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tibs_gw

Moving Mom- hope we both survive

14 years ago

I know there are posters here who are in their 80's. You all seem so sane, so reasonable. But we are not related, and I am not helping you downsize to move. I have a theory that we should switch parent responsibility when we get middle aged. No emotional baggage with someone elses mother. Or father. So hard and sad to tell your parent what to do.

So anyways, have finally insisted that mom move to independent living. Mainly for the social contact and to get her into a one floor living arrangement. Moving from an apartment she has been in for oh, 20 years. The last place she and dad lived. And oh my goodness the stuff. I cannot believe they had a full blown auction when they moved from their home. Mom sews and reads. Keeps up on the medical world (she was a nurse eons ago) Takes notes on everything she reads. If there were a note taking competion she would win hands down. We are getting rid of the majority of it. They are out dated. We kids don't want any of it. We can get the latest on the 'net. I feel so bad, like all her life is was a waste and it is getting tossed in the dumpster.

Then there is the raised-poor-during- the-depression mind set. This was a good mind set for years. I came out of college debt free because of my parents' frugal ways. Mom was very good at making something useful form odds and ends. It now works against her because it takes her too long to do something and it doesn't turn out the way she wants. We have had a few disagreements. Actually these are me yelling and her telling me to hush. I think I have worn her down. I don't like to see her give in, but am glad because things are easier for me. Selfish of me.

Phrases I never want to hear again:

"I might need that" The woman has been ruined by the boyscout motto of Be Prepared. No one needs 20 empty peanut butter jars, I don't care if you can't get glass ones anymore.

"they don't make them anymore" True, because they are obsolete.

"couldn't the grandkids use it" No. Two are clear across the country. It would cost more to ship than buy new. If they lived here, yes. No, they are not setting up house now and I do not have room for all this. No, they hate anything "old"

She had beautiful pillow cases embroidered, lace edging, never been used. Wedding presents. From 1948.

I come home and drink a beer (and I don't like beer, and am not much of a drinker at all). And pitch some of my own accumulation, because after all, I am my mother's daughter.

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