I know I ask Alot..But Prayers are surely Needed...

16 years ago

I think most of you know that my DFNL was admitted to an alzheimers clinic recently. Welll, in the past 3 weeks he has been further diagnosed with Lewy Bodies. We were told today that this facility can no longer take care of Pop (DFNL) because of his anger. I do understand because he has really hurt some of the staff and residents...to the point of a fractured spine, broken collar bone, broken hip...to say the least.

I get to be the one who gets to tell my DMNL tonight that this facility can no longer keep Pop...and it really does just kill me to keep haveing to give her bad news after bad news and breaking her heart even more...

With Lewy Bodies we have 2 facilities that will agree to keep Pop (hardly any facilities including alzheimer's facilities will keep LB patients)...I guess I am so worried because what IF his anger is too extreme with the next place we have to admit him to and they cannot keep him any longer...what do we do then? Are there any other options? I dont' see any and I know he would kill one of us, if we brought him back home and attempted to care for him ourselves...

And I feel so bad for my DMNL..she just really does not deserve all of this heart ache...

Soo when I feel like Im at the end of my rope, and just cannot take one more thing...Prayer is what we need most...And I have truely always came here and gotten so many prayers..it really does help...

Thanks everyone for listening to my ramblings and worries!

Dena

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Comments (19)

jolanaweb
16 years ago
(((Dena)))), I hate that y'all are having to go through this, it is heartbreaking and i wish I had an answer but prayer is all I know to do and I will for all of you
jolana
pjtexgirl
16 years ago
You and your poor family!!! You are most definatly in my prayers! PJ
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Thank you for telling me what I know should have happened long ago. My sister and brother-in-law are both lawyers.We haven't wanted to upset Diane right now because of her health.But, we are going to ask Bob to help us get him out of here.Like I said, I don't want them to take them, I just want to know how to get him out.When Ken was in the hospital back in March because of taking to many pain pills, I asked the nurse case worker how I could get him out. She told me that because he was a relative and that I had let him move in, the only way to get him out was to take him to court. That doesn't seem right, and because of mine and Jim's health issues, I didn't go further.You asked me if he had mental or physical issues that would make him encapable to take care of himself. He somehow graduated from HS, has held jobs, only ones that Jim or my Dad got for him, and is not so much in pain from his back that he can't work. Sears let him go because he told them that he could only come back to work if he could work for two hours and be able to sit for 20 minutes when he needed to. The disability that he is getting is from insurance that he is payin #179. a month. It is not Government disability.As far as mental, he is really a filthy person.He doesn't shower, my children came over and tore up the carpet in his room, and painted his room purple, what he wanted. And his room is filthy already.I put his microwave and toaster oven on the porch because it is filthy and I don't want it in my house.Shortly after he moved in,I found bugs in the house so made him pay for an exterminator. He pays that every month.Sorry for venting, but that is about all I have done since he has been making our life even more miserable lately. He told me he is perfectly happy here, isn't leaving, and I can't make him leave. New Years resolution. He will leave here. We have looked into HUD houses, but they do inspections and you have to keep the place clean. So, if he doesn't and once he is out, he is not coming back. My Jim use to be a locksmith and this will be one happy job for him Thanks again, for listening.
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trsinc
16 years ago
I hope you can find some sort of solution! You and yours are definitely in my prayers. We went through the A thing with my grandma. She wasn't too violent, but it can happen... We really need more research on this disease. Hugs and prayers,
tr
carolann_z8
16 years ago
Dena, I'm so sorry to hear this.
I'll add you and your family to my prayer list.

Carol
mikeandbarb
16 years ago
Dena, I know this has be one of the worse times for your family and my heart goes out to you and your family.
After looking up about Lewy Bodies your right no one in the family can or are able to handle this illness. When ones mind is taken over with alzheimers and Lewy Bodies they put you at risk.
Take care and never fear asking to talk to me or us on the GW. I know how if feels when you need to vent. May you all find peace and help for your Dear pop.
My prayers are with you all.
scuba-gal
16 years ago
Dena, I am so sorry for you having to deal with all this heart ache. Several years ago my exstended family faced the same situation - with my dad's uncle. They did eventually find a place to keep him -
I will call my father tonight and see if I can get more infomation that might give you some resources or options for the future.
You are certainly in my prayers!

~Angie~
prairiepaintbrush
16 years ago
Prayers said. Keep us posted.
scuba-gal
16 years ago
Well, after talking to my dad he says his uncle was moved from a nursing home to the VA hospital in Dallas and then eventually to the VA hospital in Tyler then Temple. Evedentally one was more of a mental type physility.
I realize now your FIL may not have this as an option if he is not a veteran, I just thought I'd mention it.
~Angie~
Dena Walters
Original Author
16 years ago
Again....I am so touched!! I KNOW prayers are out there now...and I HAVE to believe that this is what God 'decided' for us to do..we just made the 'wrong' decision to keep him where he is now....
I just got off the phone with Mom and she really wanted to break down...but THANK you ALL so much..I was able to be very strong and 'not' let her 'give up'...
I DO believe there is a reason for everything and God is who decides..we may not 'get it' yet...
Ohh Lordy Ya'll..I cried as I read all of your posts..just thinking..WOW...
I really 'am not' a whiner or a crybaby....REALLY....I do just keep thinking...oh Lord when are you gonna give us a break???....I know...'wrong' question to ask..and 'wrong' person to ask that to....sighhhh
Anyway...THANK YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH!!! I really don't have much of a life or many friends aside who I work with and my neighbors (noone that I pour my doubts...and fears to and do not cry to)....so you ALL are my 'friends' who let me whine and cry too...I am a strong person .. 'really!'
Sometimes a person has to be able to just say what is 'really' on her heart and mind..and I 'am scared'...
YOU ALL have already made it better!!
Again thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart!
Now I will quit whining..and be strong again...you all really did help me do this tonight!!!
Dena
carrie751
16 years ago
Oh, Dena, I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your family. I will certainly keep you and yours in my prayers. I pray that somewhere there will be a place for him that can care for him adequately. Is there not a medication to be given to calm him so he won't be so violent? Prayers and positive thoughts, Dena - you hang tough, lady, we're all here for you. ((((hugs)))))).
grittymitts
16 years ago
Oh Dena, what a hard thing for you and your family to have to deal with.

Please know that I have and will pray for y'all.

Suzi
denisew
16 years ago
I didn't know what Lewy Bodies was, so looked it up under Google and came up with the following links. Some of these have discussion forums, support groups, caregiver information, etc. so you may be able to find some needed help and support. Your family is definitely in my prayers too.

http://www.lewybodydementia.org/

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lewy-body-dementia/DS00795

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/dementiawithlewybodies/dementiawithlewybodies.htm

These are just a few. If you do a google search, I know you will find more information. My mom's MIL (my step-grandmother) has Alzheimer's and they're moving her into a nursing home especially for Alzheimer patients. My grandmother on my dad's side also had Alzheimer's, so I know how difficult this must be for you and your family. I think the best thing anyone can do is to be informed, so I hope these links are helpful to you.
PKponder TX Z7B
16 years ago
This must be so difficult to deal with, Dena. Of course, I will pray for you and your family. I was going to add the links to the Lewy Body Dementia Association website, but Denise already provided it.
melvalena
16 years ago
Dena,
I will be praying for you and your family that you guys can deal with the situation and find an appropriate place to care for your DFNL.

Don't worry of give it a second thought when you feel the need to share what's going on in your life. That's one of the reasons we're here in this forum.

Melvalena
sally2_gw
16 years ago
Dena, my heart goes out to you. Have you been in touch with the Alzheimers Assc.? Even though it's not Alzheimers, they may be of help to you in finding the correct facility. What about the neurologist, does she/he have any suggestions?

I'll be thinking of you and your mil and fil, and keep you in my prayers.

Sally
Dena Walters
Original Author
16 years ago
What can I say but 'wow'..I am so blessed! I really do feel better today...I called the other nite 'my pity party'..I truely do not want ya'll to feel 'sorry' for me...but dang I sounded like it when I read my posts...I was having a hard time the other nite..but a huge THANK YOU to everyone! I really do feel better today and stronger..thank you all!!!..sincerely!
carrie..they do try other meds..but his system adjusts to them so fast they have to keep increasing them more and more..and all these drugs really do have nasty side affects..thank you for your prayers and concern!
Suzi, thank you so much, I have to say 'us' 3 as a family now, are so strong together, and my GW friends who say so many prayers for us makes 'us' stronger!! we need ya'll!
denise, I have looked up everything (I thought) about Lewy Bodies...yet you gave me a few sites I had not read..the only thing these are not talking about is his anger...it is so intense, and the neurologist said this is part of LB's...
Thank you so much for your research and caring ..and especially your prayers! From the homes we have visited, most would take Pop with Az..but when we mentioned LB's they said they were not equipped to take 'these' patients..go figure!
pk, it is difficult and seems to be more so as the days go by..but 'we' as the family we have will stick together..thank you so much for your prayers...I know they are helping!
melvalena, again thank you so much for your prayers! I hope we can find a place that is willing to take Pop considering his anger...but my real wish is that they could possibly grow to love him as we do...
Sally, thank you so much for your prayers! We have located an Az locater here in our area and they are helping us. My DH and DMNL went to a facility today that is 'hopeful' yet not cheap by no means..but actually got to talk to the neurologist on the spot and they have '1' opening due to a death..this is the strongest possiblity...
Kathy you are such a sweet lady, what a blessing you are, you have helped me so much!
And barb, thank you so very much for reaching out and listening...it made a huge difference in my life!
Again, I know I say this over and over but you all have no idea how much your concern and prayers have already made a difference..I just cannot say it enough! Thank you from the center of my heart!
P.S. so sorry this is so long!
Dena
prairiepaintbrush
16 years ago
Dena, I prayed for you to be covered up with love, so when you get too much love, just embrace it like you would too many stuffed toys in your bed! :)
little_dani
16 years ago
Dena, I saw myself in something you said.

"I really 'am not' a whiner or a crybaby....REALLY....I do just keep thinking...oh Lord when are you gonna give us a break???...."
"I really don't have much of a life or many friends aside who I work with and my neighbors (noone that I pour my doubts...and fears to and do not cry to)."

You are like me, or I am like you.........I am the one that is strong, always had to be. I don't resent it, but I know for me, sometimes it is hard to always be strong. When I was young, I just desperately wanted to be dainty, delicate, and 'taken care of'. I never did reach those goals. LOL, it is o.k., I would rather be me anyway.

I think that is why I am such a nitwit here, because I will not be judged harshly here. People here see themselves in each other. It helps. None of us are perfect, you have a right to be frightened.

You are in my prayers, as is your family. This is such a struggle for you all right now, but I think it will get somewhat better when you do find a facility that can care for your FIL.

I know your MIL is thankful that she has you to lean on.

Janie
vannie
16 years ago
My Mother had Alzheimer's and I know there are stages. Maybe the next stage will involved a calm and easy going spirit, or maybe he will become non-ambulatory and easier to handle. God bless your family.

I know I ask Alot..But Prayers are surely Needed...

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