You can use a wide mouth quart canning jar. I mailed cookies overseas (Iran) in those and they were fine for weeks. Brownies made the trip well. Sugar cookies also.

Stay in the hotel, you will like it much better. Eat out. Surf for local bakeries. Many hotels have a small kitchenette.

Thanks so much, Sherry Alabama lady.

If a tin is hard to find, just get a suitably sized plastic food storage container. They come in all sizes and will keep cookies fresh for weeks.

You don't need a tin. You can buy a plastic (Rubbermaid type thing) at Walmart or even the supermarket. They seal better than a tin. Put a bow on the top if you want to make it look less utilitarian.

Please don't begrudge or judge your niece for not offering you to stay overnight at her house. There are a myriad of reasons why she might not want to or be able to do this.

The suggested plastic food container would be good. If you have one near, check Michael’s for tins. They often have plain ones, such as white or silver. They also have plastic containers.

I think it was very kind of your niece to offer money for lodging during your stay. I think if you know she can afford it you you should accept. Let her feel good about helping you enjoy your visit. If she didn't appreciate you coming she wouldn't have offered.. Some people simply don't like sharing housing with people other than immediate family. I am one of them. Even if offered, I will get myself a room most times. I also won't share rooms with people I barely know like on a group trip.

Thanks for yor many good thoughts. I recently sent her other gifts. The most important thing is to spend some relaxed and enjoyable time with her. A local bakery is a good idea. I am very low on energy and I we will probably wear masks during the visit around her suite and the environment. I do not want to pick up any virus.

I don’t know when I can do this (winter) — I have a lot here I need to tend to and am bone tired. DH gets tired and it will be a long drive for him, so we’ll make it short or stay over some place. These winter days are short on daylight.

My family has disappointed me lately in some big ways. I have given a lot of myself, often. We are all getting on in age, but they seem very superficial to me.

Id make the crab salad at hime and put it in a wide moth thermos for the trip. Not sure how to toast the hot dog buns. i cant believe the nirsing home wouldnt let you toast the buns in the staff lunch room if they have no other favilities. I mean they must make the residents food somewhere. Make some extra cookies to bribe them.

Five hours of driving plus a visit will be very tiring. I hope you will spend the night and enjoy your sister one last time. You won't regret it.

Because it’s close, I’d be heading to Michaels for cookie tine. Do you have one nearby?

Mom used to ship cookies from FLA to IL in coffee cans. Maybe you have a neighborhood freebie site where you could request one. If we lived close I have a stash of cookie tins and would be happy to give you a few.

Thanks for even more good suggestions. There may be a brnch of that grocery store that sells the good fresh rock crab in our area. I’ll look. And super ideas about the plastic Tupperware like containers and Michael’s.

We’ll have to go in between any snow storms. The other thing is that DH is usually good natured but increasingly obstinate. We have so many things to do here, and he just cannot get it together. I have to do a lot of quasi-supervising, reminding. He has been resistant to moving for 30 plus years, syays okay, but makes zero strides in that direction. I often feel like I have an unmotivated 6 year old. It can be very depressing. It’s verystressful. I hate where we live and it is no longer safe. He seems numb. Tuned out.

I have to do the work of finding him a PCP then try (Hippa dippa) to work w that doc to get a neuropsych like workup on him. Part of it is his personality. But he seems very dense. I don’t sleep well. I have no one and find myself thinking black thoughts. Too often.

I am exhausted. He will not help pick up and clean. No way to hire a cleaner, housekeeper. They would faint. Ive suggested he just drive to a mall and walk for excercise. He did that one time. Everything is a mess and he won’t even get out of my way so that I can clean. I battle fatigue and pain and now a new threat from a hateful narc dealer with police friends has come up in the past few years. DH is so retiring, even about this.

I just woke up (did not sleep well) and already I am in bleak spirits. The sib that is failing was often lashing out at me or just dumb numb. Childhood trauma maybe.

I wish there was not just me. I wish my family had some of my character. Sounds like such a self congratulatory thing to say. And I am far from perfect, but, for the most past I have a lot of strength of character. I extend myself.

I’ll have coffee and get the house warm, then try to make a plan to see sib while shile still might recognize me. I still have to get my driver’s lic renewed and tend to what’s blocking that. It is easy to understand, based on USPS mail nor recognizing our residence, but a court of gov agency sending me a time sensitive document would not be aware of the USPS quirk. DH began to help w that, but he isn’t the most strategic person for helping.

The other issue is being threatened by the drug dealer along with his cozy relationship with local police. I kept telling DH that it is not safe for us here. Block head.

I need to take care of some of these things before I can go off on a visit. I will not enjoy any time staying over in that area, Cold and my own back home situation (under siege) would be like leaving for a vacation while the locks don’t work, or the water was left running.

I hope I feel more optimistic after I warm up, have some breakfast. I am threadbare metaphorically and literally.

@petalique, please call your area Agency on Aging. They can provide you with resources and assistance — and you need both.

Please take care of yourself.

@petalique, I’m sorry for all you’re going through. Your tone recently - in particular with regards to your husband - seemed a little lighter to me so I was hoping things were improving a bit. But on top of everything else, trouble with a drug dealer?!?!

I agree with the above poster, it sounds like you need help. Don’t be too proud to seek it. Just getting by from one day to the next is inaction which will lead nowhere good. Please be safe.

Where we live is similar to a politically tainted fish bowl. Local politics, but mirror to a lot of what you see nationally. With those prevaling sensibilities, I a not confident that I would have any privacy. It might well underscore and broadcast my vulnerability.

DH is a good person, but he can be a block head, have his head up his nose.

I also do not want any enthusiastic do-gooder helping me in a way tht will cost me what freedom I do have. I am not free to go into detail, as I would like to. My obstacles and problems stem from a few issues and directions:

Daily pain that intrudes and has many logistical and social repercussions.

Where we live is quiet, lots of wildlife, many good attributes. People living away from our odd street would think it’s fine. In our odd corner with a few household, there are things going on. The dealer and his predecessor in same building are violent, lawless but with the local law LE as friends. I was assaulted and injured by one of them arranging with others to blindside me. I was hurt (I will try to avoid identifying detail).

When I went for medical help, I was smeared. Only one nurse practitioner (I avoid local medical) heard me, but no notes. no documentation. You’d think DH, who believed me, understood, would quickly help us move. No. Nope. That is abby normal.

Lots more. I do not now feel safe walking up our shrimpy road. Narc guy has accosted me many times and doesn’t like anyone like ME (at a public hearing years back, I opposed his operating an auto body related business. It’s in an environmentall sensitive (H2O) area an no businesses, let alone dirty one allowed. He and the fellow before him do it anyway. There are some ”cultures” within a community that play very dirty, resort to lawless behavior, threats, intimidation. It’s how things work in some places. I do not like the ruling (by fist) culture here. DH is ? unwilling or unable to act. I’ve sometimes wondered if he is ”high functioning _________”?

Over the years friends, family have died or whatever. This area is not and never has been a good cultural suspect he wasn’t given access to this toy as a toddler:match for us. First home, supposed to be temporary. Still here. ask DH does he want me to die here, by assault from _____ lawless of stress or old age? He says no, but will not, cannot act. I can get very low in spirits. Stress and most arguments are over his inaction.

Simply help clean, pick up. Lately I am wondering is that part of his brain that lets people sorts disparate items is kaput. Just clean up 1st floor bathroom, and office so I can review bills. This doesn’t seem to be asking too much of a normal person.

I often suspect he was not given access to this toy as a toddler:

petalique I'm sorry life is so difficult for you right now. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. My DH is bipolar. Hard worker, good father and a good man but some pretty awful speed bumps.

I can relate to a lot of what you've shared. It's hard when you feel like you are the last one standing and have to hold it all togther. The bright side is what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. The dark side is the stronger you are the less others will recognize that maybe you could use some help also at times.

There is nothing worse than dealing with issues where corrupt LEOS are involved. I have been there. People who haven't will dismiss you as being overly dramatic or flat out not believe you. I had a neighborhood problem years ago. The police only made things worse. I was just a pawn to them. Fortunately I recognized it and was able act proactively. The neighbors finally had to move but I had to see my kids go through the trauma of all the drama and lies being spewed at our family. My DD remembers quite a bit. My DS doesn't really recall much as he was younger. The sad thing it was my battle. I was the target. DH saw it too late. He has regrets to this day now that his BP is so well under control.

I truly beleive that the universe does work things out in the end. New roads and doors open as others ones shut down. You just have to be alert to them and choose your path wisely. I experienced a lot of silver lining behind the darkness of those clouds.

Hang in there and never,ever feel selfish putting yourself first.If you aren't OK you can't be there for others. Save yourself first.

Thankyou, wildchild2x2. It means a lot to me.