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thisismelissa

Your Spouse: Are they involved in your hostaholism?

14 years ago

I was thinking about this when someone else was writing about their spouse. I'm wondering how your spouses treat your hostaholism?

My husband HATES that I spend money on plants/landscaping. He sees no point and that "all hostas look the same anyway". That's poppycock! He can only play his "I'm colorblind anyway" card to some degree!

I've squirreled away money this last year to pay for my addiction so that I've not had to take any money from our everyday family budget to support my habit.

My hubby has NEVER dug a hole for a hosta. In fact, the only perennial holes he's dug at this house were within the first month of having moved into this house. I was VERY pregnant and couldn't bend over at all. So, he planted those for me. As for trees & shrubs, he's helped me remove them, but I do the planting.

Landscape/hardscape, he VERY reluctantly helps with that. And I do mean VERY reluctantly! Last summer, after 3 years of requesting and nagging, he finally helped me level out some step stones that were dangerous for our 3 year old and for people coming to visit (Paul can attest to that!)

We tried building a water feature last summer too, but that ended in a leaky fountain and lots of disagreement.

SO, tell me about your spouses involvement in your landscape. Do they offer help (verbal or physical)... do you get "the talk" after spending too much on hosta, etc....

Comments (48)

  • 14 years ago

    She like hosta, but doesnt share my addiction. She and I have different views on gardens and landscaping anyway so its a healthy separation:)

    Dave

  • 14 years ago

    He does the mowing and that is about it. He will help dig a whole or two if I ask. He doesn't care what I spend on my flowers and such. I know he likes what I do because he often comments on them to me. I have 2 daughters and loads of friends that I share starts with, too. My daughters buy me neat things for my birthday and Mother's day for my gardens, too.

    Susie

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  • 14 years ago

    Ahh, Melissa...good topic!! My husband likes to "whine" about me spending money on plants and especially hosta. BUT...he doesn't mind. I try my hardest to make our yard look attractive and interesting and he doesn't mention it often, but he does appreciate it. The other day when I went to a few nurseries and a plant sale I thought he'd flip that I spent about $100 on plants, but he said he liked everything I got.

    Now, on the helping side of it, if there is something that is nearly impossible for me to move, he'll help. But, I do have a feeling of accomplishment when I do it myself.

    So, he basically provides the funds and I plan and create.

    Oh, I do like to mention if I got a deal on something, because he is VERY frugal and likes freebies and good finds!!! :)

  • 14 years ago

    My DH is a sweetie and knows better than to get near my hostas when mowing. He doesn't really understand the attraction but knows they make me happy, just like all my critters. So as long as Apple keeps coming out with new toys, new IPhone in June, I'm safe. He actually likes going to garden shops and quilt shops because he has lots of time to play on his IPhone and Macbook while waiting.

  • 14 years ago

    yes, good topic

    Similar to indymom, my DH also whines, but since I'm into very few things & gardening makes me happy, he's willing to tolerate it.

    Also, now that my gardens are starting to take shape (I jumped into gardening feet first three years ago), he's beginning to appreciate my overall plans. He has also just now begun to appreciate the extreme efforts I went to to obtain free/cheap hardscape materials through Craigslist.

    He and my 14yo rarely help with anything beyond basic lawn maintenance. Anything beyond that usually requires "creative motivation".

  • 14 years ago

    My wife doesn't help at all. I have planted all of my 300+ plants alone. She tolerates my hosta addition,and that's about all! I have slowed down in number of plants per year,because finances are getting tight,and besides;a lot of my property is unusable,being to steep,and too shady. I have only a strip of grass by the road to mow,and weedwack,and the rest is woods,except where the house is. That's the way I prefer it,because I mowed grass all my life,and that was enough! Phil

  • 14 years ago

    My husband is very understanding - he has his own hobby which also takes up time and money.

    Mother's Day, my birthday and our wedding anniversary all fall within a 10 day period - so - instead of having to buy presents for any of those days - he spends a day taking me hosta shopping.
    He then digs the holes for me and helps me move any that need it.
    Our yard has a bike trail that runs through it, and backs up to a green space - so people often stop and chat about our yard - which makes him very proud.
    Our running joke is that my hosta addiction is a harmless addiction - There are no bars, casinos, nicotine or drug dealers involved.

  • 14 years ago

    I have asked many times if my husband would like to learn how to garden, and share in my passion, nope! He doesn't like dirt under his nails! LOL!! Well, he has helped dig out about 20 yews that we had in our yard, but the planting, trimming pruning is all done by me! and I love it. He does'nt mind me spending once a summer, so my yard slowly takes shape. He laughs when I ask for a garden tool for Christmas, or for my birthday, but enjoys me being happy. He does enjoy the outcome of all that I do.

  • 14 years ago

    I'm in a similar situation to Phil. My DH doesn't do ANYTHING in the yard/garden. I do all the mowing, edging, weeding, digging, planting, planning, etc. My DH's idea of "helping" is taking the kids to the park or beach so they won't bother me while I am working

    Alexa

  • 14 years ago

    Well, my wife likes to go to the nursery with me and she likes to walk through our lawn and gardens, but it's rare that she joins in on the fun.

    Now my 12year old son is good help and I'm happy for it.

    Rick

  • 14 years ago

    For me it's half and half with my DH. He sometimes gets upset at how much I spend on plants but then he goes and says and I quote"OK I'm going to go out and relax in MY garden!" The nerve of that man sometimes(:P) I do ALL the work and he gets to enjoy it! I do have to admit though when I was planting over 150 bulbs a couple of years ago he helped me even though it was 40 degrees out.

    When it comes to Hostas, Heucheras and even most perennials he doesn't have much of a say but when it comes to the big shrubs he and I have to agree that we BOTH want it(Even though I will be the one to plant it and care for it). But he likes my choices anyway. He has put in some of the timbers for the beds but I did most of it. That's ok because this fall when we(I really mean HE) finish the Hosta garden out back, we(again HE) will put in my patio!

  • 14 years ago

    My DH does not care how many plants I buy, he would like me to plant them though, he hates the pot ghetto next to the greenhouse.

    He doesn't mind when I get crazy over a certain plant and buy fifty different ones. He doesn't mind when I dig stuff up and move it around either.

    He bought me the greenhouse and put it together and he has dug all of my beds and built arbors and trellises too. He digs big holes and he rips out stuff I'm tired of or can't get out myself.

    He will go to botanical gardens with me, though he whines about it, he will meet up with pond/plant friends I've met on the internet too.

    I did have to really beg for him to dig up more lawn, he is attached to his weedy mossy lawn. After the first beds were put in fifteen years ago he hasn't wanted to give up any more of it though he finally relented.

    He asked for tulips and roses and other than that he doesn't care.

    He does know a hosta when he sees one. We were at Butchart Gardens in BC and two ladies were looking at one saying they liked it leaves, what was it? he answered them before I could. I've been teasing him about that for years. The only plant he knew before I met him was Cannibis sativa. LOL

  • 14 years ago

    My DH mows the lawn and buys me garden tools for mother's day. He has helped to dig out a couple of stumps for me over the past 2 years and when I was pregnant move 1 or 2 large rocks. He also got me compost and mulch from the dump while I was pregnant. This spring he broke my shovel when I asked for help with a stump...I think I'm on my own from now on.

    I think he likes the garden and once in a while asks what something is called. He seems to think all flowers (and hosta) look alike but likes my pink phlox. He says I have 500 hundred varieties of hosta and WE don't need more. (I have 62 plus the 30+ coming)

    He IS going to flip when and if he realizes that I've spent a few hundred dollars this spring on new hostas and sedum though. We have some big home renovations coming up so he's got a point - but I HAD to buy them. I know I get compulsive so I need to take a break. If I tell him to go on anotheer paintball weekend I'm sure he'll be fine with my spending but I'd rather not have to go through that again right now. He's already away on business half of this week. If my plants come now I can get rid of the boxes before he gets back and maybe get most in the ground! :)

    My DH is supportive to a point, not really interested, but usually (this time may be differen't though) doesn't bother me too much because this "collection" isn't in the house.

  • 14 years ago

    I'm new to his forum, but I'm going to join in here.

    My trick is to get the hostas planted before my husband gets home--it's sort of a variation on the strategy of hanging new clothes in the closet before DH notices. ;o)

    Seriously, my husband is very encouraging of my hosta purchases. I do most of the hole-digging, planting, watering, weeding, etc., but that's because he knows working in the garden makes me happy. I think he figures it's good therapy for me--and, in that regard, a whole lot cheaper than therapy sessions!

  • 14 years ago

    I am one of the lucky ones. My DH is just as big a junkie as I am. We dig, pot, plant, move and enjoy it all together. He encourages me to buy, and never complains when I do. He himself is crazy about Hydrangeas, and has his own bed strictly for them.

  • 14 years ago

    We are equal opportunity addicts. He doesn't like hosta as much as I do, but aids and abets. In turn, I try and foster his devotion to native plants. And sometimes, we even get to play in each other's gardens.

  • 14 years ago

    My DH is supportive and has helped dig lots of holes for me (especially under the dratted maples). He has built fences, arbors, brick patios and lots of other hardscape items.

    I think he likes the hostas and the "decorative" plantings because it looks nice. He doesn't participate in the planning of any of the beds and once they're in, they're pretty much my responsibility to maintain, unless I ask him for help.

    He takes care of the lawn and much prefers to grow food to eat (which I'm not too interested in (except for eating some of it...lol). He takes care of the vegetable garden, strawberries, raspberries and asparagus.

    We each pay for our own plants, so no problems there. All in all, it works out good for both of us.

  • 14 years ago

    My hubby is wonderful to allow me the freedom to be an addict! In fact, he goes with me to the sales and tells me which ones he likes, etc.
    and when I'm excited but feel guilty about what I've piled on my cart, he will say "go ahead, get them!".

    He even took me on a hosta-tour to celebrate our 42nd wedding anniversary and we wound up at 'ken's' and 'Hallson's' that week!!
    We had a wonderful time and it was fun getting to know the famous 'ken' in person and I had a lot of fun meeting Chris and Brian and picking up
    some hosta from them, too!

    Hubby won't plant a hosta, and I really don't need him to do that. He has put all my ideas and dreams for our garden in place, as far as hardscapes,
    with me right there pulling my weight in the implementations of my ideas!

    In fact, just today he made me a bench for my secret garden that has turned out so cute and just what I wanted!

    And, he has made so much progress in his appreciation of hosta, and remarks all the time about how nice everything looks!

    So, he doesn't pore over the catalogs or haunt 'the library' like I do, but he's an important part of my hosta-dream team!!

  • 14 years ago

    I will say, however, hubby is helping me construct a permanent watering solution for my garden since the squirrels have eaten everything else. He started helping me yesterday and I think he is kinda happy that I'll have a permanent solution to the squirrels eating my garden hoses!

  • 14 years ago

    My DH just likes veggie gardening, so unless it's got to do with that he doesn't really care about any other plants. I do the mowing so that's not a problem.
    He knows what a hosta is but that's about it! He doesn't really mind me doing all the planting and such, I guess he figures it keeps me out of his hair! lol

  • 14 years ago

    My wife really enjoys the beauty of our garden and watching the wildlife it attracts. We walk the garden a couple of times a week. She is familiar with a lot of the plants and can name several hostas. I do all the design, plant selection, and installation. In our marraige she takes care of the inside, I take care of the outside. Works well for us.

  • 14 years ago

    I'm lucky because when we moved our hosta bed, hubby helped me move all my hostas, dig the holes and plant them. Most of the hostas were 3-5' across so he brought in the back hoe and moved them. He has also built me an arbour, gazebo, and a gardening shed. He is more interested in vegetable gardening and planting trees. Most important he takes me hosta shopping and doesn't complain when I spend to more than I should! Marg

  • 14 years ago

    This has been an eye opener!!!!!

    I thought I was the only one who had a very uncooperative Hubby/mate. I think the older he gets the more negative he becomes when it comes to my love of gardening. I am developing health issues and he points out that I can no longer keep up with all the maintence but doesn't offer to help.

    Our sons have told me, kiddingly of course, that they hope their Dad 'goes first' as they don't want to have to deal with him after I die.

    My recent plant sale is still a sore subject as the mess from the potting up is still on the back patio and he harps about me not getting it cleaned up as well as that this will be my last sale. I do agree that if I hadn't had the help of my sister in law the sale would have not happened.

    Life can be trying if you get mostly negative remarks about gardening. He does like to vegetable garden but I help plant and then maintain it. I told him I have canned my last vegetables so we'll see if I can stick to my plan!

    Don't get me wrong he does have some good traits but doing the spring gardening season they seem to go out the window so to speak. When he does help and he does occassionly, I have to know just where things go immediately and he just digs the holes and nothing more and complains the whole time he is doing it. He grunts and groans and I have to hide my face sometimes to keep from laughing. I help mow ,ride, while he trims and weed eats, then he takes over and I sometimes do all the mowing.

    He went back to work after he retired after only a few weeks of driving me crazy and that is really my salvation. He is gone most of the day all week and what
    I can do on my own is fine with him as long as I don't bother him asking for help.

    We did the therapy thing quite a few years ago and our therapist told me after he walked out of a session that 'he will never change so you will have to decide if you are staying or going' I'm still here. LOL

    Happy hosta gardening,

    Connie

    PS: Are you all wondering how we have spent 2 months in a 37ft. RV and don't kill each other the last 6 winters? 'Happy pills' which we both take!!!!! LOL But he needs a stronger dose than he is getting!!!!

  • 14 years ago

    Mine is not a gardener at all, but he does enjoy the finished (is it ever?) product. Since we keep our finances separate, I spend whatever I want and if I get something that requires a large hole, he will dig. The hosta are my domain! DS bought me an "Awesome Auger" for mother's day to help me with my digging-so cool and fun and the name is worth the price-he said he bought it because of the tv ad-like that Dan Akroyd sketch on Saturday Night Live with the bass-o-matic or those sham wow ads. Too funny.

  • 14 years ago

    I hope any young garden enthusiasts read these posts well. As in now is the chance to cut & run :) ......
    If your partner is not interested or at least helpful in your passions it only gets worse! My dh had his interests in Rock & Roll ...I spent years listening to jam sessions Etc.... then he was into photography & art I sat for a bazillion pictures...And so on... Now after all these years I figure the least he can do is dig a few holes ! Couples divide up the chores in many ways & not always fairly, but its very important to share in each others passions . Other wise I would need one of those Awesome Auger thingis myself...btw cyn keep us updated on how well that thing works :)

  • 14 years ago

    DH will help out, but he doesn't understand why things have to be moved. "Why don't you just plant it once and be done with it?" I try to explain that gardens evolve, plans change, different plants do better in different situations, perennials need to be divided, etc. but he doesn't get it. He likes to approach planting with military efficiency. I point, he digs, I plant. Sometimes I'd rather do it myself since he's always rushing me during these drill and plant sessions. He does enjoy the results of our labor and he even picks out plants sometimes (of course, I'm the one taking care of them afterwards).

    Megan

  • 14 years ago

    My hubby helps me in any way I ask for help.I dig my own holes, plant my own plants, weed,and mow.If I do need help, he will do it with out a grumble, he builds me what ever I can dream up,moves rocks,brings me rocks for my B.day,(much better than any other gift),haules in mulch,plants trees,what ever I need done.
    We work well together,I help him when he needs it also.

    CYN,can you post a picture of your Auger? Sounds interesting.
    cAROL

  • 14 years ago

    I do all the yardwork, my wife takes care of our live-in 7 yr old grandson, who I am training in hostas and gardening. No kidding, I just bought him an Empress Wu. I have an agreement with my DW that planting hostas and dwarf conifers is part of yard maintenance. We all want to have a house with great curb appeal, correct?

    Mowing the lawn is only a small part of yard work, enjoying the plantings is also important. Hosta are especially great to reduce maintenance because they are holding down weeds = less yard work, another benefit!

  • 14 years ago

    I swore to him a few years ago that I wouldn't buy any hostas because he hates them. Isn't that sad?

    But I think he is coming around ;) I think he and I both got a bad impression of hosta from the typical installation of a big row of the "green and white ones" aorund a tree. BORING, unimaginative, and uninspiring.

    But then we moved to this house with an enormous shade garden and I discovered this site and I've realized how beautiful a hosta garden can be if you use a variety and intermingle with beautiful companion plants.

    I've been getting free hostas everywhere I can. I found a lady on Craigslist who had a nice variety of hosta, maybe 20?, in a really nasty scrubby bed of poor soil; I dug them up and they're very happy at my house. then this spring a friend wanted to get rid of a huge number (over 60) of a very average green hosta. I still haven't id'ed it, but I've used it as the backbone of my garden and I'm intermingling it with other plants which is starting to take a nice shape even though they are common and not special hosta specimens.

    In fact, it is looking good enough that I think he forgot my promise to not buy any hosta! Recently I was telling him that the rabbits only seemed to be eating the eyes that came up purple (or without purple, I forget now) and he said "so don't buy any more of that kind"

    As for yard work, it would be impossible to do less than my husband! He likes to sit and play guitar outside and enjoy the beauty, but he doesn't lift a finger. It is just not his thing :)

  • 14 years ago

    omg, this is a great question, and very interesting answers!

    Like others, I thought I was the only one who gardened alone!

    And when I read Susie53's response, I had to double check to see if I'd already responded: "He does the mowing and that is about it. He will help dig a whole or two if I ask. He doesn't care what I spend on my flowers and such."

    But then, Susie53 said that her husband makes positive comments, and there we have a difference, as mine never says a thing. I have to say "Isn't the garden pretty right now?" The response is "ah-huh".

    When we moved here, I was teaching school and 2 summer vacations were spent tearing up sod and making gardens. After that, I had more gardens than I could possibly maintain by myself (and still can't) and by the end of those 1st two years, I realized that hubby was not going to take any interest. I am now in "retreat"...even though I buy more hostas, my basic goals are always towards simplification, lush beauty, lots of ground cover, shrubs, etc...It's a five year plan that hopefully will mean less weeding in the end.

    I should have known my husband wouldn't get into the fine points of gardening...I had all the information I needed back before we got married. I asked him why he loved me and he said (exact quote) "because you're a woman". I burst out laughing and I'm still laughing about it 17 years later! I guess he's just not too into specifics!

  • 14 years ago

    I'm not so sure that this is an advantage, but Gary (new hosta addict that he is since he met me) is just as bad as I am! He helped pick out $175 worth of hostas at Karla Selseth's hosta sale last weekend as well as helping me spend an additional $300+ at other nurseries for other types of plants (roses being his very favorite, along with clematis, foxglove, hanging annual planters, etc) and all of this BEFORE we attended a MN Gardeners plant swap! He encourages me, I encourage him, and our tiny yard is rapidly filling to the brim. Our house is just as bad as we both share a love for antiques! Gary also works just as hard in the yard and garden as I do. But we do tend to feed each other's addiction terribly.....

  • 14 years ago

    Our house is in a development, so when we moved in we got 3 shrubs and some lawn. DH was doing a LOT of overseas travelling and when I told him I was making flower beds, he told me, from the depths of Asia somewhere, that I was to put in heather because he loved it so much.

    I searched and found heather, spent a lot of money on it too, and proudly showed him round the garden, leaving the heather patch till last. We came to it, walked passed it, with no comment. Later he asked me why I hadn't planted any heather - I was gobsmacked! Close questioning finally revealed that what he wanted was lavender!

    He whines mightily about my hosta addiction, complains loudly when I have to re-edge the beds (don't you find that cutting off 6-12" of edge is just about enough to fix up the beds? I do!) Now my back is better, I am mowing the lawn again, and he's not protesting.

    However, when we have visitors, he is very proud to show them around - but I have to wait for long periods before these pearls of appreciation drop from his lips!

    Mind you, I have to be very grateful that he is a wonderful provider and I am able to buy the hostas I want and I don't have to work any more, so I can spend time in the garden (while the dust mounts up in the house!) That's worth every tart comment which may zing my way at times!

    Jakki

  • 14 years ago

    MyDH has a "salsa" garden for growing his tomatos, peppers and basil. He built a stone wall around it so I would not infringe on his space. Each time I start a new garden project, he says, "We don't need any lawn." That being said, he has helped prepare every garden bed in the yard. Together, we have dug and moved over 40 truck loads of agrisoil to help build all my gardens. I like to pick the plants and get dirty - so I don't need his help there. He is also great with the heavy lifting required to plant shrubs and trees. Sometimes he complains that I have too many gardens, however when I started my last (no more room) garden this spring, he was the one pushing me on to finish it. He gets a little tired of all the hosta talk, however he is the first one to tell people how many hosta I have. Last year he very sweetly surprised me with my own potting shed (and I don't mind that his real motivation was to move me out of his "man" shed). He does laundry and cooks too. I can't complain.

  • 14 years ago

    My husband used to complain at the beginning but when he saw how much bang for the buck a hosta purchase gives, he has stopped even teasing about them. Another reason might be that last year I planted him a "Star Trek" hosta garden and he loves it! He is even going with me to an Open House at a nursery about 2 1/2 hours away in June!

    We both care for the yard, but he does the lawn stuff and I do the garden stuff.

    chris

  • 14 years ago

    No spouse here.

    It's interesting that for the most part, gardening addicts tend to marry people who don't really give a rip about gardening, and vice versa.

    My dream man is someone who loves gardening as much as I do... but, let's be realistic... the majority of "gardenfanatics" are women! So I'm content to tend to my plants and feed my addiction all on my own. :-)

    Deanna

  • 14 years ago

    Ah Geez,I have never thought about this before, but by all the responses,I guess I am one lucky lady.He does what ever I want around the place, no matter what it is and never says a thing.He doesn't say any thing about what I spend on my plants because I don't say any thing about his fishing boats!I can garantee that my flowers don't add up(price wise)to one boat!So we are both very happy hehehe!

  • 14 years ago

    actually, i am a rosarian first and a close second hostaholic.
    i am fanatical about my gardens and my wife doesn't share the same interest but when she does stop working occasionally she will come out and look at it.
    actually, she appreciates it but isn't interested in the upkeep etc.
    whenever company comes over they ooh and aah and we both take pride. she could never deny that i grow the nicest plants around.
    i admit that i have been sneaking hosta in the backdoor this spring though; i guess that means i gotta problem lol

  • 14 years ago

    Fun to read all of these - I'm a single guy so there's no support *or* complaints. Basically I buy hostas at my own discretion, which admittedly is not my strongest attribute. I have a habit of jamming waay too many plants into a small area(Conifers and Japanese maples so far) and now it has turned into a hosta 'add to cart' orgy.

    More then likely my relationship with my gardens would be a problem for a potential spouse. Most people would find it insane to dedicate so much time, effort and money to a single area of life, but gardening dug it's claws in and won't let go - at least so far.

    I think almost all people have collector tendencies, and I'm just glad mine is a healthy collection and not something like golf clubs, beanie babies or sport cars. Plus, unlike most things people collect, hostas really do get better/more valuable with age.

    -Will

  • 14 years ago

    When I was married, the ex cursed me and my gardening and put a lot of rules down...but then he cursed & ruled everything in an unhealthy way...it wasn't about the gardening...it was about control...that's why I'm gone.

    Now, I can garden away at my own discretion. I think I would love to have a gardening spouse/partner; however, I have a huge gardening plan, goal, and vision...and I bought this place specifically for the abandoned yard & 2nd lot overgrown-wilderness-mess. I have a game plan...a spouse/partner was not in the equation when I started the work, so it's hard to visualize someone else getting involved in the work.

    Also, my house is small, so if there was a new spouse or live-in, we would not be living here...and I'm NOT leaving until my garden is complete. (Guess that means I'm never leaving...EVER. Ha!)

    I think it would be pretty neat to have a spouse to garden & bounce ideas around with...but I'm happy doing it myself.

    Gayle

  • 14 years ago

    The only involvement my husband has with any of my plants is eating the edibles or staying 10 feet away with the lawn mower.

  • 14 years ago

    This has really been a great little thread here!! I showed the hubby around the yard last night between rain showers and he really liked what I did in planting the new purchases in the yard. I think he just likes to get me riled up when he gripes about the amount I'm spending on plants, which has been a little over $100 so far this year, not much by any means, but with me as a student and he as a teacher, I've had to be careful with the spending!!

    I think he'd help me if there was something I needed moved or a hole to be dug but I know my limits-no dragging him around to garden shows! :)

  • 14 years ago

    My DH has/had no idea what hostas cost! Last year we visited Plant Delights(Tony Avent's) & his botanical gardens for Open House & finally he saw lots of hostas. I only bought those on sale! He appreciates them more now & helps water them in pots where I've parked 57 of them under a giant Magnolia tree to move to our new house. (He does NOT know about the 24 I've just gotten this week!)

  • 14 years ago

    My wife keeps up with the hanging baskets on the porch and I do all the hosta gardening. She doesn't complain and encourages me at times. She enjoys showing people around the garden and talking about it and can actually identify many hostas in the garden. All in all, I'm pretty lucky.

  • 14 years ago

    I am new to posting on this forum and this subject piqued my interest as I have a special husband. My husband is not a gardener and yet he is a wonderful participant in our garden. He does all the hardscaping (built raised vegetable beds, trellises, a potting shed, converted part of our garage to a 'garden room', built paths/trails down our hillside, built a gazebo, etc). He also has removed many, many old junipers which were on the property when we purchased it and trims trees and bushes and removes scrub brush from the hillsides. He shares in the mowing and waters plants when I am not available. He goes to plant shows and garden tours with me and really appreciates the beauty of our gardens commenting often on how much he enjoys it. I do the planting and weeding which I truly enjoy.

    I am not sure what the future will bring for us as he has metastatic prostate cancer and it is beginning to affect his ability to participate in the garden and other activities. Something like this really makes one appreciate all their partner has done and still does in the partnership. He is a very special guy.

  • 14 years ago

    Steps onto soapbox.

    I guess I'll jump in. I'm the gardener. My boyfriend is a Muscle-Head. He loves muscle cars and playing/working on his toys. Plants and gardening he cares not. The only thing he does in the yard is mow the grass, and at times I have to get on him to do it. He doesn't ask much anymore how much I spend on plants, but he rolls his eyes or sighs when I bring home more of them. He's told me not to make more beds, because he hates to mow around them. He prefers our lawn of weeds with a few strands of grass here and there over my flower beds. But...when someone comes over, in particular someone who has never been to our house, he likes to have me (not him) show them around the beds I made. I have no gardening friends (in Michigan, yes, in Ohio, no), nobody I know is into gardening like me, with the exception of my boyfriend's best friend. He'll talk plants and landscaping with me, but then my boyfriend will quickly change the subject onto cars to break our conversation. Sigh. I love my plants even though he doesn't, and I'll work on them by myself if he won't help (which I don't trust him to trample or pull out plants he'll mistake for weeds), and I'll continue to buy more plants and make more beds, whether he likes it or not. And usually, he'll just let me do my own thing, anymore.

    Steps off soapbox.

    Karen

  • 14 years ago

    Karen, more then likely, your hosta beds will be more beautiful in a decade while his muscle car will be getting 12 miles per gallon and sucking down a quart of oil a week. You're not the crazy one here.

    I'd rather have plants and an inexpensive car then a nice car and hardly any plants, but of course that's obvious once you see my chaotic, cramped gardens.

    -Will

  • 14 years ago

    12 miles to the gallon....it's more like 8 miles to the gallon...lol! And, while my hostas grow more beautiful, his muscle car will continue to rust. I'd say he's put well over $20,000 into this car, and he'll never get even half of that money back if he decides to ever sell it....heh heh, sell the car? No chance. It's his baby. Now, I like riding in it, I've even gone down the drag strip in it with him, and it was fun/scary...but I prefer my hostas! :)

    Karen

  • 14 years ago

    My husband is into the lawn and I am into the flower beds. When we first moved into our home the previous owner had just let the flower beds go. He helped me to dig up and clear out all the beds. I did the rest of the planting but will dig some holes if asked. When his family comes into town I have came home to find him showing off all my work ( that makes me feel good). He always tells me that everything is looking so good and pretty. He does not do that much in the beds but his praise make me feel good. He even offers to buy some somethimes.