The degree of "re connect" depends on how much you want to be re connected.
I have "found" a few old friends with whom I had lost contac t. Just caught up...like "Hi! You doing fine? Where are you now? How old are the kids now....yadda yadda".
But I know people who have "found" HS friends that they had long lost track of who have made plans to meet when they are in the area and others who are on their email list. People become disconnected because school ends, people move and it's only in the last 10 years or less that email has become ubiquitous.
You only get as connected as youw ant to be....
Why are you hesitating? If you don't sign up, no one can find you.
And unlike email, you always have the choice of ignoring a message written on your wall....by saying..."oh Sorry. I don't sign on every day."
Go for it...it's free....what's to lose?
Linda c

Facebook will search for possible classmates unless you tell it not to.
In my case I already had the email addy for a friend that I went all the way through school with. When I checked her friend list on FB I found other mutual friends and other's found me. It is really amazing. I moved away from my hometown shortly after college so lost track of all...you know, caught up in my own life, etc.
Linda is right though, you only have to connect or respond if you want to.

I do hope to get together with some of these friends asap or maybe go to the next reunion if that happens first.

Nancy

I stay better connected with my family than with friends. I have family both local and out of state and we can post a quick status of what we're up to without having to individually email everyone. I can also post photos/videos for just the people I want to see them without having to worry about bogging down their email boxes with large attachments. I've become "friends" with a lot of people I went to school with but we mainly just connect to see where we are in life--no so much to connect in person. More of a curiosity: are they married, do they have kids, do they still live in town, etc. I hope I do get to reconnect with some people in person that I do like--we just don't seem to have the time to stay in touch anymore.

I've found friends from elementary school! It's fun to see how they look, what they ended up doing for a living and to see their children and then keep up with them thru little messages on facebook.

You only put out there what you feel comfortable with. And if there is someone you don't want to contact you or "find" you, you can add their name to your privacy settings. I did this with my boss. The lady I work for on Fridays. I know she's on FB but I dont want to be her friend and I dont want her nosing into my personal business so I just blocked her. Now she can't see me or find me. As far as she knows, I'm not on FB. No one can see your page UNLESS you accept them as a friend.

You should try it. If you find you dont like it, don't go back.

Oprah even has a FB page! Ellen Degeneres does, lots (if not all) of the famous people do.

I have found some high school friends (grad 1970). It is like Linda said - if we had email then it may have different but so many went off to college - got married - moved, yada yada yada. I have had a good time reconnecting with some high school friends and have a trip planned with my sister (2 yrs younger) to meet up with a mutual high school friend. Like everybody has already said - you can put in as little or as much personal information as you want. You can be as active as you want - NO RULES!

So, if you block somebody they can't see that you're there, and if you "friend" them they can see your page.
What is the in-between? What do you see so that you know the person is on facebook at all? Just a name?

The in-between is they just see your name and photo/avatar. You don't have to put a photo or avatar (sometimes I used one of my dogs), but otherwise people can't distinguish between you and multiple people with the same name (unless you have an usual name). Many women used their maiden name as a middle name so folks who knew then under that name can find them.

Gee, if you're finding people from grade school the photo might not help much. I imagine there must be a lot of "Are you the Mary Jones who went to XYZ middle school in Dubuque?" Even the less common names are too common!

That's why Mary Smith Jones is better if you want to be found my people in our past. You can also search on other words, e.g. Montgomery High School, Albany, and anyone with those words in their profiles will pop up. You just won't be able to see the details.

I don't know...I'm unsure if FB is right for me.

I've had 2 friends from highschool contact me through classmates.com. One, my very best girlfriend from those days, and the other...my first boyfriend.

Barbara & I were so close in school. When the phone rang that night & she was on the other end...I was so excited. We talked for hours! (Just like the 'ole days.) I flew from CT to San Diego & we spent 3 days getting caught up with each other's lives in La Jolla. It was fun. I'm very glad I went. We left with plans to get together for a week in the Keys after she wrapped some personal business. Then, I just sorta fizzled. I think I wrote about it here several years ago? I'd try to email her & found I didn't have much to say. We go months without writing & then I get an epistle from her. I feel REALLY badly. Barbara's had some extremely tough life challenges in the past five years. She lost her husband to a heart attack & was diagnosed with BC about 2 years ago. She's needy & trusts me as a confidant. That makes me feel obligated & guilty. The problem is I feel like she abandoned me at the most needy time in MY life...when my Mom was killed. She was married w/2 kids & had a life of her own...we'd already started drifting apart. She didn't even attend Mom's funeral nor give me a call to say, "I'm so sorry", & yet my Mom did so much for Barbara. I'm just no longer feeling that old highschool closeness with her. Our lives took such divergent paths. It was that difference in us that was part of the fun as teenagers. She was the traditional one & I was the wild girl bent on bucking tradition. Now, 45 years later...I don't feel the same connection with her...have trouble finding common ground. The relationship feels forced. :(

Then, my old boyfriend! Oh my, he was such a cute puppy at fifteen. Whatever happened to him I've no idea! It's like he never matured past a teenager. He still wants to talk about pony cars & watching the Beach Boys playing on the beach when we were kids. He emails me & can't string five words together that make sense. He's not interested in anything that I care about & expects me to be the same girl I was at fifteen. Thankfully, I'm not! (sigh) I find him crude & the jokes he sends insult me. (deep sigh). I had a wonderful memory of him (very few wonderful childhood memories in my life). This re-connection with him has spoiled & ruined my wonderful memories. It makes me feel sad.

So, I don't think FB holds much fascination, for me. I keep in close contact with current friends & family without FB. Heck, I still hand-write thank you cards & some letters. Email is OK for quick communication but, to me, it's impersonal & rather cold. I don't like it for meaningful dialogues between friends.

So, for now...no FB.

And, I wish I could think of a kind way to make 'old boyfriend' go away. :( I've given numerous hints. He ignores them completely.

I have to deal with my feelings of being let down by Barbara. That is what being 'friends' is all about, right? It's also the right thing to do. It's not that I feel anger, hurt, etc. against her. I just don't feel anything & that makes it hard to be the type of friend she needs now. (ahem) Two wrongs do not make a right. I'll call her tonight.

/tricia

Facebook can be as private as you want, just make sure your settings are done correctly to begin with, and revise them periodically.

I have no interest in finding people from the past, so my FB is for keeping in touch with my adult chlidren, my brothers and a few select people. If I ever change my mind,
I'll adjust my settings or seek out to find certain people.

Tricia,
Your story about your old girlfriend is exactly what I'm talking about. I've had somewhat similar experiences. Example, I ran into an old friend that I used to work with in the mall one day. We chatted a few minutes and exchange email addresses. We emailed once or twice each. End of story. That was about 3-4 years ago.

Another example. Another friend I worked with at one time lives in a different city now. I was going to be visiting that city and contacted her. We got together for lunch and it was too weird how we not only didn't have a whole lot in common, some of the things she said just really rubbed me the wrong way, and clearly the reverse was true. We just weren't comfortable with each other anymore.

I'm actually still friends with several people I was friends with in high school. (I graduated HS in 78 so we've been friends a long time.) When I went to my 10 year HS reunion, I hated it. It was sort of a "relive your glory days" event for the cheerleaders and "popular" kids. OK so what? Well, at least if I'd met up with former friends and really connected... but again, I talked to people I knew, we chatted amiably but somewhat superficially. I mean, beyond the are you married/how many kids/what's your job/etc. type questions, there wasn't much more to talk about. We'd all moved on, and the people I'd really connected with, I was still friends with.

So for me Facebook just seems like more of the same. I mean, yeah, it might be cool to find out what happened to the girl who was my best friend in third grade till she moved away, but after I find out that info, what next? Chances are... nothing.

Oh, and let me just say that it's not privacy I'm worried about. It's more that I guess that sort of thing just doesn't fulfill any needs in my life. That's why I'm interested in seeing if any of the relationships you've rekindled actually led to an ongoing renewed friendship, as opposed to just findiing out about each other and moving on.

Tricia, can't you just block your old bf's emails, or auto delete them?

I can imagine that the very casualness of the contact might be desirable. Kind of like a "Hi there" when you run into somebody, only you don't have to physically run into them. It all depends on how purposeful that "poke" (or whatever) is seen to be. Some people may interpret it as a "Hi there" wave, while others may think you want an ongoing connection.
It might be pleasant to say "how're you doing, nice to see you" with no further expectations.
I think I would rather lurk....

I like Facebook for keeping in touch with several out-of-town relatives.

One high school friend who moved out of state did locate me through it, and we send each other e-mails now. She told me her life story, but I'm not sure I want to tell her mine.

If someone I didn't want to communicate with tried to get in touch with me through Facebook, I would just ignore them. If you don't agree to add them to your "friends" list, then they can't send you messages.

Just wanted to add, when I find an old 'friend' and we exchange emails or messages thru facebook, sometimes that's it if we dont click.

And the good part is that the 'friend' probably feels the same way and then the messages just taper off. You still see what they're up to by the posts but you aren't obligated to post or email them. It's all rather mutual. (in my case anyway!!)

petaloid, if you get a friend request, facebook gives you the option to "ignore" or "accept" ; if I do nothing, it's the same as ignore, but is it insulting for the person who sent the request to get an official notice that they've been "ignored"?
is it better to do nothing?

This thread made me go to Facebook and pop in a few names from the past. Ha! I found a girl who I dated in the 70's. I thought we went to a Styx concert. She messaged right back and remembered me, but she said it was a Hall and Oates concert! Of course it was! I took all my dates to Hall and Oates concerts! She was one of my only regrets in life. Tall, beautiful with a fun personality. Too young and stupid to not realize it at the time. But it was neat seeing her picture. Hasn't hardly aged a bit!

Made me sad to think so many years have past though. She has a son now who was our age when we last went out!

Duane

Mitch they wont get an official notice that they're friend request has been ignored. They just won't receive a notice that they've been accepted as a friend.

Oh... this could make you feel like you're twelve again, and you didn't get invited to a sleepover.

thanks Shaun, I was wondering how it would end ; I bit the bullet and emailed her personally,
after I clicked on "ignore" so I could stop the request from showing up. She was gracious about it and emailed me back.

This same person has been ignoring my request of being removed from her group list , she sends multiple forwards of poems, warnings, etc... so I knew I would not be able to trust her on facebook as a friend.

I still haven't expanded my list of Friends. However, I was Facebooking (is that a word?) some names from the past and came up with someone with whom I'd gone to college. One of her Friends was another person from college that I hadn;t thought about in decades. It brought back a lot of memories. I remembered that one girl had dated a guy whose first name was Gleed. At the time I thought that was the strangest name -- and I still do!

I have found old friends, co-workers, etc but haven't asked them to be Friends.

I've been thinking that I knew a lot of people with names that must be very common.
In college I knew a guy named John Brown. He kept a six-foot long black snake in his room. After all these years I doubt his picture would help me identify him. I'd have to ask about the snake.

I was so happy to communicate with the girl I went out with in the late 70's. She is married...24 years ...and has 3 boys 23, 21 and 16! I told her she was one of my biggest regrets of my life. I guess things happen for a reason. But she was such a sweet girl and I am so happy she found a soul mate, and I told her as that. She didn't freak out. And she did add me as a friend. When we are 16-18 years old the world is wide open, but I remember Gretchen and she remembers me....and that is worth something, eh?

Duane