Of course I'll do it.

17 years ago

Was surprised to have been asked to be a pall bearer for an acquaintence this morning. His funeral will be in about an hour and 45 minutes. We really weren't friends, in fact we almost never agreed on anything. We both had served 2 terms on the city council, my first term overlapping his second. Our views on practically everything were opposite and some rather heated arguments took place. We also served on a board and several committees at the church we both attended. This is not to say that I didn't respect him and his intellect but such an acerbic personality if you didn't agree with him.

Leone has been at the church for a couple of hours, it is the turn of her circle to prepare the luncheon and cake and coffee later. Wish there was a way I could get out of attending the luncheon, I hate the chicken and rice with broccoli casserole they have been asked to serve, of course there will be the stadard jello salads with grated carrots and pineapple in it which I dislike even more than the casserole.

Really, the man was very good for the community and the church and I will be a pallbearer to honor his service to all of us but when it comes time for me to check out there will be no funeral or fuss, just graveside service for family and no chicken, rice broccoli casserole. I will leave enough for all of the family to meet at a good restaurant and have a few drinks and a good meal on me. Enough, best go dig out a suit and tie and get ready. Seems as though this is getting to be a regular activity anymore.

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Comments (7)

gandle
Original Author
17 years ago
bump
minnie_tx
17 years ago
I think it is an honorable thing you are doing.
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tibs
17 years ago
Having been thru the funerals of m-i-l and my dad within the past few years, I have decided it doesn't matter what I want for my funeral, I will not be there. It is what my living family wants. My dad was a no fuss, no muss type person, who had been retired for over 20 years. It meant so much to my mother that people who had worked with him all those years ago came to pay their repects and tell her that he had been a good man to work for and tell her stories. Dad would have thought it a lot of hooey, but it did her a world of good. So even though I would prefer cremation and dumped on my composte pile, what ever makes the family feel good.

And it is a good thing you are doing to serve as a pallbearer.
meldy_nva
17 years ago
I'm thinking that it was a sign of the respect he held for you, that you were asked to be a pallbearer. A point of being American to be able to hold and express opposing viewpoints, and still respect [rather than shoot] each other.

Tibs, I never thought of the compost pile. My family understands that I wish my discarded shell to be cremated, and I suggested that the ashes be put beneath an apple tree, preferably in a public park, with a birdbath to one side and a comfy bench on the other side. And that there be a barbeque picnic rather than a memorial service, with an ecletic assortment of good music in the background, tables full of a variety of foods, and plenty of jokes told.
shilty
17 years ago
Well, Hubby's mum will be 90 in a few weeks. After her second stroke, she's got a life of fog, never quite understanding or remembering enough to get through a day. Unhappy where she is, can't be anywhere else. As I say, we'll dispose of our own junk, and take up a life style to help us go quick and in mid stride....but after reading these posts, I think Gandle has a wonderful idea! Think we'll start having a wake every year - we'll invite everyone we know, a good meal, a few drinks, some music, while we can still enjoy them.

Seriously, Gandle....I think that you were asked means that those closest to him heard him mention you in fond tones, respect, and like. You done a good thing.

s
kathyjane
17 years ago
Gandle, I hear you... too many funerals----I had to clear out my 'Funeral Purse' last month----too full of funeral service bulletins.....last one was hard----unexpected passing of a good friend of many years' standing----one more link to the past, gone.
(I guess it's always unexpected, even when it's imminent. The last breath is always a shock....)

Glad you honored the job you were asked to do, in spite of those nasty Jello concoctions!! :o)
redclaygirl
17 years ago
He must have had tremendous respect for you to ask you to be a pallbearer. That is an honor.
The food~ that is understandable. I guess just do the best you can.

You are a good man to be thinking of your family after you are gone. Some people don't. Leave their families in a mess. My FIL did, no insurance, the grown children had to take up the slack for what their father did not do. So SAD...

Of course I'll do it.

Comments (7)

gandle
Original Author

minnie_tx

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Of course I'll do it.

Comments (7)

gandleOriginal Author

minnie_tx

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gandle
Original Author