I would ask to speak to each manager in person. Or, I'd send them friendly signed notes. With my phone number and address on them.

If I wanted to continue to eat there and these things bothered me. Neither would bother me. I imagine people could be touching the glasses when they come out of the dishwasher.As long as it's not one of the cooks handling raw chicken, I have to assume there is some level of cleanliness to people serving food. I do think that's why some people order straws with their drinks, which I've never done and was surprised to learn it was a thing. Same with the silverware. It just wouldn't bother me to see clean taken from the table and returned to the clean pile. I don't think I recall having a fork removed, just full place settings if I'm sitting at a table for 4 and there are only 3 of us, for example.

I do sometimes think if we knew all that goes on in food prep and production we'd never eat anywhere or anything we hadn't prepared ourselves. But even the ingredients can be mishandled before they reach us.

I never worry at potlucks either. I figure all those people have kept their families alive eating the food they bring...unless it's something sitting out on a hot day that shouldn't be, I figure it's not going to kill me.

" I have to assume there is some level of cleanliness to people serving food. "

I'd say that's a baseless and even foolish assumption.

In all but the most upscale of restaurants, food servers often clear dirty plates and glasses.. They pick up dirty utensils and napkins. All of which often have other people's oral or nasal fluids on them. Some servers often even touch their faces and mouths. Their hands are dirty, not clean.

Putting dirty utensils in with clean ones is also just plain old dumb.

If I see poor habits, I don't "worry" about it but depending on my mood or time availablity when it happens, I'll either say something or just not return. Or both. My business is earned by their performance which includes a lot of different things. I don't need to go anywhere "habitually", there are always plenty of alternatives.

I forgot another thing I wanted to reply to:

"I do sometimes think if we knew all that goes on in food prep and production we'd never eat anywhere"

That's what Health Department surprise visits are for and why the reports of same in most areas are available online. It's funny, one can usually discern when a restaurant is professionally run from what's visible in their practices and conduct in the dining room. And when they're not. Inspection histories are usually consistent with what one would expect from what can be easily observed while being a customer.

Honestly...I see ALL kinds of things that don't set right at places I frequent. My husband tells me, YOU can't train these people. ie: I went to the desk at the gym I like, asked if they have a suggestion box, they don't. I've NEVER seen a suggestion box at the restaurants I frequent either. Kind of says something....doesn't it?

Since you frequent these places and this is not a once episode you witnessed I am not understanding why you wouldn't. They are easy to fix. No one will get fired. How is it not worth your time?

Having worked as a waitress in my youth, at the local country club and at a long existing coastal inn in New England, I was taught from the start that any silverware on a table (used or not used) was to be assumed to be "dirty" and treated as such.

Nowadays, when I am at any restaurant, when I am finished eating, I place any and all silver on my dirty plate so the unused ones will not go back into the clean ones.

And yes, I would be likely to speak to the manager.

I have never had just a fork removed. Like Oly, entire settings or wine glasses are taken back after we have ordered.

You can say something but I doubt it will help.

I have spoken up few times.

I used to frequent a gourmet take-out that had breads and various items on top of the high glass counter. People are talking over this food to give their order! I complained and they put plastic wrap over it.

Another time I was in a high end new chocolate shop at a mall. The same person who took out the candy, with rubber gloves, kept on same gloves to go to the cash register! I called and spoke to the manager.She of course expressed surorise. She offered me complementary chocolates but I told her no. I prefer to never get comped because I feel

what I say weighs more. There are people unfortunately who try to get one over.

Yes, I too hate the fingers on the rim. Also don't like someone pulling the string on my tea bag and touching the bag.

Best not to think of all things. For the most part, we are resilient. If not we would all be sick or hospitized weekly!

I don't think I recall having a fork removed, just full place settings if I'm sitting at a table for 4 and there are only 3 of us, for example.

Yeah, it’s apparently a “thing” there. One time a server came running over a little later in the meal and whispered, “I forgot to take your forks,” as if she was afraid of being reprimanded for that. 🤷‍♀️ I don’t care what happens to the extra settings as no one was sitting there. It’s just the forks, after we’ve been there a while, that bothers me.

I've NEVER seen a suggestion box at the restaurants I frequent either. Kind of says something....doesn't it?

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a suggestion box anywhere. When I say decades, I mean many decades. I doubt they were ever used seriously to any measurable extent. So no, to me that doesn’t say anything. 🙂

I would certainly suggest to the manager that instead of removing the extra unneeded forks, that they instead bring the utensils needed for appetizers out with the food/apps when ordered or served.

FOAS there is always risk, but good practices help minimize it (I thought of Typhoid Mary after reading your post). I think a friendly unsigned note to the manager is a good idea. The cup palmer may be one of the % of restaurant staff who do not wash hands, especially after using the restroom. If the manager is unaware, I think your suggestions will be accepted gratefully. If he/she is aware and doesn't care, and you continue to see the same behavior even after your note, then it is your choice as to whether you want to continue to be a customer at those places.

FOAS....on the back of EVERY Taco Bell receipt....they ask for your opinion of the service that was given. On the back of EVERY McDonalds receipt they ask for YOUR opinion of the service that was given. At the Mexican restaurant I LOVE and adore....they ask how everything is, if there's anything else they can get for you....here's YOUR opportunity to "SAY SOMETHING". They just asked you....speak up!

Decades...and you've never seen a suggestion box....THIS is THE SUGGESTION box. Places that NEED a suggestion box....don't have one. That was my point...Taco Bell & McDonalds have "secret shoppers". Unannounced inspections.

Foas, serving drinks overhand like that is literally my biggest pet peeve in life -- it makes me absolutely crazy. When I was a young server, we were always taught, of glassware -- the bottom is your half, the top is the customer's half.

The golf club that I frequent has been particularly bad at this and I had spoken to a few managers about it, and the response always made me feel as though they thought I was way overthinking it. During the height of Covid, when all you could do was play golf and be outside, I would watch a server clear one table.....and you know how a group of dirty glasses is picked up, with all of your fingers inside and grouped together......disappear into the kitchen and then come out with someone else's bar order, serving the glasses overhand with those same fingers that were just inside of someone else's used glass. Blech!!! As a former server, I am quite sure she didn't stop to wash her hands first.

Anyway, our latest F/B manager seems to get it. Just this week, we had a new server and as she brought the drinks, I watched her gravitate towards the top of the glass, only to quickly (in time) correct herself and grab the middle of the glass. I felt so proud!!!! : )

@nicole - Obviously I don’t look at my receipts! I was picturing a decorated box on a counter somewhere.

Costco has an old school suggestion box. I used it once when the new coffe packaging no longer worked with the coffee grinders. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut because the new Costcos don’t have the coffee beans grinders anymore. Such a bummer since a new Costco just opened near me. I now have to travel to the old one as I go thru a lot of coffee with cold brew.

Maybe I will a write them a suggestion to source us a high quality bean grinder that can do 2 or more pounds without overheating. 🤷‍♀️

I honestly had never noticed a hand palmer delivering my glass. Thanks FOAS 😂

Most restaurants/businesses have feedback/suggestion boxes on their website.

A former neighbor was the second generation owner of an extermination service used by many of the finest restaurants in Chicago. He saw a LOT of kitchens and staff areas. He'd only eat at a very few places. It would be interesting if restaurant critics judged this aspect along with cuisine and 'ambiance'.

Life is messy, yet we mostly survive!

FOAS -- Management should appreciate the opportunity to improve. No one -- especially waitstaff -- should touch the tops of glasses, not even when clearing. Bad habit.

Yes, I would of mentioned the first time either happened. Would not bother me if they knew who I was, because the SECOND time either occured, I would never eat there again. However, we have more restaurants than you could eat at if you only went everyday, once a year for at least five years, or possibly even longer.

Why don't you nicely say something to the palmer? I used to waitress in my younger years and when I was just starting out I did something with glassware that might have been like what you described -- I can't remember exactly what it was since it was so long ago, but I do remember a customer very nicely correcting my bad form, framing it around being a teaching moment from an older person to a younger one. I didn't know what I was doing was wrong until someone pointed it out to me, and yes the problem was corrected from that point on.

porkchop, I think you were gracious to accept the feedback from a customer, and no doubt it was well intentioned, but can you imagine if every customer took it upon themselves to critique a server's actions.....the poor person could have 100 "bosses" a night, some well intentioned, some otherwise. For that reason, I think it's probably best addressed with the manager.

I've never noticed anyone palming my beverage glass but would speak up if I did. I see no reason to keep it anonymous if worded in a friendly but matter of fact manner.

OT - but we really don't eat buffet other than at family parties. There is one local caterer whose food we do eat and its usually easy to see if she or her staff are in the venue kitchen.

We're going to a celebration of life tomorrow afternoon. There was a note with the notice that read 'share if you'd like' so I'm assuming that means pot luck. We'll eat later and won't be taking a plate of room temperature food. I may take a chilled salad but will provide the second ice bowl in which to sit the salad bowl - something we do even at family buffets.

This isn't really related but when I pick up the food I ordered at Panera , if they get the side wrong(apple, chips, baguette), I tell them standing two feet away and they always say " Here's what you want, but keep the other." I never was close enough to breathe on it, but I like the policy.

Board of Health rulings are that if food leaves the kitchen and go to a customer or table it is contaminated and must be disposed of.

“Board of Health rulings are that if food leaves the kitchen and go to a customer or table it is contaminated and must be disposed of.”

Are we to eat in the kitchen? 😉

porkchop - If the server were a younger kid I’d likely ”correct” them. but this a (quite) senior citizen who for all I know has been serving since the restaurant opened 100 years ago. I don’t have the heart, and she might be more apt to change her well-ingrained ways if it came from management, should they choose to act on my feedback.

Giving this some thought along with reading some comments, I’m realizing there’s no reasob not to deal with the fork issue in person. Next time we go.

RNMom, a friend of mine left a major chain grocery right before a holiday one year with her special order fresh organic turkey. When she got home, she realized not only was it not the size she'd ordered, but it also had someone else's name on it. She drove back to the store and they found her correct turkey, put it in her cart telling her no charge and to keep the first, She had left the store with it for less than 1/2 hour but they said it couldn't be sold again.

She was so upset, thought she might donate to our food bank and did that..

No conscientious restaurant owner or manager wants anything going on in or concerning their restaurant that would displease patrons or damage the place's reputation. I put negative health inspections at the top of that list too. If there's an issue they should know about, you're doing them a favor by telling them rather than keeping it to yourself.

Here's a leading indicator I use. I only visit a restaurant's restroom when I need to use it. When I encounter a dirty one, and some can be really disgusting and in need of thorough cleaning, that becomes my last visit to that restaurant. A thorough cleaning of any such facility can be done in 10 minutes or less and if they can't prioritize that the task be done at least daily and checked during the course of the day if needed, what does that say about the place?

If a restaurant cares so little about the cleanliness of a facility customers always visit, how much in need of cleaning and proper maintenance might the rest of the place be, kitchen included? I don't want to know.

I’d like to say I’d say something but the reality is I probably wouldn’t. I can overlook the first time, hoping it’s an anomaly, but, after that, if it happens a second time, I’m looking to go elsewhere. I may stay away for a few months and try it later if I’d really liked it.

I would definitely say something to management. For all you know, potential repeat customers have also seen these practices and been turned off sufficiently to never return.

Like @lettersatoz, when I was a young server I was taught to only touch the bottom section of a customer's glass. I still never touch the top part of any glass, not even my own. If I saw a server palming the top of my glass, I would refuse it- you never know what a person's hand hygiene is.

And I think @Olychick's suggestion (which I think you should pass on the the manager of the establishment) is to only provide flatware when it is needed for a particular course, if they want to avoid washing all of the flatware, used or unused, from a vacated table.

I agree with others when it comes to habits regarding the glasses and utensils.

Last summer we were dining outside at a restaurant that welcomes dogs. Frequently the servers would come outside, spy a dog, and rush over to “love” the dog by hugging it, fluffing its fur, etc. Unless those servers had a change of clothes and the time and inclination to wash their hands, arms, etc. it seems to me that dog hair, and slobbery mouth germs were going to get transferred to other costumers’ food.

We grew up with dogs and love dogs, but we never considered taking them to restaurants.I want to add that I wrote a note to the restaurant owner and never went back again.

"...this a (quite) senior citizen who for all I know has been serving since the restaurant opened 100 years ago."

It's entirely possible she can't grasp the glasses any other way if she has arthritic hands. I'd let this one go under the circumstances. If you're that concerned about it, wipe the rims with your napkin or use a straw.