vall3fam, Before you decide to be deceptive, stop and think of a way to be more open and compassionate to your mission. Set a profile up for yourself,if you don't already have one. Invite her to be your friend. Be honest! Gently explain your thoughts to her in a mother-to-daughter embrace of words. Then let her decide if she wants to accept your invitation. This could be something she has always wanted since loosing her brother. Though I don't know the full picture here. From either side. But, it could be a total shock ,too! Just be careful with your approach. For the sake of the siblings. I hope everything works out.
You do have a kindred spirit. Bless you! bbbluz

Forgot about the initial question!! YES THEY CAN trace you through your IP address which is a unique number consisting of 4 parts separated by dots, eg 165.113.245.2 Every machine that is on the Internet has a unique IP number.
bbbluz

Here is a link that might be useful: What is my IP address?

Thanks bbbluz,

When I trace my ip, the closest it gets is showing a location about 75 miles from where we are actually located.

It's funny about how I found her. I know his siblings names and just recently thought about myspace and facebook to see if anything popped up. When I found what I thought was hers on myspace, I read through it and not until I scrolled all the way down through her profile did I come across a little picture of my son when he's about 3! We adopted him when he was six, but he'd been in foster care since 3. He's now 15. She wrote a plea to him that when she became of age, she would find him and rescue him from the awful foster cares she imagined that he'd been placed in over the years. Her little essay was quite heartbreaking. She just turned 18.

So until he's 21, I just wanted to contact her, and with protecting his and our privacy, let her know he's been in good care and that she doesn't have to worry about what happened to him. Since it was a closed adoption, I don't wish to be contacted until he's of age and mind to handle the meetings.

I have no intent of being deceptive, other than protecting our privacy.

Thanks again,
Elaine

Elaine, Please, contact her. Express your fellings with her. She sounds like she NEEDS to know. She put that essay there hoping that he will find her. And to relieve the pain that is welled up inside her for the lose of her sibling. She sounds like she needs him. If she and your son have the proper guidance, this could make a world of difference in their Growth towards adulthood. Has your son ever given you any indication that he desires the need to find his sister? If he has, then contact her! Things like this can weigh on a person's conscious. Keep them from becoming the full potential they are capable of. Set their wonders free. Let them grow together. I think 15 isn't too young. He is a young man on his way to becoming an adult. If my adopted Mom ever did this for me, I would never be able to show her how much she is loved for going to the extreme of finding a part of me that was lost so long ago.
You are special! My Friend! bbbluz

Maybe you have a sister/brother/best-friend who lives in another area that would gently descretely be your go between and smart enough not to simply forward email. Wouldnt take much effort for a friend to copy/paste or set up a webspace for photo's if you do that.

You'll be anonymous. Your friend can be very nearly also.

There are a lot of places with computers for the public to use. The library, YMCA has a few in their lobby, even some at a local laundromat! The IP would be theirs, not yours, I would think. Is that correct (anyone who really knows how it works)?

Thanks, mikie, I didn't even think of trying that angle.

bbbluz, he has never indicated that he even remembers her or his brother. They were older and being raised by the maternal grandmother, and he was born and raised elsewhere. I think it was freaky how I found his picture on her myspace, especially since it isn't even the myspace she currently uses. I'm going to make the first attempt to contact her since she's now 18 and see what happens. If things don't seem right, I'll wait and see how things are in a year or two. Right now, this is more for me than for my son. I'd like to keep up on the whereabouts of his birthfamily members so when the time comes, the search will be easy. That you too are adopted is very special. Thanks for your outlook.

Elaine

GMail does not show the users IP address in their emails.

Here is a link that might be useful: Gmail IP addresses

and with gmail you don't have to use your real name..

i have one account with gmail using georgebush as username

Elaine, I did not intentionally mean to give you the impression that I was adopted. I was not. I have volunteered alot of my time trying to give back what counseling has done for me. I do know the foster system. And it is not always a pretty sight. But, I got lucky when I found a family that was willing to take me in and treat me as if I were their own. This young lady WILL want to see her little brother. And she will not be patient once you contact her. She is young and restless, and sounds adamant in her mission. If you seek her out, this may cause her grief, or, could put her heart to rest till you are ready for the initial invitation. Also, 5 years from now your son may find it hard to trust you if he ever found out that you knew all this time and never told him. I found this to be more common than anything else in my endeavors of counseling used and abused children that were separated from their siblings. The ultimate slap in the face is, "How could you do this to me when I needed her/him the most."
I really think that maybe you should send her a comment through My Space telling her that he is ok, and what your intentions are for the future. As breenthumb has suggested, go to your local Libray. Create an e-mail that is not associated with who you are. In the mean time, talk to your son in a round about way. Find out his wishes, prepare him for the ultimate goal of connecting with his siblings. You may be doing this for your contentment, but the outcome will be laid upon your sons shoulders.
If I had been adopted, you are the person that I would have chosen, if I could have. Donna

Think your moves over very carefully. And perhaps consult with a family counselor before you do anything further.

Various persons have various "goals" in contacting long lost relatives. Some folks think their dreams will be fulfilled. They will then have the relationship they believe they missed. They think they will be "complete."

Quite often that's a fantasy that's shattered in time.

The teenage girl who wrote that piece may have such a fantasy. But of course, none of us knows.

Still others don't want contact, for whatever reason.

My middle son is adopted. But he has no intention of trying to locate any of his blood relatives. He doesn't have anything negative to avoid because the only things we know about his parents are height, weight, also hair and eye color.

I think he believes he already has a family and need not look for others. Then, too, he currently has a full life with a wife and daughters, also all the inlaws.

Carefully examine your own motives for such a reunion.

Is it truly for your son, also for her? If so, they may not agree with you.

Or is it for you?

jean001,
Excellent! Everything I thought of, but, just couldn't put it into words the way you did. bbbluz

A girl on another forum was asking if her abusive ex-boyfriend could find her through her cell phone and/or her computer because she knew he knew the IP, and obviously her cell phone number.
I thought the cell phone would be easy to trace with the computer-ware that is out there. Sounds like he can find her with knowing the IP too.
The world is not a secret/safe place anymore...