I was wrong and I'll admit it...(sorta' long)

13 years ago

Okay, so I'm licking the egg off my face. After the discussions about 'coloring your hair' and 'how old do you look', I have a confession to make. I took the jump, I did it, faced up to the fact that my gray hair, or what I termed 'salt & pepper', made me look....old.

So what, you asked, did I do? I colored my hair. I gave up the ghost and I have to tell you all that if I'd have known what an amazing difference it made I would have done it years ago (she says as she hangs her head in abject embarrassment). The reaction has been nothing less than unbelievably positive from family, friends, acquaintances and co-workers.

Long story short...at a union dinner last week of about 50 people, I looked around the room at all the women with gray hair. There were between 10 and 12 of them, and as I looked at each of them I realized that none of them looked youthful. Granted, they looked like little old ladies of the dowdy variety, but I started wondering if that's what I looked like to them and to other people. Kind of scary but not in a bad sort of way, more in a self-awareness kind of way.

When I get home I asked my DH if my gray hair made me look old and without missing a beat his answer was "yes". I asked him why he never mentioned this and he said it's because I'm beautiful. Okay, give the man credit LOL. The next day I called my hairdresser because I had my appointment for a cut, and I asked him if he would be able to fit a color in my appointment. I thought the man would pass out. I've been going to him for quite a few years and he's brought up the suggestion of coloring my hair twice in all that time. He said he would definitely fit me in if we had to be there until midnight. Now give that man credit, too ;o)

That evening everyone at the salon was gathered around for the big reveal. When it was all said and done they all clapped and cheered! I'm still in shock. It's perfect, it really is. People have mentioned more than once that now they can really see how beautiful my skin is. DH mentioned that right off the bat. He's always commented on my skin and so have others, but now it seems everyone is seeing it. I swear it took 15 years off how I looked. I still believe that age should be embraced and I'm not trying to 'turn back the clock', but I actually look close enough to the age that I feel, and I don't feel a day over 45.

I'm not going to post a pic on this thread until tonight because I have to have DS take one of the new me.

So get out the wet noodles and give me a lashing. I deserve it.

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Comments (54)

Happyladi
13 years ago
Good for you! I can't wait to see a before and after picture.
stinky-gardener
13 years ago
Like everyone else, I'm looking forward to seeing your pics!

I admire how you stepped out of your comfort zone, Mrs. Marv! Embracing & owning your age & coloring your hair don't have to be mutually exclusive! I don't see any conflict.

You're still the real deal Mrs. M., but with a new look that makes your skin glow & makes you feel good. Yay!
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cooperbailey
13 years ago
Mrs Marv, you arent alone in your late in life discovery about the joys of hair color!
I didn't ever color my hair until I was 50 and had a big streak of gray. The highlights made such a difference not just because it covered the gray streak but it complemented my complexion much more than my dark brown hair- which had darkened greatly over the years.
BRAVA! Can't wait to see a photo!
tinam61
13 years ago
Good for you! I can't wait to see it!

A few years back, I went shorter with my hair and even though I was just 40ish, I was amazed at how many people told me I looked younger. It does make you wonder how you looked before. LOL

tina
CaroleOH
13 years ago
I can't wait to see the pictures! You know, you're going to hate having to deal with the roots every month but you get used to it and it's worth it!

Did you go dark, light, some more info please!! I found that going a lighter brown/dark blonde works best for me because my roots don't show quite so quickly. Plus, if you don't have a center part and have bangs, that makes touch ups not needed so frequently.
mrsmarv
Original Author
13 years ago
No pic yet...DS had to get to school early to purchase one more book. I'll have to wait for DH to get home to take a pic.

I went sort of a light brown with golden-reddish highlights. I didn't want anything dark because of my gray hairs. They're a b!tch to cover and are resistant to holding color for any long amount of time. I didn't want a "skunk" look after a few weeks and I don't part my hair in the middle, so hopefully I'll only have to contend with coloring it every 4 weeks or so. My hair grows extremely fast so we shall see.

Hopefully the reveal will happen by tomorrow morning. I'm not teasing you all, I just need a photographer (DH) to capture my best angle LOL.
newdawn1895
13 years ago
Good for you MM I can't wait to see it. I know I always listened to my girlfriends more than to my husband. Women know more about hair with the exception of your hairdresser.

....Jane
stinky-gardener
13 years ago
OMG, the suspense is killing me! Mrs. Marv, I guess I'll just have to check back in the morning! (I know it will be worth the wait!) Have a good night!
kitchenkelly
13 years ago
How exciting! Good for you for taking the leap.
Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
13 years ago
Thinking about you has made me smile all day!
yborgal
13 years ago
Can't wait to see the new you! And I'm proud of you for being brave enough to venture out of your comfort zone.
User
13 years ago
Where are you, lol!? I'm glad to hear you're so happy with your new change!
pammyfay
13 years ago
Let's hope she's a bit busy to pose for her "new me" photo cuz she's having Mr. Marv time!

HAHAHAHA!

(Seriously--have you ever seen the Today Show's Friday Plaza Makeovers? When the husbands/boyfriends see the made-over wives/girlfriends, you just KNOW what's gonna happen next! It's truly the funniest thing!)
mitchdesj
13 years ago
I'm glad you did it !; I have a few friends who stopped coloring and they love their S&P look and the fact that they don't have to color every month, but I can't help but remember their colored hair and how much vibrant it looked, well actually younger.
mrsmarv
Original Author
13 years ago
Checking in...photo is home in the camera but I had to be at work at 7:15 this morning for a meeting. I didn't have time to download the photo into the computer yet, so my apologies for not having the reveal ready to go. Stay tuned still...please?
teacats
13 years ago
Good for you!!!! It IS wonderful to find that something "works" -- just like magic! :)

I still remember the first time I had streaks added to my dishwater brown (formerly redhead but that is what happened as I aged) What a difference! Everyone noticed -- and now I color my hair myself! :)

Jan at Rosemary Cottage
Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
13 years ago
So, how did everyone at work like the new 'do?
mrsmarv
Original Author
13 years ago
Mr. Marv was kind enough to take a photo of me last night, but I didn't really look at it too closely. Gawd! I looked like Gloria Swanson from Sunset Boulevard ("I'm ready for my close up now, Mr. DeMille"). With that in mind, I didn't want to scare the bejeebers out of anyone so I just took a self-portrait.

This is me about 3 years ago at our local county fair. We were with our (much younger) friends who had their young 5-year old daughter and 2-week old son with them. We had a blast!

Me "before"...

And me "after"...please be honest and tell me what you really think. Any changes? Suggestions? Ideas? I'm ready!...psssst, I know I don't look 45, but I think it's a vast improvement.
natal
13 years ago
You don't look 60 in either pic, but honestly I think I like the gray better ... or maybe it's the hairstyle you had when it was gray vs. now.
teacats
13 years ago
Wow!!!

I ADORE the new look!! Very fresh and much warmer!

Jan at Rosemary Cottage (who has the almost the same style glasses as you! :)
User
13 years ago
I dont dislike the new color but I prefer the grey, it goes better with your skin tone.
terezosa / terriks
13 years ago
I like the new color better too - you do look younger!
graywings123
13 years ago
You look fantastic with the new hair color! You look(ed) matronly with the gray hair - but no more.

And the glasses are great too. What brand name are they?
golddust
13 years ago
I LOVE it!!! You look much younger! I really like the color with your skin tone. Perfect!
mrsmarv
Original Author
13 years ago
Okay, so it's 50% "for" and 50% "a'gin" LOL. I didn't dislike the gray, either, I just felt it was time for a change. I was feeling a bit stagnant. The "new" hairstyle is really the "old" hairstyle, only brushed differently. I'll try it gelled and moussed like in the before shot and put a new pic out for objective input. We're going out of town for a family Bat Mitzvah this weekend and I'm sure we'll get some nice pics taken when we're all gussied up.
I haven't had one person at work who hasn't liked it. Either that or they're being very diplomatic (and lying through their teeth). But I work with a bunch of teachers, TAs and staff who are incredibly honest, so I think they're telling teh truth. One thing people have mentioned IRL is that the new color goes so well with my skin tone. Some folks went as far as saying the change was almost subtle because it wasn't a "holy cow" type of change. Either way, I'm liking it and DH is really liking it, so for now it's a keeper. Talk to me in a year when I've been a slave to the maintenance ;o)
mrsmarv
Original Author
13 years ago
...ooops! The glasses are one of four pairs I own. These are by Norma Kamali and I love, love, love them.
nanny2a
13 years ago
IMHO I think you look at least 10 or more years younger with the new hair color, and I also think it's perfect for your coloring. The glasses, too, are cool, and young looking. I say "WOW'!!!
Happyladi
13 years ago
I think you look at least 10 years younger with your hair colored!
User
13 years ago
I really like the new look! I think it makes you look much younger. :) Very nice.
stinky-gardener
13 years ago
It's absolutely, positively...outstanding! As you said, it IS perfect! What a great colorist you have. It looks so natural & soft. You do have a great complexion, & the color really enhances it. Congratulations!!

Also, yes, the glasses couldn't be better...adorable!
Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
13 years ago
You look great! It does make you look younger. I want to see it gelled and moussed up like the before picture too.
It will help if you take the next picture at the same distance as your before.
eclecticme
13 years ago
WOW! That took 10 years off of you. It looks fantastic.
CaroleOH
13 years ago
I think you are one of the few people I've seen with gray hair where it was flattering. But it does make you look older, maybe it's the baby stroller in front of you, but you look like a loving grandmotherly type. Not so bad really!

That said, I do like your new hair color - it does make you look younger and I think if you spike it up a bit like your old photo, it will look even better. You don't look like you're trying to be too young looking - just a refreshed version of yourself!

I think the color is very close to the color of your eyebrows and the highlights make it look very natural.
barb5
13 years ago
I really like the new look too. I definately think it takes some years off your look.

But what I really notice when I look at both your pics is your happy warm expression, especially in your eyes. You look like a nice person who has a good sense of humor and who is happy with her life.
kitchenkelly
13 years ago
I love it! I can see the reddish color in there. How fun!
newdawn1895
13 years ago
Mrs.Marv you look great and the change in your personality is phenomenal.

....Jane
natal
13 years ago

the change in your personality is phenomenal

What have I missed? Do you two know each other?
newdawn1895
13 years ago
Let me explain this so Natal can understand. Mrs.Marv seems happier with the new do.
Boopadaboo
13 years ago
I wanted to post last night but fell asleep. Have to admit I almost didn't post after that last comment, but I will assume that the rude comment is part of some personal feud and post anyway.

I LOVE it Mrsmarv. I think it looks fabulous, and for sure 15 years off your look. Maybe more, since you have such great skin.

No one ever gets lashes for admitting they were wrong, or re-evaluating a situation. :) Thanks so much for sharing, and I am happy for you that you went for it!
natal
13 years ago
Sorry Jane, it sounded like maybe you knew each other IRL.
cooperbailey
13 years ago
No contest! Keep the cut and the color! The cut is youthful and the color just looks so good on you- it's perfect.
if you go gray again for some reason(hope not)- keep this cut.
mahatmacat1
13 years ago
WOW, Mrsmarv! I would say in the first pic you look maybe 50, and in the second pic no more than maybe 43 or so. You have such great skin, and the warmest eyes and smile...you just have to get that crick out of your neck so your head will be able to stand upright ;) (I KNOW you were doing it on purpose, but it was just funny to see in both pics :)) If I were your hairstylist, I'd be bragging "mission accomplished" :)
legomom23
13 years ago
I think the color and style of the second cut are very flattering and more current than the styled first one. Count me in - a great job - and so happy that you love it!
jlc712
13 years ago
I agree that you look great with your new hair color! It is very subtle and pretty. I think you could gradually go darker and like it.

Your first picture: pretty, happy grandma.
Second pic: pretty, happy, mid life woman!
User
13 years ago
Coming back to comment again. You looked nice in the gray. It worked with your skin tone but this just makes you looks much younger and chic, IMO.
PRO
Lori A. Sawaya
13 years ago
Dang! I love the new color. Very stylish with those glasses as well.

I don't think keeping your hair colored is all that much work. Course I've been *blonde* ever since I had a job @16 so maybe I'm not a good one to comment on maintenance. lol!

I also do it myself out of a box every now and then. Having a back-up boxed hair color can be handy.
upa_lazy_river
13 years ago
MrsMarv, I don't post a lot, but your before and after picture needed comment, Great before picture, but an Outstanding after picture. I love the new look and your glasses are perfect.

For those of us that wear glasses, I think it helps to stay with a current style. I've also colored my hair since my early 40's and I'm 62 now and never plan on seeing myself with gray hair....!
kgwlisa
13 years ago
Well I am going to rush and get into this post before it tops out at 150 so I can say that you look FABULOUS, mrsmarv! It looks so natural and perfect on you! I'm glad I saw this post too because if i ever run into you at hobby lobby again I might not have recognized you with the new do!
kgwlisa
13 years ago
now I feel silly... it was a another post that was at 148, not this one. Need more sleep :-p
mrsmarv
Original Author
13 years ago
Thank you to everyone who posted ~ My DS came over and the first thing he said was, "Nice hair, Mom. You look pretty hip". Gotta' love it!

Lisa ~ I still have the funky glasses LOL, so you'd probably recognize me ;o)

I agree about wearing current and up-to-date glasses. I find that if your glasses are "marmy", it makes you look matronly. That's the first thing I changed and updated a few years ago and I haven't looked back.

I was wrong and I'll admit it...(sorta' long)

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