I've found an alien life form in my compost pile

18 years ago

Oh, I've had lots of kinds of living stuff make homes in my compost bins that I didn't even want there and took extraordinary measures to get rid of, usually to no avail, but THIS, this is something I need a little, OK, a lot, of help with.

A small, brightly lit metallic, saucer-shaped hovering object crashed-landed directly into my hot bin about a week ago with a loud splat that I observed first hand while out in the back yard relieving myself of the day's burdens and a six-pack of beer my birthday earned and was given me by my better half in anticipation of a reciprocal present for her birthday of a weeklong trip to Nassau.

I understand the whole ridiculousness of such a relationship, but that is for another post at another time. What we're talking about here is verifiable alien invasion of my compost pile.

The glow became brighter, but with a greenish sheen, as the thing gradually came ever closer to my yard. Being preoccupied with the matter at hand, I glanced at it and thought for just a moment it was a lightning bug, but bigger. Then, when it half splattered and kind of floated down into my pile, I decided that something was not right, and armed myself with a potato fork to investigate.

Upon first inspection, the pile looked pretty normal, but closer examination showed some scorched browns on the exterior parts of the pile...a definite indication that something really hot had plowed into it.

Afraid, but unable to control myself, I kinda gently parted the upper part of the pile and, with more excitement, started pulling the pile apart. When I got about half-way into it, the pile began glowing a strange purple-bright, pulsating whiteness, and the little flying thing shot right out of the pile, barely skirting past my right cheek, zoomed silently skyward, and disappeared into the night.

When I composed myself, I noticed my right cheek was cherry red and much of my beard was singed and had that singed-hair stench about it. I ran to get a flashlight, saw that the electricity in the entire neighborhood was silent, and thought, "My wife has put a mind-altering drug in my birthday beer".

After calming down, in retrospect, I realize that the little craft had probably mis-calculated it's fuel supply, surveyed it's options, and landed in my pile to refuel.

You may, like most disbelieving composters would, scoff at what I've just told you, but the next time you go out to your pile and it has suddenly become cold since yesterday, think about what might have landed in it overnight for a pit stop.

Chuckiebtoo

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (11)

wakerry
18 years ago
Perhaps your saucer stopped by my bin first and left the 6-legged creatures behind. A scouting party perhaps?
trancegemini_wa
18 years ago
lol, how many beers did you say chuckie? :)
Related Discussions
Keep my (secret) compost pile in your thoughts (wink)
Q
Comments (13)
Thanks All! By this morning, I was feeling much better after receiving your sympathic shoulders & comments! Yep, they got rules about curtains (must be showing only white to the outside), and Yep, I do live in the Country - about 1 hr past the 'burbs - takes 45 min to get anywhere - but when we moved here 9 yrs ago from 40th St & 2nd Ave Manhattan, w/2 very very busy self-employeds (I worked 70 hrs/wk then), we figured new construction townhouse would be better than an older home w/roof & furnace probs - of course, the new constrx (& affordable px) came w/a HOA. Oh well, at least I feel better now thanks to y'all! All the Best, Tree
...See More
yellow jackets in compost pile
Q
Comments (36)
Common sense is always at play, in my yard, and everywhere else. I can't recall ever stating that I went around thrashing and killing everything. In reference to the roses, I didn't say I went and killed all roses, I said I took care of that ONE that was a problem. When I find a yellowjacket or hornet nest, it's like I've stated over and over again, I found it because I got attacked. I agree that everyone can have their point of view; that's the beauty of living in a free country. However, my problem here is not your point of view or anyone elses point of view. The problem lies in the criticism of MY point of view. I say that I don't want yellowjackets or hornets in my yard, and the comments start flying about "overreacting" and "thrashing around killing". Not to mention being called anti-woman. The bottom line comes down to this: My yard is MY yard, and I like to use it. I am NOT going to abandon a section of it so that some insects can live there. Your yard is YOUR yard, and I have no problem, or any right to have a problem, with you doing what you chose. The original poster asked for some opinions, and he/she got some. Then, as you said, things got out of control, because my opinion got attacked. But, I must say Claire, at least you stick around to defend your point of view, and I commend you for that. The person who babbled her mouth off calling me anti-woman didn't have the guts to ever even defend her reasoning, or appologize for such a rude and asanine accusation. Anyways, at this point, I'm sure our babbling has turned off the original poster, because we've let this one get a little carried away. I say we bury the hatchet and just agree that we have different opinions about things, and throw in the towel on this one. Joe
...See More
Fire ants in my compost pile!
Q
Comments (13)
The Texas A&M website has plenty of good fire ant info, but only endorses chemical control of fire ants. I believe most of us here try to eschew chemical solutions as much as possible. Those of us in the south are pretty much stuck with the vicious little pests for the foreseeable future, so the question is how to keep them out of our gardens and compost piles without resorting to poison. That's why this forum is so valuable to me. Just in my opinion every "homegrown" method of control is probably worth trying out - some will work, some won't. (one exception - please don't try the "gasoline and a match" tactic) I've had some success with coffee grounds piled high on the mounds, boiling water from drained pasta, simply flooding them out, and whispering sweet nothings in the queen's ear. Last year my yard and garden were all clear of the devil ants. I thought I was invincible. Then somebody bought the vacant house next door and promptly began a chemical rampage on their yard, unleashing a massive fire ant migration right at me. Think I'll try some molasses this time.....
...See More
Regular compost pile with worms ?
Q
Comments (19)
Hi! Last year we bought a few rolls of green vinyl coated fencing aka hardware cloth. We unrolled it, and cut into sections long enough to make 3 foot diameter circles (+/- 10 feet). Cuts leave "tags" of wire that you use to fasten one end to the other by wrapping (use gloves and maybe pliers). We dumped shredded leaves (got a wonderful leaf shredder with metal blades, not plastic) and then some dirt and fertilizer in layers repeated to the top (about 4 feet). Be sure to wet itdown as you build it up. You will not believe the compost we have already. These are near a wood fence, they get watered from our sprinkler system 1-2 times a week, and that's it. We also paid a lot of money for the black plastic cube bins. They do OK but this technique is cheap and makes lot more compost a lot faster. They have become a raised garden for us now (we are trying tomato plants in two of them now.) The stake goes in easy! Try it. They cost a little time and about $6 each at Lowes ($58 for a 50 foot roll). If you really want to go fast, put a small trail of kitchen scraps in as you build it and then a good bit at the top (put in more every week) nd then throw some red wigglers (or any other worm) in and watch it go! Here is a link that might be useful: Example of the fencing This post was edited by BobCowman on Sun, Jun 2, 13 at 11:00
...See More
Kelly_Slocum
18 years ago
Chuckie, Sweetie, remember that the remains of whatever it was you were smoking CAN be safely processed in the bin, but, judging by the above post, the potency of the stuff may have been such that the neighbors might be able to catch a whiff coming from your bin...

Kelly S
sqh1
18 years ago
Chuckie.......If you got all that entertainment from your birthday beer, I say you do now owe your wife that trip to Nassau!
AbbeysDad
18 years ago
Well, in the absense of any objective evidence to substanciate Chuckies story, we can only conclude that Chuckie simply can't hold his beer!

Sure is a good thing he wasn't doing shooters of hard liquer or we might have heard of him runnin through the neighborhood naked screaming "the Martians have landed, the Martians have landed." Woulda been the pits to spend your birthday in the local loonie bin !

LOL
chuckiebtoo
Original Author
18 years ago
Why Kelly, so unlike you to jump to conclusions without a shred of factuality or even a reasonable assumption to be further investigated. I can almost always tell your posts before I know they're yours. In this case, I couldn't have guessed.

With as much seriousness as I'm capable of mustering at any moment, I will tell you that my days of smoking anything other than a ham or turkey are way long ago gone, and probably one of the reasons I took up what I like to call gardening.

Since my recent experience with my compost pile, I've decided to spend some time studying, you know, space, the last frontier after that foliar miracle, ACT.

Chuckiebtoo
Kelly_Slocum
18 years ago
::laughing:: Yeah, I've been in this terribly silly phase lately, Chuckie, struggling to be serious about anything. I think I need a vacation! And in the absence of any real data on what's going on in the pile the alien space ship story is a plausible as anything else, right? At the least it's more entertaining!

Kelly S
swampboogiequeen
18 years ago
I think I would have to say your worms are probably doing alot of recovering themselves. If you are pondering the universe, I would recommend

http://hubblesite.org/newscenter/newsdesk/archive/releases/1996/01/image/a

I wonder how the vermicomposting is up there.
riveraquarian
18 years ago
please help me determine the safest method to eradicate slaters from the worm farm. I have an old bathtub wormfarm and the slaters have taken over it and don't know if it's doing damage to it... shouldn't think it too good. What should i do to get rid of them. Slaters are little bugs with a hard armour shell on their bodies and little legs that help them to scurry away quickly. Well we have them in Australia... don't know if you have them elsewhere in the world. Please if you have any methods to eradicate them without too much harm to the environment for I'm an organic grower, I'd be grateful.
onafixedincome
18 years ago
Hey Chuckie..if you're smoking turkeys and hams...that's some stogie!! Whatcha usin for papers, anyway?? :)

PA
chuckiebtoo
Original Author
18 years ago
Well, PA, as Ahnuld said when asked why he was running for guvenatah, uf you hahf to ahsk, you dohn' need to know.

Chuckiebtoo

I've found an alien life form in my compost pile

Comments (11)

wakerry

trancegemini_wa

Related Discussions

Kelly_Slocum

sqh1

AbbeysDad

chuckiebtoo
Original Author

Kelly_Slocum

swampboogiequeen

riveraquarian

onafixedincome

chuckiebtoo
Original Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

I've found an alien life form in my compost pile

Comments (11)

Related Discussions

chuckiebtooOriginal Author

chuckiebtooOriginal Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

chuckiebtoo
Original Author

chuckiebtoo
Original Author