It's been two years...what I've learned, would change, etc...
fishpants
14 years ago
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gopintos
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agocmill1if
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
10 things I've learned as a first year gardener
Comments (26)camp, I didn't realize it either until researching online and on gardenweb. "What are these cabbage lopers of which you speak?" (what the heck is a loper?) ... OHHHHHH, those gross lil green caterpillars I keep seeing. Gotcha! This has been fun to read everyone's input. There are too many gems to point them out individually, but I've learned that not only are garden bloggers really nice and helpful (per thyme2garden) but they are pretty funny, too! It's too bad I try to share the humor with my non-gardening friends and family ... (um, ok, everyone not on here!) and they give me the blank "I don't get it," stare. Such is life. I highly recommend the archived "so you want to grow a gardenia" thread... I read that a few months ago and was CRYING it was so funny. (I didn't even know what a gardenia WAS until that thread.) And it has given me the courage to venture into growing flowers this coming year ... once I make the lasagna beds this fall for spring ... and build a few more trellises ... and flip my compost ... and ask the restaurant down the street for coffee grounds ... and.. and.. and.. :P Oh, btw. The tomatoes are starting (in case anyone was troubled by my plethora of non-ripening tomatoes.) ... The gardening gods like me (at the moment ;) ). Thanks again everyone for sharing - Veronica...See MoreWhat I've learned about Bluestar in 5 years
Comments (9)I have had my BS 36" RNB with grill installed for about two months. So far I love it. It is not perfect but I would buy it again in a heartbeat. The burners are awesome and gorgeous. The oven is huge and accurate. My baking has never been so good. The broiler is terrific. I made some beautiful ribeyes under it yesterday as a change of pace from the grill. The door does not get hot but the kick plate does and so do the knobs. The grill is good but not great. The back runs hotter than the front part so I have to move the food around a bit. I really wanted a grill because we don't have the ability to grill outdoors....See MoreIt's been a while - many changes - need advice
Comments (8)Oh JNM this sounds very hard :-( I can understand why you can't move past it, for now anyway. When you give so much to a person, and they poo all over it, it comes to a point where you've just had enough. It's not that you don't want to reach out/try again/make the effort/put the energy in/etc etc; it's just that you can't anymore. Right? I really understand that and there's nothing wrong with it, don't feel guilty or bad about it! The apology that your SD should give you is a big deal to me; when you do something wrong and you know it, you should apologise. No need to tiptoe around SD and let it slide, why would she have a different set of rules apply to her? Because there's bigger fish to fry? Because of BM? No way. SD knows she's wrong, she'll need to make it right. A heartfelt apology is a good start, and essential if you ask me. My SD15 cannot apologise either, she has never apologised for anything, ever. Over the past year she's done the wrong thing by us several times; loving it when we run around for her, and running back to BM's whenever she doesn't get her way. I haven't posted much about it, because what is there to say about it..really. As long as BM encourages this behavior (this is our situation) SD will not see the need to change. She can run away from problems, go there if something doesn't suit overhere, no need to own up, apologise, nothing. When she comes back she pretends all is good again, just because time has passed. And by the way; we should be thankful for her visit.. One of the biggest reasons that FDH and BM got divorced is because they were never able to work anything out. Any problem they had remained unresolved, so stuff piled up which created bigger problems. BM is not capable of looking at her own behavior, the part she might own in a problem, nothing is ever her fault and an apology is something she only wishes to receive, not give. (This has a lot to do with mental disorder). It was her way or the highway, and that is just not realistic. SD15 seems to adopt the same attitude, maybe because of BM's example, maybe because of situation (2 homes to play out against eachother). Not to say it's all because of BM though, because SD knows very well that BM's behavior is completely unacceptable, selfish and self-destructive. We have also had plenty meaningful conversations just like you guys. SD's understanding of the dynamics even impressed us, but she still continues to behave this way. Therefore we know that she 'owns' it, blaming BM is not going to fly, just like it doesn't with your SD. I'm also at a point where I find it hard to keep going. I want to stay engaged and make the effort, try and talk with SD's, be there for them, guide them, poor energy into all of it, and I too cannot seem to give it at the moment. I've given this a lot of thought because I don't want to give the skids the wrong message. There's a big difference between a bit of disengaging and 'turning your back on them' and I don't want them to misunderstand what's happening here. It's not that I don't care anymore, it's that I don't agree with what they are doing. I cannot change it, I cannot force SD15 to apologise or to behave different, but I can choose my own response to that. So I've decided I do what I normally do (as in tasks around the house) but I keep to myself and I'm not running around anymore. It's simple; I don't owe them anything. If they make an effort to treat us better, I'll go above and beyond for them as well. If not, then I will perform my daily tasks as normal, but nothing more. I don't walk around angry, I just do my own thing and I'm not getting very involved in things they do. They come, they go, that's it. I used to put up with a lot more when they were younger; they were manipulated by BM, they did not understand, I had to try and be the bigger person and suck it up for their sake. But not anymore; now they are old enough, they need to own their own choices and they need to realise that a relationship goes both ways. If they don't invest, then I'm not going to be in it anymore either. I wonder if your SD will be back, I can see where you're coming from when you say you don't think so. How are your boys doing now that SD is out of the house? You gave the impression that they aren't affected by it too much, not in a negative way anyway?...See MoreWhat I've learned I don't know about rose gardening
Comments (18)Thanks for all the responses folks! Mmmm12 I have been grateful that my local rose society values garden growing of roses not just exhibiting, though they tend to emphasize the roses that show well. I'm looking forward to showing them the beauties of OGRs and shrubs and hybrid musks and polys when they visit my yard for a breakfast next June. Berrypie thanks for the encouragement - I consider the humbling experience in other yards as a challenge rather than discouragement. If their roses can look that good so can mine (within reason). Kristine makes that point well that always learning can be a good thing and I want to keep doing so. Carol & Ben - I'll have to check with someone to find out the organic fertilizer recipe they use. They get a local feed shop to mix the ingredients and then they sell it at cost ($25 for 25 pounds which is cheaper than Rose Tone). It's a fine textured powder that smells good and doesn't seem to burn anything. Ben, I appreciate the welcome back and I absolutely love the posts on HMF by Digger Dave and Deb. In my records I keep a one-line summary for each rose about key elements including comments on HMF and here about rose performance. Several of my posts have key Digger Dave comments that I treasure because of their insight and application to my yard. They stopped posting pictures about 2016 as far as I can tell and I'm hoping everything is OK. Sheila - with climate change and more extremes every year I think all of us need to keep learning no matter our location. Things that might have worked 5 years ago might no longer apply and I'm getting much more creative with mulching and watering given our increasingly longer stretches between good rains in the summer. Erasmus, Tututara and Diane - I know that multiflora doesn't like alkaline soils but I find my soil doesn't seem to be too alkaline for it. We have loamy clay so multiflora seems happy enough here, as opposed to places like California (even though it takes an act of God to turn hydrangea blooms from pink to blue here). Dr. Huey seems to fade faster and may be more likely to fail here, but that may be the health of the original plant if I plant body bags. I've had some body bags do fantastic things - World Peace is one I've never seen for sale but the once locally - and it's a terrific rose with stunning colors. Trish - thanks for the good wishes! I've missed posting pictures too and getting the warm responses from people here that help keep me encouraged during the low spots in the gardening year. Moses lovely to hear from you and your comments are gracious as always. I can get away without spraying here because of the "dry" part of "hot and dry Nebraska" in the summer, but I do sympathize with the depth of blackspot problems further east from me. I rather think we're starting to get midge damage out here but it's not bad enough to cause undue grief. Japanese beetles - well, I just don't expect any actual blooms in July any more. As for the equivalence of a 3-4 year old own root to a grafted younger rose, it seems entirely plausible. The robust HTs and flori own roots that I have bloom pretty well and since I have to bury the graft I figure that most of my established grafted roses have gone own root over time. I still love buying own root roses and we have fantastic vendors like Roses Unlimited and Long Ago Roses and Northland and High Country Roses and Burlington and Antique Rose Emporium and ... well you get the picture. I don't hesitate to buy from any of them for any roses that I want that they sell. It's just that I look elsewhere first for the HTs and floris now in grafted form. Even this past two years I've bought some own root HTs that have done fine and I'm sure I'll continue to do so in the future. I just have to temper my expectations and know that I'm zone pushing when I do so. Speaking as a zone 5 person who still grows one long-surviving tea (Maman Cochet) I'm quite familiar with the hazards but potential joys of zone pushing. Cynthia...See Morefishpants
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