My mother-in-law used to let our nephew go outside to the front step and piddle overboard into her flower garden. I thought it was a bit weird, considering the proper bathroom was closer when you were already in the house. I guess she was smarter than I thought. BTW I'm surprised you were able to keep from laughing. Maybe you could post a little sign, LOL.

So I've been reading conflicting reports...I have a question here. I just scored a big bag of Starbucks grounds/filters, and had a decent collection of various other table scraps/cardboard I wanted to add to the pile. So I went ahead and turned it, added all the new additions, hosed lightly, and re leveled the pile. Some say let the pile cool down, and that's when you turn the pile to get it to reheat. Others say let it cook for a few days, and then turn, to get the pile to cook evenly. (taking care of any cold spots). What's the consensus here? I know either way, compost will happen. :) Just curious...

When I was in college, somebody once told me that if you ever wake up with bullfrogs on your mind, it's a sure sign that you have bullfrogs on your mind (I think alcohol may have been involved). For some reason, though, his statement has stuck with me and I've been able to apply it to other situations. Maybe the mushrooms in your compost are a sign of mushrooms in your compost. In other words, it may be that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

If you have a lot of waste now & want to reduce the volume of it keep a hot pile going for as long as you have the energy for it or as long as the weather allows comfortable gardening. If you have more space than energy, just add layers. When I have a lot of material I prefer to add to the sides to build a long pile keeping it at least 4' wide & tall by however long you have materials to build it. Building a pile wider than 5-6' makes it too much work to turn & the outer parts don't actively compost anyway. If you build your long pile you can turn it all to the left pulling middles out & the outer parts inside the pile. Then your next turn is to the right & so on. It's a great workout to turn compost piles & a pitchfork helps. I've used a hoe as well sometimes after at least 5 turns or so it gets easier because the materials are smaller. Either way, turn left & leave it for a few days or a week, then turn it right the next time. If it doesn't keep heating after a turn or adding moisture you'll need to add more greens in whatever form you have available. It seems like 100% leaves are slow to compost, but if you've shredded them & mix with the green grass clippings it speeds up. Use what you have around to cover it like a tarp, upside down old carpet, wet cardboard, feed sacks, or burlap bags. Again it's either energy, time or space that limits your composting projects.