I'm with you, that would definately make my cranky. I've been known to "stare" at the kid/people with an Ipad or on a cell phone in a restaurant, planes etc. where I can HEAR whatever they are watching! Drives me crazy. In theatres, the light from cell phones distract me from the movie screen.

I have a friend that will try to show me videos in a restaurant where the volume is not turned way down-I just have to tell her, it's rude to those around us. What is it with people??

We attended a smaller celtic/folk live music concert last weekend. There was a couple our age and a 40ish woman who I assumed was their daughter. The "mom" switched places with her husband to sit next to the woman and they then talked and laughed continually for the remainder of the performance.

As someone who doesn't drink, I also am aware of what I call "the wedding effect" where the energy level surges with the alcohol being consumed.

Other than not having any expectations so as to avoid annoyance, I don't have any remedy.

I think people are so used to being "entertained" and multi-tasking that they can't sit still. How many have you seen a person watching tv and on their phone at the same time? Taking a walk and on their phone? Seems like some people need a course in mindfulness.

I don't go to a lot of events like this, but I am extremely selective about where I purchase seats, and if I can't get seats in a particular position, usually on an aisle, usually in spot where there is not someone immediately in front of me (or sometimes with an aisle behind me...I don't go.

I don't expect people to necessarily be quiet at certain types of events.

But I have found that lots of people don't really know how to behave like they and the people they are with are not the only people in the room. I have to attend a lot of continuing education and at least half of it has to be "in person". One of the professional organizations I belong to is very large and there may be 1000 people at a general session. I have regularly been seated near people who talk non-stop in regular conversational tones for the entire two hours of the session.

I hope this isn't off-topic - for awhile I've been wondering about if late night talk/comedy shows have really influenced communal behavior. The hosts, even those I enjoyed, seem to me to have participated/pushed/normalized mockery, no boundaries/conspiracy laden topics and even the inability to express a thought without swearing. I was thinking about this because I read that one host had incorporated a supposed Prince William marital affair in his monologue - I'm guessing so we could snicker at British name pronunciations? But it struck me how often we see nastiness modeled at us as entertainment. I'm not even addressing political talk shows/podcasts/radio - just the modeling for how we talk to each other.

“It makes me question if I really want to attend public events any more.”

Me, too.

Besides the nightmare that is Ticketmaster, DH and I are more and more not enjoying music concerts (classic rock bands) due to the escalating rudeness and cluelessness of people.

We splurge on very good seats to see bands we love — 9 times out of 10, people who bought much cheaper seats will migrate to the front and block our views. At some venues, staff will make them go back to their seats; many venues don’t care or are understaffed.

Drunks. Obnoxious drunks.

Cellphones. Even with good seats (I always try to get aisle seats in the first few rows), the sea of cellphones being held up blocks our view. It’s infuriating. Peter Frampton gets very upset by it — both times we’ve seen him, he tells people to put them up.

Cellphones Part II … people not even really watching the concert. They turn around in front of their seats to get the performers in selfie pics and video behind them, while narrating. I won’t say what I’d like to do with their phones. It’s so annoying and distracting having the people in front of us, facing us.

I asked DH: are we just getting older and grumpier? He said no, this behavior would be annoying at any age!

I attended the Texxas Jam in 1987 (Boston and Aerosmith!) as a teen and even as huge and rowdy and hot and tired the crowd was, no one acted the fool like nowadays.

Whew! I have some feels about this. :D

I agree on the importance of seat selection. The university venue does not have a center aisle, and I think I counted 40 seats across. I wouldn’t take a free ticket for anything in seats 6 to 35, I would feel trapped.

My husband commented how refreshing it was that none of last night’s humor relied on curse words or crudeness.

Once at a sporting event, two big guys approached our row. They seemed a bit tipsy so I thought oh no. The jumbotron (or whatever they call the big screens in a venue) was showing a clip from the movie Jaws (I think it tied into the visiting team name). Big Guy #1 said loudly “I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat.” It was funny. but most importantly, it was the only loud thing he said. He wasn’t rude or too drunk afterall. (Sidebar: it was ice hockey and in addition to how ridiculously cold it was, I really hated the way people loved the fighting. I went once to ”be a good sport” but never again.)

I am getting older and grumpier but people are also getting ruder.

Remember the Bob Hope specials? Back in the early ‘80s, he was filming one at my alma mater, and they invited alums and other guests to come, to ”put butts in seats”. Well, yiu remember how he’s all about the quick joke, and when you watch the specials they were a bit disjointed. He would do the same joke a couple of times, or start it, stop stop, and start over. After an hour or so, people started leaving. I mean, I get it, it was no lnger entertaining, people may have had babysitters to get home to, but I still thought it was rude. My roommate and I stayed for two hours and finally left, I don’t think we saw how it ended. I imagine it just, well, stopped.

Screens in shows! At the kids’ concerts, I hated when people used their cell phones, or earlier the videocameras that have a screen. The light disturbed everyone behind. Yeah, I video’d, but I didn’t use the screen. Best was when an 8th grader filmed it, he was in the media club and filmed on a tripod from the back aisle, and you could get a copy from him.

Oh yeah we try to buy aisle seats when possible, but then you do have people climbing over you. So either you are the mover or the climber. Just have to deal with it. Now Tickemaster/LiveNation charge more for aisle seats. We go to enough shows where we know exactly where we do and do not want to sit.

The other thing is at the Fillmore club we buy premium seating in the VIP area. There are also VIP standees but last couple shows we get people who stand right behind our table which is prettty annoying. We’ve even had people try to put their drinks on our table. One recent show I was having an outpatient procedure the next day so I was sitting there with a mask on, hoping some of these people would move once they saw the mask. I really prefer people not breathing directly on me. Nope! Part of this is also the way the VIP is marketed in that people do not understand the various standing/seating options or that there is a venue VIP that is separate from an artist VIP package that might include merchandise or a meet and greet. Everything is an upcharge, of course.

I hear ya - so annoying and it happens all the time. If people are talking to the point it's disruptive or shining a bright phone I give them an evil glare and if that doesn't work I ask them to stop the behavior which they usually do. The up and down, up and down - harder to put a stop to that.

We now have an "all about me" culture with many people completely inconsiderate of others. Maybe this is in part caused by social media - me and every detail about where I am and what I'm doing and the ridiculous concept of selfies to show your five or hundred "friends". And perhaps parents doing everything possible to prevent their kids from experiencing any disappointment or difficulty resulting from not having things go their way.

I just saw a $10 up charge for an aisle seat for a show I’m considering in June. I don’t recall paying more at the above shows but maybe I did. My husband is 6’4” so I like an aisle to give him a little more room, or the illusion of a little more room.

For the June show, tickets at $96.25 have an additional $27.64 in fees, while the tickets at $196.25 have $48.39 in additional fees. Why do they have to pay more in fees? I’m not interested in the high priced tickets but I’m curious about the increased fees.

I thought the fees are calculated as a percentage of the ticket price? Which would explain the difference.

eta: I feel a service fee should be a set amount. Taxes can be by percentage

I won't say I'm old and grumpy, but I am more particular about where I go for entertainment. In terms of concerts, I'm almost down to one festitval per year because its VIP section allows for some flexible personal space.

I have a casual friend who's the one who pushes her way to the front at concerts. It's cringey. She asked me to get tickets with her for a concert this summer, and I'm pausing.

Oh, and once I was on a date at the opera. My date whispered to me about halfway through the first half that his head was cool due to air blowing from a vent above/behind us. At intermission, he asked an usher to turn off the vent. At an opera full of 1000s of patrons, not to mention the performers on stage. Just because he was uncomfortable (and he had a hat on his person, too!). It was indicative of his personality, and needless to say, I broke it off soon after.

We go to many performances locally and within a 30 minute drive that are all small venues and the audience is mostly people we know. Nobody misbehaves in the way you are describing.…. somebody would tell their Mama.

The arena event was in Savannah, not enough mamas in the audience I guess. 🫤

They no longer are having concerts, but there used to be a fabulous venue in Seattle, on the waterfront, on an empty pier. The performers had the water to their backs, which was west. The sun would set (in the Summer the sun sets very late here) behind them, or if it was a later concert the moon would rise over them. Magical. Seats weren't reserved, so you had to get there early for the best seats, but no seats were really bad. It used to annoy me so much that people would stand ON their seats, which completely blocked the views of those behind them, so THEY would get on their seats, too. If you didn't want to stand on your seat (this usually just happened at the end of the concerts), you couldn't see. One time, the people in front of us got up on their seats, so I was going to tap the woman in front of me to ask her to step down, but I accidentally tapped her too hard and pushed her off her chair. oops!

That sort of behavior would annoy me, too, and I do consider it unacceptable in many places (not sports venues though. I would expect it there). We rarely go to concerts other than at the Kennedy Center, Wolf Trap, the Birchmere, or the occasional movie and so far, we have not encountered a problem at any of those. Hope it stays that way.

One time i went to a Paul Simon concert. A guy in the row behind us was singing along with Paul until my entire row, almost as one, turned around and told him to shut up.

In my wildest dreams I cannot imagine taking a kid to a concert or show and sitting them down with an ipad. Ive seen that happen in casual restaurants and it makes me do in internal eye roll although id rather have kids hypnotized by a screen than running around and yelling.

The Ipad in the theater did make me cranky. Not only were they visually disruptive to those around them, they are teaching the kid that it is normal and acceptable behavior.

The arena stuff didn’t actually annoy me (luckily no one left our row), I just don’t understand it. Why pay money to experience something and then not pay attention?

I don’t attend shows at the local casino any more because the venue isn’t very good, but more because of the arena type behavior. At the casino, I think many people/gamblers get free comped tickets. That seems to make them even less invested in the show. A guy behind us took a phone call, said yeah I can talk, his side of converstion was about a wrestling tournie being held elsewhere, and then he finally said I’m at a show, I should go.

I attend comedy shows, I want to hear the story, the set up, and the punch line. I might miss some of that if some idiot behind me is chatting about non-life threatening things. The casino shows did make me cranky enough that I haven’t been back there in years.

This topic makes my blood boil. How one person’s behavior negatively impacts others.

We used to have a second home on a lake. Everyone was quiet and resoectful until….new people bought and things changed drastically. They were loud, not respectful and not respectful of our boundaries. We wound up selling our house to them ( at a very high profit) ! They knocked it down for the yard space.

Why go to a concert if you don’t plan on watching it?

“ Not only were they visually disruptive to those around them, they are teaching the kid that it is normal and acceptable behavior”

Is there a chance the child is on the spectrum? That was my first thought when I read your OP. If so, I would think less harshly towards the parents. Maybe they could have left him with a sitter, but they might have had a situation where it wasn’t possible that evening.

maddielee,

In an attempt to give the benefit of the doubt, I assume all kids are somewhere on the spectrum and are doing their best. Since they handed her the ipad as soon as the show began, it seems they were not expecting her to pay attention to the show. So I wondered why did they pay $45 for a ticket for her? As far as I could tell, from my non-parent, sitting behind them, not knowiing them perspective, why bring the kid that does not appear at all interested? Why allow them to be visually disruptive to others? Why couldn’t the kid stay home? If she needed to cuddle and be covered by a coat, was it past her bedtime? Why take her out for an evening event if that’s late in her day? What was the kid learning by sitting there? Maybe if they could explain the situation from their view I’d have a better understanding. But all I had was a glaring, thankfully silent, ipad shining and distracting me from what I was there to enjoy. There are plenty of kid-centric and even sensory sensitive events for kids. This was not one of them.

Skipped down to note that perhaps they couldn't find a babysitter - or maybe one cancelled at the last moment?

Perhaps the kid was on the autism spectrum - for many parents dealing with that, anything that keeps their child calm is on the table, and iPads are a lifesaver for so many.

The high screen brightness is something so many folks never seem to think of - and then they wonder why their battery runs out so quickly 🙄

Going back to read...

P.S. I now see maddielee had the same thoughts I did 🙂

P.P.S. I stopped being enthusiastic about live performance/ public events even before the pandemic made it so dicey. It just never seems worth the expense - money, time and energy-wise - to me any more.

What makes me cranky is when folks keep the boop sound for their keystrokes.

I couldn’t agree more with what you all are saying. And Jilly, I could have written what you write as it captures several things that drive me crazy about concert behavior.

At the last big outdoor concert we attended, several people from the cheap seats came down to vacant seats in front of us for the lead-in acts, stood, danced, and held up their phones for photos for over 30 minutes. They changed seats as people arrived and told them they had their seats, and finally security ushered them out of the area. And the drunks must have gone in and out at least a dozen times past us in our aisle seats. Until they started passing their doobs. Guess I should have known.

Another thing that mostly younger people seem to do at some of the Broadway touring series shows is ’WhooHoo’ wildly after every.dang.song. Most of us season ticket holders just roll our eyes at the poor etiquette.

You are not old or cranky. I also don't understand why someone would go to a concert, only to talk the entire time. DH and I, along with my sister, flew to Vegas for two concerts. Our main reason for going was to see the Eagles - the first night of their Hotel California tour in 2019. There was a young couple (mid-20s) that talked for the first hour. At first I thought they would eventually stop. Nope. My sister and I finally started taking turns turning around and looking at them for a second. They left about halfway through.

The first night we were there we got tickets to see Aerosmith, but Steven Tyler canceled due to "laryngitis" minutes before the doors opened. :-/ At least we had not flown to Vegas just to see them.

What is with all the last second "get to our seats" people that are coming in as she show begins?!

IME, the use of substances often leads to such oblivious behavior...

I went to a performance last night that was two hours long, plus a 15 minute intermission. People were only allowed to enter at certain points during the show, but those intervals were about 5 minutes apart.

There were literallydozens of people in our section who were over one-half hour late and came in during the performance. And people had to stand up to let people pass and then they had to slowly get coats off and slowly arrange themselves and so on.

The last person in our row was seated a solid hour after the performance started.

I really don't understand the point of paying for tickets to see something and then missing almost half of it.

And the problem in our current climate is that you can't really do anything about it because the people who behave this way don't think they are doing anything wrong at all, it's nobody's business how they behave except their own, and they can behave however they want.

I don't go to the movies here at all anymore--actually there aren't any in my immediate area, now. Years ago (and granted the theaters drew from bad neighborhoods) I knew someone (I was not there) who complained to management about a person who was talking loudly during the movie, and someone tackled the woman just as she was about to stab the person who complained with a knife. And there was a shooting in the same theater over a similar incident. And I think things have only gotten worse with people's behaviors.

I was also on a train where they had to call the police to remove someone who was talking on their cell phone on the quiet car. All the conductors said was that she had to move to another car. She refused and was screaming and yelling about being "Disrespected" and nobody was going to tell her what to do, and she needed to be restrained by the police. I was also on a local train where hundreds of people had to get off the train, and the police came, because of one passenger.

And of course we see how people behave on airplanes all the time.

Oh good heavens. I think we need an antidote thread to this one, filled with uplifting stories. I need something light-hearted to counteract the above stories.

I remember when movie theaters stopped having ushers and noisy people became very annoying - that was decades ago now. People making lots of noise with their snacks at shows has always made me very cranky.

Nowadays, employees risk being assaulted or worse for telling a customer to behave themselves ☹️

Two experiences from a recent trip make me question what is happening to our society.

1. DH and were flying Southwest from Chicago to LA. Southwest has open seating and boards by row numbers determined by when you checked in. We always pay extra for early bird check in so that we are in the A row to board. Being able to get aisle seats is easily worth the extra money to us. After most people had boarded, two young people straggled on. The young woman walks past me then turns back and points to DH who is sitting on the aisle across from me. "Is that your husband?" she asks. I ask why she wants to know. She said she assumed we were together because we were wearing masks (??). Her boyfriend had taken the middle seat next to my husband. She then asked if either DH or I would switch seats so that she and her boyfriend could sit together. I said "sorry, but we prefer aisle seats." She got very upset and said loudly "Well that's real friendly of you". I ignored her comment. She continued to stand there huffing. I pointed to empty seat next to me and asked her if she wanted that. "Well I guess I don't have any choice do I?" she snapped back. She and her giant fur coat sat down, pulled down the tray table and proceded to sleep the entire flight (thank goodness). Her boyfriend did the same. What kind of entitlement is that??

2. While in CA we visited Palm Springs. Took the Aerial Tramway to the top, where there was a lot of snow. Visitors were enjoying the snow and doing some sledding. There were signs to use caution with sleds and to NOT throw snowballs. As we were getting ready to head back up to the mountain station I was hit really hard on the side of my head with a very icy snowball. It was very painful and stunned me. DH and I looked around to see where it came from. Then heard a young boy say "sorry". He was at the very top of steps. I thanked him for that but said he really needed to be more careful because that was dangerous. No reply. As we walked up he came running down the ramp with another snow ball in hand and proceeded to throw it at someone else. His parents were also on the way down. I looked at them and said "well, I'm glad he apologized". They smirked at me, said nothing, and continued down the hill. My head and ear were sore for the rest of the day. If that were my kid, I would have marched him directly to the person he hit to apologize and then probably trotted him back to the mountain station for some time on a bench.

Teeda, the parents smirked?!? That would have been a red flag for me and I likely would have reported their child’s behavior and snowball throwing to someone. How very rude (both instances). At least the furball in the seat next to you went to sleep.

I'd have reported that kid to the staff as well. They have strict rules in national parks, and are usually swift to enforce them.

My mom bore a scar on her chin her entire life from being hit in the face with a snowball as a child.

And I agree that it was fortunate about the sleeping seatmate - some years ago, I got stuck on a long flight next to a women who pulled out a peanut butter sandwich and took several hours to finish it because she was talking to her companion the entire flight. The smell of peanut butter was overpowering. I was the one who was trying to sleep in that instance ☹️

BTW, anybody else see in the news about Pierce Brosnan getting caught going off the trail in Yellowstone and posting a selfie on social media as evidence? He was fined - but not nearly enough, IMO. I didn't realize he was such a jerk.

I contemplated reporting the family but decided to let it go. Fortunately we did run into some lovely people during the rest of our trip. Outside, here's a picture I snapped of the fur ball!

@teeda We rarely fly SW anymore because the front rows are occupied before A1 is called due to pre-boarders. Your post brought to mind a similar situation when a woman asked a tall and very athletically built gentleman to give her his aisle seat so she could sit closer to her husband. He very pleasantly said "Southwest seating doesn't work that way", and went back to reading his paper. She didn't know how to respond and disappeared further back.

@hhireno DH and I recently attended the Philharmonic and the woman sitting directly in front of me pretended she was the conductor for the entire performance. At first I thought it was a fleeting joke, but she persisted. And no. She had no knowledge of conducting an orchestra. DH switched places with me. He's a good guy and a foot taller than me.

Has the world gotten more obnoxious, or have I just never noticed before?

People have gotten ruder, and dumber.

I have had a couple of experiences with the person sitting in front of me at a concert or play sitting forward in his/her seat. This blocks much of the stage from my view. I haven‘t had the guts to speak up…yet.

I remember a time when I looked for any airline BUT Southwest, but I caved and now really like it.

gardner123, I hear you about Southwest. We fly them because we've had their credit card for years and always have free flights available. We use the flights for spur of the moment get aways.

I love the response the gentleman gave about not switching seats. Will try to remember that. What was extra annoying about our experience was that we are probably 40 years older and significantly taller than the tiny young woman who wanted one of us to give up an aisle seat. As Kswl said, this chick was both rude and dumb.

I always offer to give up my seat if someone wants to sit by someone if I am by myself on Southwest. I do see, if you are long-legged and a big guy wanting to keep your aisle seat.

I prefer window seats, so I've never been asked to switch.

Teeda, LOL! Is that skunk?

Haha, Outside. She was a piece of work. She was face down asleep on her tray table the entire trip. Poor flight attendant had to reach over to deliver drinks/snacks to the poor guy sitting on the other side of her. DH said her boyfriend was also passed out the whole trip, but was upright. If I could sleep like that on a flight I wouldn't care where I was seated!

If I could sleep like that on a flight I wouldn't care where I was seated!

IKR! Once on a trip to Europe (in economy class), a young girl near me did that and I thought clever! But I’m long waisted and short legged and it did not work for me.

Unfortunately I think our ready access to technology today means that children (and even adults) are not learning to sit still and just be quiet. I distinctly remember my parents having to teach me this skill as a child (quietly listening and behaving without being given something to keep me busy).

I find myself less capable at this than I once was. I still can do it, but the natural duration has decreased from where I was prior to technologies (phones, tablets, etc) because I so readily have a device to distact/entertain myself if I'm not interested in what is going around me. I can't even imagine how it is for children who may never have had to do this because parents choose to provide the distraction device (ipad, phone, etc) immediately in any situation where they think the child may not naturally sit quietly.

I also believe that in general our society is losing the ability to be considerate of one another. I feel like we see this every day. It feels like it has gotten far worse since 2020. (Think about the increasing reports of roudiness and aggression on airplanes, etc.) I hope we can all strive to do better.

As far as getting up for the bathroom, I always try to get an aisle seat for everything because I do have some digestive issues and it's possible something could require me to get up. Always try to get airplane aisle seat, lecture hall aisle seat, etc. And at events I certainly try to wait until a nice break, though that's not always an option if there are no breaks or intermissions. I hate walking in front of people or asking them to move. I try to arrive early for open seating things (like company presentations) so that I can snag an aisle seat, hopefully closer to the exit, to avoid disrupting other people if I need to use the bathroom.