Alright, since we're sharing. I have issues with sneezing and laughing. Usually the laughing is only when I already have to go (like I've been holding it for a while) or if I've had a couple of drinks, for some reason. Last year we were on vacation and DH and I went to the hotel bar by the beach. Had a couple of drinks and people-watched. When we got ready to walk back to the room I kinda had to pee, but figured I'd wait til we got to the room. During our leisurely and romantic walk along the beach to the room, my very funny DH got me laughing so hard that I TOTALLY wet my pants. Um, I mean my dress. Had to walk into the hotel room sideways/backwards so my teenage son didn't notice.

That appears to be based on a column Erma Bombeck wrote for Mother's Day. She died in 1996. When God Created Mothers by Erma Bombeck When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 moveable parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." "That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I Love You" without so much as uttering a word." "Lord", said the angel, tugging His sleeve gently, "Come to bed. Tomorrow..." "I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower." The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. "But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure." "Can it think?" "Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator. Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You. You were trying to put too much into this model." "It's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear." "What's it for?" "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride." "You are a genius," said the angel. The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there." I have never forgotten reading it. Sue

Don't worry Doodle, you will get the hang of it. :) You remind me so much of myself 10 years ago. Dh and his ex married due to pregnancy off a post break up "hook up", had an admittedly bad and angry 2 years of marriage, decided to divorce, she moved hours away with their daughter, each started dating. Suddenly ex decided they needed to try again. DH refused, divorce was done. Enter me, who wanted the same fairy tale. I was gung ho to be a great step mom, BM's best bud and have us all raise SD together. Side note - I have known DH and his ex since days after they married and ex and I got along fine until I started dating her ex husband. Fast forward past YEARS of ugliness, a custody fight which DH won (and that made everything 1000 times worse) so much hatred, venom, and competition - all shared with SD by her mom - until the last 4 months when she seems to have reached a place where she can *handle* me and my role in her daughter's life. True we have had these breakthroughs periodically in the past and they have never lasted, but this is the longest one and I'm hoping it lasts. I've never given up all hope of us being friends and raising my SD together. You have a big heart that is in the right place. This is all still fresh and new to everyone. My well learned advice is baby steps. Don't go for the fairy tale right now - just aim for one good day, and then the next good day. All things with time . . . .

There is obviously much more to the story here. I can understand your being surprised by what seems to you to be out-of-the-blue behavior. First thing I'd do if I were you is try to get in "asking" mode with the Aunt and let her know you are receptive to whatever insight she may have into what the SDs are currently dealing with. Let her know you care about the SDs' welfare and want to help if it's requested. Let her know that you genuinely want to understand what the source of their upset is with you and that you want to listen to it without judging, rejecting or minimizing any of it. For now, try to keep any and all discussions you have about SDs between you and the Aunt, not with SDs yet and don't drag your husband into it either until you've gained some more insight and there is no more 'surprise' about how the current state of affairs developed. The Aunt sounds like a caring and articulate person who understands your point of view and wants the situation to be better for everyone. As for your children, you might want to have a conversation with them directly addressing the recent cut-off in communications. The Aunt's letter sounded as though the SDs are both dealing with difficult times. (Do you know of any particular event, conversation or change that has occured recently ---especially regarding you or your kids--- which might be precipitating this for both of them right now?) It sounds like they may be fighting depression, and as we all know, depressed people often withdraw from people and have trouble living up to all of their commitments. I would explain to my kids that they are dealing with some stuff right now and their choices are nothing personal against them. And that sometimes people can be erratic and need a little space from time to time. If what the Aunt tells you about why SDs are upset is something that you can neither understand nor accept, that is your choice. If you choose not to accept it, you are removing yourself from the equation (as it sounds like they have, at least for now) but that isn't a choice you can make for your husband. He may accept or reject their perspective, but that is his choice to make. You also have the option to hear what their complaints are and try to work with them towards some kind of resolution. Husband and SDs, too, have that option, which they may take, or they may not. You can only decide what choice is best for you based on what you feel about what you learn. Others will have to make their own choices, based on their own feelings, in due time.