Your last line is too funny Lilacs!

I'm sorry you're not feeling well.

I know firsthand how dental work feels. I was born without most of my permanent teeth and molars which made my mouth develop a little too small for "grown up" teeth. We couldn't afford to have all the necessary work done when I was a kid so I had laminates and bonding done in my teen years (covered by insurance after a car accident) as band aids until about three years ago when they were all hanging on by bonding threads and my dentist said he could not patch them any longer and to stop eating corn, chips, meat, nuts, and basically anything chewy until they were fixed. So the work began. After a million consultations with my head in a vice like contraption, I had major oral surgery (several) to correct my mouth with bridges, implants, crowns. It was so painful. Luckily I did have insurance but it barely covered half.

Unfortunately, my mouth development is hereditary (my brother has the same mouth as me) and my son has the exact same mouth as me but now there are ways to fix as he matures instead of all at once after the mouth has completely developed. We just started our first round with him this summer at $1300 out of pocket (insurance covered an add'l miniscule amount).

Keep taking care of yourself like you've been doing. You'd probably feel a whole lot worse if you weren't. Speedy recovery to you:)

Charlene

The pain will subside and your mouth will heal, Lilacs.

I donÂt think we have much choice in how we age so to pretend that it is up to you and if you try hard enough, you will overcome aging; that's unfair. Even the idea that we can stay young forever with the right diet, well, that's not going to happen either. Still, a healthy lifestyle can lower our personal risk for disease and shortening our lives.

We can brush and floss and visit the dentist regularly but our immune system may not be up to the task of keeping our teeth and gums healthy. Most all of us really need good and regular medical care.

We need to be concerned about:

Smoking!

Being overweight since it can lead to diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure.

Increasing exercise.

Limiting salt, alcohol, trans fat, and general calorie intake. Eating as close to natural as possible. It would be best if food doesn't come packaged or at a fast-food restaurant.

Regular medical exams.

We need to stay mentally active and positive - we've got life change issues to face. Either we are prepared and looking forward to at least some of them, or we're in trouble. We can reach out to people with gardening and food and companionship. And, if we can keep our own parts, that's the best way to go.

digitS'

My spouse has a piece of bone from a dead person in his jaw right now. After a while, they'll put a fake tooth on it.

My 17 year old is getting two crowns aready!
And I thought I was doing so well, never having pop, junk food, etc. in the house. But she got decalcification from her braces, or so they tell me.

Even when you try to look after yourself, life can smack you with some nasty surprises that aren't your fault. I got a really nasty shock a few years back. I'm doing my daily shots and keeping a hopeful attitude towards a cure being found in the near future, while I can still walk. Just doing the best I can with the cards I'm dealt.

Boy Lilacs, that does sound awful. I think the one good thing is that the mouth does heal fast. If only the pocket book would fill up fast as well! Good luck to you.

As for healthy living, I'm trying all the usuals as well. But I can't help thinking about something my dad has always said... "I need one bad habit". He's survived cancer, has very poor circulation in his legs (and was told 10 years ago he could only expect to live 5 more years), been very overweight and lost it when he retired, and been addicted to nicotine all his life. He can't kick the nicotine...hence his comment about the one bad habit. I wish he could, but one thing for sure... he's interested in life. He keeps on going - working in his shop, keeping his nose in his neighbor's business, criticizing the local city government, etc. So I think there's something to be said for doing things you enjoy... even if one of them is not so good for you.

Me, it's TV. I'm not as bad as I used to, but I definately have my "favorite shows" that get TIVOd.

My bad habit is chocolate. I kicked soda, gave up my ice cream for occasional frozen yogurt, and eat very little red meat. I don't eat fast food or processed food. I wear a hat and sunglasses. I guess I was of the opinion that if I do things right, nothing will break down, and I'll live forever. *smile* It's just a shock to have all of this happening pretty much at once.

I need to find a job with affordable insurance.

That's the other worry that I'm facing. My contract where I work is up in a couple months. There's a hiring freeze so they can't hire me permanently, although my boss would like to keep me on, and tried to. And by company policy, contractors can't have their contracts renewed after three years. So I'm out the door. I wanted to spend my disposable income on computer equipment, software, and more training to prepare myself for the inevitable, NOT on health issues.

I ought to be able to find another good job, but it's all up in the air, and I don't like that.

The pain's better since yesterday. I feel woozy, though, because all I've eaten since yesterday noon is a cup of chocolate pudding. (There's my vice again.)

My brother is four years older than I am, and he has teeth issues, too. And he hasn't been able to afford a lot so he's let things go. But he has crowns, caps, bridges, and the whole lot. My mother got dentures when she was 33, but back then, that's just what they did. Our family has had neither a lot of money or good teeth.

Thanks for the good wishes. I stayed home from work today, even though I'll be docked the pay. I did a little weeding out in the garden, but even that seemed strenuous.

Lilacs,

I love that last line! I feel the same way a lot of the time. Now that I'm over 50, for the first time in my life I'm doing much more physical labor, and it sure takes twice as long to recover from half as much work!

And having been downsized myself a few years ago, I definitely sympathize, getting a new job when your hair is gray isn't easy.

I console myself with chocolate. (Eating a chocolate cupcake as I'm typing, which does nothing good to the keyboard!)

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what we do at our age now, our health, good or bad, can be blamed on what we did when we were too young and stupid to know any better! So......since I'm not into self denial, I'm going to eat my chocolate and enjoy it!

What's that line about not going to the grave well preserved, but sliding in at full speed, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body parts all used up,going "Woo hoo! What a ride!"

Or as the saying goes, "it's too late to die young."

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, Lilacs.

I love that theory/e-mail, shadyplaces!

When you are at an apex of change, it is tough, but it can sure keep you on your toes. I know you probably don't feel like anyone trying to "fix" it, but maybe this job situation will be a change for the better!?

I have nothing but admiration for my Dad. He barely graduation from high school, married my mom after dropping out of his first semester at college (my mom her 3rd semester) and took a construction job. Over 20 years he learned tons about fixing and operating heavy machinery and equipment and even worked on several downtown DC buildings as a crane operator. Well when the alcoholism finally overran his boss to the point where he couldn't keep the company going anymore, my Dad realized that he better do his best and put a shine onto a nonexistent resume. He really didn't think he would be able to get a job after that. He didn't realize how valuable he was! He ended up finding a job that paid almost twice as much with the sky as the limit! He started out as a manager in a heavy equipment company. It was a great change and about 8 years overdue (as working conditions had become pretty bad under the alcoholic's regime).

I hope your situation takes a good turn too. Lord knows you need it after all you've been through with the neighbors and everything else. I'll be sending good thoughts your way :)

Take care,
Lori

I'm sorry you feel icky! I wish it was better right now. I'll say this, it will get better.
I am a tooth grinder and the pressure from the nightly grinding caused damage to a tooth, which is still bombarded with grinding pressure even after having a crown put on and getting a night guard. I've broken it so many times, and am on my second crown on one tooth! I went through oral surgery to have the tooth lengthened for the new crown. It was supposed to be awful, they looked at me apologetically, they even apologized several times, but I made it! It wasn't that bad, it healed faster than anyone expected and, I had to have it done a second time because it wasn't enough the first. My dentist looked like she was going to have tears, but I managed that, too. Take your time, make sure you have a polite dentist and that the dentist's aid is nice, too. Having good people at your side during surgery makes a lot of difference.
I'm sorry everything seems to be going at once, that must get annoying!! But you are here, you are taking care of yourself and you have a good hobby.
Keep taking care, it will make the later years easier!! And I agree, one vice is nice :)

It's true. I might get a better job. The salary I'm getting now is pretty good, but there are plenty of people in my field making a lot more than I am. I've been with this company for three years. My boss has offered to be a reference. I've learned a lot while I've been here. I was hired just as a writer and editor. I politely nudged for my duties to be expanded so that I was working more IT, and now I'm doing website support and hard coding in HTML for online documents. And I plan to get some software and fill some of the gaps in my IT knowledge.

And I plan to dye my hair. It's getting awfully grey, and I've been letting it go. I just wish I could lose more weight before I have to go interview.

At least the tooth I lost is a molar, not one in front. I should have asked to keep it. I could have put it under my pillow!

My dentists are pretty nice, and they know what they're doing.

I think this all started when I went to a dentist who was an idiot. He filled this tooth because the old filling was cracked. He should have done a root canal, but he didn't. A year or so later, it began to hurt, so I went to my current dentist. They did the root canal and put a temporary filling in it in preparation for a crown. Well, I let it go too long. I lost track of how long it had been. When that temp filling fell out, I called and made an appointment, but it was too late for the tooth.

If only that first dentist had done the root canal that he should have, I would probably still have my tooth. And he was way too expensive, too. Over $400 to put a filling into a molar. He said that that was because it was an emergency appointment. But I made it a week ahead of time, and I didn't ask for an emergency appointment.

(Compost)head.

I wish I could afford the extra money to get an implant instead of a bridge!

"I wish I could afford the extra money to get an implant instead of a bridge!"

I just read a news article about a website called myfreeimplants where people "sponsor" implants in exchange for pictures. But IIRC, the implants and pictures weren't related to teeth.

From the sounds of things, a reference from your boss would be pretty helpful. It sounds like s/he'd hire you if s/he could but is constrained by the rules.

Grey hair in IT can be a double edged sword. Some see it as a benefit since it can mean you're seasoned and have seen more. Others see it as a sign that you're likely to be less flexible and less up to date.

There's no shortage of websites, which means there's no shortage of need for website support.

Keep expanding your skillset.

If possible, you should try to pick up one of the tag based languages (programming, but it looks like HTML). Some examples of this are jsp, php, asp, ColdFusion. You can get started with jsp by downloading tomcat (for free). php is also a free download that you can add to apache.

If you have an old clunker of a PC around, install a version of Linux on it and learn your way around Linux (Unix, Solaris, AIX, HP-UX are similar enough that if you learn Linux, you'll know the others, mostly).

Good luck and keep on plugging away.

To top off the pitifulness of this week --

I have a couple "job agents" that e-mail me jobs in my field every couple of days. A really good one landed in my mailbox this morning. I had all the requirements. Then I realized that it looked familiar. Then I realized that it was my job!

I knew this was coming. In fact, I helped write the ad. Supposedly this is an assistant tech writer, but that's a polite fiction. In truth, this is my replacement.

Sometimes, when something hits you, it doesn't help that you saw it coming. Having reality right in my face like that is a bit disturbing.