Well darn Linda! I'm holding out hope that they needed a few days at home to unpack and get life back in order and that someone sent you a real snail mail letter that is just taking days to arrive. "could happen" as they say!

If not, I think that your idea of sending an email just asking about their return trip would be a great way to nudge them into an email thanking you for what sounded like a nice evening! Even if I told myself that I'd just ignore them and move on, I'd be needled by it just a bit and not REALLY let it pass so I'd send the email in a week or so!

Grace

Did they at least thank you nicely that same night, before they left ?

It would be proper for them to follow up now with additional thanks, I personally would not nudge them, why bother ?

I don't think I would waste my time and energy on these folks again unless they contact you to thank you for your hospitality. I'd say after a week and a half, there is probably no further thanks coming.

linda, make like a duck and let it roll off your back. There is no point in emailing them, they won't get it.

Peppi

My thoughts too....but I keep hoping that a nice plant or a box of candy might come in the mail....
They thanked me as they left....and I knew it was better at my house because I had pictures they would want to see. They said they were going to take me out to dinner...but.
And, you know me, I didn't do it for the thanks, but because I felt it was the right thing to do. The son, male cousin said he always felt like his family was the black sheep branch of the family and that there was some deep secret. He didn't know his father wasn't married when the baby was born, and they never visited and lived a long way away from most of the rest.
Anyhow, if they were at all thinking of me when they got home, they would have sent a note....I won't sweat it, and I won't nudge.
Not to be judgmental ( but you see I am!) but I had set the table with knife, spoon dinner fork and salad fork, cloth napkins and had a separate salad plate and made a big bowl of salad and passed it, because you see, I had no veggie! The man never unfolded his napkin and ate all his dinner with his salad fork, 2 put their salad on their dinner plate and one used the salad plate for bread. But in their favor they did offer to help me clean up. LOL!
I offered coffee but they declined, I was worried about all the booze consumed and driving, but he was driving and seemed OK and they were going less than a mile to the motel.

Anyway...it's over...
Linda C

Seems like they are obviously lacking in social graces, so doubt there is a 'snail mail' on the way.
(Although stranger things have happened)

Having to unpack & get their lives back in order is no longer an excuse with the ease of email.

So maybe a brief email to them, expressing your 'concern' that they made the trip safely? Just to set your own mind at rest? You don't have to write what you are really thinking..

Then forget them.

Rusty

Well, in all fairness, if he was from a troubled side of the family, he probably was never taught some social graces. The poor manners at the table are forgivable. My kids might not use the right fork or the proper plate at times, eventhough they are often reminded. Hopefully something will sink in by the time they are grown but who knows? The lack of a proper "thank you" however....

I can't believe they didn't show up with anything, and then failed in a proper thank you. Frustraing, I know, but you did a "mitzvah".

We recently had a visit from a friend who moved across the country years ago. She, her DH and their 2 kids came back east to say goodbye to family and friends before moving to Australia, where her DH is from. They spent 2 weeks on the east coast, staying at people's homes and visiting, and I would imagine they treated every host as ungraciously as they treated my home. They were here for 2 days of meals and activities that I planned for their young kids. There were more complaints and demands than thank you's and after they left I heard nothing for weeks except mass emails about their exciting new life jobless and living with his family. I wasn't surprised though because 10 years ago before moving out west, they stayed with us (no kids at the time) for 2 weeks with pretty much the same behavior.

I felt a little put out and annoyed after they left. And since I'm not crazy about her DH it's probably time to let the friendship die a natural death. Let's both screen our calls from these folks!

AM

A mitzvah...guess that's what I did.
And if they come this way again...I will do the same thing again. But this time I will expect the rather ungracious behavior.
These people are not day laborers... at least 2 of them have responsible jobs where they deal with other people, they are 2 of them over 50 and one very near that, so the excuse of "their mother never taught them" doesn't hold water. They were kind, language was good, English wasn't too bad they said they loved the meal and how nice it was of me to feed them when they were planning on taking me out....but just don't know that a note after a meal is nice.
Even my very good friends who I feel comfortable saying.."I made a pot of soup...come on over and help me eat it"...will send a thank you email.
But It amuses me becausew hen they first contacted me...I sent a copy of the email to my kids, saying "Guess who emailed me!" and they both replied you're NOT going to have them spend the night are you???
And later...."why not just meet then somewhere for coffee or a glass of wine."
They took pictures which they promised tos end to me....maybe they're waiting to have the film processed....wink wink!
And I am pretty sure that if I were in their neighbor hood they would welcome me and treat me the best they know how....and not expect me to write a thank you note.
Well...it has been said if you don't want to be a door mat, don't lie down on the floor
But I guess everyone has to do door mat duty now and then. And I did it fairly willingly....so I'll shut up now!!LOL!
Linda C

Linda you know darn well you did the right thing....as you always would.

No accounting for others behavior, manners etc., we can only worry about our own behaviour....and yours was right.