It is early spring. Every year it is the time when a ton of "be priveledged enough to design my no budget elaborate landscape for free" threads come out. I don't think it has changed much since the mass exodus a few years ago. Many of the fun and informative personalities have taken up blogging as individuals and in groups rather than in open forums. That is good because it is a source for focused writings that stay on point and don't become corrupted. Those are great sources. Open forums are a totally different animal where we are all subject to other people's comentary and a greater degree of vulnerability. There is some discomfort in that and certainly a lot less control of where threads will lead. Sometimes a consensus of nonsense builds, but the openess is what it is all about. I really like it because it lets me know when I am not doing a good job of communicating, it points out when I'm wrong, and other people interact and reshape my perspective continually. Yes, there is a lot of stuff that is not worth reading or that is just plain annoying (myself included, I'm sure). It just depends what you want to get out of it and what you want to put into it. It is a difference between reading or writing and true interaction.

Geogirl has a good point. There may be services available to your son--but you have to know about them and ask for them in order for him to get them. Again, my nephew's disability is physical, so not an exact comparison to your son, but he is also completely mainstreamed. And that has caused some problems, because he's not in a special ed classroom with a special ed teacher who knows about all the resources. There's a ton of adaptive equipment that the school has, like rulers and compasses and protractors, but no one thinks ahead that during math lessons that use these, it might be a good idea to have them in the classroom for Nephew to use. He can't hold or move a standard ruler very well. But the classroom teacher doesn't know they exist, and the special ed teacher never sees the lesson plans. So what happens is that a week is spent sending notes back and forth between home and school and finally the necessary adaptive equipment is identified and located and given to Nephew. And then the next week, the class moves on to a new lesson topic. My brother and SIL have found that they need to really be on top of some of this stuff and remind the teachers repeatedly, to make sure that Nephew gets what he needs. And this is with a school system that is really trying to work with them--from the start they have been very willing to try new things, to keep Nephew in a regular class (he has health issues so a home nurse accompanies him to school daily), to really try and get him the best education possible. I can't imagine what it would be like with a school system that had less money or no desire to really work for Nephew. My brother constantly gets, "Sure, we have X equipment. All Nephew has to do is ask for it." But it can takes days or weeks to find out the school has the equipment. My brother finally broke down and asked for a list of every single piece of adaptive equipment the school system has, so that they can ask for things without spending days sending notes back and forth. It's the little things like this--yes, the school can help, but you have to know what to ask for in order to get that help. And if you don't know the help exists, it's pretty near impossible to get that help. I would encourage you to ask about other options and find out what's out there. Pull-out sessions, one-on-one aides for certain subjects, extra tutoring, whatever the school has to offer. Ask other parents what support services their kids are getting. And when you identify a specific problem, be it that it takes your son half an hour to figure out what the homework assignment is or that after weeks of your working with him, he still is not grasping a specific concept, go to the teacher and ask what can be done to address that issue. The regular classroom teachers aren't going to know everything that's available, they have too many kids with too many different needs in one classroom, but they should be able to help you find out what's out there, or point you in the right direction.

We were having a similar problem with my SD8. She was spending hours every night to get a half an hours work done. She would rush through, bring it to DH, he would check it. All were wrong. He would erase them and send her back. This would go on until bedtime and he was getting frustrated with her. When he would get really frustrated, I would step in and check it. She would then start getting them right and get done. So, I thought about it and figured, maybe she's doing it to spend time with dad and even though he was getting frustrated and it wasn't 'good' attention, she was still getting his ongoing attention when she did this. We sat her down and told her that she can bring her work to me if she doesn't understand it and I will help her. When she is done with her homework properly, dad will spend time with her playing a game or watching tv/movie. We also told her that if she doesn't get it done by dinner time, she has to take it to school 'as is'. The other kids in class correct each other's work and she doesn't want anyone to make fun of her for getting it wrong. She is home for almost three hours before he gets home from work, so almost overnight, she started getting all her work done well before he got home. She does bring it to me when it's done to check it but usually doesn't need help. Now when he gets home, they can spend time with fun activities instead of him being frustrated, thinking she doesn't understand anything from school and she isn't getting the negative attention. With an 11 year old, I would find out what motivates him. Every kid has something they value enough to change their behavior for. It could be TV, phone, computer, riding bikes, etc. just pick the one thing that he would not like to lose and use it to motivate him to get it done. It has to be something you can follow through with. Right now, I am having trouble getting my 18 year old son to follow our rules (he thinks because he's 18, he has NO rules) so he is doing better after I told him that he won't be allowed to use the car. He likes the freedom of being able to go see his friends when he wants. If he's capable of doing the work and just doesn't want to, then he needs to be motivated. If he doesn't understand it, then that's different.

I wouldnt cram it in all in one weekend if she is telling the truth. You have a child with documented issues and an IEP the teacher should have been more on top of her game of informed you/her of the change in circumstances. And personally I dont really give a crap what teachers and so called ESE specialist have to say with regards to my child. Their first response in every meeting is medication followed by well we are helping him this day and this day... not good enough. I went into the IEP meeting with a list of things that I wanted in the IEP. I refused to take no for an answer and made sure the teachers followed through. A visit with the principal twice ensured that we havent had to many issues since with not following the IEP. You know your child best and if you feel the same progress could be accomplished with less homework demand. They dont get the final say... you do. And on a side note ... the amount of work does not equal quality of the work. One or two problems highlighting the important components that are supposed to be learned can be just as effective as twenty.