It has been over two years since this post was written. Here is a quick update. We tried two assisted living facilities, we did a nursing home, we did three group homes, and during this time she's had a big hospitalization, so there was the acute care and a rehab hospital. We hired four different in-home aides to help. One ripped us off for about 40 thousand dollars. You read that right. Forty Grand. She'd take my MIL to the hairdressers or out to lunch, only she was stopping at the bank for my MIL and would take a few thousand each trip. She cleaned my MIL out from her savings. And, she took some antique linens, some jewelry from my MIL and me. She took some Polish Pottery from my china cabinet, and basically, had a field day at our expense. (Yes, there are police reports. Only no prosecutions as my MIL is the primary witness and she is useless and the aide swears that it was all given to her as gifts.) One aide was horrible and we canned her after two weeks of paying her to sit and drink coffee and do nothing, the other two were okay, but not worth the money or time. As soon as my MIL would say she didn't want a shower or whatever, they felt compelled to honor her patient rights. The facilities, to a last one all failed. My MIL was a horrible fit for each one and ended up turning me into the state, the county, and to adult protective services for abuse. I have had five intense and complete investigations due to my MIL's claims (proven to be lies after investigations.. oh gee, she'd lie?? I call her "The Patron Saint of All Holy Liars), and all of them proved my MIL has progressive dementia and that not only am I not abusive to her (or anyone), but that I am the standard bearer or the gold standard of in-home care giving and wouldn't it be great if everyone was as good as I am. Yea, why doesn't everyone give up their lives for the demented aims of the demented. So, my MIL is still here. The granddaughter is going to be 4 years old soon. I spend as much time as I can with our granddaughter and make every effort to make the basic care for my MIL but to stay away from her as much as possible. My MIL is worse than she was, but is stable and healthy here. She is quite happy to see her son everyday and she gets on the telephone with her friends and goes on and on about what a horrible woman I am. I don't cry as much, I don't complain as much, and I don't lash out for a life much anymore. I have come to accept that I am worthless and will have to either wait until she finally dies or I get the balls up myself to walk out on my husband and kiss this dream good bye. Because.. this dream is a nightmare. Oh yea, a couple of her friends have come here to rescue her from me. They believed her stories. One even came with her adult daughter my age and a traveling caregiver to help with the transfer to take my MIL with them and out of my evil clutches. When they saw the truth, they were shocked and ashamed. And, they LEFT HER! I would have been thrilled to have had them take her! But, they said they wouldn't be able to give her the care she needs.. BS! They saw what a wicked old crone she was and didn't want her in their lives. We've never heard from them again!! So, two years down the road and my life is as bad, if not worse. She's either not fit or been kicked out of every facility we've tried. I could tell you the graphic accounts, but trust me on this.. you don't want to have to read it. It is hard to find any happiness in life at all. And, I know that she is going to be here until I die. Not her.. me. And, my death is something I look forward to now. Amazing how much life can change in two years..

CaroleOH: Two decades ago I did the same buying a few copies of that book to give to people, since that book gave me encouragement when I was single & lonely (22 years ago). Now I'm happily married with a daughter, I compiled a large Pinterest board on NDE, to prevent suicides & shed meaning to life: https://www.pinterest.com/clonewar/hope-for-the-suicide-near-death-experiences-nde/ Here're some excerpts from my Pinterest collection: " www.nderf.org/... Peter Russell's amphetamines NDE "The Spirit said "it was your fault that you died, because you were not looking after yourself. That is considered a form of suicide, and there is a penalty that must be paid. The Spirit then communicated; "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO HURT YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE ARE THE PERSONAL PROPERTY OF GOD". www.aleroy.com/... NDE No. 106 of a Catholic "My life appears before me in frames moving very fast. Not only do I experience my own life and emotions, but also what others around me are feeling. I experience their thoughts and feelings about me. I see the disappointment I have caused others and I cringe. I understand all the suffering I have caused and I feel it. My whole body begins to tremble. I see my selfishness and my heart breaks, the shame is overwhelming." The learning from NDE is what makes us better people, see excerpts from link below: http://the-formula.org/powerful-life-changing-near-death-experience-quotes/ By NDEr Mohammad Z "Another example of my life review was when I was a 10 years old boy. I had bullied and mercilessly beaten another boy who was also around my age. He felt tortured and deeply hurt. In my life review, I saw that scene again. When this boy went home to his parents, I saw the impact that seeing him in that state had on his parents. I felt the feeling and pain it created in them and how it affected their behavior from that point forward. I saw that as a result of this action, his parents would be always more worried when their son was out of home or if he was a few minutes late. I saw that whenever I had done something good to anyone or anything, that I had done it to myself. And whenever I had hurt someone, I had done it to myself while actually doing that person a favor because they would receive some form of compensation or help from the Universe as a result. This universal gift would be bigger than the damage I had caused to them…” — NDEr Mohammad Z By NDEr— Rene Jorgensen “I was able to look down and see myself, my own body. And then I experienced this light… this love, this joy, this peace… and then I also had what’s called a ‘life review.’ I went through all the episodes of my life where I had basically hurt other people. So I would go through episodes when I would be angry at my mother. I would experience it; I would be on the receiving end of my anger. I would be inside my mother and experience her pain. So I would experience the consequences of my actions. I also went back all the way back to forth grade where I was teasing a small girl. And this is something I had totally forgotten. She was a younger classmate, maybe second or third grade, and I was teasing her. She was against the wall and I was calling her names. But now I was inside her body; I was receiving my own actions .. And not only that, I would also feel the pain of her parents for realizing that their child would become inward, shy, and closed as a person. So I was basically experiencing the full consequences of my actions. So I experienced the full cycle, the chain of my actions… You really understand the consequences of your actions; you really understand what is harmful and what is hurtful to other people.” — Rene Jorgensen / Source http://the-formula.org/powerful-life-changing-near-death-experience-quotes/

Hi, Thanks for asking. Not much has changed, things have escalated a bit more at times. Different triggers, same story. SS continues getting deposits made directly into his bank account several times a month from DH in addition to his wages, but no helping with bills or house or cleaning. He does however go on long fishing/shopping trips and has one of his two girlfriends spend the night here (in the room with him & GS) 3+ nights a week. DH asked me why I had such a bug up my **s about it. I feel it is inappropriate on so many levels. I believe DH enables SS to continue living a life making poor decisions that have effects not only on him but his child and everyone around him. BUT, that is not my cross to carry and I cannot make him stop. Anyway, I am actively looking for a place, with a short term lease 6 months for this reason, I really don't know if our relationship is salvedgable any longer and if it isn't I will not stay in this geographical area. Dh knows I am moving out asap, seems to be ok with it though he did say that the money I spend on rent could be used to fix up our rehab house. I said "Yes, that is true, it could." And continue with my plans. Work has all but stopped on the house as DH is back into his workaholic thing and that is that. No real surpises. I love him, I do but honestly there is no room for me in this marriage. I expect I will end up signing the house over and walking. I don't expect things to get nasty, or least as long as I do everything in my power to not say anything that may remotely make SS uncomfortable in anyway- like "could you do your dishes?" or "I'll need to use my washer and dryer tonight, can you make sure it's availabe?" you know stuff like that. Then things will be ok. I was very ill with flu all week and must say DH was very good about stopping at store for me and getting my medications filled, popsicles, water and the like almost daily. He is a very good caretaker. Too bad there just isn't any way to make our marriage a priority that comes first. But I'm just tired of it all now and have no energy left to fight for it anymore. I think the parting will be peaceful, painful in some ways as I am already so lonely and alone much of the time and grieving the time spent waiting for "someday". Sometimes someday just doesn't happen. It's not a realistic hope anymore and I have to let it go for my own health and peace of mind. ~Cat

Hi guys, thanks for asking! I'm waiting, too. I haven't a clue about the outcome of the test. Usually, if a test looks fine, the technician will at least give me a hint. But this one, who seemed to be in a rather irritated mood even before the test, said, "That's for your doctor to tell you. We're not allowed." So all I know is that I couldn't have done any better with it. During the treadmill part I focused on pleasant, relaxing thoughts to eliminate the possibility of tension skewing the results. (The author Norman Cousins taught me to do this many years ago.) The guy manning the treadmill and EKG readouts (or whatever they were) said, "You did awesome." Now I can only hope my doctor says the same thing. I appreciate you thinking of me! Susan