I printed off your information...here is what we are doing in the northern tip of MI :) First Fruits Harvest Garden 4644 M-33 Hwy. Onaway, MI 49765 While there are many needs in other countries and hungry everywhere, the goals of First Fruits are to: *Feed the local community with organically grown, open pollinated, local vegetables. To be distributed through the FOOD Pantry currently established on site. *Provide a place for those who wish to grow their own produce and provide seed, etc. *Open pollinated seeds will be saved and used/given away. No hybrids will be used. This establishes a fresh Seed Bank as well. Current and future goals are: raised-bed gardens, grains, water supply, storage and greenhouse. Should such a project fail, monies would be donated to the local food pantry and people would still be fed Projected Budget- $500 establishes the garden plot including seed. $3600 establishes a greenhouse and storage area. Overall projected budget of operation to start is $4100. After the initial investment maintenance follows and the budget reduces. Project Manager, Earl Bassett

So far, i only have two plants, one in each bucket. Those are the indeterminate tomato plants that I got from someone who got the seeds from a good tomato they got at the market. I wish I knew more about what kind of tomato plant it is. My winter will start in January, but with the shift in weather patterns being what it is, our winters have been colder and longer than ever. Anything that is left outside will die when we get our really cold weather. Most other things are in dirt in pots, or in Hydro and can be moved. The garage will get too cold for most of it too. This weekend I plan to switch some pepper plants to hydro. I wish I knew which was which because I would prefer to move one of the mild, or Serrano plants to hydro, not any of the really hot peppers. Now I am off to find someone that can tell me why the gender of my cumber flowers is not so obvious as what I saw on YouTube. Joe

We've been married for 14 years now and we lived together for 3 years before that. While we were cohabitating I never allowed our finances to be comingled. It was incredibly difficult for us to make the financial transition after we married. Truly, of all things that was THE most difficult. I have always been the "skinflint" and the "nervous nellie" when it comes to money. I remember living in a little town where there were no jobs... and how humiliating it was to have to ask for some money to go to a movie and then to ask for some for popcorn, too. An "allowance" was never offered and I had to "justify" every request for money. It was a defining time in my life. I swore, that when I got my first job NO ONE WOULD EVER USE MONEY TO CONTROL ME AGAIN. And I remember being so afraid of what I didn't know... balancing a checkbook, making intelligent decisions with savings, investing. My parents never talked about money, it was as though it was "dirty"; even though they lived frugally and lacked for nothing. I sucked it up and learned how to do those things because if I didn't, I understood I would be vulnerable and in a position to be manipulated. And you know what? it's not hard, at all! it's actually fun. The helpmeet was much more cavalier than I with respect to money (didn't take much, lol). He was never a wanton spender, but he wasn't always so good about getting bills out on time and never lost much sleep about interest or finance charges (drove me nuts). But he had a much healthier attitude in the greater context; never laboring under the awful, nagging fears that I did. So... after a few good fights about it we sat down for a "board meeting". We agreed to do the bills together; but I was given the responsibility to call the terms because doing so allowed me to put the kibosh on interest charges and any late fees. We worked out a strict budget and he stuck to it. We lucked out, I suppose. He's no longer is "late", pays no interest, and we no longer fight about money (he has thanked me for showing him how easy it can be!). Either of us could pick up the reins and take over in the event of catastrophe. Best of all, though, I am now at ease with money; no one controls me with it and I'm secure in the knowledge that there is plenty of it to meet whatever needs we have and even enough to spend on FUN THINGS! (imagine that?!) I will go to my grave knowing he imparted that simple belief to me; it set me free. Really. It wasn't easy gettin' here. You mustn't allow your husband to dodge the issue by saying he's "sick of spread sheets"... that's an excuse (and it's unfair to put the responsibility for success or failure on YOU!), the spending isn't about the new toy, it's about something bigger. I'd bet a nickel on that. If you want to get to a trusting place with your finances you have begin by being honest and putting all your debts on paper, establishing a budget and being accountable for it, and sitting down TOGETHER every month. Silvercomet is absolutely right... this is IMPORTANT stuff. It doesn't have to be unpleasant, either. One of the nicest aspects of this process for us is the time we spend together talking about what we want for our future(s). It's gone from perfunctory attention to bills and statements to presenting ideas/goals/and seeing possibilities emerge. It's empowering and it's FUN.

I'm not cranky, nor am I going to attack... I can understand how it would be difficult to build a relationship with a child when you do not care for his/her personality... there are five children in total and I'm sure the others take up plenty of your time & energy. You are not obligated to love him or have a relationship any more than he is obligated to love or have a relationship with you. Let his father parent him. It's not your job. He does not live there, he only visits... so let his father spend time with him and have a relationship with him. You can focus on your children. Having unrealistic expectations about everyone in the family should feel any certain way about each other, is only setting up disappointments. You are not going to change his personality, he is not going to warm up to you when he may feel your dislike of his personality. If you can't handle accepting that you are not going to change him, then you might consider leaving the relationship or removing yourself from the situation when he is there. It would be horrible if your feelings make his visits less than enjoyable for him and his father or worse, if he were to stop seeing his father because of you. So, take him off your to do list and move on. He is not your child, he is not your problem... there is nothing to fix besides your attitude toward him. Quite frankly, I was a bit outraged at the mention of DNA. My SD is 10. A few months ago, her mother shouted at my DH that he isn't even her father... and for a couple of days, he considered a DNA test. My SD looks NOTHING like my DH. I would be lying if I said it never crossed my mind but she is 10 years old, he is her father... he loves her & she loves him. Isn't that more important than DNA? I asked my DH what he would do if the results came back that he was not biologically her father, he didn't want to find out. It would devastate him. I cannot imagine why anyone would voice that question after so many years when a relationship has been formed and the one that will be crushed will surely be the child if they lost the person they thought was their parent. How horrible is that? It made my heart break when I read that. As for shaping kids that don't live with you... kids are not shaped by ONE person. They are shaped by all the life experiences and people in their lives. Parents are primary but they learn from their teachers, friends, neighbors, clergy, and even strangers they see in public, who they may never meet. I also don't believe it's possible to contain your displeasure for someone unless you are good at being fake. You may smile but we all give out vibes and kids are excellent at feeling that out... from birth. If you can't change your feelings, the best thing you can do to make the situation bearable for everyone is to keep your distance and let him have a relationship with his father.