This story is painfully familiar, so I will tell you mine and hopefully it can help you. Hindsight does help here. I went through the same thing with my now 19 DS. He was always an A student, very bright and scored very highly (98th%) on standardized tests. He was identified as gifted in second grade. Socially had some problems all the way through school. He was the "nerd" if you will, not the popular kid! Anyway, his junior year we started to see his grades take a severe tumble. At about the same time, I received a phone call from a teacher who was concerned because he hadn't turned in any assignments and the teacher had warned him. The end of the semester was approaching and rather than fail the teacher was willing to accept his assignments late and grade at 80% instead of the 100%. Better than nothing. I talked with DS to find out if anything or anyone was bothering him and he said no, but wasn't able to articulate why he wasn't able to follow through with handing in his homework. He took his semester exams and scored 96, 98, etc on all of them! He also received a 33 on his ACT exam yet was practically failing in school! Something didn't add up! There was such disparity between his everyday school work and his exam grades. Depression came to mind, but I was at a real loss as to what was going on. Nothing was changing even after speaking with him. I was so concerned and frightened. Ironically, my husband had received an invitation from his boss to attend a fundraising dinner for a private school in our area that educates and supports kids with dyslexia and ADD and ADHD. MY DH's boss gave a very moving speech that night about his own son and the struggles they had had. They had sent him to military school, and also had an intervention of sorts where counselor's actually came at 4:30 in the morning to take him away for treatment. The reality of all this was that their son was not 'bad' or 'acting out', but was instaed finally diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with ADHD. Not something that the parents had ever considered. I sat listening to this with tear's in my eyes because EVERYTHING sounded just like my DS! I started going to websites to learn more. In the back of the program from that fundraiser was the name of a psychologist that specialized in adolescents with ADHD and he was in my area. Until then, I had never considered it because my DS was not loud and hyper but rather passive and quiet. I made the appointment and after some diagnostic tests and talking, my son had the diagnosis of inattentive ADHD. And boy, did he fit the bill! Inattentive is a great word for him. The next step was finding a medication that worked for him and this took some time. Not always easy, but we spent the better part of a year trying to find something that worked. There are lots of categories out there! I tell you my story because just like the night I attended that fundraiser, I had never considered ADD either. In fact, most teachers don't either. They don't always have the time with so many kids to teach. Things DO jump out at me now about him. He is extremely forgetful, a big hallmark of inattentive ADD, thus forgetting assignments etc. I even told the Dr. that when DS was little we nicknamed him "The absent minded professor"! His reaction was "BINGO"! His senior year DS applied to 5 colleges. He was rejected from all but one! Today he is in his sophmore year at Case Western and we take it one semester at a time. So far so good! So, just like the night the angels led me to that dinner or our stars were aligned or whatever you want to think, I hope you will consider my story and start a conversation with your family doctor. You have nothing to lose! Good luck to you and your DD!

We were having a similar problem with my SD8. She was spending hours every night to get a half an hours work done. She would rush through, bring it to DH, he would check it. All were wrong. He would erase them and send her back. This would go on until bedtime and he was getting frustrated with her. When he would get really frustrated, I would step in and check it. She would then start getting them right and get done. So, I thought about it and figured, maybe she's doing it to spend time with dad and even though he was getting frustrated and it wasn't 'good' attention, she was still getting his ongoing attention when she did this. We sat her down and told her that she can bring her work to me if she doesn't understand it and I will help her. When she is done with her homework properly, dad will spend time with her playing a game or watching tv/movie. We also told her that if she doesn't get it done by dinner time, she has to take it to school 'as is'. The other kids in class correct each other's work and she doesn't want anyone to make fun of her for getting it wrong. She is home for almost three hours before he gets home from work, so almost overnight, she started getting all her work done well before he got home. She does bring it to me when it's done to check it but usually doesn't need help. Now when he gets home, they can spend time with fun activities instead of him being frustrated, thinking she doesn't understand anything from school and she isn't getting the negative attention. With an 11 year old, I would find out what motivates him. Every kid has something they value enough to change their behavior for. It could be TV, phone, computer, riding bikes, etc. just pick the one thing that he would not like to lose and use it to motivate him to get it done. It has to be something you can follow through with. Right now, I am having trouble getting my 18 year old son to follow our rules (he thinks because he's 18, he has NO rules) so he is doing better after I told him that he won't be allowed to use the car. He likes the freedom of being able to go see his friends when he wants. If he's capable of doing the work and just doesn't want to, then he needs to be motivated. If he doesn't understand it, then that's different.

One value of homework that no one has noticed, though they've spoken about it: "Hopefully, that child won't come home with homework that s/he needs a little coaching for. " and "Others will take it home, but since they forgot the lesson in class, they are unable to complete the assignment, which just leads to frustration." A crucial part of homework is that it provides FEEDBACK FOR THE TEACHER. If the kid takes the homework home and can't complete it, she knows he forgot the lesson they learned in class, and she needs to find another way to get it into his head. She also knows that neither she or the kid will get much help from the kid's parents, and she can try to teach w/ that in mind. She also knows who misunderstood what about how things were explained--and who got it the first time, and therefore doesn't need further coaching (thereby freeing her up to help the kid who does). I have a bright kid who does her homework almost totally by herself (at least I think she does, though a few times I've heard her say things about her after-school teacher that got me worried--I think when she gets lazy Ms. Napier tells her the answers; but I know that she can do it completely alone, because she does at home.) I don't think the debate aobut why homework is important is exactly the same conversation about whether parents should be involved, or pay attention to their child's learning strengths or weaknesses.

The gas company may not be happy with letting your account go into arrears, and charging you a late fee on your next bill. I suggest that you call the gas company (customer service, or billing) and explain that a pet mangled the bill. Likely, they will inform you of the amount and where to mail the payment. When you make this call, it would be prudent if you could have a past bill in hand to retrieve information such as an account number. Expect to be "encouraged" to change to automatic payment directly from your bank account. You'll probably want to resist this.