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hhireno

How about a little decorum?

hhireno
13 years ago

I foolishly stopped at the Mall yesterday. It was just awful & noisy & unpleasant. TVs hanging from the ceilings in the walkways (who is going to stop and watch something?), that noise competing with the different music blaring from each store, trashy looking clothes. I know studies show people spend more in loud places but it makes me just want to leave. (And I did come home empty-handed.)

The oddest thing, and it was a quite a competition, was they have a kiosk where you can get your eyebrows or facial hair removed by threading. Why would anyone want to sit, in the middle of the mall, like a side show attraction and have basic maintanance needs handled? I used to think sitting in the aisle at a dept store to have a make-over was a bit odd but that seems so normal now.

I have no problem, and no interest, in threading but why-oh-why would anyone do it sitting in the mall for all to see? What's next - flossing kiosks?

Comments (38)

  • DLM2000-GW
    13 years ago

    That's why I don't go to the (any) mall - I don't like having all my sensory systems mauled.

    Threading in a kiosk? Spare me.

    I like to buy things, shopping can be fun, and a stroll through a business area can be enjoyable, too. But malls really creep me out, all the stale air, people in a retail trance...... I'm old - what can I say?

  • IdaClaire
    13 years ago

    What's next - flossing kiosks?

    Hmmmm ... bikini wax kiosks? ;-)

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  • mitchdesj
    13 years ago

    I see more and more kiosks popping up in malls, they try to accost you as you go by.

  • natal
    13 years ago

    they try to accost you as you go by

    So creepy! I avoid malls at all costs! If I can't enter a store from an outdoor entrance I don't go there!

  • IdaClaire
    13 years ago

    I do know what you mean about the "out in the open" kiosks, and I think it's just one more symptom of an epidemic. There's really very little sense of decorum in the public realm anymore. This is driven home to me everytime I make a quick stop at Target and have to wield my way down aisles clogged with people who are all on their cell phones, having loud, personal conversations. It's not just a handful of people who do this - it's the majority of people in one place at any given time, I've noticed. What was once saved for private time is now done out in the open, and the general message being delivered is that if you don't like it, that's YOUR problem - not mine.

    I was at the gym yesterday and walked into the ladies locker room where I encountered an employee. She looked directly at me and began speaking to me in a long stream of Spanish, and when I said, "excuse me?" - it dawned on me she was talking on a Bluetooth. And then she shot me a look like I was bothering her. Sheesh. I'm almost always on a cardio machine with someone on a cell phone next to me. Of course, over the loud noise in the gym the person has to practically scream into the phone to be heard, but does that cause them to save their crucial conversation ("Really? She said that? Oh, I can't believe that. Yeah, I think I'll stop and get gas when I'm done here ... No. Really? Haha, that's so funny ...") until later? When I can still hear every last word over the heavy metal screaming through my iPod earbuds, I want to scream. I often end up interrupting my workout to move away from those people.

    It's not going to get any better either. We're raising an entire generation who don't seem to know how to save certain things for when they aren't out in public. And I think that's very sad.

  • PRO
    Diane Smith at Walter E. Smithe Furniture
    13 years ago

    Jen, on the same note...we drove by a house where a bunch of kids were standing in the driveway ALL talking on their cell's. My dd looked at me and wryly said "I'll bet there all talking to each other."
    I hate getting my hair done in a salon where they seat you in view of the public. I am going there to look nice, not display myself at my worst. Like when I have highlights done and I look like I'm heading to a Star Trek convention. I don't even want to see me looking like that let alone strangers. What's next, Gynecologists R US located in a kiosk?

  • flowerpwr45
    13 years ago

    I complained to our local mall administration at Christmastime about kiosk employees accosting me as I walked past; it reminded me of fair midway workers yelling at you to try their games. It slowed things down for a while but I noticed just the other day that they were back at it. And about cell phone usage; I really enjoy my salon time. My wonderful stylist knows me well enough to not engage me in too much conversation. The patron seated next to me last time, though, carried on a lengthy phone conversation with her out-of-town cousin giving her block by block directions to the salon after she apparently took a wrong turn somewhere along the line. It went on forever, and they were obviously arguing about my salon-mate's direction giving abilities. Okay, rant over ;-)

  • neetsiepie
    13 years ago

    Wow. I haven't been to a mall in ages; I try to avoid them like the plague. Fortunately, the anchor stores I do go to have street entrances.

    I recently took my granddog to get his shots at a pet store at the outlet mall (the kids bought a puppy care package). Well, it turned out that it was a vet & a tech set up at a folding table administering shots and microchips, etc at the entrance of the store!

    And even worse, recently I was at Walmart, directly across from the checkout was a dental clinic that does cleanings and I guess basic work. They have these half walls that I assume the chairs are behind; but you can see peoples feet.

  • hhireno
    Original Author
    13 years ago

    If, heaven forbid, they do have bikini wax kiosks someday, I'm blaming AuntJen for putting the idea out there in the universe. Quick, get the franchise rights!

    But I probably won't ever know because I'm never going through the mall again. I normally just go to the anchor stores through their outside entrances. For some reason, I entered at JCPenney and decided I wanted to check something at Macy's - hence my stroll through one of Dante's levels of hell. Should there be a next time, I'm doing the non-green thing and driving down there instead of walking through the mall.

    My friend the HS teacher said the kids are always talking about being disrepected but have no concept of how disrectful they are to others.

    The biggest advantage to texting is now we don't have to hear half of all those inane conversations. We just never get to look directly in the eyes of anyone because they are always looking down at their phones, their thumbs flying across the keys, engaging with others that aren't present.

  • terezosa / terriks
    13 years ago

    As far as cell phones go, what really bugs me is when I see a mother or father out with their children, and the parent is constantly talking on the cell phone. Sure, the parent is physically there with their kid, but they are not spending real time with them.

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    13 years ago

    We have a nail salon at our Wal Mart and it is always crowded and it's one of those open bays across from the registers. I can't imagine being on display while having a pedicure ever.

  • User
    13 years ago

    We live by a HUGE outlet mall that was designed to provide an indoor track so to speak for safe walking, it has wide isles, wood floors and best of all no bugs, one lap = 1 mile. We walk there for excercise and if we don't move to the other side of the isle we're accosted almost daily by some koreans who own a massage spa there, very annoying to say the least. I've never been a fan of those kiosks. I thought it was inappropriate when I saw some that started offering free ear piercings. Haven't seen threading in the middle of the isles yet though thank goodness, that is just plain gross!

  • sweeby
    13 years ago

    Agreed! While it might be convenient to have those kinds of services done in a mall, performing them right out in the open? Yuck! So if you run into a friend being 'threaded' -- are you supposed to pretend you don't see her (to spare her embarassment)? Or just dive right on in.

  • carriem25
    13 years ago

    I guess I am not really seeing the problem with public eyebrow threading, manicures or pedicures. These are not particularly intimate procedures - nothing private is exposed. Ditto for the doggie shots - it's not like the dog cares whether strangers see him getting vet care!

    I guess I am not sure why people should be embarassed to have others see themselves being pampered and taken care of.

    Carrie

  • neetsiepie
    13 years ago

    I guess it's cause it's like lifting another veil of modesty. We didn't used to see so much personal stuff, and now, everything is just out there. But I guess it's all just an extension of the day time talk show phenomenon.

    When I mentioned the dog, it was not that it's an embarrassing thing (for the dog) but more of an unnerving thing. The poor dog was subject to all these people oohing and ahhing while the vet tech and I were trying to hold him so he could get his shots. At the vets office, we go into a room, where my dog isn't subject to all those distractions.

  • leahcate
    13 years ago

    Oh cell phone manners!! .OMG OMG OMG! Unbelievable that some do not get their rudeness, their indifference is just appalling. A very nice English speaking (why I went) manicurist spent the whole time on her phone.
    Mall here gives upper body massages with customer sprawled over a chair, face buried and away they go...looks ludicrous. I would not have my flesh kneaded in public...and suppose I groaned out loud!:>O. :>)
    But as for mall shopping, I have wonderful memories of times with my daughter strolling the mall(s), trying on clothes, critiquing, hanging up for each other, fits of laughter,lunch or dinner and lots of sharing. We still do, and here I go again with my granddaughter. I love it! I feel sorry for dads and granddads who don't have this wonderful venue for times together.
    There are very few kiosks with hawkers, and they are very mild of manner. Don't love it, but doesn't really bother me. Good idea to report a pushy one. Good for you!

  • awm03
    13 years ago

    Malls make we want to run out screaming & tearing my hair. The noise, the crowds, the food court smells, acres & acres of cr@p for sale.

    I have fallen in love with a Lord & Taylor store in Stamford, CT. No food courts, no kiosks, no hordes of shoppers or gangs of kids hanging out, nothing but the L&T clothing store. It was built in the late 60s/early 70s as a stand alone store, back in the pre-mall days. It has a not too big parking lot with lovely landscaping. It's peaceful inside and beautifully decorated. It's like an old fashioned shopping experience where you feel pampered and luxurious. The store even has a *tea room* just like the great department stores in the old days!!

    L&T wants to close it & raze the building. But it's considered a CT Architectural Landmark because of the modern architectural style, and I'm hoping that the state historic preservation laws at least throw enough road blocks up to keep the store around for a few more years.

    Here is a link that might be useful: The wonderful Lord & Taylor in Stamford

  • teacats
    13 years ago

    Hate to go to most malls -- and outlet malls can be a horrid experience -- especially on a weekend!

    And yes! Decorum has all but disappeared! I have heard VERY VERY personal cell phone conversations at all kinds of places and right in front of children too!

    LOVED Lord & Taylor stores -- the best location in Dallas WAS the one at Northpark Mall. Very classy at the time -- I think it is long gone now!

    Jan

  • User
    13 years ago

    amw03 - That's a shame they want to change it instead of using it to their advantage. I just don't understand the logic. Obviously some of the mall designers are starting to understand people don't necessarily like the indoor malls, we've had a couple of really pretty out door malls that are smaller in scale built recently. Even in the snowy winter people frequent them.

  • palimpsest
    13 years ago

    I read this somewhere:

    A woman was sitting in a bathroom stall and she hears "hello".... so she says "hi" and then "how are you?
    so she said ....Um, ok?"

    Then she hears "Sigh, hang on... LISTEN could you shut up over there? I am on the Phone!"

    So not only was she rude enough to yell at the person next to her who had no idea what was going on, she was crass enough to CALL one of her friends while she was on the toilet. NOT answer a call she was expecting, mind you...Making one. Hmph.

  • greenthumbfish
    13 years ago

    I'm very fortunate that there is a new-ish outdoor mall located less than 5 min. from my house. I love it, but unfortunately my burb is not known for malls and I think it's somewhat of an experiment because many of the anchor stores aren't "full-fledged" stores (that includes some of the restaurants). But I love being able to park in front (or in back) of and walk right into any of the stores there. And yes, I drive from store to store. The kids can walk and scream into their cells and it doesn't bother me one bit, LOL!

    I, too, avoid malls like the plague, but one in particular... The Galleria - talk about an in-and-out nightmare, overpriced merchandise and all those levels, no thanks! My Dad used to check into the Westin Hotel at the Galleria a few days before Christmas and get all his buying done, LOL! My guess is a lot of people do that ;-)

    Jan, I L-O-V-E-D Northpark in the 60s and 70s, but I'm hard pressed to make that trek today ;-) Course it's now 2-3x the size it was then too. But it's still an experience not to be missed if you visit here.

  • User
    13 years ago

    "I'm almost always on a cardio machine with someone on a cell phone next to me. "
    Yeeah. I mean, what in the world? They're just shooting the bull really, really loud.

    Do you think someday they'll ban cell phones from public places? Lately I've noticed my BFF seems to be glued to her cell. Don't get me wrong, I don't leave home without mine but I make a point to practice a little common sense with it. It's not always appropriate to be on. I'll mention I also don't own a phone that you can launch a rocket. :) The last time she was over her phone kept making noises because she was getting text mess. Mid conversation she'd say,"oh hold on a sec." There were even times she'd try to continue the conversation and text back. I didn't say anything but thought it was really rude. She wasn't even aware. Nothing was that important and she also said that herself. If it becomes an all the time thing I'll probably mention it.

    Our mall doesn't get bad until Christmas time. I really don't like being attacked while walking by those little stations. If I was interested in what they had and felt like dropping some money I'd stop by. Please don't chase me, you know? And if I say,"no thank you" I really mean just that!

  • PRO
    Diane Smith at Walter E. Smithe Furniture
    13 years ago

    Here is what I like:
    Permission based marketing.
    Don't call, mail or pester me to buy something.
    I'll let you know when I'm interested.
    I will give you my PERMISSION to contact me.
    ..and don't talk or text on your cell when your talking to me!

    deedee (who has been in sales and retail a long time)

  • stinky-gardener
    13 years ago

    Wow, looks like I have plenty of mall-hating company here! & I thought it was just me, being hoplessly "out if it" again, but so may remarks here perfectly echo my own sentiments. Could have been me talking when Awm03 said, "Malls make we want to run out screaming & tearing my hair. The noise, the crowds, the food court smells, acres & acres of cr@p for sale." Yes!

    We have kiosks that do eyebrow flossing too, & kiosks from which people leap to harrass & "acost" you with lotion samples.

    Auntjen made a lot of interesting points about how increasingly "public" living has become, especially for the younger generations.

    I would add that I think it's actually difficult now for some people to live in private! If no one sees you doing something, are you really doing it? If I don't get my brows flossed at the mall, guess I'll have to have a friend take a video while I have it done so I can post it on YouTube. If I don't text someone to report that I'm in the grocery store looking for cereal, am I really there? I'm not sure. I'll have to check my Facebook page.

    In the ever expanding world of "reality" TV, etc., is the inner reality, the private world, evaporating? If I just quietly, privately go about my business, is my life really happening, does it mean anything?

  • PRO
    Diane Smith at Walter E. Smithe Furniture
    13 years ago

    Saw this short article in the Chicago Trib today and thought of you all. So that's why people talking on their cells bug us so much!

    Researchers at Cornell University conducted a series of tests to gauge people's reactions when exposed to four background noise settings: silence, a monologue, a conversation between two people and half a conversation (called a halfalogue).
    For some reason, our brains are unable to tune out half a conversation. Researchers believe this is because we can't predict the speech pattern of a halfalogue the way we can with a monologue or two-way conversation  making it harder to ignore.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Cornell University study

  • Jamie
    13 years ago

    That's interesting. I puzzle over why one would find be disturbed by a nearby stranger's phone conversation, yet be completely ok with the banter of a nearby pair of strangers. I actually find the pair more discomfitting. Half a conversation usually feels meaningless to me, and I have the sense, somehow, that the speaker with the phone has moved himself out of our shared space. When there are a pair of conversants I feel more uncomfortable, almost as if I am intruding.

    Our post office has a notoriously slow line. A friend of mine once complained about fellow customers being on their cells while all were waiting in line. I actually thought that that was a perfect time to be on the phone. There is really nothing else to do, no expectation to converse or spend time with the other waiters, and, as far as I can tell, no inconvenience to anyone. I'd feel differently if the postal clerk got on the phone, of course, when they were supposed to be working the counter, or if someone held up the line by being on the phone; it drives me crazy anytime a clerk takes a phone call rather than waiting on me. I feel that the person who brought her body to the store should be attended to before the one on the wire or wireless.

    I passed a small road crew on my way home tonight a couple of hours after overtime pay would have begun. The young woman who had one of those jobs where you just stand there (she was well off the road, alone, and not wielding any kind of tool or machine or directing traffic) was busy with her phone.

  • graywings123
    13 years ago

    I think that people tend to speak louder when using a cell phone as compared to talking face to face. That's part of the annoyance factor for me.

  • runninginplace
    13 years ago

    "So not only was she rude enough to yell at the person next to her who had no idea what was going on, she was crass enough to CALL one of her friends while she was on the toilet."

    On that note...I saw something a few weeks ago at work that literally made my jaw drop. A (male) student walking into the bathroom carrying his LAPTOP computer, on which he was busily typing something!!! Now, that is outta control. NB-this was an engineering student so perhaps the social controls aren't quite the same as "normal" folks...and I can say that since I'm also married to a systems analyst myself :).

    Re. cell phones, another interesting facet is how the ubiquitous nature of the phone has changed behavior patterns in terms of responding. It is fascinating to me that when I misdial a cell number, I almost always get a response call on the order of 'someone called this number'. For some reason on cells, people feel compelled to answer, to call back, etc. Don't know why that is. People answer calls and texts and IMs as if there is not even the option of ignoring it or calling back a bit later. Personally I do not like talking on my cell in public. Even though the topic is always innocuous, it makes me uncomfortable to hold a private conversation in the midst of people who are almost forced to overhear it.

    Then again I am the person who is quite capable of, and does, ignore a telephone call if I don't feel like talking. And now with U-Verse service, the caller ID shows up on my tv screen! So I can ignore the phone without even getting up. Bliss for this antisocial couch potato.

    Ann

  • User
    13 years ago

    I've also noticed people talk much louder when on the phone and don't seem to realize it. I can think of three people off the top of my head that do that.

    As far as the gym thing, it bugs me when people are standing there holding loud conversation to each other while on machines or worse..across the room. I'm ok as long as I can drown them out with my music.

  • Jamie
    13 years ago

    haha, I'm getting hard of hearing - that explains my immunity, and possibly makes me obnoxious, too. I'll have to watch this, I do tend to raise my voice when I can't hear.

  • jaybird
    13 years ago

    I'm another NorthPark Mall fan, but let me say I only get there about once a year and that is the only maul ;^) that I am willing to visit!!!!

  • OllieJane
    13 years ago

    Ann, that grosses me out about the laptop in the bathroom! Of course, I am a real germaphobe anyway.

    I will be going to NorthPark mall in the next couple of weeks. Love shopping there!

  • PRO
    Diane Smith at Walter E. Smithe Furniture
    13 years ago

    We just got the service where the caller id shows up on the TV too. dh now finds it amusing that when the phone rings to shout out "someone please answer the TV!" *sigh*
    I like to leave my cell at home when running errands close to home. Somehow it feels liberating not to be connected that way. I think shopping was more fun when people weren't on their cells constantly. There was more eye contact and conversations between strangers.

  • IdaClaire
    13 years ago

    I use my cell phone to text my hubby a few times during the day (our calling package makes it cheaper to do that than to make voice calls), but beyond that I rarely use it. I view my phone as more of a lifeline in an emergency situation than anything else and am more likely to call someone on it if my car breaks down than I am to call someone for the purpose of having a mindless chat.

    If the studies linking cell phone usage to brain cancer and other maladies proves true over time, we're going to see an epidemic of illness. I don't know what to believe in that regard - seems like in many ways the jury is still out on how consistent use of all of these wireless devices is going to impact our health in the long run. That's not why I don't use my cell phone much, but still something I ponder from time to time.

  • johnmari
    13 years ago

    I had my ears pierced in a mall kiosk in West Virginia in approximately 1977 and my stepmother and I had second holes done at a mall kiosk in New Hampshire in the early 1980s, maybe 1983 - places like Piercing Pagoda have been around pretty much as long as there have been malls IME. It does bother me when people bring their very small children (I'm talking toddlers and preschoolers) to a public place to have their ears pierced because you can hear the screaming-in-pain at the other end of the mall, poor kids. (I know piercing ears when children are very, very young is a common thing among some ethnic groups but I still don't like the practice.)

    I wonder why everyone in this thread assumes everyone's cell phone conversations are always "mindless". That's a pretty insulting overgeneralization.

    I'm with jamies - if I'm standing/sitting next to a couple or small group of people conversing, it's much more intrusive to me. I often feel like I'm inadvertently eavesdropping. They can get extremely loud, too, louder than any cell talker I've heard - I've been driven out of my favorite cafe more than once by noisy people. (And gosh golly gee whiz, they're talking about "mindless" things just as often as people on phones!)

    Many stores and restaurants and other public places where I live have banned cell phones - signs up on the door saying something like "please turn off your cell phone ringer, otherwise you may be asked to leave".

    I do text a good bit while I'm sitting around doing nothing in a waiting room or in a looooong line, now that I have a phone that isn't horrible for texting - I don't really see how that is much different from, say, someone reading a magazine, doing a sudoku puzzle, or some other quiet time-occupier while waiting.

    "Conversations between strangers" being a good thing? I DON'T WANT frickin' strangers talking to me! I find having the phone headset on keeps people away, which is what I want - I use one with a corded boom mike because I can talk quietly and still be heard, and it's very visible unlike the tiny little Bluetooth jobbies (which I also have, was a freebie with my phone, but I hate it because its charge life is very short, the mike is several inches from my mouth so I do have to raise my voice, and it drops out more often).

  • segbrown
    13 years ago

    That article was interesting. I am like jamies, I've never understood why it bugs people that someone is shopping or biking or whatever, alone, on their phone. If there were two people there talking to each other, that's twice as much noise, yet no one complains about that. It doesn't bother me at all AS LONG AS the person is alone. People ignoring companions while on phones, totally different story.

    And also with runninginplace ... I too find it strange that people are compelled to call back. "Who is this?? You called my phone!!" Weird. I saw a mother on her son's phone at the soccer field the other day, doing that. "You called, but no name came up on the caller ID. Who is this?" Son would have died of embarrassment, I imagine, had he known. (Yes, there could have been extenuating circumstances that I don't know about, but it just looked to me like nosiness.)

  • IdaClaire
    13 years ago

    It bothers me to hear half of a secondhand conversation consisting of what I consider leisurely banter, idle chit-chat, shooting-the-breeze (whatever you want to call it) because the vast majority of the time, it's done by someone who is (a) talking much louder than they would in a face-to-face conversation, and (b) mindlessly maneuvering a cart around a store, oblivious to anyone else whose path they might be blocking. It bothers me because before the advent of cell phones, those constant-talkers would go about their business silently when alone. Now there's a constant barrage of verbal diarrhea coming from people when they're alone in public. It's just more noise - just one more thing to assault the senses - and the fact that too many people seem to be inconsiderate of everyone else around them while they're making that noise ... yeah, I find it offensive.

    I'm glad there are some who aren't bothered by hearing the cell phone convos of others. I know there are a lot of us who do find it disruptive and disturbing though.

  • natal
    13 years ago

    There was more eye contact and conversations between strangers.

    Agree! People are very self-absorbed these days.