Bless your heart! Sending healing thoughts to your mom, and prayers for strength to you and your dad.

Oh, Jojo. Bless her heart, that is quite the list. Prayers she recovers quickly and without difficulties. Bless your heart too, and your dads. I know you are both beside yourselves with worry due to the unknown. She is in good hands, so that should bring you and your dad some comfort.

I’m so sorry you and your parents are going through this ordeal.

i am past those years now and maybe my experience will be useful for you: looking back it gives me great comfort knowing I was there when the people who had loved and cared for me needed that themselves.

Its such an incredibly difficult time, but its a transcendent gift to give to them-and yourself.

Thanks for sharing here where we are all thinking of you at this tough time. Aging parents, delicate balance, distance—-it’s hard.

I’m feeling irresponsible that a determined MIL is on her own in FL—- broken femure healing but newer falls still happen. We live too spread out.

Hugs to you and both of your parents, so sorry this happened.

My mom at 85, was in a motorcycle accident, it was a long recovery. She had several sugeries, 2 weeks in the hospital and over 2 months in rehab at a SNF, followed by rehab at home. She eventually returned almost to her preaccident condition. I never would have guessed that she would do so well. Sending prayers that your mom has an equally as good recovery.

I am so sorry to read this, Jojo. I'll be sending lots of healing thoughts your way. Hoping for more positive updates.....

Jojo, I am so sorry to read about your Mom’s fall. She is in good hands, and I hope her healing and rehab will go well. Sending hugs and love.

Jojo, I am so sorry to read about your mom's fall. I've been where you are and the feelings of being scared, helpless, worried, sad, overwhelmed and hopeful get so jumbled up from minute to minute. And then the worry for dad and what he's feeling during this time as well. It sounds like good care will be available and I wish your parents and you all the best.

Being with her, reading short, funny or heartwarming stories,…and playing music is all so beneficial . And the music! I recently read it helps with healing. Sending your mother prayers for a good recovery.

Sending healing thoughts your mother's way. Hugs to her you and your family.

Jojo, sending you much love.

Jojo, I am so sorry and I hope your mom makes a fulll recovery. If there is anything you need please let me know. You are in my thoughts.

Hopefully the worst bit is over and you are waking up to a brighter day. Sending healing thoughts your mom’s way.

Adding my thoughts here, too, Jojo, for you, your parents and family. I hope your mom continues to make improvements. Take care of yourself, too, during this time.

Jojo, what a gut wrenching and diffiult time you are going through. I did the very same with my dad when I was 30 years old. Soon after I had to the same with my mom many times as well.

My heart goes out to you! I hope she makes a speedy recovery. Thank god they have you in their lives.

Much love!

Amy

What an exhausting weekend you have had. So glad that you are able to be there for both your mom and your dad. My prayers that each day brings forth a glimmer or more of improvement for your mom. Remember to pace yourself. ~ And thank you for sharing this. Isn't it amazing to feel the love and support of this wonderful community? What a gift during these crazy times!

It's so hard when the time comes to care for our parents. In my younger years I never thought about it. Then I had to deal with my mom with cancer, my grandmother with alzheimers at the same time. Somewhere during that time my dad broke his hip. My sister and I were still working at the time. We hired a group of caregivers to help us and I don't know what we would have done without them. Your poor mom, I hope she heals well and has an uneventful recovery period. I hope you are able to get some rest and take care of yourself too. I understand what you are saying and I will say that I was so thankful/blessed to be able to help care for my parents/grandmother. My dad lived several more years and I retired early and was able to spend alot of time with him when he became ill. Although it was one of the hardest times in my life, I have fond memories of those last days/weeks/months with him. (((jojo)))

Just wanted to add that when my Dad was in long term care, sometimes my sister and I would end up visiting him at the same time. There was a wooded trail across from his home, so after our visit we would take a walk in the woods together, it felt very healing after the care home atmosphere. If you can get your Dad out into nature (if he would like that) even for 1/2 an hour, it's a lovely break from the hospital/care home surroundings. I think it is really important for family/caregivers to be mindful of the fact that they need a little break once in a while.

Was looking to see if there were any updates. You and your mom remain in my thoughts.

a walk in the woods together, it feel very healing

Yes. Japanese "forest bathing" aka shinrin-yoku, loosely translated.

A relative of mine had a young child in the hospital for many months, and she created an outdoor space for patients on an unused rooftop, still in use today.

I am so sorry, Jojo! I hope your mother's recovery is smooth. It is so wonderful that your mother has you and your father at her side caring for her.

Jo, your pain can be felt. I am so very sorry. May her healing progress every minute of every day.

Checking back for updates, knowing you have bigger things on your mind.

I see the edit to your original post. My sister was always the white sheep of the family. I was always the scatterbrain. Sadly, my sister died and i had to step up. Dont underestimate what your sibs can and should do. However sometimes its less stressful to make your own decisions and not have to listen to other ideas.

Still sending hugs and good wishes to you and your parents.

Heading back from the hospital in a minute and will update later. The SparkNotes version is that she is a bit more responsive but in a lot of discomfort. It is heartbreaking.

The first days will always be the worst for pain and swelling. It becomes a catch 22 as far as her being alert versus being uncomfortable, but both should get a little better each day. Fingers crossed for you both.

Mom may have set the record for Shortest stay in the ICU. She was there about 10 hours before being moved to her current room in the trauma center. Sad to say that she is in a lot of discomfort. On top of her numerous fractures, she has a feeding tube in her nose that is driving her crazy. She gets very agitated by it and want it removed. But she hasn’t passed the swallow test and I am actually grateful that she is getting exact amounts of nutrition versus a few spoonfuls of applesauce here and there. When I saw her this morning I brought in two items that are very dear to her. Her face lit up with joy in a huge smile, and a slight gasp, like the word“Oh”. We are tasking the pharmacy to come up with a pain/anxiety, reducing med that does not have codeine in it which she cannot tolerate. Fingers crossed that they will find it. She is currently on Tylenol. I know, right? I’ve taken Tylenol for much less. But mom never, ever takes pain meds so her sensitivity to them is very high. Hopefully the Tylenol is helping a bit.
I am back at home with my father, and have talk to him in for a nap. He is doing OK, but he is exhausted and his confusion is more obvious right now. And understandable. To be honest, mom‘s care is a lot easier right now Than his I am answering the questions over and over again, and then explaining things loudly, and in simple terms. Once he understands it, he retains it for the most part.

I should be doing a better job of self-care, but right now, I just don’t have the time for it. I am doing a lot of blank, staring into space and crying in the shower. Once we find out what happens with mom, I will probably move to NYC for a bit to help dad if mom is in rehab, which we all assume will be the case.

Sorry for such a down beat post.

To end on a good note, she is better than she was yesterday.

Wow - that was a super short stay in ICU. She must be a tough cookie to be managing what I imagine to be intense pain with Tylenol. I'm glad you are able to appreciate the small changes as your Mom gradually improves.

“Better than yesterday” is a win for your mom… take them where you can. Thinking of you, your mom and dad.

Thank you for the update JoJo. That move out of ICU is a huge, positive step.

Hang in there, its perfectly ok to cry.

I hope they can find something to help ease her pain.

I'm glad that she's improving. I'm sorry dealing with your Dad is so trying, but it's a trying situation for all of you. Try not to over-anticipate and take it one step, one moment at a time. I know it's hard to do, but however much you can, it can help. Remember most of what we worry about never happens, and fear is not fact.

Sending thoughts of comfort and strength and healing your way as you go through this really hard time.

This is not easy stuff. Hoping having us here at all times of the day and night helps in some way.

Please don’t apologize for a down beat post! We’re all here for you and appreciate the updates. I’m glad she’s feeling better than yesterday!

I hope every day will bring improvements for everyone. ❤️

Having a loved one in the hospital is exhausting and anxiety-ridden for a caretaker … constant adrenaline flowing and fear of the unknown. And you have your sweet dad to take care of, too. It’s a lot.

Wish I could give you a big hug.

Absolutely cry. Plus remember hugs even a self hug helps. Also screaming screaming into a pillow or something like that helps me. Ask me how I know.

What I would do with the confused person in my life when it was going on for quite a while is I would do lots of hugging. A hug an explanation and then as you said a nap worked for that guy. Didn't work so well for our mother. Some people are more stubborn. I would love to give you an actual hug but the best I can do is a cyber hug. The biggest one I can give you is coming your way.

You know it comes in waves.. layers even. When you are concerned about the brain bleeds, nothing else matters ... but as they start resolving, then you are heartbroken by the intense pain and discomfort your mom is experiencing ... and as the pain lessens, the next concern will rise up. I am not sharing this to be a downer-- in fact, quite the opposite. Your mom is on a path to recovery. This is a good thing but definitely a long road. PLEASE take time to stop and care for yourself ... if only fruit and a quick muffin or sandwich... a walk around the block... a quiet moment under the stars. The littlest things will make a difference as the days turn to weeks.

I wish I could pop in with a care package and a hug! Take care <3

Broken ribs are so very painful and then she has broken scapula and concussion on top of it all. Not to mention the other bumps & bruises that must hurt like hexx too. Your Mom must be very resilient to be handling it all with Tylenol.

Continued healing thoughts and prayers for your Mom. Prayers that her pain can be lessened. Thoughts and prayers to you, Jojoco as you navigate this extremely difficult time. I know self care is hard in times like this, but if nothing else remember to be gentle with yourself. Accept offered help whether from family or medical staff, and know that your love, advocacy and presence are powerful gifts.

My thoughts are with you on this difficult journey. It's not an easy one. Take care of yourself.

Jojoco, showers are a blessing for a few minutes alone to cry. I’m glad your mother was so short a time in ICU. Keep up the communication and repetition with your dad, it will help in the long run.

So sorry to read about your Mom's fall and hoping they can find a pain killer that works soon. I'm sure it means so much to both your Mom and Dad to have you there with them. I will be thinking of you and sending healing thoughts for your Mom and strength and hugs to you and your Dad.

I didn't read your post as a downer. Out of the ICU and better than yesterday are very positive. But it's still hard and that is reality. You are overwhelmed and probably still frightened and I wish there was more we could do to comfort and reassure you than to point to your own words and tell you better than yesterday is a great path. Your father too. But you are stronger than you know -- you've got this, one step at a time. One day at a time. No one will care if your hair is styled or your nails are manicured, but do try to get some sleep and eat real food so you don't get sick and have to take days away from your parents. Your love and support is your mom's best medicine right now.

Oh -- speaking of medicine, I'm a super lightweight and don't tolerate a lot of pain meds too. Can they give your mom anti-inflammatories (NSAIDs) yet? They wouldn't at first due to bleeding risks, but those and tylenol can do a lot to reduce pain. My oral surgeon and DH's ortho both encourage patients to use OTC versions (Aleve, Motrin) or prescription anti-inflammatories to reduce or eliminate use of narcotic pain meds. DH took meloxicam (RX) once a day and extra strength tylenol after his knee replacement. He had oxy too, but I'm not sure he needed it.

I have used arnica topically in gel form, but it also comes in tiny pills (both OTC) and my sister has taken those. It reduces swelling and bruising and promotes faster healing in soft tissue. There is a plastic surgeon here who recommends it to his patients, so if her docs don't know about it, they might want to ask plastic surgeons or sports medicine folks about it.

And possibly better for later but I will throw it out there -- I use two OTC products to help manage my neck and shoulder pain -- Penetrex ordered off Amazon. It comes in a cream or roll on and I would suggest the roll on. It actually has arnica in it and is an anti-inflammatory that is applied topically without the risks of NSAIDs. The other is a foam made by Theraworx. They have a muscle cramp version and a joint pain version (and now I see a nerve pain one too). They are topical, but broken ribs and collar bone are near the surface and these just might help her out without the side effects of oral meds. The pharmacy may have even better options -- when I had a meniscus repair, my surgeon had a compounding pharmacy send out a tube of some concoction to rub in my knee. It was prescription only, available only from that one place and while it helped, I'm not sure it was better than these OTC products that have come along since. You might want to talk to the docs and pharmacists about topical options if that isn't a direction they are already leaning.

I'm going take my own advice and try to get some sleep (had a late trip to the airport and had to wind down). I hope tomorrow is better than today for all of you.

I am sending you and your parents healing prayers. I know this is a very hard time...

Sorry that was so long. Going away now....

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. It really means more than I can say. I feel so lucky to have you all to lean on.

Today seems like a step backwards. Moms blood sugar went up which is shocking since she’s the healthiest person I know with no signs of diabetes. But evidently trauma can rise blood sugar levels. She also had an MRI last night and we’re waiting for the results. They had to really knock her out for the MRI and we knew the drug with linger for about 24 hours. She’s pretty unresponsive right now. She’s now back on Tylenol and we’ll see if that wakes her up a bit. They also had to catheterize her as she was retaining urine. Evidently morphine can make that happen. Here’s a picture of my parents taken at their cottage in Connecticut five years ago. They are each other’s best friend.

((((Hugs))))

Sounds like these are things they can anticipate and are watching for so they won't get too far out of whack. Normal bumps -- hope that is all they will be. Meanwhile, I aspire to be your mom at 85. Lovely. All my best....

Your parents look so sweet and happy in that pic! Thinking good thoughts for your mom...

What a sweet picture of your lovely parents, jojo. ❤️

They look like best friends. He must be devastated.

I know where you get your great looks from! Sometimes being unresponsive helps you to rest and heal. I hope that her lack of response indicates she is more comfortable and her body is healing. I hope you are finding time to eat abd sleep. You need to put your oxygen mask on before you will be able to help your parents. xo