Your concerns over damage to the wood by water or pebbles in shoes or high heels are all valid. Bad news is there is not a product invented yet to eliminate those concerns. High heels or any shoes for that matter should never be worn on the floors. And the finish will delay the damaging effects water causes. But wont prevent it. Polyurethanes gives you the best in protection and looks.

Whitewashing a red oak floor makes it turns a bit pinkish, which I don't find attractive. It also won't work with the white cabinets. Also, when it wears off in high traffic areas it will look very unattractive, as you will see the original wood color there. Your floors don't have to be a dead blackish brown. They can be a beautiful deep mahogany color which will add life to the kitchen, and look very rich and elegant, especially with a beautiful sheen. That will be gorgeous with the white cabinets, and black counters.

Swedish Finish STINKS to HIGH HEAVEN! Why? Because the VOCs are into the stratosphere. They are very high! Stink. Stink. Stink. For those of us with MIGRAINES or with CHEMICAL SENSITIVITIES the Swedish Finish can be a horrible experience. Some people find it impossible to move in after a Swedish Finish. Some are out of the house for 6weeks or more....simply because they get so sick just being in the same house as the smell. The Swedish finish is one of the best wearing floors on the market...but I'll take a 3-coat Bona Traffic HD finish ANY DAY over a Swedish finish. If you pay to have 3 coats of the Bona Traffic HD put down you will build a finish that is VERY CLOSE to the Swedish Finish. The 'guys' who say water based aren't as good as oil haven't worked with the BIG BOYS of the floor finishing industry. Bona Traffic HD and Loba 2K Supra AT are SUPER TOUGH. Both of these finishes have been 'updated' in the last 5 years. If you are in an area where 'newfangled ideas' are frowned upon, then I can guarantee these dudes haven't looked into the TOP of the line stuff. A gallon of Bona Traffic HD should cost around $150. A gallon of the Loba 2K Supra AT = $190. Compare that to Home Depot option = $80 per gallon for Varethane waterborne finish. That's the stuff that DOES NOT perform as well as oil based. And the NUMBER OF COATS of Bona HD will dictate how 'tough' your floor will be. For another $1/sf you can have a finish that lasts 7-10 years longer. Many flooring refinishers prefer a 'sealant + 2 coats of finish' system. It is cheap(er) and faster and gets them on to the next job quicker. The 3 coats gets you another LEVEL of protection. By building the finish (we call this a film building finish for a reason) you CREATE the toughest floor possible WITHOUT having migraines or bleeding noses for 6+ weeks after you move in. And Swedish Finishes amber (turn orange). If you are trying to avoid 'orange' then the Swedish Finish might be too much colour for you.

I have lived in my new house for 15 months and I love the look of my floors - they are easy to decorate with and give the home a warm but "cool" look at the same time. However, I think the maintenance is much harder than what I previously had - natural red oak with a higher sheen. My new white oak floors have 1 coat of Bona Natural Seal and 2 coats of Bona Traffic HD satin. I adore the light color, but every little water spot shows, or a splash of spilled coffee. They are very unforgiving and I can't imagine these floors in a house with kids and a dog. And I do find myself wishing I had done 3 coats of Bona Traffic HD - just to give them more protection.