In your area St Aug would be my first thought. It can take over in my opinion. All you have to do is put down one piece (about a dollar). If you can get Floratam use that but I think all you can find is Palmetto in your area. Put it down onto bare soil and walk on it to get good contact with the underlying soil. Keep it moist for the first 2 weeks until it knits to the underlying soil. Moist means moisten (not drench) it at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Once it is established keep it just a little bit moister than the surrounding Marathon II. Marathon II is a dwarf type grass. Palmetto likes to be mowed at the highest setting. If you mow your lawn at the highest setting and restrict water to once per week (that is after you are sure your piece of St Aug is knitted down), the St Aug will send out runners in all directions about 5 feet in length once during the warm up in the spring and once again during the cool down in the fall. So you'll get a pretty good coverage. When you fertilize, fertilize only the St Augustine. Drop some alfalfa pellets on the main piece and follow the runners out with more alfalfa pellets. You can do that every week if you like. That will keep the St Aug in the peak of health while allowing the Marathon II to decline. If you have patches of burr clover now, that is right where I would start with the St Augustine pieces. The more pieces of St Aug you start with, the faster this project will be complete. In the really hot and dry summer heat, meaning over 100 every day and humidity below 20%, you should water the St Aug every 5 days. Just to keep the Marathon sort of green, that should probably be watered, too. As the temps cool down, you can favor the St Augustine more and try to get more runners out of it. If you buy one piece of St Aug for a dollar, you can chop it up into smaller pieces with a machete or shovel. I would not cut it into more than four pieces, though. You have to have something to work with. But that would help you get it going farther faster. Generally St Augustine will dominate all other grasses with few exceptions. Some bunch grasses like dallisgrass can get a foothold and move in. Burr clover can be a weed in St Aug. Once you get St Aug, you can no longer use Weed-B-Gone Clover, Chickweed, and Oxalis against broad leafe weeds. WBG will kill the St Aug. You have to use a product with atrazine. You can only use that stuff once per year, so be judicious when/where you use it. Atrazine is a nasty product and repeated use doesn't seem to work as well as the first use anyway. When you spray, walk backwards so you don't have to walk through it. That stuff will flat knock down everything but the St Aug, though. It can take a few weeks, and you'll never really see the weeds withering away until SUDDENLY (!) they are no longer there. I would wait until April when the grass and all the weeds are growing well. Don't spray it now or you might lose your entire lawn. This paragraph is more for next year and the years after once you have the St Aug established. If you are watering and mowing right, you should never see another weed.

I heard an interview yesterday on a program on public radio called The Take Away, or something like that. Anyway, the host interviewed a surgeon that had completed the marathon 30 seconds before the first blast. Needless to say, he went to help, and after a long time working in the medical tent with nothing but adrenaline giving him power, he said he started to tire out. He felt like he had run a marathon. Well, he did, didn't he? It amounted to two marathons! Anyway, I was enormously impressed with this gentleman giving of his time and what energy he had left to offer help in this time of need. He said that most of the people coming to the tent had minor injuries, that the people with the worst injuries were taken straight to the hospital. I imagine there were numerous minor injuries that still needed a doctor's care. He was there for them. Sally

Susan, No, you're not being unreasonable. But yes, I would insist on one last attempt at counseling. Our first go of it was rather mediocre, at best. This last one was amazing for both of us. It truly made all the difference in the world. DH likes to work from home on a large property which leaves you having to like it or lump it - AND the huge commute? Selfish. DH wanted to have a room for his DS and be close to his mom - now that, I understood. It has always been the three of them and I think you were being considerate to not jump in and get rid of anything from the past. You were very obliging to continue to give in and try not to rock the boat too much. But, now, his mother is gone. His son is an adult. Yes, for years, it has just been the two of them and the relationship is VERY co-dependent. That was sweet - that he attempted to be both mother and father, but now he has a grown MAN who cannot stand on his own two feet. It was also great that he kept connected w/ his first wife's family - probably important for his son and the g-parents. I'm sure they didn't want to lose their g-son after burying their DD. So, on the surface, I see a man in your DH who tried to accomodate everyone else in his life, but now has a wife that he has left to fend for herself. It isn't fair, your health has suffered - and I'm a huge believer in the stress you're under causing your immune system to weaken. Your husband's goal, and any parent's goal, is to raise their children to be self-sufficient ADULTS. Instead, I see an entire generation of grown MEN viewing themselves as dependent teenagers. I don't know what exactly went wrong - giving too much, doing too much or what, but these boys are, well, boys. They should be men by now. If he were a man - independent, thriving, working, dating, I'm sure you'd have no problem w/ his visits or whatever. However, he sounds so much like my SS. My DH finally has seen the light and has vowed to stop being his enabler (though we can't get rid of the stupid car the guy had no business getting in the first place.) I do hope you can seek some counseling. It did make a difference for us. I, too, felt no love for my DH just a few months ago - wondered if it would ever return. Like you, I'm bitter that I was also talked into several things that went against my gut instincts. But, we have to move on. Your DH and mine are both very nice, very well-liked, and are trying to do the best they can by their kid(s). However, in their unending devotion (which is fine to a certain limit), they have lost us along the way. Has he spoken to your Drs. at all about your condition, the wear and tear on your body that the stress, the commute, etc. has taken? It seems like there's no one whispering in his ear that the relationship he should be devoted to the most at this stage is the one w/ his life partner. I wish you well. Feel better, give the counseling one last try - I was just like you in April when I came here. Hurt, not supported, alone and abandoned - or so I felt, by my husband. Would he be at all sympathetic to you wanting to be near YOUR family now? Have you considered looking for a place there or is it financially not possible w/ the money pit you bought w/ him? Dana

It's a challenge to get gift ideas our of our daughters, but every year 2 of them ask for cashmere sweaters. Lord and Taylor Cashmere are now half off. Also scored on Ann Taylor cashmere when it was half off on Cyber Monday. Just bought the wine socks (shown above) online for one DD. So cute, I've seen them in stores. Those were a suggestion from one DD. Another DD just sent me a link to this, which is a video on Face Book: No, I'm not buying it! DH always gives the girls a nice hand-picked selection of wines--6 each. This year 2 DD's who live together are adopting a Sphynx cat next month and we are all very happy to have a new feline member of the family. We are scurrying to buy her the things she will need. Such fun!