Six showers in eight weeks? I don't envy you. I hope you at least get a good lunch!

She surely get most of the items on her registries, so I'd go with the necessities. May get a couple of laundry baskets and fill with diapers, wipes, bibs,(Ava and Emma 11 month gd's go through dozens of bibs a day)and Laundry detergent.
Tell your CDIL to join a twins group in her area. My DD did, its a great way to talk to other mothers of multiples and they have huge sales of used baby/twin items.

I think it's tacky when an invitation is issued and the type of gift expected is dictated. Certainly, a registry can be useful in that it allows those who wish to shop at the stores listed to know what's needed and what's already been purchased ... but a clothes line and a wishing well - ??? Gimme a freakin' break. Granted, in this instance the info on the clothes line is worded in such a way so as to seem to make participation voluntary, but I think it still makes people feel like they should bring "a little something extra" to hang up.

My policy when invited to a shower is to decide how much I'm going to spend, according to how well I know that person, and stick to the budget. So if you decide you want to spend $x, then that's what you spend. You can choose to buy one gift that the mom can use for both kids (diaper bag or nursing pillow or diapers as was suggested above); or two equal gifts, one for each kid; or split your budget between either of the above and the clothes line items and wishing well items (neither of which I've ever heard of before). I would NOT spend my budgeted amount PLUS extra for the extras. And I would have no qualms about bringing a gift and no extras. And honestly, I wouldn't care who noticed!

I agree 100% with the above statements. I have no idea what a wishing well is either, but I think part of me would be tempted to toss in a piece of paper saying, "I wish people would stop trying to nickel and dime me to death."
;-D

How about some baby books and CDs of lullabies?

Or how about a lamp or two for the nursery? (of course I would suggest lamps! LOL! :))

THEN go to a store like Big Lots or T.J. Maxx and pick up a package of baby washcloths for the wishing well! Maybe some socks for the clothesline?

Jan

P.S. They're worth it

I've never heard of either a wishing well or a clothesline at a shower. However, I do agree with others who've said that the budget is the budget - no matter how many gifts you make it cover. If I want to spend $50, then that's what I'll spend - on one larger item, or six smaller things. I wouldn't spend over the budget for whatever it is that you're supposed to put in the wishing well or on the clothesline.

Oh, and if you do buy clothing, make it something larger than the newborn sizes. And prefereably something practical. My child was born ill and remained in the hospital for many weeks. By the time we came home, none of the zillions of little 0-3 month outfits I'd recieved as gifts fit him. And too many of the gift outfits that did fit were way to complicated and overdone. No exhausted mother wants to spend 15 minutes trying to smoosh an indignant and somewhat floppy newborn into a pair of trousers and a separate button-down shirt just so he'll look cute for the 10 minutes between dressing and spitting up all over himself. Layette gowns and onesies are where it's at. ;-)

Thank you for all of the thoughtful responses. I totally agree the whole thing is beyond tacky.

If you think that was tacky, the other baby shower invitation requested that in lieu of a card, bring a children's book for wishing well (which separates the book from the gift). Enclosed were two stickers, one being a typewritten poem, every other line pink/blue, and the other sticker for the giver to write a comment why the book was chosen and a spot to write your name. I know that the books for babies aren't crazy expensive, but still, you can buy a little card to match your gift wrap for $.49. Also, if you aren't including a card with the gift, but rather a book which is being placed in the wishing well, would it not stand to reason that the books and the gifts being separated, would make for a bit of a nightmare trying to get the thank you notes right. Okay, so I buy a book, do the little adhesives to put inside, etc. I'm thinking there would definitely be a friend or a sister of the mom-to-be keeping track of the gifts and from whom it came, being that again there were approx. 40-50 guests in attendance. Nope, no one writing anything down. My guess is either I will receive no thank you or a very generic thank you for your gift (which I almost hate more than receiving no note at all).

I dont' see anything indicating that the mom-to-be is planning to breast feed, so the pillow is out, although that looks like a great gift.

Again, thanks for your responses.

I don't post often, but I agree, showers are really getting out of hand! I resent being told what and where to buy a gift! I've heard of the wishing well, and have always assumed it was for little things, like nail clippers or wipes. But never heard of a clothes line! I was recently invited to a bridal shower (hosted by the mother of the bride) and we were told to wrap the gifts in cellophane. This is, I assume, so the poor bride doesn't have to be bothered opening gifts? I didn't attend, but had my gift shipped unwrapped. I wasn't about to order something, have it shipped to me, wrap it in cellophane and then ship it again. I guess I'm turning into a cranky old lady, but I think it's just tacky.

work_in_progress - do you sew? The bibs are really easy to make. Grab some "designer baby fabric" from Walmart; buy a cheap (thin) towel or 2; then follow an old bib if you have one laying around. You can either use the casing ribbon in the packs (geez forgot what it's called) or do what the one I linked to did & throw a snap in it. You can also use Velcro.

I thought the wishing well has been around for years? I remember one at my friends shower back in 1983.

I like the idea of a registry; what peeves me is when people shop at the registered store & don't tell the cashier the registry info. I've bought from Walmart & Target's registry; printed it before I left & no items were shown to be bought yet; this was a few days before the shower. Watching her open gifts; you could tell stuff was bought from that specific store because of the pattern that was asked for. Target & Walmart had their own versions which were a little different. The registry is especially helpful to me if I don't really know the person being showered well enough.

As far as the wishing well & clothes line; I would not do both. I like the recipient to know that I bought such & such. I would make a small bag of what I would put in the wishing well with a small card saying who it was from. Normally, I used to let my daughter "claim" the small gift bag; letting her sign the smaller card herself.

I dislike not knowing what gift is from who because it makes thanking someone hard. These days thank you cards are getting unpopular & it's a shame because the way I feel; if someone cared enough to shop for something to give you, you should show appreciation. I don't recall getting a card from the last shower I went to.

I resent being told what and where to buy a gift!

Ditto!

Received an invitation today. Haven't seen the 'girl' more than twice in the 20 years since she moved from the house next door. I'll send my regrets and a gift card from Target. Her Babies R US list had 77 items. Have no idea if that's the norm. I figure her money will go further at Tar Jay.

"I always thought you were not supposed to put where a person is registered on an invitation. And especially not ask for gifts. But oh well."

The entire point of a baby or wedding shower is to "shower" the guest of honor with presents, so putting the registry information in with the invitation is typically considered appropriate. It's events that are NOT specifically oriented toward the gifts, such as the wedding itself or a graduation party, where open reference to gifts is inappropriate.

Did anyone else think a shower invitation from the cousin's daughter-in-law, whom the OP has met maybe three times, is casting the "gimme" net just a tad far out? Maybe if OP and cousin were very close friends, sure, but good grief!

My standard shower gift is onesies. Lots and lots of plain white onesies, because my baby brother (now changing his own kids' diapers, how time flies!) could easily go through a dozen in a day. Budget is pretty much always around $25 unless it's a really close friend, because that's what MY budget can afford. If you shop right you can get a lot of onesies for $25! (I think my record is 10 6-packs that had been put on clearance for $2.50 a bag, down from $10, because the packages were ripped up. So I took them out of the packages, folded them nicely into a pretty box, and went merrily off to the shower - where I got in a viciously polite whispered argument with the host because I refused to play the "baby food tasting" game *retch*). Kiddo often outgrows them well before they wear out anyway. No one I know has done the "clothesline" although I do think it would be pretty cool to do a clothesline specifically to donate to the local women's shelter, and put that right on the invitation; I do find it very ironic that my lower-middle-class family ("you might be a redneck if...") thinks wishing wells are tacky.

Diapers can be tricky, unless a specific type is noted on the registry, because of that whole cloth-vs-disposable thing. There are some verrrrry strong feelings on that subject!

I do appreciate registries, both for weddings and baby showers, if I'm not very close to the recipient because it tells me what the recipients are interested in - I don't necessarily need to purchase something off the list, but if I see 20 Winnie the Pooh items on a baby shower list, that tells me that Mum is diggin' Pooh and might appreciate some mint-condition vintage Pooh books to read to her child or decorate a shelf in the nursery. It also does indicate to me what's NOT really welcome. For instance, if I see on the registry that everything the parents chose is either khaki, sage, and/or cream (such as at the last shower I attended), it's a pretty good bet that the parents are unlikely to be overly enthusiastic over primary colors or the old pink/blue routine.

Just my two cents -- I do appreciate knowing about registeries for both wedding and shower (and other celebrations) events.

I simply like to be able to buy items that the folks will actually like -- and will use.

Or as pointed out by Mari -- at least I can go other places to buy items that will correspond (or work with) to the actual items on the lists. And I do echo her thoughts on the color choices too!

Jan

I am the mother of twins...so I feel the need to put in my two cents!!!

One of the BEST gifts I got were preemie diapers! Regular diapers didn't fit...everything leaked out (sorry-TMI!) Of course, you don't know she will deliver prematurely, but diapers and wipes make a good gift!

Onsies were something else that I needed plenty of. If there is diaper blowout, the onsie was usually thrown into the laundry.

Anything I didn't have to purchase too soon after their birth was really helpful. We had lots of medical bills, and our income decreased while our costs went up lots. So if I was given something I did not have to purchase for the 1st several months, it was really appreciated. Things like baby laundry soap, shampoo, body wash, diaper rash stuff, etc...

At the shower there is no need to give 2 gifts. However if you are ever invited to a birthday party for twins, please consider wrapping up 2 gifts! One thing we did from early on is to purchase two cakes!!!