My kids used to spend lots and lots of time with my mother. She was, and still is, very active, has a pool in her back yard, etc. Like you, she spends way too much money on them. She still has lots of energy, she's the same person she was, but my kids don't spend nearly as much time with her now. As stargazzer says, they want to spend time with their friends. They rarely ever spend the night anymore, even though they used to practically live over there in the summers. I don't know what your budget is, how comfortable you are with technology, etc. One suggestion I have, if it fits your budget, is to get some kind of computer gaming station or something like that that your grandchildren will enjoy at your house (especially something they don't already have at their own house). You might look at something like a Wii(sp?), Dance Dance Revolution, etc. You might have enough energy to sit on the sofa and play those types of games with them - not dance dance revolution but some of the other games. Your 11 year old granddaughter should be able to set it up for you. The nice thing about gaming systems is that they don't make a mess, the kids love them, you don't have to always be running around after them. When my kids were as young as your grandchildren I limited their time on gaming systems, etc. But if you were my mom, I would surely make an exception so that you could still enjoy time with my kids. There are lots of things your son or daughter could do to help with this issue. Your son or daughter could once a month rent a really fun movie for them to watch, do something with them outdoors all day like swimming (so they are tired), and bring the kids and the movie to your house for a movie night. You could order takeout pizza, snuggle up and see a movie while your son/daughter has a night out with their spouse. The other thing you might do that makes things more manageable would be to have them over one at a time, not all at once. Here's my last suggestion, and again, you'd need your son/daughter's help. My mom lives in our subdivision, and I tried to teach my kids that it's their responsibility to help look after their grandmother. It's good for kids to be needed and contribute to the family. So if you were my mom, I would expect the older girls to come help you on a regular basis. The 10 and 11 year old could help you grocery shop, and their treat for helping might be to pick out some special food treat and have it at your house. My kids used to love to help me grocery shop, in fact they still do. They are old enough to "help" you by cooking simple meals for you. Sometimes when kids "help", it's way too much work for the adult. But if your son/daughter comes over at first and teaches them what to do, then your granddaughters will be terrific help. My mom always has something fun for my kids when they come help her - she bakes them brownies or something like that. Talk to your son/daughter and find some special treat you can get for your grandchildren that's unique to your house. If you are like my mom, you probably don't want to "put the kids out" by asking for help. But keep in mind that in the long run you are showing the kids how to be part of a close, loving family in good times and bad, and your grandkids will feel better about themselves in the long run. It's so much better for teenagers and young adults if they have a good relationship with loving grandparents. They need someone else to talk to when their mean old parents don't like their boyfriend, or is mad about their grades, or won't let them pierce their eyebrows or get a motorcycle. So don't feel that you are imposing by getting help from your granddaughters. My mother misses my kids terribly.

Thank you, everyone, for your support. I did have a good cry (several, in fact) and am feeling more calm and accepting, I guess. SS is doing pretty well right now. It ended up being mostly just the usual; he came home filthy (he hadn't changed his underwear, bathed, or brushed his teeth all weekend), hungry (he had chocolate milk and two pieces of pizza as he wasn't allowed a third piece all day Sunday), exhausted (he's allowed/encouraged to stay up very late -after midnight- until BM goes to bed and then she takes him to sleep with her). Also as usual he was pretty much ignored except when dragged around on Sunday to be shown off to relatives (and we think used as an excuse to get invited to dinner). He tried to discuss some of his concerns re Christmas with BM; fortunately she didn't scream but also apparently didn't listen/ask questions/express concern. She again told him there was no money for presents or "a Christmas"; he finally told her that he didn't want to come and she just said "You are". Our attorney has told us that one withheld visitation occurring after a mod petition has been filed almost certainly will have no effect on anything custody wise and at most might result in a fine. Make of that what you will. :-) SS is feeling better since he was informed of a certain decision that DH did not make lightly. He requested to speak with his counselor again as he's been very upset about it all. I spoke with her briefly as we're always trying to make sure that the right thing is being done, and to be sure that we're not inadvertently influencing SS (it's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain a poker face when tales of BM are being recounted). She agreed that it is possible that BM has something planned that doesn't involve ruining SS's holiday out of spite - but she didn't really believe that any more than DH, SS or I do. SS was convinced that not only will she not get him anything, as she told him, but that she will deliberately stay up very late so that Santa does not come to bring him anything either. His other concern was that since Santa has never left him any presents there, nor is he mentioned, obviously (to him) Santa does not bring his BM anything because "she's bad". So he also worried that if Santa brought him presents but left nothing for BM that she would scream at him. He said something very concerning to me on the way to counseling yesterday. He told me that sometimes he wished he were in heaven so he didn't have to see BM. When I questioned him he said his main concern was that what if it was all wrong, what if "bad people" were allowed into heaven and then he would still have to see her anyway. He has promised me if he has more thoughts like that to discuss them with me, DH, counselor, teacher, anyone. Unfortunately he told Sunday school teacher that BM was mean to him and screamed, so they discussed in class about honoring thy father and mother, and it was explained to him how he should behave better so she is "not so stressed". I cannot fault the woman because I am sure that she was imagining a typical "I asked the kid five times to shut off the TV and come to dinner and then I yelled" kind of thing - but poor SS. It really makes me wonder how many kids who are sexually or physically abused are asking for help and the adults are just not hearing it. We also confirmed other suspicions this weekend. BM's BF is in prison for parole violation; he's a career criminal. But as soon as he gets out they'll be married and live happily ever after, with custody of SS, and both of us paying CS. Anyway, that being the case in fantasyland, BF's mother is often over visiting and SS is encouraged to call her GM. (Strangely not step-grandma, nor "my mother's future husband's mother". Huh.) Anyway, we found that, well, her record is not quite as extensive as her son's. The years of drug possession charges (in addition to others) are not particularly surprising to either DH nor I due to the fact that SS had already told us that she is "funny" because she always thinks that "bugs are on her skin and in her hair". We haven't even started to figure out what to do with that mess yet. To wrap up my very long update, the pet may/may not be doing better. She's on steroids; vet said she might show a brief improvement for a very short time and then it's rapidly downhill. She is showing improvement so DH and I are holding out hope for a miracle (or a misdiagnosis; we opted out of the $1500 tests so it was more of an educated guess to her condition). Meanwhile we are taking advantage of the fact that everyone at the moment is feeling OK to do holiday stuff together; if we could just freeze an evening in time for a while I think I'd be happy.

Thank you ALL for your responses. Each has helped clarify add'l thoughts I've had and brought up new ones! I THINK I've made a decision about what I need to do. As of this moment, I'm going to buy a 30" black glass induction cooktop - 4 burners. When I want to use one of my non-induction pans, I'm going to use a heavy-duty gas, 12,000 BTU portable unit that runs on Butane (1 hr. of continuous high BTUs usage; 2-3 hrs. for medium)! It's clear that my needs for those won't be often, but it WILL solve most of my issues that were bothering me and I won't have to give ALL of my favorite pans away that I so feared. And I'll still have access to BOTH induction AND gas (my original duel-fuel passion)! The reviews for this particular 12,000 BTU gas unit were outstanding and it's cost is less than $50 for the privilege. I was considering the Bosch Flexinduction or the highly praised (by reviewers) Frigidaire FGIC 3067MB. But, now I've noticed here the Bosch 800 being discussed for less $$ than the Flex if one doesn't need the flexible pods (which I don't, really). Frigidaire has about all the goodies EXCEPT individual burner timers at around $1100 or so with just terrific reviews on amazon - an amazing price point. Can anyone point out some detriments of these three that I may not have noticed or be aware of? What would all of us unknowing people do without all your input and kind help??

When you repotted, was the potting mix dry and, if so, did you mechanically mix water into it before using it? As someone above mentioned, absolutely dry peat moss repels water. Water usually needs to be mechanically mixed into dry peat moss, so it is uniformly moist, before it is used. Small talk: Many years ago, I had two flower boxes on the garage that were filled with peat- lite mix. During the winter, the mix dried out. My mother would habitually use these flower boxes as ash trays to extinguish her cigarettes. One day there was a smoldering fire in one of the boxes that made a big stink. I flooded it with water from a garden hose, but that didn't extinguish the fire. I had to dump out the contents and stir water into the peat-lite to put out the fire.