The approaching coronation has me thinking
Rosefolly
11 months ago
last modified: 11 months ago
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Comments (27)
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How would you approach this?
Comments (13)We thought it would be compelling in DH's case because BM lived in a 2 bedroom house with her mother and shared one room with both of her girls (ages 7 & 10) and had her out of town boyfriend sleep over in the same room with her daughters. We found SD posing her Barbie dolls in sex positions 'like mommy' and talk about mommy kissing & stuff with her boyfriend when she thought SD was asleep. DH offered to help BM pay for an apartment so she (BM) would have her own room where SD wouldn't be subjected to that but BM refused. She was living with her mom rent free and didn't want to pay anything. So, DH asked for physical custody because he could provide SD with her own room in our house. The court stated that BM could not be penalized because she could not afford better housing and the allegations of her boyfriend staying over could not be proven, she wasn't even dating him anymore by then. The court kept the previous arrangement of 50/50 every other week schedule. Of course, three weeks later, she met a new man and moved 3 hours away and just handed over custody of SD to us. That's when things went from bad to worse. SD wanted to go with her mom or didn't understand why her mom left her. She was a wreck and it's been an uphill battle with her ever since. Especially since her mom feeds her a bunch of lies.. that we stole her... that we won't let her go live over there... that we want to cut her off completely from her mom. Anyone that has followed my posts knows that for the past two months, DH has basically had to force her to come get her daughter and for over a year, my biggest gripe is that she won't call or answer her phone.. she doesn't come to school stuff, sports or anything to do with SD's life here. She didn't even celebrate her daughter's birthday with her last year... she promised SD to celebrate on her weekend and then went out to a party with her BF, leaving SD with BF's parents to babysit. Then, told SD that she didn't get to celebrate her birthday because WE didn't invite her to the party at our house. My point is: The behavioral problems that a BM can create with telling a child things like this are immense. If your SD's BM is convinced now that you are trying to take her child away... she will forever convince (or try to) your SD that you are responsible for taking her away and she will be the victim with SD's loyal sympathy. Be very careful about what you wish for, it doesn't always end up the way you imagine. My advice to you is to document what you can. Contact the authorities and let them decide if an investigation is necessary. Be supportive of your SD and be a soft place for her to fall when she needs it and it never hurts to have your DH offer to keep SD if BM gets overwhelmed. Keep documenting and seek the advice of a counselor or neutral third party that isn't going to push you to jump in with guns drawn, but will advise you how to handle the situation. What one person is appalled at, another person doesn't think it's so bad. If you go on a witch hunt, you may end up looking like you are just out to get BM because you don't agree with her lifestyle. I agree, it's not a good role model for her kids.. she sounds like she has some problems but the question arises... Is it to a level that constitutes a change in custody? Then the custody of her other kids may be placed in question. If it's so bad for your SD, her other kids may be impacted. This will affect more than just your SD. Think long and hard at all possible consequences and then take action as necessary. The health & safety of the children is the primary concern.. not necessarily the morals of the mother....See MoreRose Midge...an approach that works for me...
Comments (18)StillAnn, What happens if you only spray the early spring shoots of once blooming roses since they don't produce any more flowers until next spring? You may ask? Good question. All the basal growth and more laterals produced will get midged. When after the damaged growth tip becomes useless for continued growth, the rose bush will send a message to the highest up the stem bud below the midge damage to take over. The stem at this point is very thin new growth, being at the tip, and the bud that is called into action is also very small. It being nearest the tip, the rose's front line 'soldier,' so to say, proceeds as commanded by the bush to take over the critical job of producing growth to sustain the life of the bush. In no time at all, this new, weak growth produced is in turn attacked by a later generation midge! The process repeats itself again and again all summer long until first frost. Examine the new growth produced on a rose bush, especially new basal canes, that have been raved by midge all season long...it's not a pretty sight. Zig zagged weak, depleated looking canes and lateral stems everywhere. Each zig was where a midge attacked. The zag is the new growth made up the stem a few inches, and then there's another midge damaged zig....on and on up the stem to its tip...weak, misshapen growth all over the bush. That's what midge does to one time blooming roses....See MoreHas your approach to garden bed design changed?
Comments (40)I came across a really good article online (fine gardening magazine, I think) and it was about creating cohesiveness throughout your gardens by using color as a repetition as well as plants. For example, if you divided up a long bed into 3rds, you might have gold hostas, tall purple astilbes, and pink daylilies in the first third, then the middle third may be variegated blue and gold hostas, taller goatsbeard, shorter pink astilbes, and purple daylilies. The third section may have large blue or green hostas, gold heucheras in front, different pink daylilies, purple bellflowers or purple astilbes, etc. The point being that you can mix different types of plants and different varieties of the same plant when united by repetition of color. So for example, your eye lands on golds throughout the bed with the gold hostas, gold heuchera, perhaps a gold hakone grass, etc. The form of the daylilies and astilbes are repeated throughout, but the colors of the flowers and height can differ. At any rate, I am trying to use this technique this year to fill in some spots in the garden. Last night I divided some of my existing daylilies and placed the extras among some established hostas, I also divided a Liberty into 2 additional pieces and planted those in areas that needed the pop of gold. As everything leafs out, I will re-evaluate and continue to add more companion plants at the end of May....See MoreKids expecting TWINS! Don't think they need a freezer! HA!
Comments (29)That's a great compromise. They don't feel pushed. You get to make sure they're fed properly. They'll get to assess their further needs when they come, assuming they're both rested enough at some point to notice. :) Re freezing, I learned a new trick this year. Instead of flat packs of soup, I made pucks. I don't think they take more room in the freezer. The advantage is you can just plunk a puck into a bowl and zap it. I did soup, chili, and something else I can't remember. The molds I have are 7 oz. Silicone so it's easy to peel out the frozen pucks and bag them. The molds fit on quarter sheet pans, which makes them easy to manage, carrying and setting in the freezer, topped with plastic wrap. The same thing would work great for baby food with appropriate sized pucks, which could be plonked into babyfood containers in the fridge to thaw, or zapped in a dish. Have fun cooking!...See MoreRosefolly
11 months agoyoyobon_gw
11 months agoCarolyn Newlen
11 months agoRosefolly
11 months agolast modified: 11 months agomsmeow
11 months agovee_new
11 months agoannpanagain
11 months ago
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