Yes, I often felt overwhelmed by the demands of homework for two children. The teachers said the normal homework time expected was 10 minutes for every year of the child's grade level so 4th grade = 40 minutes but in our case it was often more than that because I have a very slow and detail oriented child. Some nights it seemed that I did more of the work than my daughter, many projects involving cutting, pasting, laying out book reports to look like real book jackets with liner notes. Making tea stained pages and burning the ends to make them look like real colonial era parchment, etc. I don't know what these things had to do with the material, sometimes it was just busy work and all the running around to collect craft items, not to mention the expense. It made me mad but there was no "opt out" of homework unless we tried another school. It got a lot better when she entered high school and needed less hands on help. At that point we could see how all the help we'd given her earlier really taught her how to study and how to organize. The kids now are expected to know more at younger and younger ages. I don't know if they're all really capable of it developmentally but much more is expected of them and the parent's end up working almost like teachers at home at night, at least that's how I felt when I was in the middle of all that. It is exhausting.

Jan, I also have a son on the spectrum in a mainstream classroom. For us the key to him working independently was keeping the assignments the same from week to week. This means talking to the teachers and telling them you are going to modify the assignments. If spelling looks the same from week to week you won't spend so much time explaining the directions. Do you have a behavior therapist that you work with? Ours was great at figuring out ways to make homework go smoother. My son is a perfectionist so writing anything took too long. He needed to make sure every letter was perfectly formed and spaced. Doing writing assignment on the computer solved that problem. Figure out what you need to make it work then talk to the staff. Hopefully they will work with you.

An hour and a half of homework per evening is too much for a 4th grader! And that is with you helping. Imagine how long it would take if you didn't!

Many years ago I taught 5th grade in a small rural school in Upper Michigan, a dream job, with delightful children. It was my first experience with the "lower" grades. And I dutifully piled on the homework - math, spelling, language arts, history, science, etc. During my first parent-teacher interviews, which were in November, a couple of parents mentioned politely that their children were having trouble managing the workload at home. I told them that I would think about this. Then I went to my principal and asked him if he'd heard any parents complaining about me. He said that indeed some had mentioned the amount of work assigned. I asked him why he hadn't told me, and he replied that it wasn't his business to interfere with my teaching style. So I asked what he thought was appropriate and he answered that for 5th grade, about 40 minutes altogether was good. On rare occasions perhaps a bit more. So I changed the way I taught, with more in-class time on arithmetic, a different approach to social studies, and I enlisted my science-oriented husband to help me make that subject more memorable in the classroom.

Have you asked other parents how they are managing and what they think? Have you had a chance for a meeting with the teacher? I guess not, school has just begun, hasn't it. I would certainly bring it up.

Most of my teaching career has been in foreign language and in that field we know beyond any doubt that after a certain length of time, the law of diminishing returns sets in, as the brain can only absorb so much before it produces negative results. Children need plenty of time to play, relax, do their family things. And even the most conscientious parent should not be frazzled by the demands of the school.

And yet we rank low in the world market for how well we are educating our children. Other countries homework is three hours or more. Visit with the foreign exchange students..they think we are a joke. What is the goal of education? Too many sports/video games/ activities are the issue not time spent learning. Students with educational challenges is another story all together but by and large families need to start putting a value on education. Other wise all the tax money poured into the schools is a huge waste!

I have a third and fifth grader, neither of them are special needs, so I cannot comment on that. But you are your child's best advocate. If you feel there is a problem, go to your school and voice your concerns!

Jan, as part of your son's IEP he should have homework modifications. The teachers should be able to modify his work so it is a reasonable workload for him. As an example, he might need to do every other math problem (to make sure he gets the main concepts) or he can just read and skip the journal entry as long as you sign off on him reading. The teachers need to hear from you that homework is an issue, because otherwise they just don't know. They are not looking for homework to be difficult, so you need to let them know. They can't act without communication from you.

judith - Thanks for the reply. I've heard of the 10-minute rule per grade level. I think it's possible that a very good 4th grade student could get the work assigned in my son's class done in about an hour. My son takes longer because of his special needs. Many times the assignments seem to be more than what a child could accomplish without significant parental involvement. I imagine families with multiple kids in elementary school would be extremely busy with outside assignments.

nan53 - Yes, consistency is a big deal. Spectrum kids prefer it, that's for sure. Our son has had in-home therapy 20 hours per week for the past 18 months. In addition, he receives speech and occupational therapy. Just recently he "graduated" out of the in-home services. But when he was receiving it, homework time was encroaching a lot on his social/behavioral therapy time. Even the professionals commented on the amount of homework. Our son's IEP does provide for the use of a computer for writing assignments.

sable - I applaud you that you listened to feedback from parents and the principal about homework time and made adjustments accordingly. We have talked to another parent of one of our son's classmates, and the mother said they've had to change their whole nighttime routine because the reading assignments now include a mandatory writing component. She also thinks the homework is a lot, but it seems most parents are reluctant to say anything. We do have a meeting scheduled with the classroom and special ed teachers this week.

arcy - We totally value education. The problem we have is the effectiveness of large volumes of homework at the elementary school level. I know for a fact that our son is not absorbing the information very well at 7 p.m., after having been in school all day. A recent study revealed that the volume of homework has no effect on kids' test scores in elementary school. And, there is the law of diminishing returns - at some point as the volume of homework reaches a point, the benefits of more homework begin to diminish. I personally think the solution is to use class time more efficiently.

Here is a quote related to a Penn State study:
"Instead of improving educational achievement in countries around the world, increases in homework may actually undercut teaching effectiveness and worsen disparities in student learning, according to two Penn State researchers.
Most teachers worldwide are not making efficient use of homework, said David P. Baker, professor of education and sociology. They assign homework mostly as drill, to improve memorization of material either in math, science or the humanities. While drills and repetitive exercises have their place in schooling, homework may not be that place."

paintergirl94 - Yes, we have a meeting scheduled, and this will be discussed.

geogirl - Our son's IEP states that homework is to be limited to the essentials. Well, if this is the reduced load, I can only imagine what the full load must look like. He is permitted to type (vs handwrite). And, we do sit with him to complete everything. He's not able to work independently yet. The school keeps stating that in 4th grade the kids need to be more independent, but that's just not our reality at this point. Plus, our son feels very overwhelmed with the homework, and we have tears and struggles to get through it. So, it's taking a toll on our family life, that's for sure. We'll be discussing this with the teacher this week at our meeting.

I was just curious if anyone else has ever felt this way. I realize our situation is different because of our son's special needs than many people's situations. But, it does seem to me that other families feel overwhelmed with it too, yet no one wants to vocalize it.

I'm seconding (thirding?) looking into homework modifications. Talk to the teacher first, but do address this through the IEP process.

My nephew is physically disabled (he's in 5th grade). He can do the work, but the time to write out even one sentence or cut out one spelling word is much, much longer than the average kid his age, i.e. it takes him about 10 minutes to print his first name, which has 5 letters.

His modifications include doing every other math problem, using the computer to type up some assignments, recording his answers to some problems and emailing the teacher a voice file, and using a scribe (usually his home nurse but sometimes a parent) to write down his answers to other assignments. It's all about making sure he knows the material, but not letting his disabilities get in the way of completing the assignments.

Jan, I understand exactly what you are going through. It wasn't until my son's therapist did homework with him that I realized it didn't have to be so excruciating. But it still has challenges, those big projects are the worst! I hope you will be able to regain some family time. Let us know how your meeting goes. Nan

Jan, I think we are far enough into the school year that modifications are in order, I would work with the staff to modify the IEP now. My 7-year-old is on the spectrum. The first thing I try to keep in mind is that he spends all day trying to do what is asked of him, working hard at interacting. When he comes home, he needs some down time.

Writing is not my son's strong point, so when we go over spelling words, we review them orally (often with him jumping at the same time but that is another issue). For reading, I now have him read the story twice but not in one sitting, to make him focus on enunciation more. Math he often does on his own and quickly. However, there are some assignments that tend to use far too much language for the math concepts and I use my discretion on whether or not we just skip those and I talk to the teacher the next morning (i.e. with time, there was one assignment that used half past, quarter past, etc. He likes precise numbers, such as 6:30).

More work definitely does not make one well educated or well-rounded.

I know about that Penn study and totally agree with it. Kids get way too much homework that is just busy work and they do not get anything out of it. Most of my DS's homework while he was in elementary school was just worksheets. It was a complete waste of time. Our elementary schools actually did some experimenting after that study came out. We had a month of the usual homework (assigned each day and due the next day), a month of NO homework (except daily reading), and a month of all homework assigned at the beginning of the week and due on Friday. With that last method, student could plan how they would do their homework given what they knew they had to do and other outside activities (sports, clubs, family time, etc). After this was over, the school did a survey to find out what parents wanted. I voted for no homework (except daily reading). The weekly plan was what won out. That was better than the nightly homework due the next day.

Now, my DS is in middle school and I like the homework arrangement much better. Most homework is project work, not just mindless worksheets. They have to read books and write reports, do research projects, etc. They learn from doing these types of projects, not from doing worksheet after worksheet after worksheet until they can't see straight.

My understanding of other countries with better education is they do not get homework, but their school day is longer.

Of course education is important. But, there has to be a balance. And activities outside of school and homework are educational in other ways. I compeltely agree that kids should not be sitting on the couch watching tv, playing video games and texting their friends for hours upon hours. But, the solution to that is not mindless worksheets to keep them busy.

We have a child who always had reading difficulties (thanks to whole language philosophy - who ever thought that was a good idea didn't have a child with reading issues) and homework was always a chore. We did get through it, finally. And whole language reading only lasted two years in our school system.
Our school system has of this year has put limitations on how long homework should be for each grade in elementary school. But it is a flawed idea. So the bright kid gets all the homework done in the alloted time but the child with problems only gets half the work done in the same time - so does one child get rewarded and one child penalized by the teacher. Don;t know how this one will work out.

jan - what I do want to say is that when your kids are out of highschool you will discover,(finally) when talking to the other moms, that they are all just as frazzled as you are. I always assumed that everyone else had perfect kids who patiently and obediently sat down and did their homework, their chores, made their bed etc. It turns out that isn't the case. There should be a support group for both working moms and SAHM (like me) to vent, get ideas, (practical ideas not theories) and acknowledge that your kids are not perfect. Mine definitely were/are not.

And arcy - there is education to be found in both sports and other activities. Maybe not video games - but children need physical activities, art activities, dance etc just as much as formal education. I don;t know about your school system but funding for those things have all been cut from our school system and it is now up to the parents to also fit those things into after school hours (and pay for them).

camlan - It's validating getting this feedback, and my DH is firm about wanting more homework modifications. I've been waffling, as I don't want our son to fall behind either. Your nephew's situation is a perfect example of how well accommodations can improve the learning experience for kids with disabilities. Great ideas!

nan53 - Thanks so much. I will keep you posted on how the meeting goes. There must be a better solution, because this is just not working.

tish - ((hugs)) I know you understand all of this, since you have a little one of your own with similar issues. Kids on the spectrum are trying so hard all day to hold it all together. The social situation anxiety and sensory overload they experience during the school day create the need for "downtime" in the evening to decompress and recover for the next day. Writing is not our son's strong point either, and we have it written in the IEP that he can type responses when possible, etc., or circle answers rather than write them. The computer is a Godsend!

jill - So glad you heard about the study. Whenever I find something like that, I try to make a note of it and share it with the school staff. I'm sure we probably have a reputation of being anti-homework at the school, but . . . if it's not helping or we're experiencing the diminishing returns, then it's possible all this stress is unnecessary in the first place. The worksheets are quite repetitive and seem to focus a lot on memorization vs. conceptual understanding. Many times our DS doesn't seem to know the concepts very well, and we spend a lot of time teaching him what we wish he was picking up on more in school. At night, he's tired and not able to focus and absorb new information easily.

blfenton - I'm surprised to hear about your school system's limitations on homework time. You make an excellent point about the length of time it takes kids with special learning needs to complete a task as compared to the typical kids. I appreciate your candor about other parents feeling the same. In my experience most won't admit to having these thoughts. Everyone puts on the front that they're managing it all - no problem - they're super parents after all.

Seriously, I'm spending 30 minutes reading through the information sheet just to figure out what is exactly required.

If it takes an adult half an hour to figure it out, then it's too much!

My grandson is in third grade and has approximately 1-1 1/2 hours of homework each evening as well. His mother is a teacher and works with him but says it really is a struggle. She plans to meet with his teacher this week.

I understand the need for some homework, but I believe that there is an excess of homework being assigned to young students. The parents are becoming the teacher, not that this is all bad, but adds stress to the family evenings. By the time supper is made and eaten, homework completed, it is time for the child to go to bed! I firmly believe that younger children need time to wind down from school and have a chance to be "kids". They will grow up soon enough and have responsibilities the rest of their lives. I know that by the end of the week my grandson is totally exhausted.

I agree that kids have too much homework! I used to bring this topic up during parent teacher conferences all the time when my kids were in elementary level and was told point blank that most parents think their kids don't have ENOUGH homework. We were a busy family with many outside activities: sports, scouts, dance, church, etc. I wanted my kids to have time to enjoy being kids. I felt that homework was fine when work was not finished during class time, for kids who were absent or behind or for special projects or test reviews. I also felt (still do) that the educational system has my kids for 7 hours a day. That should be enough to get it done.

Not PC or very popular, but there you have it.

"By the time supper is made and eaten, homework completed, it is time for the child to go to bed! I firmly believe that younger children need time to wind down from school and have a chance to be "kids". They will grow up soon enough and have responsibilities the rest of their lives."

Yeeeah, I agree. I don't have children but the people I know with young kids have large amounts of homework every night. I think it's ridiculous. I agree to let them be kids and I don't mean video games and cell phones. A lot of times both parents work and I can't imagine the hectic evening schedule. Nothing says quality family time like working on math.

I don't recall having the same volume of homework as a kid. We were given at least little bit of time at the end of class to work on our assignment.

While I agree my son gets a lot of homework also, I think that what has been replaced by "free time", are the sports and activities all our kids have now. I know when I was in elementary, I didn't have all the activities that are available now, so I had more free time. I say this, knowing my son is in baseball and hip hop dance at the moment, but his other friends have even more, AND more kids in the family. My one child keeps us busy, but I think it is important for us to eat dinner together at least 4 times a week, so we don't put him in anything else.

My DS is in 2nd grade, and there has been a BIG jump in homework from first to second grade. There have actually been parents talking to his teacher about how much homework they are assigned.

I also forgot to add that teachers are taught nothing about what type of homework is beneficial and what is just busy work (ie, waste of time). This was one of the topics that the study talked about. My DD is 25 and is a 3rd grade teacher. I think she was still in college (maybe a senior) when that study came out. We asked her if any of her courses taught anything about homework and what type of homework was beneficial and what wasn't. Nope, nothing. Not a single class about homework. Nothing to teach teachers how to devise homework to make it useful. This is crazy.

Well thanks everybody for listening to my vent about this. We met with the classroom and special ed teachers, and they are agreeing to allow DS to have reduced work at home and more time in school to get it done. We worked with him so much this past week on simple subjects and predicates, and he ended up getting a 68% on the test. :o(

I'm worried about him falling behind, but keeping up seems to require a heroic effort. We'll keep trying as much as possible to work with DS at home.

Again, I appreciate your thoughts.

I'm glad that your son will have reduced homework now! Great! However, if your son is still struggling with the material, he may need additional special education services. There is a huge difference between struggling to finish work and struggling to learn material. He should not be struggling. There are a lot of "tricks" that kids can use to do well on tests, but a teacher needs to understand what the child needs and then implement it.

My suggestion is that you find other parents in your school district with older kids who are on the autism spectrum, similar to your son. Find out how their kids are doing and what services they have. Do they have pull out programs for english language/reading? Can they modify his tests? Sometimes just changing the structure of the test he takes can make huge difference.

The bottom line is that you should not be having to spend hours at home with him; and then when you do have him still do poorly. These kinds of services are expensive, so many schools are reluctant to give them.

Connect with other parents and try and determine what other services your school offers while continuing to mainstream him. Good luck!

Geogirl has a good point. There may be services available to your son--but you have to know about them and ask for them in order for him to get them.

Again, my nephew's disability is physical, so not an exact comparison to your son, but he is also completely mainstreamed. And that has caused some problems, because he's not in a special ed classroom with a special ed teacher who knows about all the resources.

There's a ton of adaptive equipment that the school has, like rulers and compasses and protractors, but no one thinks ahead that during math lessons that use these, it might be a good idea to have them in the classroom for Nephew to use. He can't hold or move a standard ruler very well. But the classroom teacher doesn't know they exist, and the special ed teacher never sees the lesson plans. So what happens is that a week is spent sending notes back and forth between home and school and finally the necessary adaptive equipment is identified and located and given to Nephew. And then the next week, the class moves on to a new lesson topic. My brother and SIL have found that they need to really be on top of some of this stuff and remind the teachers repeatedly, to make sure that Nephew gets what he needs.

And this is with a school system that is really trying to work with them--from the start they have been very willing to try new things, to keep Nephew in a regular class (he has health issues so a home nurse accompanies him to school daily), to really try and get him the best education possible. I can't imagine what it would be like with a school system that had less money or no desire to really work for Nephew.

My brother constantly gets, "Sure, we have X equipment. All Nephew has to do is ask for it." But it can takes days or weeks to find out the school has the equipment. My brother finally broke down and asked for a list of every single piece of adaptive equipment the school system has, so that they can ask for things without spending days sending notes back and forth. It's the little things like this--yes, the school can help, but you have to know what to ask for in order to get that help. And if you don't know the help exists, it's pretty near impossible to get that help.

I would encourage you to ask about other options and find out what's out there. Pull-out sessions, one-on-one aides for certain subjects, extra tutoring, whatever the school has to offer. Ask other parents what support services their kids are getting. And when you identify a specific problem, be it that it takes your son half an hour to figure out what the homework assignment is or that after weeks of your working with him, he still is not grasping a specific concept, go to the teacher and ask what can be done to address that issue. The regular classroom teachers aren't going to know everything that's available, they have too many kids with too many different needs in one classroom, but they should be able to help you find out what's out there, or point you in the right direction.

Jan, you certainly are not alone in your frustration. My two girls are older now (10th and 7th) but I recall the homework being particularly frustrating in the early to middle elementary years. Too many things required explaining, too much assistance from parents required, etc. After working all day and trying to make dinner, it could be a struggle. In general I've found it's better now since they no longer require instructions from me, and the homework is very self-explanatory. Of course you occasionally still have issues-my older daughter had a nightmare 7th grade w/3 or 4 hours of homework every night!! Even with your son's extra needs, I'm confident things will improve!

As a separate issue, I think it's important to consider differences in educational systems when comparing American kids' scores to those in other countries. Many European countries, for example, decided by beginning of high school whether a kid gets to go to the "real" high school (like the German "Gymnasium"), or gets shuttled off to trade school. It is only the scores from those elite high schools that we ever see, but we we have all out kids together in the pool. The comparison is apples and oranges what would you expect to see when you compare scores from the average public school to the most elite private preparatory schools?

My oldest is in third grade and thankfully we have not been pounded with homework (yet anyway!) and we are in a pretty good school district. I have to add that we have a no TV, no computer policy on weeknights with our kids. We also limit "activities" to one per child per season. I think too much homework cuts into family time. Some people like to blame it on "too many activities" but that is far from the case in many people's homes. I firmly believe that Kids need side-by-side free time with parents after school/weekends to learn Real Life stuff like how to make a good dinner, how to fix things around the house, how to sew a button on and so forth. My husband and I are both "academics" and I really hope that the homework burden in our good school district doesn't get too burdensome.

Jan, I've known families who hired an Advocate to make sure their kids with special needs were receiving all the help they should get. Many times school districts won't provide extra services unless it is requested (demanded) by the parents.

Thanks for the encouragement and ideas everyone.

DS is receiving special services during the school day for spelling, speech, and OT. He is in the classroom for everything else, including reading, math, science, history, art, etc.

We live in a small, rural area, and I'm not aware of anyone else in the school with an autism spectrum disorder. I do know of some children who have autism and attend special schools.

I'm starting a binder for DS's homework and graded assessments. If he continues to achieve below average, even with our help and the services he's presently getting at school, I would like to request additional services. There are 22 kids in his class and no aides in the classroom. I doubt the teacher has time to attend to his special needs all day with so many students who also need attention.

I do think the amount of homework is a lot even for typical kids. For kids with special needs, it's over the top. Yet, we don't want our son to fall behind. It's a catch 22.

It's also a shame that families with children on the spectrum receive so little guidance from the school district as to what services are even available that could be helpful. We're left to figure it out and make the requests on our own, as though no kid in the district has ever had these issues before.

Jan, do you know your son's learning style? Auditory, kinesthetic, visual? Maybe you can try to suit some of the study habits to the way in which he learns best. When looking for the subject, give him a key. I homeschool my 2 older children and the way we did it was, to find the subject, ask who or what the sentence is about. To find the verb, what are they doing. If a visual learner, diagramming could help some. Then a different times a day I drill the kids, what question do you ask yourself to find the subject? What makes a complete predicate? What makes the complete subject? It may also be helpful if the teacher communicated the key words they use in class.

While I of course teach these things to my kids, I also sometimes ask, so what? How much is their life going to be changed if 30 years from now they cannot identify the simple subject and simple predicate or know what a gerund is or know how to properly diagram a sentence? With my spectrum son, language and words are likely not to be his strong point, we will do the best we can but we also will not sweat it too much. Most grammar gets repeated ad nauseum and what he does not understand this year, next year he may walk into the clasroom and grasp it. Now, I will put on my flame retardant suit and attempt to hide from any grammar teachers on the board.

As a former 2nd grade teacher for many years, I do think 1 1/2 hours work per night is way too much. Sometimes parents wanted me to give more homework than I did, but I believe children need "down time" where they can play and imagine on their own. I always encouraged parents to read with their child, play math games, practice those spelling words, etc. You've been given many excellent suggestions regarding parent/school communication.

Two of my sons breezed through their early schooling and didn't need help, whereas DS2 needed my help with both reading and spelling. He developed better study skills and the tenacity to gut it through. I've always wondered if the other 2 would have developed better study skills if they'd had to work harder when young.

Education is a life-long experience, so take a deep breath, advocate for more accomodation, try your best to make some of the work fun, and direct your son to the areas of his strengths.

tish - I'm quite sure my son is kinesthetic. He is always in motion. He has some sensory issues that are contradictory in that he loves deep pressure, yet shuns hugs and affection that aren't on his own terms. He can't stand the feeling of many blankets, yet likes to sleep with hard objects. I do try to come up with creative and fun ways of helping him learn.

Tonight, we did flash cards for his science while he was in the bathtub. That way, he could play, but yet he was confined to one location and not running around all over the place.

He had reading, a reading log, math, science flash cards, and spelling homework tonight. Honestly, this is quite ridiculous. Even if we spent just a minute on each science card, with all the rest, the time is well over an hour, and then we just stop because he gets tired, and the night is over without really having had any downtime.

jab - I cannot relate to parents wanting more homework. If school time is used effectively, homework should be minimized in the early grades. I realize it's certainly much easier with typical kids who don't have learning issues. Still, I agree with you that play, socialization, and exercise are important too. It's hard for me to carry through with the tremendous effort every week to keep up with it all when I don't fully support intensive homework at this age level.

Just a thought, but I wonder if keeping track of the time spent on homework for a week or two would help the school figure out what to do?

I'd track the total amount of time spent, and how it is spent. You know, 20 minutes while Son figures out history assignment, 30 minutes doing assignment with parental encouragement to stay on track, 15 minutes of daily reading, etc.

It sounds as if a parent has to be right there with him to get the work done. By 4th grade, I'd expect a child to be able to do some of the work on his own. Documenting that he can't will help to show the school the level that he is at. And give them one more thing to work on--as the school should be working to get him as independent as possible at doing his homework.