How Your Home Can Heal a Bad Day
The comforts of home can be a soothing tonic for those days when nothing goes right
Janet Dunn
August 17, 2020
Houzz Australia Contributor. Former NZ House&Garden writer and stylist, and avid interior design enthusiast. Ex-restaurateur and caterer, with a Professional Certificate in Gastronomy, University of Adelaide.
Houzz Australia Contributor. Former NZ House&Garden writer and stylist, and avid... More
Everyone has them — days that go rapidly downhill despite our best efforts. And when they’re over, we’re in need of a good dose of consolation. Restore your well-being and recover your equilibrium and energy with the best panacea of all: the place you call home. Pick a stress buster, or several, from these suggestions so you can go forth and slay dragons tomorrow.
At the end of a day filled with disasters, apart from being thankful that it’s over you’ll probably be feeling anxious, grouchy and sapped of energy. There’s nothing miraculous about the following tactics for pulling yourself out of the mire, but how often do you consciously employ them when you’ve hit bottom? These pick-me-ups are at your fingertips in your own home and cost next to nothing.
Water Therapy
Danish author Isak Dinesen believed the cure for anything was saltwater — sweat, tears or the sea. In the absence of a handy ocean, let water relax tense muscles and invigorate you. Whether you sink into a warm bath full of Epsom salts or stand under a strong shower stream, be conscious of how the delicious sensations of water on skin are washing away sad, angry and negative thoughts.
Why it helps: Our bodies react to hot and cold stimuli. Hot water is said to stimulate oxytocin levels — the so-called love hormone. A warm shower followed by a short, cool splash boosts circulation and the massage effect releases muscles. Immersion in a warm bath gives a sensation of weightlessness and release.
Danish author Isak Dinesen believed the cure for anything was saltwater — sweat, tears or the sea. In the absence of a handy ocean, let water relax tense muscles and invigorate you. Whether you sink into a warm bath full of Epsom salts or stand under a strong shower stream, be conscious of how the delicious sensations of water on skin are washing away sad, angry and negative thoughts.
Why it helps: Our bodies react to hot and cold stimuli. Hot water is said to stimulate oxytocin levels — the so-called love hormone. A warm shower followed by a short, cool splash boosts circulation and the massage effect releases muscles. Immersion in a warm bath gives a sensation of weightlessness and release.
The sound of splashing water is also soothing and healing. Flowing water has always been an important feature in gardens and temples, and many audio sleep aids call on water — the ocean, a river, the rain — to create a calm state of mind. A sensory experience connected with nature and pleasant mental images of cool water will take stress levels down a notch.
A garden or balcony water feature needn’t be elaborate or take up lots of space. A stone, bronze or concrete bowl with a small pump to return water to a spout creates a gentle gurgle to soothe a tired mind.
A garden or balcony water feature needn’t be elaborate or take up lots of space. A stone, bronze or concrete bowl with a small pump to return water to a spout creates a gentle gurgle to soothe a tired mind.
Good Company
Unburdening yourself to someone else, without expecting them to provide a solution, can be a cathartic way to release resentment. A trusted friend or family member who will listen to your gripes without judging or giving advice is worth their weight in gold. Unload over a cup of coffee or glass of wine.
Why it helps: “A problem shared is a problem halved.” Informal studies show that this chestnut holds true, and the counseling professions are based around the idea. Just verbalizing frustration may open up a different perspective and release irritation. No friend handy? Grab pen and paper and write it all down, bad words and all.
Unburdening yourself to someone else, without expecting them to provide a solution, can be a cathartic way to release resentment. A trusted friend or family member who will listen to your gripes without judging or giving advice is worth their weight in gold. Unload over a cup of coffee or glass of wine.
Why it helps: “A problem shared is a problem halved.” Informal studies show that this chestnut holds true, and the counseling professions are based around the idea. Just verbalizing frustration may open up a different perspective and release irritation. No friend handy? Grab pen and paper and write it all down, bad words and all.
Solitude
Solitude is a highly underrated state. It’s increasingly difficult nowadays to be completely alone. Even on your own, technology is becoming a constant and insidious companion. After a lousy day, luxuriate in a short spell of complete aloneness. Use it to examine your thoughts and put problems in order of priority. Carve out a corner for “me” time where you can shut out the world, just for a few moments.
Why it helps: In the company of others, we tend to “behave.” With no one else around, you can cry, laugh, swear, talk to yourself, even yell at the wall if you want.
Solitude is a highly underrated state. It’s increasingly difficult nowadays to be completely alone. Even on your own, technology is becoming a constant and insidious companion. After a lousy day, luxuriate in a short spell of complete aloneness. Use it to examine your thoughts and put problems in order of priority. Carve out a corner for “me” time where you can shut out the world, just for a few moments.
Why it helps: In the company of others, we tend to “behave.” With no one else around, you can cry, laugh, swear, talk to yourself, even yell at the wall if you want.
Good Scents
Aromatherapy in its true sense employs essential oils to improve health and treat certain medical conditions. Using scents purely as a pleasant and subtle way of making you feel fresh, cheerful and energized is part of banishing the blues. Find one you truly love. The scent of rose, jasmine, vanilla, citrus fruits, pine, cinnamon — even coffee beans or fresh bread — can put you in a better state of mind.
Why it helps: Aromas are linked to the emotional center of the brain and can evoke calming memories.
Aromatherapy in its true sense employs essential oils to improve health and treat certain medical conditions. Using scents purely as a pleasant and subtle way of making you feel fresh, cheerful and energized is part of banishing the blues. Find one you truly love. The scent of rose, jasmine, vanilla, citrus fruits, pine, cinnamon — even coffee beans or fresh bread — can put you in a better state of mind.
Why it helps: Aromas are linked to the emotional center of the brain and can evoke calming memories.
Your home can satisfy your olfactory senses in many ways, whether through a few drops of essential oil in the bath, scent diffusers, candles, a vase of fragrant flowers, an herbal pillow or a pampering spritz of a luxurious fragrance.
A Walk in the Garden
A garden is a place where magic happens. If you have one, take a leisurely amble, slowing your steps and pausing to sniff or clip. Notice colors, shapes, new growth and lovely smells. Take a leaf from botanist Luther Burbank’s book: “Flowers always make people better, happier…. They are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.”
Why it helps: As Sigmund Freud noted: “Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts.”
The Contemplative Garden: A Place for Quiet Reflection
A garden is a place where magic happens. If you have one, take a leisurely amble, slowing your steps and pausing to sniff or clip. Notice colors, shapes, new growth and lovely smells. Take a leaf from botanist Luther Burbank’s book: “Flowers always make people better, happier…. They are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.”
Why it helps: As Sigmund Freud noted: “Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts.”
The Contemplative Garden: A Place for Quiet Reflection
Happy Hands
Choose a small, absorbing task to take your mind off negative thoughts. It could be an unfinished craft project or even an undemanding chore that you enjoy. The important thing is that it’s something where you feel completely in control.
Why it helps: If seemingly unsolvable problems have spoiled your day, completing a task, however minor, restores confidence and gives a feeling of satisfaction.
Decorating With Nature in Fall and Winter
Choose a small, absorbing task to take your mind off negative thoughts. It could be an unfinished craft project or even an undemanding chore that you enjoy. The important thing is that it’s something where you feel completely in control.
Why it helps: If seemingly unsolvable problems have spoiled your day, completing a task, however minor, restores confidence and gives a feeling of satisfaction.
Decorating With Nature in Fall and Winter
Exercise
When your body is in a state of stress, it’s poised for action — the old “fight or flight” scenario. To discharge this tension, get moving. Whatever your fitness level, there are many options for a home workout —gentle yoga stretching, dancing to your favorite music, jumping on a mini trampoline or taking it out on a punching bag.
Why it helps: Physical exercise produces endorphins, the “feel-good” neurotransmitters in the brain. It provides an outlet for frustrations and, far from tiring you out, can actually leave you feeling more energized, calm and optimistic.
When your body is in a state of stress, it’s poised for action — the old “fight or flight” scenario. To discharge this tension, get moving. Whatever your fitness level, there are many options for a home workout —gentle yoga stretching, dancing to your favorite music, jumping on a mini trampoline or taking it out on a punching bag.
Why it helps: Physical exercise produces endorphins, the “feel-good” neurotransmitters in the brain. It provides an outlet for frustrations and, far from tiring you out, can actually leave you feeling more energized, calm and optimistic.
Breathing
As tension builds during the day, we often forget to breathe properly. Our shoulders scrunch up and breathing becomes shallow. Mastering breathing is integral to exercise and meditation disciplines, especially yoga and tai chi. Become aware of the tightness in your body and learn controlled breathing techniques to relax and clear your mind.
Yoga devotees know the value of the breath in easing stress. The practice of bhramari pranayama, or bee breath, releases tension and agitation, relieves headaches and lowers blood pressure. It’s easy to learn and you can do it anywhere.
As tension builds during the day, we often forget to breathe properly. Our shoulders scrunch up and breathing becomes shallow. Mastering breathing is integral to exercise and meditation disciplines, especially yoga and tai chi. Become aware of the tightness in your body and learn controlled breathing techniques to relax and clear your mind.
Yoga devotees know the value of the breath in easing stress. The practice of bhramari pranayama, or bee breath, releases tension and agitation, relieves headaches and lowers blood pressure. It’s easy to learn and you can do it anywhere.
A Glass of Wine
According to a quote often attributed to 13th-century Italian saint and philosopher Thomas Aquinas, “sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.” Before the bath and the sleep, many of us go straight to the wine to take the edge off a grim day. Initial euphoria can give way to a lower mood in no time, though, so sip, don’t slurp.
According to a quote often attributed to 13th-century Italian saint and philosopher Thomas Aquinas, “sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.” Before the bath and the sleep, many of us go straight to the wine to take the edge off a grim day. Initial euphoria can give way to a lower mood in no time, though, so sip, don’t slurp.
Mood Food
The term comfort food went into the Oxford English Dictionary in 1997, underpinning the widespread view that we eat with our minds as well as our bodies. Comfort foods often reflect childhood memories of being nurtured with certain foods, such as chicken soup. For a quick mood booster, reach for chocolate. It’s a delicious way to put a smile on your face. Eating a family-size block of low-cacao chocolate isn’t very healthy, but try nibbling on a few squares of dark, 70-percent-cacao chocolate instead.
Why it helps: Chocolate stimulates endorphins, chemicals linked to the brain’s pleasure center. It also contains serotonin, a proven antidepressant.
The term comfort food went into the Oxford English Dictionary in 1997, underpinning the widespread view that we eat with our minds as well as our bodies. Comfort foods often reflect childhood memories of being nurtured with certain foods, such as chicken soup. For a quick mood booster, reach for chocolate. It’s a delicious way to put a smile on your face. Eating a family-size block of low-cacao chocolate isn’t very healthy, but try nibbling on a few squares of dark, 70-percent-cacao chocolate instead.
Why it helps: Chocolate stimulates endorphins, chemicals linked to the brain’s pleasure center. It also contains serotonin, a proven antidepressant.
Kitchen Cure
It’s not for everyone, but there are plenty who believe in the restorative power of rattling a few pans and punishing some carrots. Even if you feel too tired, push through the barrier and hit the stove. Some find focusing on a culinary task is calming, almost meditative. There’s mental solace in doing things with our hands and taking control of a small area of our lives when other things are spiraling. The aromas of food can also positively affect mood and release tension, and the tastes of a healthy home-cooked meal double the pleasure.
It’s not for everyone, but there are plenty who believe in the restorative power of rattling a few pans and punishing some carrots. Even if you feel too tired, push through the barrier and hit the stove. Some find focusing on a culinary task is calming, almost meditative. There’s mental solace in doing things with our hands and taking control of a small area of our lives when other things are spiraling. The aromas of food can also positively affect mood and release tension, and the tastes of a healthy home-cooked meal double the pleasure.
Pet Therapy
When you need an undemanding, nonjudgmental, tactile and adoring friend, pets are always there for you. Pets are good listeners and accept unlimited cuddles with no complaint. Their uncomplicated happiness rubs off on uptight humans. A pet can bring a smile to your face and a calm sense of gratitude.
When you need an undemanding, nonjudgmental, tactile and adoring friend, pets are always there for you. Pets are good listeners and accept unlimited cuddles with no complaint. Their uncomplicated happiness rubs off on uptight humans. A pet can bring a smile to your face and a calm sense of gratitude.
Sleep
It’s nature’s way of healing the bumps and scratches of a nerve-racking day. Plan to feel calm and in control when you prepare for bed. Author John Steinbeck wisely said, “A problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.”
Tip: Work or family problems have a way of following us to bed. Professor David Hillman of the Sleep Health Foundation in Sydney says that shutting off from the minutiae of the day is difficult and advises getting into the habit of setting aside time for a formal wind-down. Away from the bedroom, briefly review the day and jot down a couple of problem-solving actions for tomorrow. Then leave those thoughts at the bedroom door.
It’s nature’s way of healing the bumps and scratches of a nerve-racking day. Plan to feel calm and in control when you prepare for bed. Author John Steinbeck wisely said, “A problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.”
Tip: Work or family problems have a way of following us to bed. Professor David Hillman of the Sleep Health Foundation in Sydney says that shutting off from the minutiae of the day is difficult and advises getting into the habit of setting aside time for a formal wind-down. Away from the bedroom, briefly review the day and jot down a couple of problem-solving actions for tomorrow. Then leave those thoughts at the bedroom door.
Tell us: What do you do to wind down after a bad day? Share your tips in the Comments.
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Our home is our sanctuary! The first thing I do when I get home is remove my bra! Put on my "woolies" (comfy clothes) and settle in for a long evening of great food, television and company! We record almost everything so we can watch together. I almost always have something cooking in the crocked pot never really knowing when my hub will be home from work. Time is so precious and Sundays are our day to relax, restore, and renew for the coming week. Even now in these times of lockdowns and global pandemics, this is our little corner of the world to get away from it all. We are truly blessed! :-)
ohh I like that... The heart pillow is cute.
Cooking/ironing and good music. My only caveat is, no one can talk to me. Cause I’m trying to get my head, right, after a bad day and cooking is my $400/hour therapist. If its really bad, the slow, methodical movements ironing bed linens or clothing, is very meditative. Music is my other therapist, especially the music that my parents were listening to, as a young girl