Just my 2-cents, but I experimented with various combinations of Potting Mix, Bark Fines, Perlite and Turface this past season, and in all of the EarthTainers where I used Turface, the mix stayed too wet, and plant production was poor. Again, my system is a self watering container which has different wicking and moisture retention characteristics as compared with conventional top watered containers, but if you are using a SWC type container, I would definitely avoid the addition of Turface. A 3:2:1 ratio of Potting Mix, Bark Fines, and Perlite produced optimal results in the EarthTainer (and my EarthBoxes) last year. Raybo

Let me speak for the other side! If you have problems communicating with your daughter before a grandchild is born, you will continue to have them after! Just because you see your role in a cut and dried pattern, that doesn't mean your daughter or her husband see it the same way. You said: This is what her previously pregnant friends have done and it has worked out very well for them. I am having a lot of trouble with this, and it seems to be reinforcing some negative issues that are in our relationship: she can be extremely reactive to my feedback . . . So, being "reactive" is nothing new. Do you think at a time when she is experiencing this new role of being a mother herself, she needs the tension that "negative issues" and "reactive to my feedback" would bring? Your role should be to support your daughter and your grandchild as best you can. If this means sucking it up and being in a hotel, while a nurse tell her "how to" instead of being the one - - then do it! This is not the time for the two of you to hash out past issues, it is the time to forge a new respectful relationship. That new relationship must include allowing your daughter to make her own judgement calls regarding her child. Please remember advise is given, but it doesn't have to be taken! Now, I know that I have been a bit harsh. I too had a difficult relationship with my mother. She walked in to "help" with the baby (my first born) to my freshly scrubbed home saying "What can I clean?" I had been up all night getting the house ready, including scrubbing floor on my hands and knees to make it acceptable to her, and I tell you it was spotless. I had a good friend and neighbor come over to "check" and she told me I was going overboard, OCD type of overboard. Still, it wasn't "good enough" for my mom! I had taken care of children and babies since I was 10 years old, but to her I didn't do anything right: I stored the diapers in the wrong place, I bathed the baby in the wrong spot (in a baby tub on the kitchen table, with all my supplies instead of the kitchen sink - as she had done), I breast fed instead of bottle, I had the baby in a bassinet by my bed instead of isolated in the crib on a different floor (in Navy housing - floor plan was poorly laid out). By the second day of her visit I was so nervous, my milk stopped flowing! All I wanted from her was to coo and coddle the baby. Make a fuss over her, be a grandma. For me, well she was a great cook. Having a few home cooked meals prepared while I napped with the baby would have been a godsend. Instead, she wanted to shop, go out to see the sights of the city and invited company (brother, SIL and their two children to visit for 3 days - and nights) after all, she was in the area and not doing anything. Mom is gone now, it was rough but out of 12 grands, only 2 have fond memories of her! To spotlight the reason: my DD went for a visit, just a day after her 7th birthday. No mention of the birthday was made. In a room she would share with cousins who arrived 2 days later were gifts, beautifully wrapped and labeled -- for the cousins -- nothing for DD! Grandma said to me "I'm sure she got lots of nice things for her birthday, I sent her a card, I guess she didn't get it before you came down." DD was heart broken, Grandma had gone on and on about how she never celebrated a birthday with her, and we had made special arrangements to be there (on a very limited budget). On top of that, cousins went on and on about how they were going to a tea shop for a special tea with Grandma THE DAY AFTER WE WENT HOME, JUST THE THREE OF THEM, SPECIAL! So, I caution you to take a look at how you offer your feedback, how you treat your daughter and the new baby. We know that you feel that what you have said in the past is OK and her reaction is poor. But, truly look at it, is it critical? Do you expect your advise to be totally accepted and feel rejected if she modifies or chooses to not follow it, for whatever reason there may be? Foggyj used the term emotional game, but if there is a "game" being played, there has to be more than one player. I wish you luck with your new grand baby and daughter, but please take it easy on her, after all she is new at this role -- just as you were once. Susan

I checked and didn't like the ones I saw there. The gauge wasn't bad, nor was the spring, and they didn't feel flimsy. But the "food end" angled in too sharply, so that you would pinch (and possibly pierce)a piece of chicken rather than grab it. And there was no mechanism to hold them in the closed position for storage. Price was right, at about $4 for 12", didn't see a price on the 16".

I find your apartment luxurious in the layout you now have and I updated your space without major construction, i.e. not moving the dishwasher or changing the downstairs bathroom. Living in NYC, we have welcomed guests and accommodate them as best as we can. Down the road you may want to consider enlarging the master bedroom bathroom to include a bathtub and laundry (!!!). This would enormously increase the resale of your property. I love the hot plates, but a small stove top and convection oven can do everything and more permanent, again increasing the property value. Don't spend the unnecessary expense of moving the sink or dishwasher, just to turn that corner and work with what you have. A decent size counter is a large workspace and dining area. I've had the biggest and best Thanksgivings in a teeny tiny NY kitchen!