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Peoples is just sooooo busy now, Gandle. I remember reading your thread when I came in for lunch and I know my lunchtime browsing was short and sweet, especially over two holidays famous for flower sales. I cleaned my PC screen tonight, as there were actually streaks of catsup running down it. I thought I needed my eyes checked but I can see fine now. LOL.

My daughter and I did our grave decorating on Sunday. I had thirteen pots of flowers tucked in the back of the jeep and there were two huge fresh floral arrangements. I went with my parents when they, and eventually I, moved back to our home and I was passed the baton to upkeep the graves. My daughter goes with me now, so that some day she can be the keeper of the family keys. Of course, each grave we stop at, I tell a story from our family history. She is antsing at me to get it down on paper. Well, it is, in eight volumes of notebooks, and stacks of documents. I want to compile it, but I just don't know where to start. It would look like "War and Peace".

The last grave we decorated was my third great grandfather Timith McGee. I replaced his headstone several years ago with a Civil War style stone because the original one placed had become illegible. He was on a forced March in winter, and the troops had no tents and very little gear. He contracted pneumonia, and those who sickened and fell were left laying in the snow. He was found by Morgan's Raiders, a Confederate band who made it all the way to Ohio and taken prisoner and sent to a Prison Camp. What sounded like the worst possible fate, probably saved his life. He was eventually traded in a prisoner exchange, and came home to resume his life as a miner. His lungs were shot, and the poor man dragged himself to the mines accompanied by two of his very young sons to eke out enough living to feed his family. He didn't live very long thereafter and I have copies of the letters his wife wrote pleading for a pension to survive.

Some of his friends sent along letters of confirmation about his illnesses contracted in the line of duty and they said he was a giant of a man, and strong as an ox and nobody could beat him in a fight. The ironic thing is, I found his old land deeds on a plat and he and other members of his family owned farms in the area of my son's farm. I need to check the exact locations by section numbers, but I suspect my son's farm is the same land his 4th g'grandfather once farmed. Not passed down through family, but obtained through circumstance......or was it?

Then I became a little melancholy because one always assumes they'll be remembered by the generations following them. It's a rare person indeed who can even name all of his/her great grandparents. That's way too soon to be forgotten.

We - me, my mom, my 2 aunts, and 2 female cousins - it's "women's work" I guess in my family - none of the men have ever gone - women really are stronger when it comes to sutff like that, usually - decorate 7 graves, at 3 cemeteries. There are plenty more in small towns scattered through Oklahoma, and I'm sometimes ashamed that I never got to them.

While driving from one to the other on Sunday, one of my aunts said, "You know, there are really only 3 people who we should be visiting today." It took me a while to figure out what she meant. But, she meant, only 3 of the people really got to live nice full long lives. My Great Grandpa (dad's mom's dad), my Graddaddy (my mom's dad), and one of my Great Aunts (mom's aunt) - They all lived into their 80's. Everyone else died so young.

Great Uncle Glenny died in Vietnam at 18 (dad's mom's baby brother)
Great Aunt Wanda died in her mid-50's (dad's mom's younger sister)
Grandma and Pawpaw - she died at 57, he died at 51 (dad's mom and dad)
Uncle Brian died in his early 40's (cousin's dad)
And my cousin, Joshua, died when he was just 3 days old. Six months premature, 29 years ago in August... it's strange to think about how different our whole family might have been if he had lived. There wouldn't have been such a big age difference between me (first born) and my cousins (next is 5.5 years younger than me). I know I probably would have been different. Every time I visit his grave, it makes me think. Everyone in the family still just calls him, "The Baby"... "We're going to The Baby's grave next." Just a habit at this point I guess. I wonder what kind of 29 year old man he would have been?

Gah! I just said that Joshua was "6 months premature" which is not correct. He was born AT 6 months... he was 3 months premature.

I combined 2 holidays this month. Mother's day and Memorial Day. My mother likes to have the flowers on the graves before Memorial day so when all the rest of the people come ours are all on display. Besides, it is too croweded on Memorial day. So for mothers day I took her and planted flowers. Hope they survived the several frosts we had after that, the graves are on a hill with some tree cover. Haven't been back to check, The cemetary is three counties over.

She tells me her father in law planted the whole grave, width of tombstone and 6 feet out, truely a flower bed. Not allowed to do that anymore, too much maintenance. 18' out and no trees or shtrubs. I am glad we are in the old part of the cemetary that has trees and shrubs. DH went this year. His family did not have this practice until his mother passed and then his dad and now his sisters do this.

I usually go on Mothers Day and Memorial Day but only did car visits so far this year. I hope to be in better shape in the next couple of weeks to get up there and straighten things out and plant a little something. The sedums are much thicker on one side of the headstone and need to be divided. As strange as the weather has been it's probably good it's taken me this long to get the graves cleaned. I do our neighbors too since their family doesn't and they were very good to me as a child and again when I moved back here as an adult. Sweet people with no children.

George, I've always been sad to have had no children but at least I don't have that sad task of putting flowers on their graves. I'm sure the joy of their lives outweighs the sorrow, but at least I've been spared that particular pain.

It's true Suzy that we forget our ancestors way too soon. As scattered as our family is I don't expect to be remembered for more than a decade or two. That is very interesting how the land may well have come back to the family.