When the date is set and she has a sparkler on her finger....then a gift is in order.
I mean...an appropriate engagement gift would be some glasses...crystal or not...perhaps china...and what is she going to do with it while he is in school? Store it?
Wait until the time is closer.
Linda C

A letter stating how excited you are for their future, how proud you have always been of her in the past and currently (and why) might be something that she might cherish. We get so few actual letters these days.....

I hold very dear a four page letter that my father sent me after DHJoe proposed and then called my father to ask "for my hand". (We were still in college, dating less than 7 months, no jobs found and my father had only briefly met Joe in passing as I was at college 1,000 miles from home.) The closing lines of the loving, sentimental and very astute letter were "PS Enclosed is 20.00. Joe take Grace out to dinner." I still read the letter occasionally and marvel at his charm and graciousness apparent in the letter and then chuckle at the last line.

And I think that I agree with Linda that until a date is set then an actual wrapped engagement gift would be a little early.

Grace

Grace - I love that story!

BL - IMHO if they're looking for engagement gifts they'll throw an engagement party. (I say that without passing judgment on engagement parties.) In the meantime I'd simply continue being as generous as you'd like to your niece.

I agree with Grace -- a letter would be wonderful, or if you want something less formal, send them a congratulations card! And I agree with FOAS -- if they want an engagement gift they'll throw an engagement party.

Linda, the sparkler is there but no date set. Perhaps we will be invited to an engagement party, but St. Louis is a mighty long way from Central FL! I know there will be parties for her college friends and such. I do agree that waiting for a good while is in order.

I have four hand-made quilts that are about 100 yr old (my great grandmother) that I intend to give her. Would this be appropriate as an engagement gift?? My sister-in-law talked with me about a yr ago (doesn't happen often) and during the conversation she expressed concern because she doesn't have family heirlooms to pass to her daughter. I mentioned that I have a few and that her daughter would be the likely recipient since there is NO ONE else. Her mom was relieved! This niece will also be our primary heir, although she has no clue, and I'm not telling her mother!

I think a quilt would be beyond lovely!!!
Would that thrill your niece?

Engagement parties seem to be a thing of the past in my circle....there may be an informal sort of get together at the time of the event, but I don't know of an "engagement party" as such for easily 40 years.
When they set a date....send her the quilt....or perhaps if she is still in school and dealing with packing and moving send a picture with the history and tall her you will "hold it until she finds a semi permenant place.
Terrific gift!
Linda C

I agree with those who say to wait a bit. I also agree that the quilts would be a wonderful engagement present. It's a tradition in our family to give heirlooms as engagement presents. They always go to the bride-to-be regardless if the relative is a son or daughter. When our son was married we gave our future DIL a hand-tatted tablecloth made by DH's grandmother & a sterling gravy ladle that was my grandmother's. Our daughters each received a piece of family jewelry. I think there's something about the gifting of a family heirloom that really binds people together.

/tricia

Thanks to everyone! The letter is a great idea and I'll put some thought to that.

Triciae, thanks for the confirmation on the quilts. Would she like them? She is 25, and her taste is Pottery Barn, but she has welcomed some hand-thrown pottery I gave her. I'll see what I can find out. The quilts are not museum quality, but all hand made and well preserved. They fit full size and could probably cover a queen bed. I've hung one on the wall in a previous home. Need to pull them out of the linen closet and take a look at them. No spots, just yellowing of the fabric. Certainly they look better than I will at their age!

I don't know if you are still looking for ideas, but I have a good one for this early stage, especially since she has a ring: get her a fancy crystal ring holder.

That's what I got for Future Mrs. Thing One when Thing One proposed. In fact, that's the only engagement gift I gave them! (Unless you count paying for most of the wedding weekend, and airfare for all the trips here they need to plan -- I call that a pretty good gift!).

A ring holder is a good thing for a cook to have, too -- I already had one on my dresser (come to think of it, it was an engagement present from a friend of my parents), but when I was buying FMTO's, I bought myself another one for the kitchen.

A scrapbook or a camera would also be a good choice.

Please not a subscription to a bridal magazine! Those things make a lot of trouble! :-)

Congratulations to your family!

Thanks everyone! I think the search has ended and my husband won the prize.

Because our niece is in St. Louis and her betrothed is in southern Florida, we wanted to get something for each. I finally told hubs that we should get each a set of kitchen knives so that when they join households there wouldn't be much overlap. He suggested ... get this ... a pair of Coach leather cabin bags. We each have one ourselves. His thinking was that each of the young people will have to travel and they would enjoy the long term elegance of these bags. WINNER! On ebay, they won't cost very much more than a good set of knives.

He suggested that the bags wouldn't match--ours don't, because it's hard to find two of the same color. I told him that this isn't a problem. It would be more difficult if they did match--which one's mine????

Anyway, I think this is what we will do. We are already thinking of what we will get for a wedding present but that's probably 18-24 months away. If we need another engagement gift, we'll anti up. We love our niece and her SO is a hard working guy who treats her very, very well. Neither is from a wealthy family, so we reserve the right to spoil both of them!

Very sweet and thoughful of you both! I think those are great gifts, lucky couple.

Di