Oh man. I can see how you are stressed out but please put it into perspective. It is just a house.

There is so much worse that can happen to someone than what is happening to you and people still manage to move on. Like losing a child in a car crash, a fire, a divorce, a flood like with Katrina in New Orleans, war etc. etc. etc.

Please, just cool down. You are already realistic enough to know that moving into your new house by the end of March probably won't happen. So deal with it without having a nervous breakdown.

Find a temporary place to live. What about an extended stay hotel? Are there some of those close to where you live?
Your pets are a problem but they will survive a stay in a kennel for a while, if you don't find any other place for them.

Consider yourself lucky that you will be living in a nice single family home in the near future. In a global perspective, you are one of the very lucky few to be a upper-middle class homeowner in a developed country so just chill out.

i would be moving in the basement now if i had to. you are far enough along to make it work. suck it up and make things happen. building homes is an imperfect science. things happen.

Kygirl99 - Please take this in the spirit given - A little tough love if you will. With all the bad things that are going on recently, you have to choose to ignore most of them.
I know, I know, it's not fair. It's not fair your builder is not up to snuff, it's not fair about your rental situation, and it certainly is not fair regarding your health issues. Please don't think I'm preaching to you. I'm not. But the key thing is to keep your grip on your mental state. I assume you are serious when you say you fear you are losing it.

A little personal story - like you, my wife had a ton of misfortune hit her all at one time. Our first son died, the build was going badly and she developed some serious health issues all in the space of 6 months. I was traveling out of town for work for months at a time so I wasn't much help.

She suffered a complete psychological breakdown. The causes of much of her stress could not have been avoided. But, the worst thing was she focused on the negative and gave up hope. It was the worst thing you could do - once you give up hope you have had it. You're dead but too out of it to lay down.

She refused to ignore the things she could. There were things she could have just brushed off. Yes, the house is important but in the final analysis it is just a house. The rental situation is a pain but ultimately not critical. What is important is that you take care of yourself - mind, body and spirit.

My DW did not care for herself or accept help to the extent she could have. That was 15 years ago and she is has not recovered fully even with all the help and treatment in the world.

Stress kills - sometime fast, most times slow. If need be ignore it.

Crying and screaming by the way are perfectly acceptable and theraputic methods to blow off stress. Do not do it in public though - it scares the cops and you do not want to be guest of the week at the hospital lockdown ward
- don't ask me how I know.

I know you are feeling ripped off. You have been. But please try to just take (lots of) deep breaths.

Best wishes - Doc

Oh, KYgirl, I am so sorry that you're going through so much right now! And even though others have said it's just a house, if you're like me, it's so much more than that because it's also your hopes and dreams. And this combined with your other personal issues must make it seem like your entire life isn't turning out as you would like. But please know that it can and WILL be okay! You will pull through this! If you're serious that you're starting to lose it, find a counselor to talk to. Call a local hospital and get some references. You need to take care of yourself! I'll be thinking of and praying for you!

Hi, Kygirl.

What's going to happen if you don't move out of your rental on 3/31? The worst that can legally happen is they start eviction proceedings. By the time it's realized you won't vacate on that date, you'll probably know when your home will be done. I know that sucks for your landlord, but hey, he didn't give you any notice as the lease requires.

Good luck,

Kevin

Kygirl, yuck what a situation! First of all, is there a clause in the contract with the builder of consequences if the house is not finished in 180 days? Loss of a per diem amount? Second, while I know it all is stressful, I would talk to the landlord and explain that you may need a couple of days etc. THe worse she could say is no. Then, I would call every sub you need to finish. Explain the situation and ask them to work with you to get it down. We are gcing our own and I have had good luck when I spoke to subs and told them exactly what I needed and when. Sometimes I have to wait an extra day but usually not. Call that mason or find him on a jobsite...whatever it takes. Tell him it needs to be ASAP. Then schedule the insulation, drywall guys and floor folks. Make a list and check it off. It will make you feel better as you are actually "doing" something about it and not waiting on that loser builder. Do you have to have a COA to move in since you aren't in a subdivision? You could start moving in without the appliances and have them delivered during the move. Not ideal but doable. Try to take care of yourself. You've been through alot and this is stress on top of that. I'll be praying for you.

Different people handle stress in different ways, with some ways being more painful than others. You do have a lot to be stressed over but from an outside perspective - which may be hard for you to accept - the material aspects don't look very bad at all. Now that's not including the emotional upheaval you're going through for the non-house-related stuff, mind you.

Waiting to get evicted is actually a reasonable plan. I'm a big rule-follower, though, so I'd never be able to do that. If I were in your shoes, I'd plan on putting the pets in a kennel and look into corporate housing. Corporate housing is available in pretty much every major city. It's basically furnished apartments in a regular apartment or condo complex, available by the week or month. There's various local and national agencies that own these units and can help you find a unit.

I'd plan on living in the temporary housing for one month, then moving in at the end of April. Plan on having the movers collect your stuff and hold it for you until you're ready to move in. Check out corporate housing and make a reservation. Call the kennel and make arrangements. It just takes a half-dozen phone calls and a couple hours of time and you'll be all set and feeling much better.

Kygirl99,
I am so sorry to read about your dilema.. I acknowledge your pain.. I went thru the kitchen remodel from HELL.. I was without a kitchen for one year.. The "contractor" was slowwww.. dishonest and just an all round jerk..
My DH was not much help as he traveled alot and didn't like the hassle when he got home.. sooooo .. I too just about lost it.. I had panic attacks.. where I would just end up gasping for breath.. Not until my sister spent a week with me seeing what I was going thru did anybody really get it..
The next week, the contractor was fired.. My floorman was there refinishing the floors and I asked him if he knew anybody that could help finish this job.. I do believe it was divine intervention, for the greatest contractor on earth showed up and had the thing done in no time..
I am saying all of this to you .. so that you will step back for a minute .. take a breath .. and turn this problem over.. I would consider consulting a construction attorney. You might be able to charge this stinkin "builder" for kennel, hotel, etc
I am not a lawyer but be sure that taking possesion of the home does NOT constitute receiving of goods.. or something to that effect..
Prioritize your obstacles.. then tackle them..
Sounds like the animals are the biggest problem..right now, since finding a place that will take 3 big dogs could be a problem.. but trust that it will happen.. look around and a solution will appear..
Do not wait one more second on this builder.. his past performance dictates his future performance..
Get busy .. see what your legal rights are.. and nail this guy if you can..
I wish you the best.. take care of yourself... I will be praying for you too.. Keep us posted..

Kygirl,

Please know that all of us here are thinking of you and hoping that things will get better. You never know going into a build just how good or bad things will be. Some people get lucky and have the best builders ever that will do anything and everything to help you out. Some don't and have the worst time possible. We also lost a loved one to cancer, just last year. It was my husband's stepfather but the only grandfather my children have known on his side of the family and it was really hard.
We've built 5 homes and two have been good, two average and our last was the build from H*ll. Actually, I think I had your builder (ha-ha). I will tell you some of the story, just so you know that others out there know exactly what you are going through and just how stressful it can be.
The builder that we met with seemed great and was highly recommended by our Realtor as a great custom builder to work with and really listened to his homeowners. My husband thought it would be our best build ever as he genuinely like the guy. Our foundation was poured the end of March and then the house sat there for 2 months with not a lick of work being done until the framers showed up at the end of May. We were supposed to close August 15th in time for our kids to start school in the new area. During these two months, we called our realtor every week to see what was going on...I was three hours away from the build site. She would follow up with the builder and he would say everything is fine and that he wouldn't have a problem finishing on time.
Halfway thru framing I get a call from the builder's son. It turns out that he had just joined his father's company and was taking over our project. I later learned his own company went belly-up in northern va. Work on the house continued at a crawl. We received a change order from him for more than $30,000 for changes to the house. $3000 for two sets of french doors in the family room which are clearly shown on our blueprint but he was planning to use sliders, which we didn't know about or approve. Luckily the arch. committe wouldn't approve them and that's how we found out about it. $3000 for a steel beam that the building inspector had him put in over the breakfast room bump out that wasn't shown on the blueprint. Another $3000 (must be his lucky #) for plumbing supplies above what he had spec(ed). I had included my own list of plumbing fixtures complete with brand, model #, and finish as part of the contract and had marked out the speced items, which his father signed off on, and finally $25,000 for a 10x22 foot deck because the back of the house was too high above grade to do the patio that the blueprint called for (which was his fault for not digging the foundation deep enough). Anyway, we refused to pay. Our realtor backed us up telling him we had a fixed cost contract and he had to "eat it", but it took days of fighting and just totally wore me down. I wanted to walk away but we knew that was what he wanted. We were the first to build in this brand new development and the spec houses going up around us weren't as nice as ours but were being listed at $200,000 more and he wanted us to back out so he could relist at a higher price, even though it was OUR house. I had chosen the plans, and every single item in it.
Our house isn't huge by any means- 3000 sq ft. They hired one trim guy and it took him almost three weeks to do the interior trim, nothing else was going on while he was there. Halfway thru July (we had already sold our home in NC and were closing Aug 15) I emailed the son, who was now my only contact, and asked how everything was going to be finished in time for an Aug 15th closing. Trim had just been finished, our 3 car detached garage hadn't even been started and we still had all of the interior finishes to do. He replied something like "Oh, there's no way the house will be ready by then, I'm looking at mid October". He actually ended up dragging it out until November 4th. There were two week periods that the house just sat there and no work was done at all. There was nothing we could do. The penalty clause said something along the lines of "circumstances beyond his control and my realtor stating all he had to do was state so and so sub didn't show up when they were suppose to and there would be nothing we could do. We got a lawyer who made all kinds of promises about getting us the penalty but in the end she caved and we didn't get a dime. We actually ended up paying her hundreds of dollars to write a letter stating we were "demanding such and such amount per the clause" which was a waste of money.
Anyway, the only apt we could find that would rent to us without a lease was a complete dump and 25 minutes from my kids schools in another school district. 5 people in a 2 bdrm 1 bath. All of our furniture went to storage and we bought air mattresses to sleep on.
One child was in elementary school and started at 7:45 am. One in middle and started at 9 am and the other preschool also 9 am. I would drop off the elem kid and then the other two and I would sit in the car until it was time to drop them off. Over an hour. This was when gas was $3.69 a gal so after dropping the little one at preschool I would sit in my car and read a book until he was finished at noon, since I didn't want to spend any more time in the crappy apt then necessary. Once he was out at noon we would go to a small park near our new home and have lunch and play on the playground, pick my elem kid up at 2:30 and then wait in the car until 4, for my son to get out. My daughter then had gymnastic practice three days a week from 5-8 so after driving her to the gym, 15 minutes in the opposite direction, we finally made it back to the apt around 5:45, having left that morning at 7:15. My husband would drive the 45 minutes to pick her up at 8. We did this for three months. I lived in the car for 9 hours a day. We would visit the build every afternoon after school to see what had been done that day - until the builder said that having the owner constantly on site made the subs nervous and I couldn't come anymore unless I made an appt with him ahead of time.
All things must end, even bad things. The morning of closing he sent over a list of charges that we owed -totalling more than 10 grand. He said I was $1600 over on the tile allowance but 3 months before I had an email from him that said $500. I told him to get me an exact figure and I would pay it. He never did until closing and it was greatly exaggerated. He said I was $1600 over on granite. I had found the granite I wanted at the Countertop company on sale in May for less than my $5000 allowance and his father said that it wasn't one of his vendors and he could do better than that on price anyway. My realtor stated that he didn't specify in the contract that I had to use a specific vendor, so that if he didn't want to use this company he had to agree that he would not charge me, if it ended up costing more. He agreed, but guess what? When we reminded him of this, at closing, he said we didn't get it in writing - so they refused to honor the deal and our lawyer said there was nothing we could do. There was a $750 charge for installing the vent-a hood, that I purchased and brought to the site. There was a $2500 charge for being over the allowance on lighting, which we had paid months before. Luckily I had the cancelled check to prove this one. Everything else we had to pay, perboth the lawyer and our realtors advice, or it would drag closing out even more.
I have never been more happy to move into a house in my life and have appreciated it all the more because of all the crap we went through. I also wanted to write letters and complain about this jerk, as well as tell all other potential buyers about the experience we had. But I haven't. Chances are in a couple of years we will get transferred again and I will have to sell this house and I don't want to hurt my chances because there is all this negative info out there about the builder that I put there. So please, consider this if you don't think you will be there forever. You could actually end up hurting yourself in the long run. Also, we were told that he could possibly use any written complaints we make against him as slander it the details aren't correct to the exact degree.
He was actually a really good builder, construction wise and we are happy with the house. But we learned a lot of lessons. I will make certain that I own the lot, not the builder and that I have complete control and the contract will be drawn up by an attorney ahead of time, not a realtor.
I hope you can forget all the pain and aggravation once you move in and can enjoy the wonderful home you've made.

This is a perfect example of why I often give the following advice;

Don't hold your build against dates like birthday, holiday or when you have to move out of another place. The fact is, there is enough decisions and dilemma in a home build that an arbitrary date only complicates things. (I know the date is not arbitrary to *you*, but it is to the build.)

Watch the conversations with the subs. Just like with the other thread, I'm not blaming you for having the conversations as it's only natural for you. The subs on the other hand are displaying a huge lack professionalism. Believe it or not, some of them (or even some online) might take certain pleasure in seeing your feathers ruffled against the builder. It's sometimes like personal relationships where they feel gratified in driving a wedge between you and another person. It's a form of flattery to themselves.

Kygirl,
This isn't impossible--it can be done and on your timetable. You are smart and articulate and will be able to get your gc moving. We too had a do or die deadline (and two big goldens) and it seemed impossible to imagine that they would be able to finish it in time. Especially during the last week. But they did. Yours can to. And you will be amazed at how many details get done in the last 2 days. In the meantime, find a hotel near you (or even a bit away) that will accept dogs (Motel 6) and then figure out how many days you would be there. Give your builder an estimated bill(include gas if it is further away then where you are now). Also get an estimate from a moving company for short term storage. It is very costly. This alone should help.
But bottom line, I've built twice now, and each time the house skidded in just under the deadline. You will too. I would also prioritize; the flooring is more important than the painting, can even be put in while drywall is drying (a drop cloth would protect it). The painting could be done after you are in. Some of these things (not the leak) may end up on a punch list. This is not uncommon, just a pain. Make sure the things you get done first are the things that ensure a CO. Good luck, and I am certain it will work out.
Jo

I'm so sorry! You sure deserve some breaks with all the bad luck you've had thrown at you at once. I know it seems overwhelming right now but in the grand scheme of things, it'll only be a bump in a very long road. We've almost never timed our houses exactly right. The worst case was our last home in San Diego. We had a similar situation where we had to be out of a rental and builder delays pushed the dates back. We had to move 3 times in the span of a month ...I lost 15 pounds due to stress! (I guess that was the silver lining..LOL) We did the Corporate housing route that ACCEPTED animals. There was no way I was kenneling my babies. If there is a Residence Inn nearby they take pets.

We also convinced the builder to let us move some things in early so we didn't have to store anything.

Good Luck and keep on the builder AND the Subs!

Many hugs!
Lindy

Sorry to hear of your problems. I'll be thinking of you. Do something for yourself--non-house related (remember that?) Go see a movie or go to get an ice cream sundae with a friend--whatever you like. Step--back a bit--you'll feel better--promise.

Is your contract with your builder and his dad? If so, have you tried contacting the dad? If they own the business together, he probably would not like the son bringing down the good name of the business.

If there is a LaQuinta near you they also accept pets. And they don't charge for them and they don't have a limit on the number of them either. (We like LaQuintas!)

Have a backup plan to put your mind at ease. There is always a solution and you have some great suggestions by previous posters. I especially second looking into a weekly hotel.

Maybe even look into room-and-board for a couple weeks. Elderly often have extra room, love the company, could use the money, and usually make great 'neighbors'.

On a major move, our house closed 3 weeks late. We had no where to live so we checked into a weekly hotel, enjoyed room cleaning, and went for walks in the city in the evening to get out of the small room. I cooked all our meals in the kitchenette area.

It was stressful. We have animals too. We found several family and friends that could take 1 animal each. When we finally were able to close and bring our 'babies' home, they were more spoiled (and FATTER) than I thought possible.

You can even post on your local Craigslist for someone to board you animals in their home. There are plenty of people unable to work, but who LOVE animals!

The pictures you posted are not as scary as you think. The drywall will be repaired, the painting finished, and this latest catastrophe will be a distant memory when you are enjoying your new home.

Every family should have a lawyer-friend. Perhaps a good strong letter would do the trick.

But what a beautiful bay window you will have! And that arched panel above that bank of windows is fabulous. That is some house!

Good Luck and keep us posted.

ky,

You know what, you GC sucks! But, there's nothing you can do about him right now. However, there are a few things you can do to make this whole situation more manageable. If you just do one of them it might give you some hope that you and DH and the dogs won't be homeless on some major street corner in your town. Well, at least not for very long.... ;) And, I promise if you do find yourself on a corner I make a mean chicken noodle soup and will keep you in ample supply until you can cook for yourself in that fabulous kitchen you've built. LOL

So, here's my list of things that might help.....

1st...Slow down.
someone said, "take a deep breath". It's good advice.

2nd...take care of yourself...
eat, sleep, get a dart board with GC's face on it and have fun. Grab one of those beautiful Goldens of yours and give them the hug to end all hugs. If you really feel like killing GC then call someone or email a friend just to rant, it's ok...do it (that's...ok to rant...not kill).

3rd...prioritize.
if you have the strength make that list and talk to those subs. Remember, they know they're working for the worlds worst GC and I bet will do whatever they can to help you out! Besides, they're probably sick of working with the guy too! Then understand, most of the stuff you mentioned will not affect your certificate of occupancy so you're March 31, date still isn't out of the question

4th... have a back-up plan.
have you thought of renting a nice motorhome and planting it in your front yard (or back) (or side) until the house is livable? If you get one with several pop-outs (some have 4) you can live in it for a week and not be crowded even with all your Goldens (ok, DH can come too if he's nice to you). Just pretend you're camping for a week. Our CC&R's forbid doing that but another trick is our neighbor just kept his RV in their garage during the day and then "camped out" in their house at night.

5th... look how far you've come
building a house can be hell, but don't forget to be proud of your accomplishments so far. You're so close to it being done! I just wish we were!

Kats, GREAT idea about the motor home.

We're all pulling for you, KYgirl!

Kevin

Thanks Kevin,
I actually said that because we might be doing the same thing!
Shoot...walk-in showers, queen beds, gourmet kitchens, 2 LCD TV's, stereo systems. Anybody can rough it like that for a week (or 3).

Here is a link that might be useful:

I am so sorry you are feeling so awful. You need to call your Doc and get something short term to calm you down and decrease your anxiety. Are you sleeping at all? If not, that can really screw you up. I said short term for anyway who wants to flame me here.

You need to find a place to board your dogs and find short term housing for you and dh--to take some of the pressure off. You do not have to move into this house by the end of March (which sounds really unlikely anyway).

But, do not tell your builder that this is what you are doing. Let him think he still has to get the house done.

I'm sorry you're so upset and I think I can relate, sort of. I don't think my GC is a bad guy but he does fib about stuff. I think he just wants to say what he thinks we want to hear. However, DH is pretty pissed off at him and this causes a lot of stress between the two of us.

All I can say is that you need to not keep your feelings bottled up. Tell everyone you know how awful he is. If you go to the grocery store and the check out girl asks you how you are doing, tell her that your GC sucks and is a big fat liar. Seriously, just tell everyone.

Also, try to concentrate on the things you have control over. It's a waste of time and energy worrying and stressing over stuff you have no control over. You need to secure shelter. Number one priority. Get that done and everything else will fall into place. There's always a solution you just have to find it.

I would say all that advice is good so I won't give you one bit more. I'll just give you my best wishes, my sympathy and even though I don't know you, a long distance hug. My fingers and toes are crossed for you.

thanks so much for all the great advice. I really appreciate it. I thought I had all of this under control in january when we were first given the move-out date for our rental. Back then I was saying things like, "oh, the worst case scenario is we kennel our boys for a few weeks and live at my mom's in her spare bedroom and store all of our stuff in the barn, no big deal." but a few weeks can make all the difference in a person's perspective.

I like the idea of the RV quite a bit. I forgot to mention that we have already built our 30'x50' barn on the property and DH is just about a day's work away from finishing the dog run in the barn. So that is definitely a feasible option. I just hate the idea of our boys being away from us. They make me so happy to be around them and I'd miss them terribly and get that much madder at my builder if we were separated.

I do have a slightly funny thing to admit. Our builder knows that I'm a writer and my latest thing is pitching homebuilding story ideas to publications. As I was leaving the job site on Wednesday, I said to our builder, "oh, I've gotta run, I have a deadline to meet for a story." He said, "oh, you're writing a story?" I said, "yeah, it's just a first-person account of my homebuilding experience for XXX magazine."

Which is true. I am writing such an article for an editor. But of course I cannot mention my builder's name due to potential libel lawsuits. But I can still have a little fun with my builder on this one because he doesn't know that I can't mention him.

But since this is a very small town of 10,000 people, word will definitely get around who actually built our house, at least in our town. Everyone here always gets a kick out of my articles since I'm the only writer in our little town who writes for national mags and newspapers. They always seem to make sure that they read all of my stuff and people are always bringing it up in the stores and restaurants. So word will get around. It will be fun. And the legal defense for libel is truth. I won't be writing anything that isn't true and therefore defendable.

Ever since Wednesday, when I mentioned the article, the builder has actually returned my calls 2-3 times a day and he had the concrete guy out there today pouring the pad, the painter doing our exterior doors and the electrician installing our final lights. And he even built the steps from our garage to our house himself, after having them half built for a month and doing nothing to finish them. oh, and he installed the drainage tiles for our basement himself today.

But still, the person who didn't show up was the one we needed most. The brick guy to fix the leak. The builder said he's now coming first thing tomorrow. We'll see. I think the idea of calling him directly is a good one. He really likes my husband, since he's from the same part of Mexico as my husband's dad and they really bonded over that one. So I'll have him call the brick guy tomorrow if he doesn't show up early. I have collected business cards from every single sub on the job.

As they always say, you don't make people mad who buy ink by the barrels. And that's what this guy has done. Not that I buy the ink by the barrels, but the publications I write for do.

My husband and I are now going out for dinner and we'll try to forget the icky stuff for a while. It is just a house and we are very lucky to be building it. It was a gorgeous day of 75 degrees today so all the birds are back. I was standing on the back porch tonight at sunset and listening to the birds chirping as they settled in for the night and the gorgeous sunset on the horizon. It was really a beautiful, peaceful setting and I realized that we are so fortunate that we are going to get to live there. I have always been a glass-half-full kind of person and I refuse to let one bad person change me to the extent I've allowed.

Well, between your first post and the last I feel like I've missed all the excitement! It sounds like you have taken a deep breath and a step back and reminded yourself why you are doing this, which would have been my words of wisdom anyway.

Every single one of us has a breaking point, and it is within reach if we are pushed enough. You are simply there, and you will be alright because people (us, your dh, friends and family) will pull you back before you jump. Believe me, I understand the frustration you are going through.

I had to stop at my builder's office this week after I had sent an email (very carefully worded, full of praise and blowing sunshine everywhere, just wanted to discuss 2 things....)to find him in great desire to have a fight with me. My two youngest children were in tow. No matter how I deflected, he started on another subject just as intent to fight. I finally walked out, my 4 year old melting like the wicked witch in the wizard of oz because of a dropped piece of candy, wrestling and screaming, my builder following me all the way down the stairwell to continue our dissagreement. I barely made it to the car before I low-hosssst it, my son was screaming at the top of his lungs, the two year old was crying because mommy was crying, I'm trying to get my husband on the phone, leaving a message in an 8 year old girl sobbing cry. I screamed at my 4 year old and told him to shutup. Oh.My.Goodness. I have never said that and I've been a mom for some time now. I felt horrible.

My whole point in telling you this is not to steal your thread or anything, just my way of sympathizing. It is difficult to deal with people you don't trust when they are responsible for your single biggest investment ever. I just want you to know that you are not the only person to feel pushed over the edge and that you are losing your mind, around my house it is epidemic. I shut down communication with the exception of email with my builder for this week so I could calm down. It was hard on me, I truly felt I was attacked, and unfairly so. I haven't often been yelled at by a man. My father and brother are very mild mannered, and while I have given my dh plenty of reasons over the last 16 years to let me have it, he has only raised his voice to me once. So I am fortunately unaccustomed.

I chose to be like a cat in a corner licking my wounds for a few days this week. I even stayed away from the construction site. But then I took the kids there this afternoon, looked at the progress with clearing and digging, how beautiful it is there, so peaceful. Saw how much fun we were having traipsing through the woods chasing the deer, and reminded myself why we are doing this...

Good days and bad. Everybody has them. Your GC will make sure this is fixed because it is his job, your pups will be fine even if they are away from you for a short time, and motels are great because you don't have to clean them. FWIW, I am one of the many people pulling for you.

Best,
Amy

You could write a "fictional builder" story based on your "real builder" but....

Let it all go. We all have stumbling blocks in our lives. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move on.I've worn out my fair share of britches to the point of almost laughing at adversity because you know down deep,it's gonna get better.

Your goldens feel your pain, things are going to get better and you will be putting this all behind you and enjoying life in your awesome home.Things are going to be great for you! Keep on keepin'on!

oh, kygirl, I am sending you a big hug. I know exactly how frustrated you are. I certainly was nearly at that point more than once during our build. Looking at your pics, I understand the heartbreak but this too will pass. I hope you reread Doc's posting - it is so true - this is not worth the toll on your body. It is just a house. It will pass, but the toll on your body may not. If they have yoga near you, do yourself a favor and get in a class NOW - it will help you keep perspective during such high stresses everywhere in your life. Check out www.petfriendly.com and other sites that have pet friendly rentals like LaQuinta. They are everywhere these days (I know! I use them a lot. VRBO has a lot too. This isn't exactly a "vacation rental" but who cares? I use them ALL the time. The idea of looking into renting that motorhome or a trailer - great idea. I feel the stress of moving in with your mom, given your stepdad's situation, will be too much on you, especially without your furry friends around - there IS a solution. Maybe the vet's office knows of someone? As I recall your mom is in real estate - is there anyone you could housesit for? Craig's List was another great suggestion - I had to find a short term furnished rental for us and our 3 animals and found just the ticket in a Craig's List posting....it helped us and the owner immensely.

Housebuilding is certainly not for the faint of heart and even those of us who are strong to start with get pretty pummeled in the process, even though we're organized, reasonable, and logical people. I know you can get through this because I did and we've had such similar experiences and love Golden Retrievers! Keep venting - it's healthy!

Dear kygirl,

I won't add anything to the great advice you've gotten above, except to say that I am also thinking of you and sending you the best vibes I can. Your most recent post sounds like you're getting it all in perspective.

One coincidence -- I'm a writer also; from the sound of your post, not as successful as you are. That's one of the professions I got into when I had to give up counseling.

You paint a lovely picture of yourself on the back porch listening to the birds settling in. The birds around here are my therapists, also.

Susan

amy, I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a jerk of a builder this week. that is just awful. I will say that at least my builder has never raised his voice to me. He only does that to men. I hope you find some peace in your build and things get taken care of.

and I had to laugh when you said that you felt like you missed all the excitement between my first and last post. I have to admit, I am a bit mercurial. An ex-boyfriend once told me that I go through more emotions in five minutes than most people experience in a month.

This time, I have my mom to thank for calming me down. After writing my first post, I left the house and spent the day with my mom as she drove with me four hours roundtrip to pick up my butcher block for my kitchen island. (which they'd cut wrong, btw, and it was my second trip in seven days to the same place. nothing is ever easy!) Anyway, I had a lovely day with my mom and she is always able to help me see reality and what really matters.

susanka, thank you! susan, I love that you're a writer, too. it's such a creative profession. I don't count any of my posts here as real writing, so please ignore any bad grammar. I consider internet bulletin boards as my break from editing my writing. it's all about run-on sentences here. :) As for success, I am very lucky to have had a wonderful career at several major publications. Those magazine names are enough to open doors for me back home in my current job as a freelance writer. And I do love writing. I'm actually working on a book on infertility right now, too.

trubee, thank you. you're so right about homebuilding not being for the faint of heart. and for the motels, it's a great idea and worked well for us when we were traveling with the dogs, but I don't know what I'd do with my boys all day while I'm away from the motel. you can't leave them alone in the room, usually as per motel policy but also because a maid might let them out accidentally. and then I can't carry them around in my car all day (although they'd probably love it!) so the kennel is probably the best place for them, or our dog run in the barn if we were able to move into an RV on the site. I wouldn't leave them in the barn if we weren't on site for fear that they'd freak out when they spotted their first coyote or deer. They get very excited when they see even horses and cows so I'm not sure what they'd do with a herd of deer like we often see running through our property.

sierraeast, yep, moving on is important! and my fictional story wouldn't be quite so fictional, would it?!

I am still laughing about my well-timed comment on the article. I like it that he's probably freaking out right now, wondering what I'm going to write.

kygirl, same here on the editing vacation when posting. Re your goldens being excited by farm life: We used to have a wolf/shepherd mix (Orion, long gone now) who went through a (closed) window when he saw a cow knock me over. Luckily, neither he nor I nor the cow were hurt. Good luck on the rest of your build.

Kygirl,
After reading this site for a while I have notices thet builds seem tp fall in to one of three categories the good, the bad, and the ugly. As with alot of people on the site my build falls in to the ugly slot so here's what I do to try and no get "ugly" myself. I work on the things tha I can control like picking out light fixtures or maybe kitchen cabint handles. That being said I like the look of your light in the b.nook. Care to share any info? I find that talking about the good things always makes me remember why I am doing this.

Thanks.

Weepholes should be above windows. But there must be flashing installed directing any moisture to the weepholes. Blocking weepholes may eventually result in the same problem. Your builder should have been checking that the flashing was installed.

Great advice above on alternative living arrangements!

"at least my builder has never raised his voice to me. He only does that to men."

He sounds like just a wonderful Southern peach of a gentleman! LOL!!!
I'm loving the little comment you made to him about writing a story! Actually, it sounds like it may have helped a bit...Hang in there. You really do have a nice place. And that porch of yours- Oh My!

kygirl, could you re-post pix of your house, or tell me where to look? Don't know why I can't find it, but I can't. Thank you.

I am sorry to hear about your misfortune in homebuilding. We, at times, feel we have a crack-smokin' builder and it's frustrating to see him be so type B.

Both husband and I are type A, anal-retentive and it kills us to have a builder who is so mellow, nothing seems to phase him. What I can tell you is that your house will get done and things will be okay in the end. Everything will be alright...you'll see. :)

hmmmm - as you know from when you were in CA, there are doggy daycares/pet sitting services popping up everywhere which could solve the daytime problem. Any out that way yet? Maybe check with a couple of vets? We're also coming up on spring break - maybe there is a family of kids who would petsit daytime for you? Goldens LOVE kids as you know!

As for your building being a southern gent - maybe instead of a yeller he is passive agressive. Who knows which is worse!

No matter, he's not worth thinking about- unless he's just plain agressive, then you could have problems. Especially if you're going to be writing about him!

jojoco, wanted to say thanks for chiming in. I do appreciate your input.

kats, nah, he's not dangerous or anything. he always waits until he's on the phone with the men to be a jerk to them. our painter even said something to the effect of our builder being a pipsqueak and not having the nerve to confront him in person.

trubee, very true about doggie daycare. the only thing is one of our goldens is a rescue and he's very mercurial. like his mom. :) seriously, he can be moody and he's snapped at a few people and dogs before so I don't like to leave him with doggie daycare people. our kennel here is wonderful, however. the owner is a k-9 police officer so aggressive dogs don't worry her a bit.

cookingpassion, thanks. I think perhaps our is a crack-smokin' kind of builder too. I actually joked to him when he didn't call me once for a week that I thought maybe he was in jail. he didn't laugh. then my DH told me that he has been in jail before. guess that's why it wasn't funny. ooops. but heck. how many people have been in jail? not that many that I know of.

worthy, the weep holes are not over a window, but instead over the roof line that juts out for our breakfast room. I'll post a pic below. and there is flashing. lots of it. the builder had the roof guys replace it all, and then add extra, in case that was the problem.

susanka, I posted a pic below of the area where the weepholes are at.

fishpants, yes, a southern gentleman. that's him!!!

mainelystuck, good point. you are right about that!

Here is the pic:

Oh, sorry my font was so big! I was having a problem with my own mouse and thought I was fixing it and actually made the font size here bigger.
I'm back to normal now.....

OMG, I'm happier every day that we are building our house ourselves. I could never deal with the "builder from hell." They'd find him somewhere in the concrete pour!! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

kats,
I was laughing so hard when I saw your post! I figured it was something like what you said. Either that, or waaaayy too much coffee....

Amy

Amy
I did learn how to do it though.....

:)

When I got down here I started visiting job sites looking at the work. Talked to several builders. Found out that they don't have an inspector. One builder has an engineer on call from another county that he pays to make sure it's right.

I asked a few basic questions.

Are you using white or yellow pine? They didn't know

What is the insulation R value you use? They didn't know

Are you using 10, 15, 20 or 25 year shingles? They couldn't tell me.

Why do you use package HVAC units and run ducts thru the wall into the crawl space? They didn't have a good reason.

What's the difference in max span difference when subbing 2X10 joist for 2X12. Couldn't get an answer.

The only builder that could answer the questions was the one that hires the engineer for inspections.

I've just about decided that I'll look for something thats been standing for a few years and is still level without any sagging. If I have to remodel, so be it. I don't need the headaches while working one 40 hour per week job and 25 to 30 hours early mornings, evenings, and weekends working for HVAC Consulting, Inc.

I don't see how anyone can keep from checking into the La La Land Hotel when working with the low level of pride in proformance and workmanship that is running rapid.

Just keep smiling everone! When I get caught up I'll post another episode of "As The Construction Site Turns"

Kygirl,

Run with the mobil home idea. It will take longer to get it done right. You'll be better off with less warranty problems after moving in.

Sounds like you've got your groove back! I didn't even think about your dh's barn. That would work for a bit wouldn't it?

Hey, KYGirl.

I was cruising the web and came across an article about your rental situation that might interest you.

HTH,

Kevin

Here is a link that might be useful: When your landlord sells you out

I just had a quick read of your post and will read the replies when I have time. Don't get me started on builders! Just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through all that. Best wishes.

Kygirl,I can totally relate to you. I have had similar problems as you with our builder. I honestly feel he is the builder from **ll. Since signing our construction contract, I found out most people in our subdivision absolutely despised this builder and had numerous problems out of him.

Our house has been a very slow 8 month building process but we are a few days away from closing. I honestly believe that this house building has taken 10 years off of my life. My husband and I had many disagreements because I wanted him telling the builder of his horrible mistakes, however, it always ended up that I had to tell the builder. Needless to say, the builder and I did have a screaming match and I told him to stop screaming at me but then he denied he was screaming. I had to watch everything this builder did and I still let him get away with lots of mistakes. But we now have done our punchlist and he is repairing things that we wanted repaired, which most were mudd work and painting. I now feel 100% better just knowing that I will be getting this builder and his wife out of our lives. I am counting the days.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. But my advice is stand your ground and make the builder correct anything that could cause you future problems. Lots of luck.

I am not referring to the roof-to-wall flashing. I am referring to the concealed flashing that should attach to the wall sheathing then run through to the brick surface under the weepholes. You can often see it though peeping through the mortar. Builders commonly use 30 mil polyetheylene.
See Brick Industry Association technical note 7 for details.

In any case, this is not your problem to solve. It is the builder's responsibility.

I like to be an informed patient when I speak with my surgeon. But I leave the details of the cutting to him!

Handsome looking home by the way.

Oh, KYgirl--Big hugs coming from me, too. I haven't been on his forum in a while because I've been dealing with our own build from He$$, and I didn't read all the responses in this thread, but I did read your original post.

We've just gone through something very, very similar--different problems, but similar in scope, jerk of a builder, almost no on-site supervision, several horrible subs, lots of stress and tears. It has been horrible. We ended up moving into our house ten days ago while it was still unfinished because of having to be out of our rental, reaching our bank deadline for closing, etc.

I just wrote you a long post, but realized that it ended up being about me, not you--and this is your thread! So, I guess I just want to say that I sympathize with you, and I think I understand a lot of what you must be feeling. It's a good day if I haven't cried more than once before 9 a.m.! This has been the most stressful, unpleasant experience of our lives. Friends will say, "Oh, you must be so excited to be in your house," and I feel like a spoiled brat if I don't respond positively. It has been a nightmare.

There's still lots to be done here, dh and I are doing and/or redoing stuff that we've already paid contractors to do, but they either did a crappy job or haven't been showing up. It just sucks.

As badly as I feel for you, reading your post at least made me feel as though I'm not the only one who has gone through this and I thought you might want to know you're not alone. The old misery loves company routine, I guess!

Take care of yourself, and try not to let it get you down--I know how hard it is, but if we don't look at the positive side, we'll go completely crazy. Although, at least you could then plead insanity when you're charged with killing Mr. Peanut!

I feel so badly for you. I'll make this quick because you have so many replies to read. First, truth is an absolute defense to a libel case - so while I wouldn't encourage you to name names in your story you're not going to be held liable for libel, and this guy is too disorganized to sue anyone anyway. Second, please make sure you have a lien waiver from every sub for all their work, and also from the contractor before you make final payment. I assume your bank has been insisting on this, but please make sure. Otherwise, if the contractor doesn't pay the subs, the subs can put liens against your house. Good luck!! This too shall pass!

I guess I missed this post while on vacation in March.

It may be too late but what is obvious to me is that the leaks can't be due to the weep holes.

When a brick veneer system is interrupted by a horizontal element (in this case a bay window roof) the cavity must be carefully flashed to the outside to allow water to drain instead of entering the house. This means that flashing should start behind the weather barrier then form the bottom of the cavity by passing under the brick to the outside. This horizontal flashing line should be very visible from the outside because it should either form a drip, or have sealant under it or continue down as part of the roof flashing. Otherwise water will be drawn under the flashing by capillary action into the cavity and enter the house.

I learned my lesson about capillary action below brick flashing when an office building for IBM leaked in '81.

In the photo above it is obvious that the flashing was not done properly. Now that the brick is in place it is almost impossible to correct the situation without removing the brick above the bay roof. I was able to seal the brick for IBM with an epoxy sealer because there was a thousand feet of it but for this installation I would cover or replace the brick with siding and move on.

I hope it all works out for you.

thanks, mightyanvil. you're right - it was not the weep holes.

in the end, once we ripped out the ceiling, it turned out the leaks were from poorly installed roofing. the builder only figured this out after the flashing was replaced twice and all of the shingles were replaced and the weep holes filled in it turned out the leak was still there. turned out the roofers when installing the felt paper had nailed right through the wood with nail holes visible on the ceiling (once the drywall was removed). the water was running down and pouring through those holes. not sure why it took so long to figure out, but once they did, we were able to fix the problem and resolve the leak.

it only took about five weeks and lots of drama and delays.