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Am I right to be annoyed or am I just being a crappy daughter??

8 years ago

Ok, so I'm 30 years old, married for 12 years with two kids. My mother moved right next door to me about 5 years ago and it's been pretty annoying ever since.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very much but she asks for a lot and she's very lazy and the biggest drama queen ever. But now recently she's had some medical issues and last year in August, she said she couldn't hardly walk and needed to go to the ER, so of course I took her.

After many tests, they couldn't figure out what was wrong. She slowly got worse but was still able to drive and do things on her own but needed a cane to walk with. Of course, I'm not THAT crappy of a daughter, I help(ed) her out as much as possible.

But in early Feb of this year, she finally got a diagnosis of what is wrong with her, avascular necrosis, meaning her hip bones are not getting the blood they need and are dying. She needs a hip replacement. But doesn't have health insurance so she can't get it. Her doctors told her she'll have to wait till Sept of this year when she turns 65 and is eligible for medicare.

Ok, but the point I'm getting to is that as soon as she found out what it was exactly that was wrong with her, she immediately said she couldn't drive anymore that it was much too painful, when before that she was taking herself everywhere, so I'm stuck taking her wherever she needs to go.

I know I sound like a horrible person but you'd have to know my mom. She's very lazy and will stay in bed ALL day long, she's never liked cleaning and has always had a messy house since I was a child. But that's not the problem.

I just feel like, how could she be taking herself wherever she needed and then as soon as she knows what's wrong with her, she can't drive or go anywhere or even make it down her own front steps alone??

I've been to her drs appts with her and her drs say that this disease is slow progressing and she should be able to wait till sept to have surgery so in the mean time they're just focusing on pain management. And she takes sooo many pain pills everyday. And says they still don't take care of her pain.

Now the reason I get so annoyed with her is that she'll stay up all night long (I know because she'll be sharing, posting and commenting on things on Facebook) and then complain in the morning.

Let me give you an example, she had an appt this morning at 10 am to get an iron infusion. She was up very late last night (I know from seeing her facebook) and then texts me this morning that she rescheduled her appt for 1pm this afternoon because "she is in such a bad way this morning and can't hardly move and had such a terrible night"

I had a lot of thing to do this afternoon and I told her that and she just gets all mad at me like I just don't want to help her at all when I take her to all her appts and cook and clean for her. Do her grocery shopping and everything.

Now am I wrong to feel like she's exaggerating on her pain level just so that she can have people do everything for her? She's always said she never knew why old people wouldn't want to live in nursing homes cause she would love to live in one and have everything done for her.

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