The first thing to do is destress and relax --- you've more than got this. 20 people is a sizable crew and the distance to travel between sites is a bit complicated.

I would either make your own or buy turkey broth for use in your dressing and gravies, if drippings are scant or not available. It can be made in advance. The flavor is just so different when you use chicken broth.

Mash holds up well but you may need extra liquid to revive it at the other end, when reheated. A scallopped or dauphinoise potato also travels well.

An alternative main for the assigned guest could be a small beef roast or even a pasta dish (yes, non traditional although some households have always added mac and cheese for fussy children).

You can always assign a pie or cake to someone or order one at a competent bakery if you feel overwhelmed. The nice thing also is you can prep a lot of things the day before, like the basis for your dressing/stuffing, and add the final steps before heating the next day.

Sorry, but I don't think the person who has to travel at all should be expected to do the entire meal. Travellers bring one dish, that's all.

First, it's only August, so please hold off on panicking for a couple of months!!

One thing I would consider is turkey roulade. You pound and roll turkey breasts and thighs, stuff and roll. That eliminates having to have a separate dressing/stuffing dish. If you get stuck with doing a 2nd protein, you could treat salmon or beef or pork tenderloin the same way - stuff and roll. They are great cooked ahead and reheated, as long as you don't reheat too hot or too long.

Make ahead mashed potato casserole is the best mashed potato prep I've ever done. Can be made a couple of days ahead and baked, then reheated in oven or microwave https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/13608/make-ahead-mashed-potatoes/

If you have to make stuffing and aren't going to stuff a whole turkey, the crock pot is a great way to cook and reheat stuffing. It comes out moist and no worries about overbaking it. Also easy to heat at home and transport, then plug in to reheat when you arrive. It can hold for a long time.

If no one will do a vegetable and you have to, consider a brussels sprout, broccoli or grean bean salad. All can be made ahead and served cold or room temp. Just add dressing close to serving so it doesn't change the color of the veggies. I found a great broccoli salad made without mayo, which I prefer. No to carrots if you'll serve yams/sweet potatoes - too similar. And for those, again, a crock pot works great for cooking and/or reheating. Surely, there is a great bakery near you or others where you can buy pies? Costco makes amazing pumpkin pies and probably some others. They are huge and serve many.

When we used to have huge Thanksgivings and the Sunday before Christmas at my MIL’s house, she made the turkey and everyone else brought sides and desserts.

wow plllog. I'm with lacey on this. With 20 people coming, it shouldn't be all on you. This is just weird.

The family is too scattered for us all to gather together for Thanksgiving dinner......we only manage a group Christmas every few years. And since no one local wants to be saddled with all the work, food prep AMD hosting, we now have the dinner catered.

A local company will prepare a full, family style Thanksgiving dinner (no appetizers) ready for pick up the day before. It only needs to be reheated. And the portion sizes are generous enough that there are usually leftovers available. The menu and options are excellent!

Makes for an easy and relaxing day and with no onerously heavy burden on anyone.

Our dear plllog is surely being treated unfairly by her family. But she will succeed *spectacularly* and by her effortless superiority, shame the ingrate thrice removed cousins into self-reformation.

We need to think of some flourishes to really drive the point home.

Paper frills for the turkey? An aspic amuse-bouche? A dessert pointedly not buyable at the local bakery?

On how restaurants reheat make ahead mashed potatoes, it seems you can bake and rice potatoes, then en situ reheat and combine with cream and butter, lots and lots of butter, no, more butter than that, and if Aunt Gertrude complains at the unhealthiness then she can do Thanksgiving next year. I found the other thread, here is a useful response:

”Two ways I've seen it done.

Both times it's done with large potatoes, skin on, baked in oven, dry mash is far superior than wet mash because you can get more butter/milk/cream into it.

3 rosette - through a rotary food mill with the smallest ricer attachment. Cool completely, store in vac pack bags. Reheat in waterbath, transfer to pan, warm cream butter up, beat into mash with Maurice. Pulse in robocoupe very slightly. If you do this too much it will just split and ruin it. Into piping bags, left in pass,.

Michelin star. Passed through a drum sieve, cooled, vac packed, Heated up very, very slowly while consistently beating it with the back of a Maurice, then slowly incorporating room temp butter and cream. Piping bag. then left in pass.”

The day before Thanksgiving was a huge pick up day at my gourmet-to-go / cafe business. All the foods can succesfully be made in advance and reheated.

Gravy is easier now that packaged turkey broth is avIlable— - make this a couple days ahead or even freeze it. We always used a splash of Madeira.

Mashed potatoes - add plenty of butter and cream and you can reheat in oven, micro, or stovetop— wherever there’s space.

Veggies - if you are doing all maybe a brussel sprout salad, blanched sauteed green beans with something fun, and for sweet potatoes if your family must or roast for simpler treatment.

Stuffing- everybody improvises. Just punch the flavor and moistness. TG is not the day to stint on butter and cream because it’s all about delicious food!

Dessert - bakery pie does not need to be shameful.

But yes, if you are a traveler, all should be pitching in!

“But she will succeed *spectacularly* and by her effortless superiority, shame the ingrate thrice removed cousins into self-reformation.”

Agree!👍🏻

Mashed potatoes reheat beautifully whether traditional or in casserole form. If it would be any help, this make-ahead gravy recipe’s a good one (and can be made way ahead to freeze).

3 lbs turkey wings
2 medium onions, peeled and quartered
1 cup water
8 cups chicken broth
3/4 cup chopped carrots
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
3/4 cup flour
2 tablespoons butter

Heat oven to 400.
Arrange wings in a single layer in a large roasting pan. Season with s&p.
Scatter onions over top.
Roast 1 1/4 hours until wings are browned.
Put wings and onions in a 5-6 quart pot.
Add water to roasting pan and stir to scrape up any brown bits on the bottom.
Add the brown bits to the pot.
Add 6 cups broth (refrigerate remaining 2 cups) add carrot and thyme.
Bring to a boil.
Reduce heat and simmer uncovered 1 1/2 hours.
Remove wings to cutting board.
Save wing meat for another use or discard.

Strain broth into a 3 quart saucepan, pressing vegetables to extract as much liquid as possible (potato ricer works well).
Discard vegetables.
Skim fat off broth and discard.
(If time permits, refrigerate broth overnight to make fat skimming easier.)
Whisk flour into remaining 2 cups broth until well blended.
Bring broth in saucepan to a gentle boil.
Whisk in flour/broth mixture and boil 3-4 minutes to thicken gravy.
Taste for seasoning, adding salt & pepper if needed. Stir in butter.
Serve or cool and freeze up to 6 months.

ETA - One big plus about Thanksgiving is much can definitely be made ahead.

ROTFLOL!! Thanks, JL, for the laughs! I needed that!

Thank-you all for the responses with just the kind of advice I need!

I'll be back (appointment coming up fast), but while I appreciate the sympathy implied by the ones saying it shouldn't fall on one person, the facts are that someone has to do it or there will be no dinner. Too many of us can't help for various reasons. I didn't mention things I know I can get people to bring, like salads, rolls, fruit, beverages.

Also, for those who are newer to this group, I'm used to cooking sit down for three dozen, mostly on my own, but in my own kitchen and dining room (into the living room, where sometimes the sofa has had to go on the porch), and I'm used to cooking dinner, carrying downstairs and driving half an hour to finish on site for half a dozen or a few more. Twenty is an easy number for me in general, but while I have a big enough cooler, there's no way I'm carrying the cooked turkey down the stairs, and I can't count on having sufficiant (if any!) minions to schlep for me on the day. It's okay about the turkey--sometimes admirers come into the kitchen to gaze at its beauty, but mostly it's carved by the time they see it. I have no qualms about parts. When I did sous vide for Passover, they adored it,

Ack! Gotta run! Keep the advice and recipes coming! I need all the help I can get!

Yes, I remember the Christmas DIL#1 was bringing sides, she insisted. It snowed, which we usually do not get and they showed up 3 hours late with uncooked sides.! Then another year DIL #2 was bringing the green beans and corn the grands likes. She showed up with 2 cans of green beans and two cans of corn unopened in the cans. I had to find burner, pans and butter to finish!

It is easier to just cook, but that was at my house. I have never taken an entire meal to another house.

Identify what you can assign to someone else that they will really bring. My son cooks Boston butts, up to 10-20, and when done wraps in foil and puts in an ice chest. They stay hot for hours!

Take a deep breath and relax. I made holiday dinners for 35 people for years and learned that many things can be made ahead. Gravy reheats nicely and you can do that ahead, get some turkey parts or an extra turkey, make your stock and freeze it now if you want.

Mashed potatoes also reheat nicely, although I've found that the more butter I use, the better the final product. Hmmm, wonder why that is?

As has been said, a turkey will stay hot for hours in a cooler, and I think a turkey breast roulade would too. Wrap well in foil, then in towels or packaging, then into the cooler.

I also agree that you could have a second meat course, we always had both turkey and ham because my Dad got a ham from work and my brother got a turkey. Both were delivered to me so I could cook them "the day of". If your family likes glaze or some kind of sauce, even better. Bake the ham, slice it, make your sauce of choice. Reheat separately and then drizzle the re-heated sauce over the ham to avoid dryness or make enough sauce to warm the ham directly in it.

I can't help you with sous vide anything because I haven't figured out a single way to make anything turn out well, I'm an abject sous vide failure!

My pies always get made the day before. Pumpkin pie is preferred refrigerated in my family, as are various custard pies. Fruit pies are good at room temperature too, so dessert can be a day or two ahead. Chocolate cream? Maple custard? Cheesecake? All good and made ahead. Pie crust can be prepared and frozen weeks before the event and then thawed and used when needed. I do that often just before the holidays so I can grab a pie crust, put it in a pan and make pie last minute.

I know it's heresy, but I usually bake the rolls a day ahead too, or I make the dough, shape the rolls, freeze. Take them out to rise and bake early the day of dinner or the night before.

I know you have time management skills, probably better than mine. I write down my menu, then break it down into sections. Dessert is XXXX and will be made the day before. Rolls are removed from the freezer and baked at XXXXX.

Even if you are bringing everything, be sure to conscript the attendees for help in heating, assembling, serving. Delegate is a beautiful word, LOL. I also think someone else should do all the dishes.

Annie

I never thought of that, annie. Do you think plllog’s family will make her do the dishes too? A rescue mission must be organized.

“Delegate is a beautiful word…”

👍🏻!

Skipping down to comment that a lot of Thanksgiving standbys can be made ahead and frozen, like piecrusts, cranberries, rolls, stuffing, veg casseroles...

I’m about to cry. Partly because my whole message just got zapped, but well before that because of the generosity, kindness and support you all have. Thank-you! And thank-you, thank-you, thank-you for all the advice and recipes and methods. You’re all making this seem possible. Yes, of course, there will be some delegation, but the one who can really cook works long hours and commutes, and is the Christmas cousin, so I don’t know how much time he has. I have the time, though maybe the energy is flagging. He’s the one who hates turkey, however, as well as “cut up” things like casseroles. At my house, I choose a second protein I know he’ll enjoy, because I always do two proteins for holiday, anyway. He can certainly bring the second protein, that he knows he'll enjoy.

This is my first shot at Thanksgiving—my job has been guacamole since I was 14 (the secret is never use fresh salsa—it’s too wet. I buy a jar). I’ve told them how I make it, but they want mine—and enough for leftovers (ick—guacamole is one thing I don’t really like left over). None of them seem to get the hang of it, though. Plus, since the pie cousin got too old, I’ve taken on the pies. They make ahead as some of you have said and travel well, but the fridge space! (It’s too warm here to keep them on the counter.)

Last night I also figured out I could put the Breville smart oven in the car a week ahead of time. The farther site just has a basic range with a single big oven. The countertop oven can be plugged in anywhere, like the spare bedroom, and those bringing hot things can use it, like the warring sweet potato casseroles (I stay out of it). I knew about using coolers as hot boxes, but didn’t realize how long they hold. I have a smallish suitcase sized cooler, with real wheels, which I used to make the sous vide turkey last time. I could just bring them in that, though I’d drain it for travel. It has a bung. They really liked the sous vide turkey last time. I’ve done turkey roulades for Passover before, and they didn’t like them so much. The want a dish of stuffing. They don’t insist one cooked In the bird—the secret to the casserole Is schmaltz—but they want proper stuffing, and making the roulades is a lot more work than the sous vide prep.

Annie the secret to sous vide is to set aside your cookery knowledge, figure out what you want the end product to be like, then research the heck out of it until you have good instructions. I cook the turkey to be oven texture. It’s juicier (mine oven turkeys are always juicy and nice, but sous vide is juicier because there’s nowhere for the juices to go), but it’s the same texture as oven roasted.

JL That beer carrot dill recipe looks great, especially the part about microwaves well to reheat. There is a microwave at both sites, and I even have a spare one in a box if I know it’s needed, though have to make sure at the farther site if there are enough circuits. I’m going to try the carrots soon to get a handle on quantities and reheating.

Olychick, the panic Is because I have two holiday meals, before and after, very little help available on Thanksgiving, including schlepping muscles, and all, and no concept of how to do it except where it’s like the Seder meal. There is so much good in the thread now, that the panic is over and the can-do is sinking in. And thank-you for suggesting the roulades. They are a nice alternative to the roast bird, even though I’m not doing it for the reasons I gave above. I’m looking into how to achieve your suggestions. Thanks for the potato recipe! It’s not really the kind we like (all the stuff in it) but there is a lot in the recipe I can use for guidance, and I’ve saved it for futures, too, because I can think of ways to use it beyond the dish itself.

For all of you who suggested Brussels sprouts, I’m sure the family would love them, but I can’t get them past my nose. I’ve tried holding my nose, literally, and on biting down had to spit them out. I’m super-sensitive to the sulphur smell. Others, like cauliflower don’t retain the sulphur when fully cooked. I don’t mind them on the table, but I’m leaving it up to whoever want to bring them to figure it out. 😊

Re travelling, everyone will be travelling at least an hour, except me If we go with the nearer site, which Is half an hour. The others are far flung, of the longer than that airplane ride variety, and I don’t know how many of them will come. Some do. But at that point, they’ll be hour drivers, too. I really appreciate those who mentioned it for standing up for me, but this Is just the way it is. Rather than over the river and through the woods we made up lyrics about freeways when I was a kid.

Last year, when Thanksgiving Cousin was first starting to have the problems for which she’ll be laid up, I checked into pre-made T-day dinners in her area and they all had abysmal reviews. It’s the people who count, of course, and they’re not T-day gluttons like I see on TV. They’re not demanding, but I know they hate the food at restaurant holidays, there or at home. They don’t even like bought pies. I’d do a taco bar if I didn’t think they’d be way disappointed. They just want a basic, homey, nostalgic Thanksgiving, and I want to make sure they get it. Which is why I so appreciate y’all’s help.

Thanks to all for the make ahead and rewarm tips. I know how to do that for sone things, like quiche, but am learning from you about Thanksgiving dishes!

Chloebud, you’re a lifesaver! Turkey drippings gravy cousin has passed on, and I’m not planning drippings anyway! Your turkey gravy recipe sounds very doable and it freezes! I can do that! I love gravy, but usually do braising juices in a pitcher when I make turkey—but that’s just wrong for Thanksgiving. And it’s gravy. Which lovely umami pan drippings and all is, in the end, all about fat and salt—I couldn’t be averse to using boughten stock for gravy! No one would know.

Annie, I know they’ll eat bakery rolls, so I’m going to let someone bring them. 😉 I make ahead and freeze and no one knows, but I’m just not going there this time. 😊 I do the same kind of lists and schedules as you do. No reason not to do the thinking at the best time for thinking, and use the printouts day of (and days leading up) to not have to think at all, especially with everybody calling, arriving two hours early (they’re welcome but in the way, please go watch TV), etc. Thanks for the confirmation that regular, non-fussy, mash reheats well. With your hint (makes sense!) and Olychicks recipe’s bones, I’m going to do this. Maybe I’ll bring some potato flakes as an amulet to prevent failure, like an umbrella to a parade. I use them in general cooking, so it’s not a loss if the amulet works.

Extra helpings of blessings on you for reminding me about freeze ahead pie crusts. I’d totally forgotten! I can make a board. I roll out between layers of plastic (I learned that from Grainlady and a particularly goopy GF recipe) so it’s easy enough just to stack them, wrap and freeze downstairs. That done, I could just make Mom’s Apple Pie, which with the newfangled apple peeler that is really fast and takes very little flesh, is dead easy, and I have a cooked pumpkin in the freezer that can be a custard style pumpkin pie, pretty easily. I have three pie safes, but two pies should be plenty. I could definitely do this! Because they really don’t like bought pies (neither do I), and pie really is my job.

Thank-you for the beautiful word, too. Herding cats, more like, but I do promise to let as many people who say, “what can I bring?” or “How can I help?” do just that! Hm… I could also make a list of passable jobs… Starting with the green beans. You don't need to be a great cook to make green beans. :)

I can do this!

One of my sisters showed up at the other sister's house with a pumpkin! To make pumpkin pie! I sent her some pumpkin seeds the next year, so she would be ready for the following year!

ROTFL!!

I do make pumpkin pie from fresh pumpkin, but there's a time and a place.... ;)

Well, I guess it's something. :-)

Mostly people arrive at my house with appetites and unannounced guests, but they are pretty good at pitching in when asked or specifically directed.

Annie

“One of my sisters showed up at the other sister's house with a pumpkin! To make pumpkin pie!”

I know someone who did something similar when asked to bring a dessert. She showed up with apples for apple pie.🙄😵‍💫

First of all, it is never too early to talk about a holiday.

Second, I completely relate, both to your burden and the anxiety you feel knowing that if you do not do it, it wont get done. And the desire to avoid that, because you want everyone to have a good holiday.

Most things can be made in the days before and reheated on site. That is what I do, as I do most of the holiday cooking but refuse to host. My biggest anxiety is transporting it, and the fear of taking a turn too sharply and sending the mac and cheese flying all over the back of my car. I usually make and deliver all my contributions to the host house the day or 2 before, leaving them to reheat it themselves. For 2 reasons, one I am usually working and can't partake, or 2, because I am NOT working and me and SO want to have the meal by ourselves at home.

I do typically demand SOME assistance. In the case of Thanksgiving, whoever is hosting will have to either provide or ask someone else to provide the desserts. I am not doing it. I am making the turkey, all the sides, the yummy finger foods, the dips.......nah I am not making a dessert. Although things like pies and cakes can be made ahead and travel well, just on principle I am not gonna do it. SOMEONE else needs to do SOMETHING besides show up and eat.

I just now saw THIS. I'd be planning table decorations. 🎃I was just @ Dollar Tree...they have SUPER cute ceramic pumpkins. Hand soap dispensers shaped like metallic pumpkins, filled with pumpkin spiced soap(sold seperately). For $1.50ea. I'd grab a few ceramic pumpkins...maybe 6....to put around....lamp tables...coffee table....just cuteness. I usually have after dinner mints in a bowl....they're just pretty. Just a thought....now you have dinner AND dessert planned. 🦃 Candle wreaths...pillar candles...taper candles....

Wait, will plllog be required to decorate the table as well as provide all the food? Life can surely not be so unjust.

Nope! I appreciate Nicole's enthusiasm. I felt that way when this week's farm listing came out and I ordered pumpkins. To cook! But they make the house all Autumnal. I got a Cinderella, a FairyTale, a Jack-o-lantern, but decorwise some minis and gourds. They'll look nice on the Sukkot table too, if they haven't been cooked yet—though I'm sure I can buy more.

But I'm not decorating for Thanksgiving! I might invest in holiday paper napkins. Might. But I have beaucoup white cocktail napkins, at the nearer site, so probably not.