I think if you have the lights above the mirrors, that centered above them and should be smaller than the mirrors. Pointing up or down seems to be no wrong or right, simply a matter of personal preference. I think sometimes it depends on the light itself, some look better pointing up aand some look better pointing down. ( I have in my master bath two 3 light vanity lights pointing up above my mirrors, In my hall bath, I have a 3 light one pointing down. I like them both.I guess I was no help other than to say the light should be less wide than the mirrors.

We were definitely in the "use fixtures" camp. Our island is relatively huge, so the scale lent itself to larger fixtures. We have gazillions of recessed cans in the kitchen (actually, 12), but as the lighting folks point out, cans are not optimal general lighting, as they provide only down-lighting. The advantage of fixtures is that you get true diffused down- and up-lighting. So they function both as general lighting as well as task lighting for working on the island. Plus, we think they look pretty cool. The issue of line of sight is important, but if the fixtures are at the proper height that problem can be avoided. Similar to erikanh, our fixtures are not just cutesy little pendants, so they can be hung higher without looking goofy. Our ceilings are not that high (9 ft) but our fixtures are way above the line of sight. I think fixtures help anchor the island visually, making it look more an integral part of the room and less a piece of movable furniture.

Our recommendation for pendant sizes is to take the width of your island and subtract 12, thus giving you a maximum size for pendants. 36-12=24, so you could easily go with the 20" size ones. The trend lately is towards larger pendants, especially those with an "open" lantern style like what you describe. I hope this helps, but if you have any other questions, please let me know!

I would not be concerned. I'm about 180 pounds and have stood on my counters many times. If you are really paranoid, put down a piece of plywood (with a blanket under it to prevent scratches) which will distribute the weight. But, realistically, this is totally unnecessary. Your husband, in his stocking feet, would be applying a pressure of a couple of pounds per square inch to the surface, which is nothing. Think about this: Would you be concerned with pressing down on the surface as hard as you can with your thumb? That's much more pressure per square inch than your husband would cause standing on the surface.