My DD is 8 and probably one of the thinnest girls in her class at school. It's hard to shop for her. Even with the pants with the adjustable waistband, we cinch those up tight as they go. At the same time, she has a big appetite. So while people tell me how thin she is, if they've seen her eat they never ask "Don't you feed her?" LOL. She is a gymnast. So when people see her in short sleeves and shorts, summer clothes, what they notice is how muscular she is. Her practices include conditioning and her coaches talk to the girls about making healthy food choices. So while DD eats several times a day, she eats bananas, yogurt, etc. DD is average height. Some of the girls on her gym team are also shorter than average, so overall very petit. But when they do more sit ups than anyone else in PE as school, no one tells them they are "too skinny" or makes any assumptions about their size! The girls surely know they are small. But they know first that they are strong. Some people have expressed concern about young girls being in gymnastics, that they will feel pressure to by skinny, not eat well. But clearly, we've had exactly the opposite experience! The coaches want the girls to feel strong and healthy and to love their bodies enough to care for them. I would completely ignore the comments of others. Put her in a sport that suits her, that will develop a healthy body image that is about strength and fitness. She is my only DD (my others are boys). At her age, her body image is developing and how that takes shape now will last a lifetime. I cannot say enough about the positive impact I think being involved in a sport she loves is having on her self-esteem and body image. On the occassion that DD is told she's skinny, she will show them her muscles! LOL!

That picture of Camryn is absolutely adorable!! To me that one tops all the ones posted of her so far. And it goes without saying that Grant just keeps on getting cuter. (Guess I'll have to change that to more handsome one of these days.) They all look like they're having a great time. Shirley

Barbra, I am hoping that I helped answer some of your questions. I too have gathered scrapbook pages (with the help of a great many of you on here) for a little girl who had lukemia. Unfortunatly she passed away but her mother loves the books and pages that were made by the many people who tried to make her life special. I know your friend and her daugther will especially treasure these books and I hope for a good out come for her daughter. Love Penny

May I ask how much Dad is actually home during daughter's visit? Your 'right of refusal' might work part of the weekend, but I think you may want to really think this one through before exercising it completely or inisting the entire weekend is off limits. The basic clause likely states in place of daycare, sitter, relative blah blah. If Dad is home on Friday evening by say 7ish and still has time to be there and spend enjoyable time with daughter...it may be best to go for having Dad pick daughter up at the 7ish (either your home or a neutral spot). Again, is he off and running early Saturday? Is it noon-ish before he leaves SM with daughter? Dad might have to bring daughter back before he takes off for the day. Where I'm going with this is that the child desires to see her father and even though she does not care to be left with the SM she does say she 'had a good time'. Will opening up your 'right' cause additional friction and 'games' between the situation with the SM? Does the daughter really 'hate' the SM time or is she (like Ima suggested) picking up on your feelings and the stress of others surrounding you when it come to her weekend? You were pretty stressed out earlier this last weekend. Did she feel/sense this building in you/other's in your family and maybe feel she was betraying you? Maybe feel she had to be home because her mom/others really need her there and get stressed/upset/sad when she goes away? In other words, is it possible that unintentionally you/others played a part in her building anxiety? You're not dealing with 'normal' people here. This father and SM are a bit nutty (based on your previous thread postings)...I guess I kinda fear what the nuts will do for 'payback' if you 'win' and stop weekend visits entriely based on the fact Dad is gone 'alot'. There is a chance it may be better to demand your 'right to refuse' and then work with them via the clause initially so daughter is not left for long stretches with just SM but also does go ...yes, it might mean a few weeks/months of extra running for you/dad while the daughter is taken back and forth. I just think you need to step back, look at everything, ask the professionals their opinions (lawyers, counselors, teachers who are aware and famaliar with what's going on) and weigh what might really be in child's best interest. Maybe 'conditions' could be used in bargaining your right to refual? Something along the lines that while Dad is 'gone' daughter can phone you once to let you know she is ok/having goodtime/miserable whatever. Dad can like it or not but since you do indeed have the first right to refuse clause he is under legal means to have to follow the clause. He can't 'deny' notifying you. He can't 'deny' you the 'right' to exercise the clause you both agreed to have included in the court papers. But the clause does not mean the daughter 'must' remain with you entirely, it merely gives you first chance to request in place of daycare, sitter, relative you get the option of the daughter spending the time he's missing from the scene with you instead...how detailed is your clause and how much room does the wording leave open to interpretation aka could drive a semi through the loose wording and loop holes?