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Way Off subject

15 years ago

As I know most of you are animal lovers and that sometimes we share non-gardening subjects here, I hope it's okay that I share something with you that I've be going through.

On December 4th, I had to put my 18year old companion cat, Sabrina, to sleep. I had a total of 5 cats (from years of rescue work..), but she was my 'first' cat as a young adult living on my own for the very first time. She was my favorite cat too. Yes, I know, we're not supposed to have favorites...but she was. She's moved to 4 different states with me and has even traveled on airplanes. She was so in tune to my moods and knew the meaning of lots of phrases (want to sit in the window?...treats? know...the important stuff.). She was an amazingly special cat.

She also tried to protect me from an intruder who was trying to break into my home at 4:30am about 8 years ago. She was growling while throwing herself at the bedroom window that the man was trying to break into. A 10lb cat trying to protect me from a large man -- unheard of. Her noises woke me up in time to call 911.

As difficult as dealing with her loss was, a week later, my 8 year old cat, Sasha, was diagnosed with intestinal cancer. I tried EVERYTHING to save her, but nothing worked. She had her first chemo treatment last Friday and proceeded to go down hill very quickly. I had to put her to sleep at 1:30am Wed. morning at the emergency vet clinic.

I now have lost two of my cats in 4 weeks. I am so sad right now, I can't even tell you. I just feel numb.

I was thinking about later - when I feel better - planting something in their honor, but not sure what. I thought about 'Sweet Peas' because that what I used to call them both. I spent so much money on vet care that it will be a while before I buy some more plants, but I have a few seed packs and I've collected some morning glory seeds from my vine before the freeze.

My 3 remaining cats are not as 'cuddly' -- one is a semi-feral female cat that I am still trying to get to trust me. The two males like being patted - but just don't pick them up. I love them to bits, but it does makes me miss my two girls even more.

Anyway, I hope it was okay to share this. Sometimes, it helps just to talk about these things.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was this sad.

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