Take a deep breath. Prioritize. Do you have a handyman who can sort out the lights? You might just need new ones.

Plan your menu with easier alternatives. Delegate reasonable things for each of your daughters to do and bring.

Decide on doing only most meaningful. For us, I have to make the rolled Christmas cookies.

With my arthristis, rolling dough painful. The last few years I’ve had my Dd and her husband help. Not happening this year. I’ll do the best I can.

Satine wishing you a great holiday which is all the more special this year.

Do what my Mom always did...have a tree decorating party! Make the decorating part of the festivities and they will appreciate it all the more as they had a hand in it. The love in the home is what makes it feel cozy and warm. I also think it's important that the next generation step up and step in rather than expecting the prior generation to do it all. My old sec'y had a large italian family and she did the 7 fishes and then xmas day with brunch and dinner and she'd be just exhausted by the time it was done. I told her it was time to let the kids step up and recognize that Mom ain't getting any younger. What she learned was that they appreciated learning the family traditions and were happy to help, and she was able to enjoy it more too.

I was just at Home Depot. Here.....they have poinsettias in BLOOM for $1.50each. I'd just buy about 20 of those...put them ALL over the house....order in food....and enjoy the good company! I'm glad your family will be with you for Christmas! Good times! 🎀

Satine, please just rest today - prioritize yourself and your knees. What's more helpful to you - elevating? Ice? Heat?. That still gives you 5 days to get some things done - and know that no one but you will know that you didn't do all you'd wanted. The kids can help with the tree when they arrive. If you need new lights have them delivered. I've ordered a couple of things online Walmart to save myself a trip through their awful parking lot and crowded store and have been very surprised to see someone drive up with my purchase, leave it at my door.

If you feel better, kitchen and bathroom are clean, and you are really happy to have everyone there nothing else will matter.

We've spent a few holidays at my brothers over the years where he was knocking himself out producing gourmet dishes in the kitchen, wanting no help, making himself overly stressed and tired and not even visiting. We are not a family as a whole who needs exotic gourmet dishes. I'd have had a much better time being invited to help a little and talking to him as we worked....Last time they invited us I told them we will only come if the food is ordered in. And that's what we did - the entire meal prepped, cooked, delivered. No muss, no fuss, and nobody cranky or snarly 😊

Not that I can imagine you snarling but I'd love for you to be enjoying yourself!

Same! My reasons are emotionally and physically spent. Decided I'd only decorate the front porch. Two sets of lights and a wreath. No tree, no other indoor decorations. Today, I got the lights out of storage. Tomorrow, I'll see if they're all ok or need bulbs. Wednesday, I'll actually hang them. Done! All the cooking can be done in an hour, morning of. And that's all I'm doing. I can only do what I can do.

HUGS to you

Can your daughters come and help you get your place decorated? If not then I'd just let it go this year. Do shopping on-line. Make it easier on yourself.

My house is torn up right now, I could put my Christmas wreath out but I don't even feel like digging in the closet for the hanger. The wreath was thrown out by workers from that same closet, onto my kitchen table. Need to finish painting my fridge and then move a bunch of stuff out of the kitchen and sweep the floor really good before they bring the cabinets. But, I just sit here on my computer and phone watching videos.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm sort of glad to know I'm not alone in finding it hard to get the energized spirit to do all those Christmas-y things like cleaning and decorating the house - but I'm not expecting company either.

I do agree that if you can arrange a tree decorating party, that might help. My mom used to do that too - and she would sit and drink wine and visit with her less able friends while I and a couple of other people would do all the work 😀

To be fair, she would unpack all the decorations and lay them out ready to go, after my son helped get the boxes down and set up the tree.

And I'd think your daughters would be happy to help you - or should be.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm sort of glad to know I'm not alone in finding it hard to get the energized spirit to do all those Christmas-y things

i'm in the same camp. i've come to almost hate the holidays, it's all just too much work and expense and TENSION. if it wasn't for having a 7 year old grandson, i wouldn't even bother with it.

Between DH and I, we are splitting it up to 2 rooms at a time...it's about all I can handle.

Satine, I do hope that you have tested for a possible cause of your illness and are negative!

My basement is torn up, mid construction to repair termite damage - and the work has been going more slowly than I had hoped. So, I still have boxes that normally are stored there all over my small house - only exception is my bedroom - and the storage cabinets in a self-storage unit. The only really clean areas are the kitchen, bath, and my bedroom. Everywhere else is too crowded to do more than a lick and a promise.

Painting should be started tomorrow and finished in about 2 days - but there is still the new vinyl flooring to put in. I don't expect them to be finished until after Christmas - and that means another month of rent for the storage unit (bummer since I will only need it probably an extra week.)

So no decorations indoors, but I did get my wreath and porch lights up (3M Command strips FTW!! The little hooks have been up along the edges of the porch, and in a rear corner where I hang a lighted star, for several years. Makes hanging the lights so easy and quick!) I do love to have the holiday lights, although I've not put up a tree for a few years - I usually hang some lights on the fireplace and put out a few other little items (not this year, though!)

As for being stressed out by expectations, self imposed or otherwise -- I say FORNICATE the expectations! Just do only what will bring you (and your family, if appropriate) joy in the season!

And I apologize to anyone offended by my Monty Python reference.

Too funny, Raee!!

Thanks to all of you for your encouragment. I am going to try not to mess with the lights anymore. My grand daughter is supposed to come sometime this week to pick up a package and take it to ups to return and maybe she can mess with them. I am not going to do any tree decorating. The tree is a 6 ft flocked with white lights and is beautiful on its own. I will dig up a wreath for the front door and those pointsetias sound perfect. Lunch on Saturday will be baked ham, greek salad, relish tray, rolls and my oldest daughter has offered to bring mashed cauliflower. I have cookies in the freezer since I was sick for the cookie exchange I was invited to and that will be dessert.

Im sorry that others are not feeling the holiday spirit. I always look forward to the holidays but the closer they get the less motivation I have. I think the people I havent shopped for will be getting money. Im not worried about the house as I have a house cleaner coming on Friday. I thank you all again and hope that everyone has a peaceful holiday.

Satine, looks like you are not alone and I will join that club. Hope you get back to pt soon-so important! I have done practically nothing, but this year we are not having anything here. Still, I do like it when the house looks bright and pretty. Don't despair-with everyone there with you, the house will be full of joy and laughter which will give you that coziness and warmth you want.

Satine - I hope you get enough of your Christmas mojo back to enjoy the time with family.

Well I cleaned our place yesterday (all 1000 sq ft of it that we're living in while building), put up the tree (the 4' one sitting in the corner of the office that I got from Canadian Tire 3 years ago and carried into the living room, took off the plastic wrap, plugged it in and called decorating done). Christmas dinner is just 4 of us and I ordered it from Whole Foods which includes a turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing and cranberry sauce to which I will add brussels sprouts w/ pancetta and a salad. My Christmas shopping was split between a drug store that carries everything and Amzn. So can I be anymore of a bah humbug slacker? I don't think so.

ETA - I forgot the Chinese food that my son insists ordering-in every year for Christmas dinner as well.

I'm there with you. But this year was the first that my kids did a lot of the decorating. All previous years it was pick out the tree, make sure it's level and watered, hang a couple of ornaments to show they helped, then off to their busy lifes leaving me to finish everything. This year they actually stayed and had fun placing all the little vignettes that are tradition.

Blfenton: too funny on the chinese food! One year when my daughter was out of the country at xmas, DH, son, and I went to a movie and out for chinese food on xmas day.

You are certainly not alone Satine. I'm sad that I am not at all excited about Xmas. It certainly used to be a big deal but no longer. We always had a gorgeous tall Frazier Fir and one year I was taking down the balls and ornaments and it took me three hours and I thought...I'm done. So no more trees except the little German ones I have around the house. The front porch is decorated with wreaths and garland and antique sled. The side door has a lighted wreath and swag of greens. The inside is decorated in every downstairs room and two batches of cookies were baked. That's it. There are NO presents given anymore since the last grandchild graduated from College. That's the cut-off. I used to send 60- 70 cards every year and now it's down to five. In my old address books at least 90% of the people are dead.

So let your kids take over and do the tree for you and just enjoy each other's company.

Don't feel bad I am not in the mood either. Do what you can and enjoy your day with family.

I'm more in the mood this year, but I still do not do much. I am fine with extremely minimal Christmas decorations, and I've never had my own tree.

This morning I mailed a Christmas card to a friend in San Francisco and then realized that I had forgotten to put a stamp on it! That's how organized I am.

Another friend from SF was supposed to come to Palm Springs, but he emailed me this morning and said that he is still getting over his Covid infection and had cancelled his flights. My sister will still be here on Thursday, but she will be the only guest. Friday we are going to see Christmas with the Crawfords at the Margaritaville Resort in Palm Springs (Kevin's idea), which "is a delightful alternative to the usual saccharine fare offered during the holidays and is guaranteed to make anyone who sees it feel much better about their own family this time of year." My sister usually goes to see The Nutcracker Suite on stage at Christmas, and so this should be an interesting alternative.

My point is that it is good to be adaptable at this time of year, and you should not feel guilty if you have to take it easy for once.

We are certainly being adaptable this year. After checking with my brothers, we are not doing the usual Christmas Eve this year. It was prompted mainly by my schedule, but they and my sons live in the city and we are in the suburbs, and as one pointed out to me, we gather on the Eve and then the Day is spent similarly, same place same people, maybe even some of the same food. So, I’m glad they are on board.

I think it is a bit disappointing for my kids, though though, who loved our big gathering and I know DS#1 would have loved to share thwt with his GF. But, those days are past.

The one thing that makes it a little hard for me to truly fet into the spirit is that a lot of it falls on me. I’m the only woman between the ages of 26 and 87, and the only person who can host, the only one married, the only one with a house. The three bachelors we usually have who are over 30 are pretty clueless (and they are all over 60 besides so not likely to change). They are good for bringing a six pack or a bottle, at least. One bottle.

Gosh, I feel like a real Grinch!! I have not had a interest in Christmas since my ex and I separated. All the steps are grown and with families of their own and at a distance so it is just my sibs and their families that I see. And that can be a bit too much chaos and expense so I am inclined to back off and do my own thing.

Since I only just recently moved into a new place, I am still unpacking and organizing so very few decorations around. I gave up the tree years ago and my current space is too small anyway. But I do some special holiday cooking, listen to Christmas music and watch some favorite Christmas movies. And try to keep the fuss, bother and chaos to a minimum :-))

The past year has pretty much been awful so I am not getting in the Christmas mood. I felt so bad last night when one of my nieces asked if she and her family (husband, two teenage daughters) could come to visit and spend a night. I had to tell her not now because I am having a hard time with pain in my arm after my shoulder surgery. I just can’t face sheets, towels, grocery shopping etc. I swear I have to take a nap after washing my hair! I usually enjoy their visits. I did see them at my mom’s memorial get together, so its not like I havent seen them in a year.

Anyway, I did decorate indoors because my book club met here. I also put some lights outside, fewer than in past years. This is my first year not baking cookies or buying a tree.

On top if this my son who lives nearby has hurt his back and is in misery.

Aargh, I can’t wait until January 3rd. Id say January 2nd but Im getting a steroid injection in my neck that day. This whole holiday thing is for the birds, unless you have little kids, but even then.

Happier holidays to all of you and dont sweat the small stuff.

I'm glad I'm not alone in not getting the Xmas spirit this year. This hasn't been the best year losing my three pets in a matter of a few weeks. I miss them so much. Then I got COVID and had my squamous cell MOH surgery last week. Husband has something he says is a cold. Who even knows...cold, COVID, RSV,flu?? Watching the news is even more of a downer.

I'm so grateful that it's not my holiday and there is no pressure on me to participate. I watch a lot of my friends getting stressed out, running themselves ragged and spending money that they can't afford on obligatory gifts. Sadly, we are nowhere near having "peace on earth." But I truly enjoy being able to escape the whole holiday frenzy in my peaceful home.

Maybe I’ll convert.

I dug out one box of decorations and the stockings. No tree for the third year in a row because all of the 'gifts' that we are giving our son and DIL will fit in the stockings. DW put the decorations here and there.

Although we do have a pre-lit artificial tree, we really don't like it and have only used it a few times. We have always bought real Balsam Fir trees for their fragrance, and we both like the old-fashioned large multicolored light strings. This year we both agreed not to bother with a tree. They start at $65 and go up from there. Then we'd have to haul boxes out of the basement, put time into decorating it and then take it all down again. It's just the two of us here - it's just not worth the energy. We'd rather spend the money on a nice lunch somewhere. I have a simple balsam wreath on our front door. That's about it.

Oh I love balsam firs too - They have the most space for lots of ornaments and the fragrance is the best! I always used to buy one for the holiday - and they used to be the least expensive ones too - only $20.

Since we've had an aluminum tree for years now, I go to our local HD and bring home the trimmings they give away for free to make sprays for the doors and also to put in vases, buckets, etc. around the house so we can enjoy the scent, but they never see to have balsams any more.

Still not sure whether I'll bother setting up the tree this year, or just arrange a big container of boughs and hang some ornaments on that.

FYI, took a nap and am feeling less grumpy than when i wrote my previous post.

Finished decorating the library and the dr today. Tomorrow is clean the family room and decorate. Then I think we're done decorating. Yay! I've been chipping away at things, and am pleased to have a menu that should work fairly well for the vegans and the low fodmap and the rest of us. I'll plan on splitting up the cooking between Sunday and Monday. Family (12) will come about 12:30pm and the weather is supposed to be decent.. If I break it down into smaller bits, it's manageable. Fortunately, since I'm retired, I can do that. It's not like the old days where I was working and had to squeeze in the home life in between. For that I am most thankful.

But for xmas spirit, that is clearly lacking this year. I don't know why, but somehow my heart isn't in it. I've lost 4 friends this year....not that they died, but that they moved away and other things so I won't be seeing them again for a long, long time. I have been doing things with other friends and familly. I'm enjoying it, but my heart isn't in it for some reason. It used to be warmed by such activities, and this year, not so much. It's more like going through the motions...checking the boxes.

I think I need to spend more time gazing at the stars.

Maybe the forest fires in Canada affected the Balsam because I always buy two nice big Balsam wreaths from Lowes on Black Friday and this year's bunch was so awful, I ended up buying my wreaths at Traders. There were no free takeaway greens from Lowes but luckily my daughter got a 12-foot Frazier so after she was done getting the cut-off greens, I got a bunch to scatter around the house....Oh, and son just called to say goodbye. He and his wife are going on a 10-day cruise which will end New Year's Day. So the first Xmas ever without him...sob.

I think I need to spend more time gazing at the stars.

Absolutely! This is the time of year to get outside and enjoy the cool air and dark skies. Last night we had a fantastic show of the northern lights.

Christmas is going to come whether you decorate or not. Do what you can and the rest will fall into place. Think about the friends that have moved and remember the fun times you have had with them. Give them a call! Think about family living and dead. Remember the good times and make some new good times.

Go for a drive and look at your neighbour’s decorations. Watch a good movie. Listen to music. Sing.

🤠