I have a really weird question.

13 years ago

OK. This morning, while laying in bed around 3:00 and can't get back to sleep my mind is wandering. For some reason I was thinking of cremation. Now my father-in-law would probably like to be sprinkled on the lake since he loved sailing. My mother-in-law is a Master Gardener and volunteers at Olbrich Gardens (kind of like Leu Gardens). She would probably like to be sprinkled there. So I was thinking, would that harm or help the plants?

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (23)

karen_florida
13 years ago
I should think it would be wonderful for the plants. I'm not positive, but I believe when a person requests cremation, the body is not drained and filled with chemicals like it is for a viewing/ground burial type of arrangement; so the resulting ash should just be biochar with a little beneficial bone meal mixed in. Can't see where the plants should have any complaints!
ritaweeda
13 years ago
Just don't get caught! It's a nice idea and I don't have a problem with it but I bet the authorities wouldn't think the same. Better look into unlawful disposal of cremains in your area.
Related Discussions
NEW: mnf: june's one really weird swap :0)
Q
Comments (34)
Good afternoon everyone! Well, I am not turning out to be a very good hostess, and I want to apologize. I promised to post a game yesterday, and forgot all about it...so sorry!! So, here it is... GAME TIME ~~~~~~GAME TIME~~~~~~ GAME TIME~~~~~~~ GAME TIME~~~ Whoever can answer this will receive a super awesome iris from my garden...the amazing iris MINE...google it...its awesome! How many flowerbeds do I have at my house right now? (I ask this because weeding like a maniac these last few days has really put things into some weird perspective...although I'll probably be adding one or two more by fall,lol!) The first person close or right on the money by Friday WINS! :) Shirley, I'm about 45-50 minutes north of Ithaca. Just keep driving up Cayuga Lake and take a left, you'll hit my house :) Dan, can't wait to see what you have in store! Happy FLAG Day everyone!! vina
...See More
I hate having a cleaning service - is that weird?
Q
Comments (16)
Thanks for the replies. It does help me to know that one, I'm not the only one that find this level of "service" unacceptable, and two, that there are indeed people that would rather do the cleaning themselves. I still have much to sort out as to whether I want to continue to try having a cleaning person or would rather do it myself. But in the meantime, we are going on vacation and I already planned to put them on hold for the time we are away and just a bit thereafter. Probably 3 weeks off altogether. That will give me time to access the feeling of NOT having a cleaning service. Assuming I still want to go that route, I plan to call Wilma and explain the situation. Despite everything, she is a very nice woman, and one that I actually trust (to my knowledge, theft is one problem I have not experienced with our current cleaners). To be fair, I have not really said much to convey how unhappy I am (in part because I've barely seen her in recent weeks). I'd like to give her the chance to improve things. I will make a list of the things I want addressed and make very sure that she understands what I'm looking for. After that, if I'm still unhappy at least I'll know I did everything in my power to articulate my expectations, and I'll feel free to move on. I got a few new referrals from some friends last night that I will hold onto. I'll admit, I really do have to fight the feeling of not liking people in my house. In our house, my biggest problem is my own inconsistency. There are times when I enjoy cleaning and it almost feels cathartic. However, there are also times, due to our difficulties with our son, that it becomes nearly impossible to keep up and the house heads south VERY quickly. So until I can maintain some level of consistency on my own, I guess I'll have to continue on with a cleaning service. Perhaps if I spend a little time tweaking things, I'll end up being very happy. Thanks again. :)
...See More
I have a really dumb cell phone question.
Q
Comments (26)
You don't need Google Voice to use the WiFi in your home to boost your signal (in fact, you can connect your phone to any WiFi anywhere as long as either it is not password protected or you have the password- that's one attraction of places like McDonalds which offer free WiFi, you don't have to use the credit on your phone if you're using their WiFi :-) ). And if your WiFi goes out due to a power outage, you can still use your phone as normal. Connecting your phone to WiFi involves turning WiFi on in your phone's settings (and entering your WiFi password if you have one). If you're near your WiFi, your phone will automatically connect to it, if not, it will get the phone signal normally.
...See More
I have a Clivia with weird spots on leaves. What disease can it be?
Q
Comments (12)
Hi, Carmen. It's quite possible the spoiled foliage is a manifestation of watering it "when the soil starts to dry". If you're following the commonly parroted advice to water when the top inch or two of the grow medium feels dry to the touch, you're over-watering. By way of repetition, that advise has become pretty much a reflex reply, but it's really a recipe for over-watering. If you're using a pot that's say 10" deep, when the top inch or two of the grow medium is dry to the touch the bottom 6" (or more) of medium can be 100% saturated. this limits root function, can destroy root health, and robs an untold % of your plant's potential in terms of growth, vitality, and appearance. When root function is limited, the ability to efficiently move water to the plant's distal parts is curtailed, which causes necrotic areas on leaf tips and margins. Over-watering can also cause a physiological disorder called oedema/ edema. Your plant presents with both symptoms. Complicating the issue is the fact that your grow medium looks very water-retentive, and your plant really should be treated as a succulent because it's so intolerant of wet feet. If your pot is deeper than 5", it really doesn't matter how dry the top 2" of the grow medium are. Most of the roots in the upper 3rd of most soil columns serve primarily as plumbing anyway. They lack the almost microscopically fine roots that do the lion's share of the plant's heavy lifting, and as such relatively unimportant. What is most important is moisture conditions at the bottom of the pot. The grow medium in the deepest part of the pot should be almost completely dry before you consider giving your plant more water. You can monitor conditions there best by using a homemade wooden tell. I'll leave some additional things I wrote about using a tell and oedema. I think that will help you get your plant back on track, though the signs things are better will be found only in unblemished new growth. It would be a good idea to talk a bit about your watering habits, and to make sure you have a nutritional supplementation program that fills your plant's needs. Let me know if you want to have that conversation, because they are key elements of any care regimen. This link should help, too. Using a 'tell' Over-watering saps vitality and is one of the most common plant assassins, so learning to avoid it is worth the small effort. Plants make and store their own energy source – photosynthate - (sugar/glucose). Functioning roots need energy to drive their metabolic processes, and in order to get it, they use oxygen to burn (oxidize) their food. From this, we can see that terrestrial plants need plenty of air (oxygen) in the soil to drive root function. Many off-the-shelf soils hold too much water and not enough air to support the kind of root health most growers would like to see; and, a healthy root system is a prerequisite to a healthy plant. Watering in small sips leads to avoid over-watering leads to a residual build-up of dissolved solids (salts) in the soil from tapwater and fertilizer solutions, which limits a plant's ability to absorb water – so watering in sips simply moves us to the other horn of a dilemma. It creates another problem that requires resolution. Better, would be to simply adopt a soil that drains well enough to allow watering to beyond the saturation point, so we're flushing the soil of accumulating dissolved solids whenever we water; this, w/o the plant being forced to pay a tax in the form of reduced vitality, due to prolong periods of soil saturation. Sometimes, though, that's not a course we can immediately steer, which makes controlling how often we water a very important factor. In many cases, we can judge whether or not a planting needs watering by hefting the pot. This is especially true if the pot is made from light material, like plastic, but doesn't work (as) well when the pot is made from heavier material, like clay, or when the size/weight of the pot precludes grabbing it with one hand to judge its weight and gauge the need for water. Fingers stuck an inch or two into the soil work ok for shallow pots, but not for deep pots. Deep pots might have 3 or more inches of soil that feels totally dry, while the lower several inches of the soil is 100% saturated. Obviously, the lack of oxygen in the root zone situation can wreak havoc with root health and cause the loss of a very notable measure of your plant's potential. Inexpensive watering meters don't even measure moisture levels, they measure electrical conductivity. Clean the tip and insert it into a cup of distilled water and witness the fact it reads 'DRY'. One of the most reliable methods of checking a planting's need for water is using a 'tell'. You can use a bamboo skewer in a pinch, but a wooden dowel rod of about 5/16” (75-85mm) would work better. They usually come 48” (120cm) long and can usually be cut in half and serve as a pair. Sharpen all 4 ends in a pencil sharpener and slightly blunt the tip so it's about the diameter of the head on a straight pin. Push the wooden tell deep into the soil. Don't worry, it won't harm the root system. If the plant is quite root-bound, you might need to try several places until you find one where you can push it all the way to the pot's bottom. Leave it a few seconds, then withdraw it and inspect the tip for moisture. For most plantings, withhold water until the tell comes out dry or nearly so. If you see signs of wilting, adjust the interval between waterings so drought stress isn't a recurring issue. Oedema Oedema (aka edema) is a physiological disorder that can affect all terrestrial plants. It occurs when the plant takes up more water than it can rid itself of via the process of transpiration. The word itself means 'swelling', which is usually the first symptom, and comes in the form of pale blisters or water-filled bumps on foliage. Under a variety of circumstances/cultural conditions, a plant's internal water pressure (turgidity) can become so high that some leaf cells rupture and leak their contents into inter-cellular spaces in leaf tissue, creating wet or weepy areas. Symptoms vary by plant, but as the malady progresses, areas of the leaf turn yellow, brown, brown with reddish overtones or even black, with older damage appearing as corky/ scaly/ ridged patches, or wart/gall-like bumpy growth. Symptoms are seen more frequently in plants that are fleshy, are usually more pronounced on the underside of leaves, and older/lower leaves are more likely to be affected than younger/upper leaves. Oedema is most common in houseplants during the winter/early spring months, is driven primarily by excessive water retention in the soil, and can be intensified via several additional cultural influences. Cool temperatures, high humidity levels, low light conditions, or partial defoliation can individually or collectively act to intensify the problem, as can anything else that slows transpiration. Nutritional deficiencies of Ca and Mg are also known contributors to the malady. Some things that can help you prevent oedema: * Increase light levels and temperature * Monitor water needs carefully – avoid over-watering. I'd heartily recommend a soil with drainage so sharp (fast) that when you to water to beyond the saturation point you needn't worry about prolonged periods of soil saturation wrecking root health/function. Your soil choice should be a key that unlocks the solutions to many potential problems. * Avoid misting or getting water on foliage. It slows transpiration and increases turgidity. * Water as soon as you get up in the AM. When stomata close in preparation for the dark cycle, turgidity builds. If you water early in the day, it gives the plant an opportunity to remove (for its own needs) some of the excess water in the soil. * Put a fan in the room or otherwise increase air flow/circulation. Avoid over-crowding your plants. Al
...See More
jwahlton
Original Author
13 years ago
I'm not saying that either one of them want to do this. They won't discuss anything like that except to tell us that they want to be cremated.

I was just asking!
stuartwanda
13 years ago
I don't think if you put the ashes in the lake or Ocean or on the land, it isn't going to do any harm!
Gees, I have a girl friend that has her husband riding shot gun in the car with her! Now that could be a problem if you know what I mean!!
Don't you love your dreams?
goldenpond
13 years ago
I tell you what I am dong with my dads ashes when the time comes. Oh and it is NOT a weird question! He and I were discussing this today in the hospital.
I plan on mixing up a small batch of cement to which his ashes will be added.I shall then pour the wet cement and dad into a wonderful garden mold(well greased). Yes I believe his soul will be in heaven but one does need a place for the remains.
His remains will be able to spend time with me in the garden and should I move, dad comes with me. My dad loves to watch me garden his tiny plaot but he really loves my yard. He thinks it is a great idea too!

Keep talking about it, they need to talk and if you are at ease with it the discussion will be easier for them. Tell them some crazy lady wants to put her dads ashes into a garden mold. That should be a good ice breaker
Peace and prayers.
Tanya
scottrell
13 years ago
Tanya,
That sounds lovely.
I agree with your dad, I wouldn't mind being buried in your yard either.
User
13 years ago
my mother always loved the gulf beaches, sorry to say she is now sharing them with the gulf oil spill, but i know it's just her remains and the true part of her is happy! reminds me of that clint eastwood movie about the bridges.
botanical_drifter
13 years ago
There has been several news pieces of Disney complaining of people sprinkling ashes in the parks. Well above average amounts. I think it is fascinating. I too would like to be cremated and sprinkled here and there. :0)

botanical_drifter
Carol love_the_yard (Zone 9A Jacksonville, FL)
13 years ago
Boy, after losing my Dad unexpectedly do I know how important it is to go ahead and discuss these things. Although EVERYONE dies, it is funny how many people don't want to talk about it. My mother and I now have it all talked out and I know exactly what she wants when the time comes. The funeral, obituary, pall bearers, grave site and all are planned out. It is a great feeling. Those decisions are absolutely OVERWHELMING when you have to make them and do them within short time-span.
User
13 years ago
j.......i'm really happy you had this post, thanks.....m
katkin_gw
13 years ago
My hubby and I have it all decided where we want to be sprinkled, but my kids won't talk about it. And I agree, it is something that needs to be talked about.
shortyrobyn
13 years ago
It is illegal to sprinkle cremains in many/most places. We have 3 dead parents - 2 were cremated. Until you go through it the first time - you think the cremains fit into a Dixie cup. They don't. It's actually a lot more ash than you think. My FIL buried his wife's in his backyard in North Carolina (don't know whether that was legal). Then he had to move into a nursing home (near us in Florida) and sell his house. We just told the funeral home where he was cremated to dispose of the cremains when he died. I really liked my FIL - and did the best I could by him during the 2 1/2 years he was in a nursing home here - but his ashes meant nothing to me.

My mother is buried in Broward County (where she lived) - and since my father moved here to north Florida to be near us (he's 92 - and lives in a senior independent living retirement community which is really nice) - no one visits her grave (not even her son in Miami). Do your absolute best to take care of people when they're alive. And when they're dead - they're dead - ashes to ashes - dust to dust. And focus your efforts on those who are still alive. Robyn
tomncath
13 years ago
Mom's in the gulf off her favorite beach, Indian Rocks Beach.

Dad's in the woods of his favorite area for hunting turkeys, Avon Park Bombing Range. He was a Marine Squadron Commander and well respected in aviation circles, the Air Force gave us permission to fly over the bombing range and sprinkle his ashes from above....

Cathy and I want to be made into one of those concrete dome artificial reefs for the fish.

The question wasn't weird at all, it's a very personal choice.

Tom
dirtygardener73
13 years ago
My mother is buried and scattered. Half of her remains were buried next to my father, and the rest were scattered into a salt-water creek on the island where she grew up.
coffeemom
13 years ago
I love your idea Tanya. I always wanted to be in the garden and yours seems the perfect solution. Thanks, and if I, the garden mold, am covered in guano, everyone will know it's really me!
wally_1936
13 years ago
When I lived in DC a Cabbie friend of mine told me this story. He picked up a fare one day, two old ladies. They asked him to drive them to Rock Creek Park. Then asked him if he would take them to the center of the bridge, which he told them no as he could lose his license. So they talked him into letting them out at the end of the bridge with the promise they wouldn't jump. When they came back the one lady was trying to console her friend. So he asked and the ladies told him this story. Her husband Fred died and she kept his ashes in her closet and take him out to talk to him. When she married her Second husband told her Fred had to go so she threw him off the Rock Creek Park Bridge. So it does help to plan ahead.
ritaweeda
13 years ago
Ashes and graves are for the living to grieve over, not a home for the dead. Frankly I don't care what they do with me when I'm gone, except the one thing I will ask is that they don't store me in a decorator urn on the mantel, or in a closet, that's the worse thing I can think of to do. I care much more how they celebrate my life with a gathering of those who cared and lots of music, good food and drink, and laughter rather than whether they stand by a hole in the dirt or scatter a box of charred bones.
whgille
13 years ago
Rita, I think just like you. I always take care of my family while they are alive. And I make sure I will fulfill their wishes when they are gone.
Talking about artwork, some artist in Arizona was making a collage art from the ashes to be kept as a keepsake for the family, the work was really nice.

Silvia
jwahlton
Original Author
13 years ago
Wow. I thought that my question was going to envoke maybe one or two replies! So I'm assuming that the "ashes" won't harm the earth. A few years ago my parents set the kids down, told us to write out what we wanted in the house so they could put that in their will. They have the entire thing paid for, caskets picked out, plots paid for, etc. They don't believe in cremation. But my in-laws, I have no idea! And Dad is 83 now and still going strong!
shortyrobyn
13 years ago
Every adult should put down cremation/burial wishes in writing (preferably in a will). To avoid family fights (I've seen some really ugly ones over the years). Perhaps your in-laws have something in their wills? Robyn
tomncath
13 years ago
I agree, Cathy's mom wanted a service only at home with a bagpiper and single malt for all, and her ashes scattered in the Gulfstream off Ft. Lauderdale to Jimmy Buffet tunes so that's what we did, great memories....

Tom
Carol love_the_yard (Zone 9A Jacksonville, FL)
13 years ago
Burial wishes should be discussed IN PERSON with all involved beforehand, not written in a will. Final resting place and body handling decisions including are usually made within 24-48 of death - usually way before the will is ever located. You are using that first 24 hours to cry, contact relatives and friends, make long-distance phone calls, looking for telephone numbers, answering the front door with all the visitors who stop by, cramming food into the fridge, getting the church and program arrangements made, choosing pall bearers, selecting readings, selecting hymns, etc, etc, etc. You do NOT have any time to go find a will - especially if it is in a locked safety deposit box or with an attorney. The will is usually located in the weeks following the burial. So family or whomever is in charge needs to KNOW - IN THEIR BRAIN - what your final wishes are. Trust me - my father died unexpectedly a few years ago - I have been through all of this. Do not put your burial wishes in a will or some file that will not be found until much later. Those in charge need to know immediately how your body should be handled. How to dispose of your assets - not your body - goes in the will.
User
13 years ago
this post is great. i sat on a beach in northern florida, we drove till we found the right one. knelt in the water and watched as the bag of dust was sucked out in the surf. i wasn't there when my mom passed, so it was a great good-bye for me.

I have a really weird question.

Comments (23)

karen_florida

ritaweeda

Related Discussions

jwahlton
Original Author

stuartwanda

goldenpond

scottrell

User

botanical_drifter

Carol love_the_yard (Zone 9A Jacksonville, FL)

User

katkin_gw

shortyrobyn

tomncath

dirtygardener73

coffeemom

wally_1936

ritaweeda

whgille

jwahlton
Original Author

shortyrobyn

tomncath

Carol love_the_yard (Zone 9A Jacksonville, FL)

User

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

I have a really weird question.

Comments (23)

Related Discussions

jwahltonOriginal Author

jwahltonOriginal Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

jwahlton
Original Author

jwahlton
Original Author