"Seeking advice for online lunatics (such as myself...lol!) is not really the best of ideas you know." I dunno....seems like a viable an alternative as many others....spill your guts anonymously to strangers and see if anything worth considering comes out of it. Even responses to trolls may have some good ideas for others within them. What's to lose? Dks27.... "I always feel so angry, depressed, lonely, and hopeless." With respect, these are your issues -- not your husband's or anybody else's. If you're resentful because your husband doesn't fix them for you, you're making a mistake. Being jealous because your husband -- and/or the rest of the world -- seems to be going on without you gets you nowhere. And certainly doesn't make him -- or anybody else -- want to be around you. Don't know how may choose to deal with it but inasmuch as your life has changed, you only have to choices: wallow in it or break out of it. From what you've written, I think the changes needed must start with you. Counselors can be good for this. Your life has changed. Your mind needs to. Get some new perspectives. If your husband is ignorant of the affair, don't tell him. Suck it up and move along from where you are.

Wonderful news, Melanie! I'm so glad things are going well for you now. And also glad to hear that you're making the trek up to Canada again. When you get up to Stratford, let's get together again! When DH retires next year, we are planning on moving to Stratford.

"Do you both realize that you are in abusive situations and you are being abused? "... You wouldn't believe how many times I have said this!!! I will not be abused in my own home! I do not mind the hijack IMA ... let it out ... My MIL backs me up 100% even went to SD's mom's house to tell her and mom what she thought of how her granddaughter behaved in front of mom so it wouldn't be taken out of context. It may not appear like hubby backs me up but he does ... tells her do not talk to my wife like that etc... the boys stick up for me but she doesn't care what anyone has to say ....except grandma! remember the whole 11 bags of popcorn thing .. calling grandma to apologize! Mom's BF said when he came to pick her up with mom that day that she is horrible to him to ... I told him well you should tell her its your house and she can leave if she wants to ... and mom told her it was his house and he lets us stay here ... so she called hubby crying that no one wants her and she wants to go to foster care because every one calls her a b!T(h and no one likes her ... SD told DH what they were saying to her. He said to me as I am talking to the kid I can hear her mother in the background calling her one what do I say to the kid then ... your mothers an A$$ .. No clue what he said to her but I told him I do not call her that I do say no wonder your mother calls you that :) she then will say my mom does not call me that the boys chime in and say yes she does!! ... he said she justs wants to feel like she belongs I said I tried and tried for years she and I did everything together and she and her mother conspired against me and this is where we are at now .... He agreed that her mother treats her badly but what can he do ...here's an example... the boys started school tues...on monday because they needed clothes they finally asked to go ... so he takes them shopping SD is crying when he gets back home because mom did not buy her anything for school ... wed the boys go to mom's ... SD asked her mom to take her for a hair cut mom said no you don't need it 15 minutes later she told the boys they needed their haircut so she took them while SD watched. SD said she was crying the whole time and mom kept calling her names then told her to go sit in the car she couldn't look at her ugly face anymore.... The boys called hubby to tell him they need blah blah blah for school so he heads outs and gets specific binders notebooks and calculators drops it off at mom's house ... SD again crying she didn't get anything for school and everything mom said and did while the boys got their haircuts.... he says well I have to wait till I get paid to get more stuff broke already with buying the boys stuff.... more bawling. So now I am feeling bad for her the victim again ... I basically told him not to buy her anything until she can behave and not treat him me or the boys badly ... he said he was going to buy her some stuff because it is his daughter even if her mom has custody... I said I really don't care if you do or not but I want you to play hero not just give it blindly ... each time she comes here give her something rather than all at once .. I wish I could like her because I do feel sad for her at times but she causes so much misery its hard to feel bad. Since this incident I have not been alone with SD hubby is here if she is here if he has to leave he takes her with him .... if he goes outside he makes her go with him ... Her behavior has improved its only been two weeks but it been okay... she is being pleasant, no attitude in her voice, no snarky comments, trying to be funny, playing nicely with the cats, probably jinxing it ... but its been a nice two weeks... shows me there is hope for her. I can't imagine being IMA dealing with a baby and an unruly child ... I would take that $158 and find some teenager or neighborhood mother to bring her to school. I do not wake children up for school or bring them to school...NMKNMP.

I add my condolences to the others here... It's good to simply say (or type) the words. Then they aren't just inside you, alone...(perhaps that makes sense). Should you choose to share more, I'm glad to listen...I know many here would be also... Here's hoping things will only improve for you from now on.